#romantic musing

[puppy---love]

Lazing sleepily in our bed together in the warm light of the summer sun is the greatest. We’re warm against each other but cool in the gentle breeze from the window. It’s safe, it’s home.

[sparknshinerpmemes-blog]

You're my guilty pleasure                           we belong together.            You're my guilty pleasure...

              forever.  ❤️️

[seekerofthehedge]

Stream of thought

In my mind you sit across from me, featureless cafe surrounding us as my thoughts race by past a window. You were the one who reached out, holding out for me to place my hand. And I swear your grin when I was finally able to situate it there was better than any sunrise or set I had ever seen. I swear I still know that grin, knocking about in my eyes and heart, even when your lips morph to scowl aimed at clouds. Meticulously with free hand I pick a part my thoughts and heart. Telling you about my small happiness and the irritants. I share with you past chains and scars and in the same breath tell you of my future hopes. You are more like the water you hate so much. Placid, lapping at the edge of my feet, until a wave comes and crashes us down. I know I cannot stop it, and I cannot coax it to come sooner with less force. So I try my best to build a reservoir to catch it so that I may better assess. I know I am painfully new to this. My tongue and heart tripping as much as my feet. My eyes starry and filled with wonder, naive shyness prone to overtake me at new situations. But please do not think me idealistic in this. My heart has known pain and sadness. I have grown never seeing a healthy and whole relationship. So I try with my every breath to maintain realism. I don't want to be the one to fix your problems. Mine aren't there to match your tool kit either. But what makes it easier is knowing that you have someone there to squeeze your hand, to listen quietly, to tell you when you're wrong when you need it. That's what those words mean, right? For better and for worse? To be a team. I know my anxieties are horrid sometimes. And sometimes I wonder if I was just the chase. And that once I was got that was the end of the thrill. Even eight months later, I worry. Because a lot of the time I don't love myself, but you swear you love me as much as there are heavens. Sometimes I want to loosen my hands grip, and see if all the pressure of our held hands was just from me, or if it really is both our desires.