mshenko for @renlyslittlerose who has been so nice and supportive and writes real good . finally. also here on ao3 if you wanna share nice words! thanks for reading!
Ronan Shepard snores. It’s not something many people know, and it’s something that’s never bothered Kaidan before. Still, every time they get in bed together, he wonders what kind of night it will be. Whether Ronan will be silent, snore at a comfortable volume, or snore like a bear. Today’s shared nap is the middle option.
Ronan’s face is buried in Kaidan’s neck, his warm breath ghosting over Kaidan’s collarbone. Lying on his back, Kaidan reads through some reports on a datapad with Ronan’s front pressed to his side and arm thrown over Kaidan’s stomach. The bed is almost too hot, with two biotics dozing skin-to-skin. Kaidan wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re both down to their skivvies; Ronan had caught Kaidan fresh from the shower, and stripped down to match him. Who was Kaidan to argue? Especially when Ronan manhandled him into the bed and curled up against him. He doesn’t sleep much anymore.
Kaidan trails the fingertips of his free hand up and down Ronan’s back. He’d like for Shepard to sleep as long as possible, but he does miss having two hands. He peeks down at what he can see of Ronan—the side of his head, his shoulder, a portion of his back—and smiles. His boyfriend is beautiful when he’s still. He’s always beautiful, but even more so in rare moments like this. When Kaidan’s eyes can rove over the expanse of pale skin, the shine of light on dark hair, the lines of muscle and the fan of black lashes against his cheek. He just wishes he could see those bright brown eyes at rest.
It’s a few minutes more before the snoring dies down. Ronan hums in his sleep, burrows deeper against Kaidan—as if that were possible. Kaidan listens to his soft breathing as he reads, sliding his hand up to thread through Ronan’s curls. He hums again. Kaidan remembers longing for moments like this. When the Normandy went down over Alchera, he’d spent many sleepless nights thinking about the young, brave, strong, handsome Commander Shepard. How he’d never acted on the feelings he felt for him. They’d been budding, hidden behind a lack of certainty at where Ronan stood and countless regulations. Still. They’d been there.
Any hope Kaidan had of seeing where they could go had gone down with the Normandy. But Ronan had come back. A fact Kaidan is reminded of when he groans right in his ear.
“You’re working in bed,” Ronan slurs, shifting against Kaidan. “Why are you working in bed?”
Kaidan snorts. “Because someone has to pick up Commander Shepard’s slack while he’s snoozing. Who better than the XO?”
“Fair.” Ronan tilts his head, stubble scratching at Kaidan’s neck as he nuzzles behind Kaidan’s ear. It’s his turn to hum. “But you could have been sleeping, too.”
“You needed it more than I did.”
Ronan doesn’t respond. Kaidan knows what he’s thinking. That there’s been too much to do and too little time and so many people that need help and so many worlds that need saving for him to just sleep. Every minute people die, and that thought weighs on Commander Shepard. On Ronan. The galaxy—the Council—somehow finds more weight to drop on his shoulders. Ronan has never been one to shirk his responsibilities, no matter how large. The countless small favors he’d run back when they crewed the SR-1 had been enough to prove that. So Ronan pushes himself beyond his limitations, and Kaidan tries to take as much of the burden as he can. They all do. Still, there are many nights Kaidan either goes to sleep or wakes up alone.
Not this time. He may have slept less than Ronan for once, but at least he still woke up with Shepard by his side.
“Yeah, well,” he starts, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. “I’m sure I’ll regret it later.”
Kaidan scoffs, tosses his datapad onto the side table and shifts to get up. Cool air draws a shiver from him. “Well if that’s the case—”
“No, no, no,” Ronan groans. His grip on Kaidan tightens, forcing him to fall back into the bed with a laugh. Ronan snuggles back up against him. He throws a leg over Kaidan’s for good measure. “Let’s just stay here for a while. Please.”
Kaidan sighs, kissing Ronan’s forehead and reveling in the quick return to the heat of his skin. You’ve earned it. More than. “Sure, Ronan.”
Ronan mumbles his appreciation. His fingers trace lazy patterns across Kaidan’s stomach as he tips his chin up to catch Kaidan’s lips with his. Kaidan hums into the kiss, rolling onto his side and pulling Ronan flush against him. His hand slips back into Ronan’s curls while Ronan teases his fingertips along Kaidan’s waistband. Kaidan longs to deepen the kiss, to progress past making out and press Ronan down into the bed. But this is enough. It’s all he’s wanted.
Each kiss grows slower, lazier. It becomes little more than just letting their lips brush as they settle against each other. Kaidan stays close, pressing his forehead to Ronan’s and dragging his thumb along his jaw. Ronan’s eyes stay closed from the kiss. Kaidan sympathizes. His limbs and eyelids are heavy again, dragged down by the warmth of the bed and the warmth of the company. He closes his own eyes. Listens to Ronan’s breathing become deeper.
He’d been certain Ronan had fallen back asleep when Kaidan heard him hum once more.
“Hey, Kaidan?” His words are slurring again, this time as he fights sleep rather than waking.
“If you pick up that datapad again, I’ll gut punch you.”
Kaidan snorts. “Yes, sir.”
His last thought as he lets himself slip into unconsciousness is that he better not dream of any damn datapads.
