How do i know if im trans. How do i know whether i just want to dress differently or if that pang of jealousy I feel isn't just because i want to dress the same. Surgery is expensive and brings attention. It also carries risks. What if im still unhappy. I want my cheekbones to be softer and my face to be rounder. Does that come from estrogen? Do i have to get face reconstructive surgery? Does facial hair go away on its own. I hate this. I hate my skin, and it did nothing to deserve it. Should I learn to love myself? How can I draw the line between resonable changes and unhealthy beauty expectations. What is it whats the solution whats the cure im fucking losing my mind pent up here trying to understand why I want to tear my skin off everytime I get a boner. It's insane i feel like im going insane. Im so bored all the time. Nothing occupies me more than this thought anymore. I hide from my realities, but i know changes must be made. Changes that can not be made without money. Fuck fuck fuck fuck me silly in a gorge. This rambling has not given me the satisfaction i had forsought. Someone drop a comment below if you have heroin or help or a really funn video like the one of the weird al show intro but every noun is him screaming