#roommate rules

[kissesandabattleaxe]

Official Roomate Rules

1. Every Tuesday each roommate is required to dance to a song previously deemed undancable, if any roommate misses this then they have to make it up with a song chosen by the person in charge of the kitchen for that week.

2. Juan will fall in love with any girl Dani brings home, Dani will not fight with Juan until said girl leaves unless it is New Years.

3. Juan will not hit on or steal girls that other roommates invite over for obvious reasons

4. Gabriel can be seen eating peanut butter from the jar and listening to spanish Disney songs or Shakira, just let it happen, he’s had a bad day.

5. Cristhian decorates for every holiday, we let it happen and enjoy it. As long as he keeps confetti out of the carpet and the toilet then he is allowed to do whatever he wants.

6. If you hear screaming, male or female, DO NOT GO INTO THE LIVING ROOM. DO NOT. That is Dani sneezing, or Alli and Gabe having sex. It’s not worth it to check.

7. Certain roommates do not know how to count, do not point it out.

8. As far as hipster haircuts go, Samm holds the title indefinitely. Soccer haircuts are allowed, as done by Samm and Gabriel.

9. Don’t shave in the kitchen sink

10. If Barca is playing there shall be no noise and no visitors unless they will cheer accordingly and support Barca or say nothing

11. During March Madness let Samm watch basketball with Marteño no matter what time it is

12. There is a pot of white gunk on the stove at all times, we don’t know what it is, but it is Juan’s and don’t touch it.

13. If Cristhian is in the kitchen do not touch the knife, the blade will still be hot

14. All roommates will use some outdated or overly formal expressions, let it happen and adopt them

15. No latin dancing until 3 pm, and no later than 2 am

16. No dishes in the sink

17. The tennis ball bucket is not for throwing up in, it is for tennis balls

18. Don’t slam the door. Everyone doesn’t need to know when you are coming and going. Unless thats a sign of ‘don’t come out the room some shit is happening’ then yes, break the hinges.

19. Laundry Detergent is not a Cover-Up for Not Showering

20. DO NOT open Snapchats from roommates in front of other people that are not roommates, it will be something gross, probably from Alli

21. The Snooze Button is Not an Option

22. Juan must ask and occasionally grovel, and have Samm check his homework before he can play Legend of Zelda

23. If Your Friend Has Slept on the Couch for More Than a Week, He’s Paying Rent.

24. The cleaning rags can not live on top of the water heater, move them, they have a home in the closet

25. If Gabriel lets his dick hang out twice in a week the other roommates are allowed to safety pin all his boxers, pants and any coverings closed

26. No Kung Fu in the living room

27. The transexual from upstairs is not allowed to borrow sheets without asking the owner of said sheets

28. No fish for breakfast

29. Don’t be a cockblock, unless #2 and #3 are violated

30. If you put dead things in the trash you will then take ALL the trash out.

31. Tell all visitors no bare feet in the bathroom, they will get some disease

32. If Dani is sleeping on the floor or ignoring your very existence, that’s normal and he means well.

33. Cristhian’s scowl is perpetual, it’s the more lax frowning you have to worry about.

34. If you have the food that gets the flies then you are in charge of catching/killing them all with tape

35. Don’t let anybody finish a bottle in 4 drinks or less.

36. Until you receive rabies vaccine do not chase after the racoons.

37. Samm is new, let’s keep screwing with her to a minimum.

38. If you ever speak to Samm in Spanish, please use the formal Usted.

39. Stress Free Time begins at 8pm. We don’t discuss stressful things or problems, unless it directly involves with us and we need to see it and move past it.

40. Don’t Dribble Hold your lil’ snake firmly when you go pee-pee.

41. When we are going out, we dress up, even if it’s too the grocery store. We all feel better when dressed up.

42. If you want to express your feelings, do so through song

43. DO NOT PICK OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR

44. When Gabe uses dirty slang, correct him. He speaks a different Spanish and it doesn’t translate as well.

45. If you say something sexist or offensive the riding crop is mounted on the wall and it is there for hitting people

[thetipsybiscuit]

I think I'm going to make a new rule that whenever my roommate brings a new guy home they must bring me an offering of ice cream to appease me.

[crazycoatcheckgirl]

What kind of roommate rules would/do you insist on?

With my current (soon to be ex) roommate the only real rules were I got the TV when my shows were on and that you always had to ask if the other person wanted whatever you were cooking so that there was enough if someone made something delicious. I’d like to think I’m easy to live with.

[thecambrielle]

This is serious

Roomie rules

 Dont slam the door. Everyone don't need to know when you coming and going. Unless thats a sign of dont come out the room some f#ck sh*t is happening then yes girl break the hinges.

If I offer you some food this means I get the first and last bite. Nothing makes a fat person more angry than seeing an empty container of their food beside the sink. Atleast wash the sh*t don't be both greedy and lazy f#ck. It's either or... one b*tchass characteristic per person.

Dont be a loud f#cker. A little moan is ok but b*tch if the wall is shaking and your bed is commentating, F#ck on the floor.

If you see the roach kill the roach! Dont call nobody name and SCREAM... pull your skirt down and squish it b/c GOD sent that Muthaf#cka for you to send it to it's maker.

[blueaphelion]

To retaliate and stand up for what I want, or to just go by the rule until my 6 months here are up...

[gtfuyfu-blog-blog]

ROOMMATE PROTIP #1

steal my booze once, shame on me for leaving it. if you steal my booze twice, you better lock your fucking bedroom door at night.

[goodoldgallifrey]

The Rules and Bylaws of Room 110

my roommate and I got bored/were looking for an excuse to avoid homework so we wrote some pretty legit roommate rules.

1.      A Harry Potter movie must be played at least once every other week.  Quoting along with the movie is permitted, assuming one actually knows the quote.

2.      Each roommate must buy three new nail polishes per semester, and must get approval before purchasing (mostly to be sure that no color is duplicated because that wastes money).

3.      Each roommate must speak ghetto at least 10 minutes a day.

4.      Each roommate must speak with a British accent for at least 2 hours a week.

5.      If one roommate discovers Hogwarts, Diagon Alley, or Narnia, she must invite the other roommate along.

6.      If one roommate invents time travel, the first trip (after it has been proven safe) must be between the two roommates.

7.      One roommate is not allowed to watch Supernatural without the other (with the exception of the one episode Emily must watch to catch up with Char).  The two roommates must watch the show together.  When Supernatural is completed, they will proceed to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer together.

8.      If one roommate receives superpowers (dunked in toxic waste, bitten by a radioactive creature, etc.), the other automatically becomes the sidekick.  The sidekick’s identity will be chosen in correspondence with the superhero’s (or vill3          ain’s) newfound powers.

9.      The door to room 110 must always be decorated.  It is primarily considered Char’s job, however Emily is given some input on themes/ideas.

10. Room 110 is a “Judge Free Zone.”  Violators will be asked to leave once, and then mercilessly flogged.  You will receive only one warning.

11. When in doubt, add glitter.

12. Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Sherlock, and the Hunger Games will be quoted whenever possible, even with guests present.

13. Only classy motherfuckers, as determined by Emily and Char, are allowed in Room 110. 

14. This is college.  Each roommate must wake up regretting something each semester.

15. All Hail the BOSS Zefron Poster.

16. New episodes of shared fandoms will be watched together and promptly after first airing. 

a.     The only exception being new Doctor Who episodes this fall that air on home football game Saturdays.  Char has season tickets and wants to get her mother’s money worth.  Emily is allowed to watch the episode during the game, provided she DOES NOT spoil the episode for Char. Until Char is given ample time to view the new episode, discussions are not permitted.

17. When watching Disney Musicals, singing is not only encouraged but required.

18. All Fandom related Holidays will be celebrated:

a.     Battle of Hogwarts, May 2nd

b.     Doomsday, July 8th

c.     And others

19. One Direction.

20. Roommates must be the two side of the same coin.

21. You can’t take the sky from Room 110.

22. When JK Rowling’s new book is released (September 27th), roommates will allow the other to read in peace without spoilers until both have completed the novel.

23. The roommates solemnly swear that they are up to no good.

  The signatures below create a binding magical contract for the Iowa State University of Science and Technology 2012 – 2013 school year.  If one roommate commits continuous or severe infringements of the above stated rules and bylaws, she will smited where she stands.

  X                                                                                                          Date                                      

  X                                                                                                          Date                                       

[moonspren]

Rule #1: we are not going to talk about what i do on the internet