#rose-rants

[rose-kitten-universe]

Why is being bi so hard?? Okay I actually know why I’m struggling thanks heteronormative conditioning But like I want to overcome it, but they keep closing all the lgbtq clubs/bars/social gathering places near me and I feel really isolated in my community. My gaydar also sucks and so many straight girls do gay stuff when they’re drunk or do it to just play around and it’s really confusing??? I’ve dated men the entirety of my life, but have always been attracted to women too and have no idea how to go about finding, let alone dating, a girl that isn’t my best friend, without getting on internet dating apps. Idk what to do and it’s sooooo frustrating. Ugh

[jonesb0nes]

the first picture i’ve seen of him in months- and he still can’t make eye contact. they say they see the devil in his eyes. the devil was my best friend before he fell and it’s like i can’t see, it’s like i can’t register who i’m looking at. when did his hair get so cloaked, when did he identify with the institution that send young men to their death? when did he start choking down nicotine? why is he still in my head and still in my dreams fucking years later? the kind of rejection of character he spewed to me was like poison gas, made me scared to be queer in a pool of car crashes. i hate that my life contained him for 10 months. it’s like i want him dead but i’m so far from that conclusion that i’d never say it anywhere but here. i hope he sees this though. hope ur lungs pop you phobic whore.