I Feel Like I Am Going Crazy
The mirror caught me off guard today. It wasn't anything obvious at first—I still had the same face, same body… just more tired, maybe. A little paler, but nothing overly obvious at first.
But then I noticed it: my eyes weren't blue but instead held a hint of gold that disappeared the moment I blinked.
Maybe it was just the lighting in the room; after all, my eyes couldn't have changed color, could they? My room isn't that bright, though, and to be honest, my heart is still racing.
For some reason, everything just feels louder today. Every sound I hear echoes in my ear like it's right beside me. Any breathing, shifting, even my own pulse I can hear crystal clear.
And the smell of everything… it’s overwhelming. Sharp. Metallic. Alive. I tried to eat earlier, but I just couldn’t. Nothing tasted right. Nothing felt right. However, it isn't that that scares me.
What scares me is the moment I stood still… the moment I tried to shut it all out. I could feel a rhythm inside me; it isn't movement. I felt that a long time ago... this is different.
This feels like steady, intentional awareness that is occurring inside of me. It is like me and the pups can communicate on some level. Is this normal? Has anyone else heard of this beforenor had experience with this? Because I feel like I am going crazy!