#rough weekend

[breakurnecks]

4.10.26

[leaveherwildliketheflowers]

Current Dilemmas

So stressed that I'm clenching my jaw and it is giving me headaches and it hurts to eat.

I have had 3 meltdowns in 2 days over my period not restoring.

Had another meltdown last night over where I'm at in therapy and feeling guilty for still seeing a T twice a week.

Which leads to the question I am currently contemplating of when do I step down care? How do I know if it is time to go back to having sessions once a week. Continuing to meet with a T twice a week when it's been 7 months feels...greedy. Yet I still don't make it the 3-4 days between sessions without at least one major meltdown over something related to the twins, miscarriage, infertility, restoring my period or childhood trauma that is rudely creeping in. I still silently ask the universe to kindly let me die every night before I go to sleep. What is wrong with me? Why can't I get it together!

To say I am frustrated with myself is an understatement.

[ginalover]

Monday

Rough weekend, La Reina?

[bunnies-and-sunshine]

Rough weekend.

Simon was not a fan of the thunderstorms and howling wind this weekend and even less a fan of getting medicine.  Clearly, no amount of treats will make this indignity okay.

[chocolatecastleinthesky]

Right now I can't tell if it's anxiety or depression getting to me but my chest feels constricted and my stomach is upset and I'm feeling so many emotions at once I just wanna cry. And I want to blame it on the movie I saw (the new how to train your dragon movie is wonderful btw) but I know that's not all of it.

[thehotdamnweather]

How lovely is today, August 14, 2017?

Today is Diego-Luna-lovely.

[richsepicjourney2health]

Just shitty stuff....

I’ve kind of had a bit of a rough week/weekend. Earlier last week my mother was admitted to the hospital, initially for an infection that led to an amputation or up to her knee. Unfortunately, the infection was still in her system and the docs were unable to close up on Wednesday and was due to go back in on Friday. On Friday, her heart rate was crazy high, but she had low blood pressure so the surgery was postponed and more antibiotics were added to help with infection. Saturday, things just got out of hand. Heart rate continued to be erratic and her body just finally failed, and she passed away Saturday night. @negan--is--god and I are just waiting on the details of the services before our 16 hour drive to Texas. In the meantime, I’ll be keeping up with the challenge(s) I’m in and hopefully it’ll help me keep my mind clear.

[laurelsophia]

Dirty mirror, clean slate