i was sitting, waiting when you surprisingly came and stood before me. in an instant my palms were sweaty and my heart paraded on its own. i had so much to say but your presence robbed me of my innate ability to express. i was, as usual, speechless.
i was sitting, staring when you can no longer trap the sadness and sadness itself willingly surfaced through your eyes and voice when you lifelessly attempted to answer my question.
two hours passed but still i am sitting, drowning in regret. i should have said more. i should have told you the things i’d say if we were given five hours to chat over a cup of coffee. i should have told you how sincerely proud i am of you despite of your misfortune. i should have let you know that i am a big fan and that i’d hug you if only i am out of this glass box and these black clothes. i should have told you more. i should have kept talking until my words become enough to take the sadness away. if only i could…
i, too, was there standing and staring at how silently you guys walked and waited. i was there standing, waiting for you to glance up and that maybe you’d see me from afar. if you did, oh if you only did, i would have given you a smart salute to show you that i respect you now just like how my whole country respected you in times of victory. if only you did, i would have done it.
and now i am here, sitting and silently weeping my heart through words because of the things i failed to say and do. i regret that i was there, that i was in front of you and yet i failed to make you feel good, to make you feel what you deserve to feel - IMPORTANT.