The storylines at xoxo gleeks are so good. from Rachel's (rstar-berry) ED storyline, to Santana's (santana-gg) loosing her baby. And the cute Fuinn storylines.
Notes: Sam and Sebastian talk about Rachel and Jeff.
The day after his incredible date with Rachel or not-Sebastian didn't care. Jeff was confusing him more than ever now and he just couldn't let go of it. He felt the need to talk to the boy, but when he did, he felt like he was suffocating, wanted to run away from everything. The truth that he had found out and the blond had admitted to in the Music Store had proven to be too much for him. The knowledge that Jeff had a crush on him made him feel so many different things. "Good afternoon, Samuel," he greeted the blond, pushing himself off from the brick wall he was leaning against in the courtyard. Sebastian didn't trust many people on the Upper East Side, but somehow Sam Evans had become one worthy. The guy seemed reasonable, honest and - even better - didn't seem to get along with Rachel. "How are you?"
Sam was having a really, really good week. The boy was forming friendships with both Jeff and Sebastian, something he desperately needed, and on top of that, he hadn't been involved in any drama since returning to the Upper East Side. He had no idea why Sebastian wanted to speak to him, but Sam was more than happy to oblige. Lunch arrived, and the blond headed out into the St. Jude's courtyard to their designated meeting place, quickly spotting his friend leaning against the far wall. "Sebastian," Sam greeted back, grinning up at the taller boy. "I'm good, thanks. We got out of a paper in World Geography. How are you, dude? This isn't about, like, moving that body from yesterday, is it? The freshman?" Sam laughed, winking playfully.
Sebastian couldn't help but roll his eyes at Sam's excitement. He didn't know how or why, but the boy always seemed to keep a good posture; always cheerful and happy. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," he waved his jokes away, "this is actually serious." He swallowed after those words, walking over to a bench and sitting down on it. He didn't even know how he was going to start this conversation. He decided to just start at the beginning. "Has Jeff told you anything about the night of the auction? Or said anything about me?" he asked, glaring to the nothingness in front of him.
Sam furrowed his eyebrows at the word 'serious', his cheeky grin almost immediately dropping into a more serious frown, his lips slightly pursed. Serious...what could this be concerning? Following the taller boy over to the bench, Sam dropped his bag down next to the bench leg and took a seat, leaning forward slightly as his fingers clasped the slight bend of the wood beneath him. Sebastian was straight to the point, and Sam raised an eyebrow as he started to reply. "Jeff? Well, be said that he sang to you...that was basically it. We didn't really talk much about you yesterday, I don't think. My brother and sister kept hounding him. Why, Seb?"
"Because something else happened..." Sebastian trailed off, the events of the night flashing before his eyes. "Jeffrey..." he hesitated, "...he told me he has a crush on me." The brown haired guy sucked in a breath, shifting his body a little nervously. "And...Yeah." He didn't know what to say for a moment.
Now this was something that Sam wasn't expecting. His eyes widened as Sebastian started to speak, the emerald of his irises flashing in the midday light, surprised by both the tone of Sebastian's voice and the words escaping his mouth. He'd never seen Sebastian almost stuck for words like this. He even seemed nervous. Sam's eyes turned to the floor as exhaled, blowing a slight raspberry at the concrete floor of the courtyard. "Wow, dude. Really?" The blond looked back up, leaning back against the surface of the bench. "And how do you feel about that? Do you mind? Do you feel anything back? Because you seem a little nervous, dude..."
"...Yes, I know," Sebastian tried to cut off Sam's sentence, but the words had already been out. He was perfectly aware of his own body language, admitting to it was a second thing. "I freaked out," he confessed, blurting to words out of his mouth as quickly as he could, "I walked out of the store and left him there." He clenched his jaw, knowing how horrible that sounded. "I didn't know what else to do. I don't know what I feel. I..." he sighed, closing his eyes for a brief moment to regain his cool, "...it's just messing with my head. I like Rachel, I like her a lot...but Jeffrey..." He shrugged lightly, his eyes lowering to the ground. "I don't know.
Sam bit down on his bottom lip, chewing subconsciously as he listened to Sebastian's retelling of the night he and Jeff went out. He honestly felt bad for his new friend...he'd been in the same situation before, trying to choose between confusing feelings for two different people...and it hadn't ended well. Was it even possible to? Sam went with the impulse in the pit of his gut, stretching out his arm and placing it lightly on Sebastian's shoulder. He looked up at the boy, a small half-smile growing as the corner of his mouth turned up, his eyes dim and sympathetic. "That...honestly, that sucks, dude. It's one of the worst feelings ever. But...you're going to have to try to sort it out, Seb. Which do you like more...do you have any idea?" Sam knew this would be hard for the other boy to take in, but in situations like the one present, the blond believed that you should throw as much advice as possible at the subject, in the hopes that some of it would get through. "Have you tried talking to either of them?"
Sebastian turned his head to give Sam a weird look when he felt a hand touching his shoulder, but let it be. He wasn't used to that kind of affection. "I'm not going to talk to them," he snorted, "are you insane? I don't even know /what/ I feel for Jeffrey. I mean, yeah, I was interested in doing him and I really like to hang out with him and such..." the rest of his sentence died in silence. Averting his gaze to the ground again, he wondered how the concrete could look so immovable, but wasn't able to give him the stability he needed. "Rachel is great," he then spoke again, "but that stupid blond...he makes me feel sick to my stomach." He chuckled softly. "But not in a bad way, which is ridiculous. And...And, I don't know, I feel this urge to be around him or something?"
Sam was surprised. He'd expected Sebastian to at least flinch, or throw his hand off his shoulder or something, but the boy just settled for a weird look. The blond caught his eyes, smiling comfortingly with a slight shrug of his shoulders...although he resisted the urge to squeeze the other guy's shoulder as he would anyone else he was trying to comfort. Sebastian started talking about wanting to 'do' Jeff, Sam's gaze cooling slightly into a more stern form as he listened. "It sounds like you genuinely like him, dude. As in, maybe in more than just a 'bone' kind of way. Did you think about that? My advice?" He exhaled, shaking his head as he ran his fingers through his hair, a little trait he didn't even notice he did. "You need to talk to them. At least one of them. I wouldn't let things get too heated with Rachel if you think you might like Jeff. Before she gets too attached to you. That would be really, really bad, dude." He shuddered slightly at the thought, grimacing across at his friend.
Sebastian winced at Sam's first words, but didn't go against them. After all, he realized perfectly well that they were true; he just didn't want to admit to them. It was scary, creepy, something he had never felt before and he had fought to keep those feelings as far away from him as had been possible. "I have thought about that, yes," he confirmed Sam's speculations, "and it might...it might be true." Watching as Sam straddled a hand through his hair, he remembered how he had ruffled Jeff's and how nice that had felt. "I can't talk to Jeffrey," he instantly responded, "he makes me go all weird and after what he told me, he basically freaks me out." He bit on the inside of his cheek. "But I can't talk to Rachel either. She's been hurt so many times..." he looked back at Sam, "besides, she might kill me."
Well...Sebastian admitted even the possibility of a deeper attraction to Jeff much more easily than Sam thought he would. That was a good sign. But he knew that nothing else of the subject would be anywhere near as easy at that. Sebastian's instant response drew Sam's eyes back up to his face, the blond's own betraying no emotions as he listened closely. "What he told you? You mean, about having a crush on you? It's not exactly his fault, dude. Just as it isn't yours. You like who you like...you know?" He sniffed, his gaze turning to the almost empty courtyard around them; it was nearing the end of lunch, and not the warmest March day Sam could remember. "You can't keep quiet until it's too late, though, Seb. Trust me...that'll make things way worse. I had to deal with all the shit that brings out myself." He replied, cocking his head slightly to the side. "Just...don't let it eat away at you or anything. Breathe, man. And she won't kill you...just like, really badly injure you."
"What do you mean 'before it's too late'?" Sebastian asked with a frown on his face, "too late for what?" Subconsciously, he started fumbling with his fingers. "I /am/ breathing," he fired back, sounding a little harsher then he had intended; a definite sign that he was getting frustrated again. Looking down at his hands, he intertwined his fingers, softly cursing under his breath. "Oh, yes, she will," he snorted. The little laugh released some of the tension in his body and he sat down on the bench a little more relaxed. He stared up the sky a little, the grey not really consulting him. "It's scary," he said after a while, the volume of his voice had gone down to one and he doubted that Sam had actually heard him. Unfortunately for him, he had.
"What I mean is, until something goes down and you like, kiss Jeff when you're still with Rachel or something like that. You know..." Sam quickly responded, looking down at Sebastian's fingers fumbling around each other, the slight tremble in the digits showing Sam what the taller boy couldn't with words. He winced very slightly at the surprise of Sebastian's tone, nodding slowly to show he comprehended as his hand once more rose to brush through his hair. "Hell, it can't be any worse than that poor freshman who got on the wrong side of you this morning, dude." The blond smiled; a small, slight grin to show Sebastian that things were going to be okay...no matter how bad the prospect seemed. Sam leaned back, his arm resting on the bench as he looked over at his friend, a small silence descending over the pair that was softly broken with Sebastian's admission. A dry laugh escaped Sam as he nodded, his eyes dark and solemn, the emerald more of an olive as he replied with just two soft words: "I know."
"We're not all as stupid as you are, Samuel," Sebastian joked, balling his fist and pressing it against the guy's shoulder in a playful attempt. "But thanks...I get your point. Although something like that will probably never happen. I'm too controlled for that," he stated easily. Rubbing his forehead, he couldn't help but smile weakly at Sam's simple response that actually meant so much to him. It had never felt right for the Smythe to feel fear, but someone else confirming on knowing what it feels like soothed him a little. "I think I got with Rachel because it was easier," he decided to make another confession; "a relationship with Jeffrey scares me." He looked back at Sam, frowning slightly. "Do you think that's weird?"
Sam gasped, holding a hand to his chest in mock annoyance at Sebastian's retort, a sly grin growing in the curl of his lips. "Ouch, dude. You're lucky I'm a Brooklyn guy; an Upper East Sider would've taken offense to that." He laughed, winking as he lightly punched the taller boy back, happy to have managed to pull even a weak smile out of the tense conversation. He pursed his lips inwards, sucking lightly on his plumper bottom lip as he listened, before exhaling softly. "Yeah? I can see that." Sebastian frowned, and Sam followed suit, quickly shaking his head as his eyebrows almost knotted together. "Weird? Not at all. If you like him, it's natural to be scared. Especially if you're still new to the relationship thing. But he'd probably be way more nervous than you, which would make you feel better...I think." Sam cocked his head, thinking. "You'll be fine, dude, and I bet it'll all work out. And I'm always here...you know that?" He held out his fist, grinning as he waited for Sebastian to bump it.
Sebastian chuckled at Sam's playful response, shaking his head a little. He nodded at the blond's words, which comforted him. "I guess he is. I don't know," he said thoughtfully, "I don't even know if he's ever been in a relationship or not..." The brown haired guy smiled a little. "Thanks, Samuel," he spoke, "you're probably right. It'll fall into place, or something." He turned to look at the guy, who was holding out his fist in front of him. Seb looked from the emerald eyes to the fist, then back up and frowned. Ignoring it, he got up, shaking his head as he started to walk off. "Have a good day, Samuel..."
Sam nodded firmly, his eyes tilted upwards toward his friend as he shook his fist slightly nodding in its direction. Sebastian looked down, the corner of Sam's mouth twitching but the rest of his face at a perfect impasse as he waited for the taller boy to touch his fist to the blond's own. A moment which, as Sam expected, never came. Sebastian strode off, the other boy chuckling slightly under his breath as he reached down for his bag, slinging it back over his shoulder. "You too, Seb..." He called to the back of Sebastian's head, turning on his heel and heading towards the beckoning warmth of the school's hallways. Sam was optimistic that things would work out. And if not, he was prepared for all Hell to break loose.
A little birdie to told me something about a couple of people going to a karaoke bar. My, my, my, it seem like forever since we've heard our lovely upper east siders belt out a tune.
I hear B.A is included in this little outgoing. I do hope he has a nice voice.
Do you guys remember that one time where a slightly tipsy R.B and K.H gave us a beautiful duet of Defying Gravity? No? Well I do. It was simply beautiful. They voices do blend perfectly together. And you know I am Hummelberry's number one fan. And proud of it too.
I also hear our two lovely it-girls, R.B and S.L are going shopping this evening. You girls should have invited me. I'm game for anything.
Spotted: Earlier today. R.B and K.M meeting up for lunch. Beautiful as always.
