#rtarlsman

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RTARL PRESENTS COLLEGE FOOTBALL TV WATCH EM UPS 2025: Army-Navy, Heisman and bowl season edition

Why the hell is there a bowl game on the same day as Army-Navy? Without even addressing all the tabloid shit that’s happened this week college football is completely off the rails.

RTARL presents the awards for the 2025 season. Oh, where, oh where has all the time gone? Just yesterday I got a notice from google that I no longer have access to [email protected] because I haven’t logged into that account in however many years. Fuckin hell. I couldn’t even find the old group emails to let them know how dead that past is now.

RTARLsman 2025: Arvell Reese, EDGE, Ohio State

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RTARL PRESENTS COLLEGE FOOTBALL TV WATCH EM UPS: Heisman Trophy Week + The Troops

Great week to get really into Hallmark Christmas movies and celebrate whatever the fuck.

The Heisman is probably going to Travis Hunter, which is neat because of the two-way player thing and also because the top overall recruit has, for once, absolutely lives up to all of his hype. It’s also sort of unsatisfying in some way that I can’t quite figure out. I think I just hate the way Colorado plays but I want to give the RTARLsman to basically anybody else even though I can’t find even the weakest justification to do so. Oh, well, maybe we’ll just come back to this after some playoff games. I said MAYBE.

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RTARL PRESENTS COLLEGE FOOTBALL TV WATCH EM UPS 2024: Week 7

Miami is off this week after absolutely stealing a victory from the Berkeley Bears last week so it seems like a fine time to do some RTARLsman projecting.

Really all I have is this look at the nation’s leading rushers so far and what the fucking fuck is going on on the blue turf? Everything about what Ashton Jeanty has on here is absurd. I hope he keeps his pet carry number in this range for the full season because it’s not bad for a WR to average this much per reception. Pretty cool.

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL TV WATCH EM UPS 2024 SEASON: Week 4

South Alabama scored 87 points last week and 48 points this week (Thursday game) and maybe we have an RTARLsman alert. Even if QB Gio Lopez is the nominal star and driving force, Fluff Bothwell is also putting up numbers and he’s named for getting the job done twice. Hard to see what could be better.

RTARL is with Uncommitted I’m not endorsing genocidal democrats while also not supporting Trump. Don’t vote for Trump. Seriously. But also, stop materially abetting genocide(s.) So anyway, that’s football!

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RTARLSMAN WEEKEND 2023

Is it possible that this regular season is already done for? Who was the bestest football man of the year?

That’s right, the RTARLsman is going to YOU THE FAN! to decide!

Wait, no, it’s going to Blake Corum. My two finalists were him and Marvin Harrison, Jr. Since both play in the B1G there will be no ceremony.

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RACING TO AN RTARLSMAN

Big movement in this week’s edition of the RTARLsman poll, including a new #1!

1. Kenny Pickett, QB, Pitt

When he sets national records later today you can say you knew him back when.

2. Beer Drinking Purdue OL, OL, Purdue

Still in the hunt but he’s gonna have to drink more beer.

3. Kenneth Walker III, RB, Michigan State

I think he’s probably a Heisman contender. If he goes for 200 against Michigan and Sparty wins he’s in pretty good shape for an invite to the show.

4. Brennan Armstrong, QB, Virginia

ACC vs. B1G for world domination, right?

5. Tyler Van Dyke, QB, Miami

Poise, charisma and would you look at that we’re out of time for the week.

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MIDSEASON RTARLSMAN RACE UPDATE

Beer drinking offensive lineman is up big right now but this is my third attempt to write this post so don’t expect much else.

Other contenders: David Bell, Kenneth Walker III, Jared Davis, Carson Strong, Malik Willis, some other guys

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RTARL’s 2021 COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON PREVIEW ISSUE

Are you ready for some football? It’ll be back next week (unless you are a libertarian, high school football already started.) There will be exciting new forfeit rules since we’re still mid-pandemic even though we were post-pandemic earlier in the year but it turns out a global pandemic doesn’t end because one country is in a slightly better situation due to vaccines that have reached nowhere close to the requisite saturation of the global populace to make anything more than a momentary blip in infection rates. So back to the football. Week stupid zero will be horrible. But there will be a watch em ups post. Probably. And now that players are getting paid we can all be slightly less disgusted with ourselves for being addicted to this dumb shit. Let’s fucking go!

25 TEAMS

1. Alabama

2. USC

3. Utah

4. Boston College

5. Miami

6. Rochester (probably)

7. Ohio State

8. UCF

9. LSU

10. Texas Tech

11. Washington

12. Case Western Reserve

13. Navy

14. Florida

15. North Dakota

16. Canada

17. Auburn

18. Tech

19. The Bears

20. Villanova

21. Michigan State

22. Hawaii

23. Wisconsin

24. Maryland

25. Syracuse

RTARLSMAN HOT LIST

D’Eriq King, QB, Miami

thank you