Twenty-Three, Just Me | Ru Hui | Trial 3.3 | Re: Eri, Aden, Yumiko
[ TW: panic attack, suicide mentions, manipulation ]
It was almost inaudible, just a huff of laughter, and he immediately knew. He knew he had to stop himself before that could happen. This wasn’t the time. It was never the time in fact, but now especially was when he had to keep his composure. Ru Hui threw his hands over his mouth to try to muffle himself. He needed to stay calm. He needed things to work out, but a heavy stream of laughter trickled through the cracks of his fingers, echoing throughout the room.
“AaaHHaaAHAahHAHhhAhhAH!!!!”
He could only helplessly listen to the forced laughs that were beyond his control. His chest hurt. His sides hurt. Everything seemed to hurt for him. What was going on? Yet again, he was presented with a hopeless situation. He didn’t understand why he was reacting this way. He had never been diagnosed with anything, nor did he ever recall anyone stabbing a knife and wrenching it inside him. He was as healthy as could be, but here he was, suffering. The pain was unbelievable. He didn’t know. It kept happening lately, and he had no idea. Ru Hui wheezed, gasping for air. This was such a treat. Hah! It was okay. He just needed to breathe, get everything back together.
Straightening himself up, the machinist beamed brightly, eyes glazed over and unfocused. He didn’t seem to pay attention to anyone in particular, but he still carried himself with his head held high, words slurring every so often. Still, as jumbled as they were, he kept his speech polite, almost sickeningly formal.
“Lyyying? Narukami-san, it’s what I do. For all you knoow, I lie about eveerything. Is it true? Is it faaalse? I apologize, but that is unfortunately what I do. I am a liar; however, I refuuuse to let you ruin the one mooment where I teell the truuth. I killed Umbriel-san, and you’re the one lying to prootect me. Your bliind devotion is admiraable though. As for the deal? Narukami-san, I am sorry fooor your misunderstanding, but I must correct yoou on the matter. Your deal had a loophole. Yes, you wished for Never-san to leeave Hayashi-san and I alone, buuut, sadly, it does not apply vice versa. I simply remaaade my deal right after yoours, so again, I doo apologize for that.”
He was fine. He just had to chant that mantra over and over in his head, and he could carry on with his day. He ignored how winded he was and the cold sweat beading along his skin. Hey, it wasn’t hot today, nor did he physically exert himself in any way. There was no reason for him to feel like this. Nothing was happening because he was doing just peachy.
“Selfish? It would bee a lie if you do not consider me as such. I am the epiitome of selfishness. Yoou, on the other hand, are seelfless. Look at whaat you’ve done for people. Blankets? Comfort? Everyone knoows juust how faar you’re willing to go. Aaah, and now all your liies will be counted in as well. Ah, apologies if that soounded too harsh. Continuing on, my woords are exactly the same as Eri’s. She knows if only becauuse I told her aheead of time. Remember, I was originally going to geet away~.”
‘Then why didn’t you just kill yourself?’
Though he stared right at Aden, his gaze seemed shifty, as if he wasn’t really paying attention to the other. Aden’s question confused him though. He was trying, wasn’t he? That’s what he was doing right now. He was preparing for the inevitable, and--There was so much anger laced in his words. It took a moment for him to process that Aden meant else wise though.
“That is correct. I did noot have to kill Umbriel-san, Spuds-san, but I diiid it anyway because I am a hoorrible person. You seee, I planned to live after murdering Umbriel-san. I finished my end of the deal, and it was time for Neever-san to uphold hers. I asked, and it tuuurned out that was not the case. Shame. Shame. Shame. Everything caaame crashing down for me, so I needed a waay out. Death’s sweet embrace soounds very tempting to me.”
He blinked owlishly, tense grin still on his face. He glanced between both Aden and Yumiko. Ah, they both asked something along the same lines, so it’d only be polite to answer.
“Spuds-san and Hayashi-san, it is because I care for myself than aanything else. In this household, it would be cleever to… get along, right? I am nooot so callous as to not do such a thiiing. Sure, I caaare not for all of you, but I can stiiill play along. If I get on ceertain people’s goood sides, then they would dooo things for me, riight? Suzuki-san. Kikuchi-san. Furusawa-san. Narukami-san. Aaaall of them. I diiid make some miiscalculations. Who kneew that Narukami-san woould be so adamant about me beeing ‘good’? Shee’s loyal until the eeend with her delusional beeliefs. If Narukami-san liiikes me more than you, Hayashi-san, that is on heeer end, but unfortunately, I doo not shaare the same feelings as she dooes for me. Appareeently, she sees her youunger sister in me, but alas, that sibling haad passed away. It muust be guilt for heer to waant to saave me so deearly since she couldn’t even do the same for her precious siiister.”
That sure was a lot of talking, all done with a smile on his face.
