#ru2h

[dacadaca]

can u link me to that unrequited pining davekat fic please?

here you go!

[hhikarusulu]

jason todd, rob, sourin, fucking turtles jfc, that one time u sent me an eagle who now chills in my room

OMG U STILL HAVE EAGLE OMFG AWWHHHHHHH <3

THIS LIST MAKES ME SO HAPPY

[2x2verse]

Hey John! What lengths would you go to avoid the paparazzi?

EB: i was homeschooled through eighth grade.EB: i didn't go outside for maybe a year and a half after i turned thirteen.EB: when i wanted to hang out with anyone, they had to come over instead of me leaving the house.EB: dad got a protective order and threatened to bankrupt every media outlet in the country.EB: i just wanted to be a normal kid.EB: i only went to high school because dad forced me to.EB: and because by that time they built a set of schools for us.EB: the cherubs went to the academy, i think they might still be there.EB: the trolls had their boarding school.EB: and us kids went to our own school.EB: the security was really good!EB: no one was allowed in who didn't have a reason to be there.EB: so for the most part i went through high school ok.EB: i did a three years out kind of interview at one point and i think that eased the pressure.EB: i still get people at absu who want pictures or recognize me by sight.EB: and it doesn't help that i live with a perpetual attention seeking machine.EB: but for the most part things are much better now.EB: i feel like i have breathing room.EB: and if i notice anyone skulking around, i blow them off.EB: hehe, literally.EB: strike up little whirlwinds and get debris caught in the focal length so all they get is a blur.

[asukaskerian]

FYC!Terezi: how do earth pirates compare to alternia's?

FYC!Terezi: TH3 S4M3 W4Y 3V3RYTH1NG FROM 34RTH COMP4R3S TO 4LT3RN14

4 D1S4PPO1NT1NGLY LOW QUOT13NT OF GR1SLY MURD3R 4ND PROF1C13NCY 1N H4ND TO H4ND COMB4T

1 MUST 4DM1T 1T W4S PR3TTY FUN 4ND 3XC1T1NG 31THER WAY BUT TH4T M1GHT H4V3 B33N TH3 COMP4NY

[curlicuecal]

LB!Karkat: ok ok. ill-founded, but are they wrong? smooth segue here. how accurate were your first impressions of the crew of the Calliope?

lb!Karkat: WHAT WAS THE QUESTION AGAIN? WHY DON’T I FIND ONE COOLBLOOD PATRON TO WHISK ME AWAY AND MAKE ALL MY PROBLEMS VANISH? BECAUSE I’M NOT LOOKING FOR A PERMANENT CONTRACT AND THAT SOUNDS MOTHERFUCKING MISERABLE. AM I MAKING A STATEMENT? POSSIBLY. THE STATEMENT IS: I HAVE OTHER THINGS I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE THAN GET TUCKED AWAY SOMEWHERE TO BE TENDERLY CARED FOR LIKE THE DELICATE YET FREAKISH MUTANT BLOSSOM THAT I AM. IF I WANTED THAT I COULD HAVE JUST LET MYSELF GET CULLED.

IMPRESSIONS OF THE CREW:

YAY, THE CAPTAIN’S GOING TO BE ONE OF THE ANTI-TROLL BIGOTS THAT SOMEHOW ONLY MANAGE TO BE ANTI-EMPIRE AT RANDOM NOBODYS. THANKS SO MUCH, EGBERT. OH, NO, WAIT. OK, MAYBE SHE’LL BE TOLERABLE.

STRIDER’S HATCHMATE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM—FUCKING EMPRESS THERE’S *TWO.* HOW HAS THE UNIVERSE ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN WITHOUT CURLING UP IN MORTIFICATION AT THE ATROCITY?

OH HEY HERE’S SOME MORE RANDOM HUMANS, WHEE.

IS THAT A CHERUB ARE WE ALL GOING TO DIE WHO IS RUNNING THIS MADHIVE.

[curlicuecal]

LB!Karkat: Do you only engage with customers of the same species or is it that most of the political hullabaloo tends to come from other trolls? And hypothetically, wouldn't an official relationship with a coldblood fix all of your misunderstands with other coldbloods? It sounds a lot like you're making a statement rather making it easier for yourself.

lb!Karkat:  ANY SPECIES CAN ENGAGE A COMPANION, IT’S JUST THAT MOST OF THE DEMAND COMES FROM TROLLS.  …LOOK, IT’S NOT A POLITICAL HULLABALOO THING, IT’S A SERVICE DESIGNED TO HELP FULFILL AN INGRAINED CULTURAL FUNCTION FOR THE BENEFIT OF SOCIETY.  NOT EVERYBODY IS LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A MOIRAIL BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN NOT EVERYBODY NEEDS THE OCCASIONAL PLACATING PRESENCE IN THEIR LIFE.  YOU’D THINK A CONCEPT THIS INTUITIVELY EASY TO GRASP WOULD BE MORE UNIVERSAL, BUT I GUESS MOST SPECIES JUST PREFER TO STAGGER ALONG BLIND AND ALONE OR SOMETHING.

ACTUALLY, IT’S GETTING TO BE KIND OF A STATUS MARKER TO HAVE A COMPANION IN ATTENDANCE FOR SOCIOPOLITICAL EVENTS WITHIN THE ALLIANCE,  SO I DO GET CLIENT APPLICATIONS EVEN FROM SPECIES THAT DON’T REALLY HAVE A SOLID CULTURAL GRASP OF THE CONCEPT.  THOSE TEND TO RUN EITHER SURREALLY WEIRD OR COMPLETELY FUCKING HILARIOUS.  SOME OF THEM TURN OUT KIND OF NICE, I GUESS.

AS FOR THE SECOND PART OF YOUR QUESTION, I THINK YOU ARE MAKING SOME REALLY ILL-FOUNDED ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT MY MOTIVATIONS IN LIFE.

[curlicuecal]

LB!Karkat: Wouldn't business be steadier with a homebase in the midst of a glittering metropolitan city?

lb!Karkat:  YES.  AND IF MY GOAL WAS TO GET COMPLETELY FILTHY FUCKING RICH I GUESS I COULD DO THAT.  BUT INSTEAD, HERE I AM, GALLIVANTING AROUND THE BACKWATERS OF THE UNIVERSE WITH THE GOOD SHIP LOONEYBIN.  CLEARLY, I MAKE EXCELLENT LIFE CHOICES.

…ALTHOUGH, HONESTLY, METROPOLITAN COOLBLOODS CAN BE TOTAL BULGESUCKERS AND I DON’T LIKE REGULARS TO BE QUITE THAT REGULAR ANYWAY.  LESS IS MORE.  PLUS IF I MOVE AROUND A LOT I CAN SPEND SLIGHTLY LESS TIME DICKING AROUND PLAYING POLITICS, WHICH IS FUCKING EXCELLENT BECAUSE I AM ALREADY WASTING AN ASTOUNDINGLY LARGE FRACTION OF MY LIFE ON GRUBFORSAKEN POLITICS.

[curlicuecal]

LB!Jane: would you describe Caliborn as harmlessly aggressive?

lb!Jane: …..Nooo, I don’t think one could call Caliborn anything other than aggressively harmful. Sociopathic, even. He is violent, short-tempered, and excessively crude. The list of words he’s not allowed to use anymore is longer than my arm and that’s mostly just down to the misogynist slurs. He does have a certain meticulous respect for rules though. Assuming you can impress any upon him.

You can be certain we got that matter tidied up right off. I can be as impressive as need be. :B