#2x2john

[2x2verse]

To by Too, ch. 24 [johndave]

He’s laughing. Literally rolling around on his mattress from the mirth of it, clutching his stomach and eyes going a little wet as his glasses go crooked. Dave’s small grinchy heart grows three sizes at once knowing that he made John laugh, and he takes off his poker-faced mask to show John just how thrilled he is about it. “Okay, that’s it, tonight’s—” Egbert wheezes— “tonight is officially cancelled. I can’t work like this. This is a hostile work environment, Dave! And this isn’t going to get out of my head for days and I think I hate you now.”

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[2x2verse]

2x2 John: I had roommates in college, and I never once snuggled into their beds at night. Don't you think that's a bit unusual?

EB: is that weird?EB: dave and i used to have sleepovers all the time as kids and we would do that.EB: college is just one big long sleepover with my best friend.EB: it is totally a party but with more existential dread about what am i doing with my life.

[2x2verse]

(If you are still doing these) 2x2 John: how do you feel being the one that everybody wants to date?

EB: i don’t get it.EB: i really don’t understand.EB: why would people want to go out with me?EB: i am kind of a douchebag.EB: to be honest, it is a miracle sol wants to spend time with me.EB: i don’t think karkat wants to date me?EB: he just wants to yell at me a lot for not dating his roommate right.EB: and i think i fucked him up a little bit.EB: dave doesn’t want to date anyone.EB: he is too busy to even spend time with me.EB: plus, we are roommates.EB: if we started dating i think things would get weird.EB: weirder than normal.EB: i don’t think he is interested in something like that.EB: i am ok with just being roommates.

[2x2verse]

2x2 John: What happens when you try to talk to Dave about all these suicides?

EB: all what suicides?EB: oh my god don’t tell me he has been doing the thing again.

[2x2verse]

I imagine sometimes Dave asks John to sing him to sleep. Not with a lullaby or a love song or anything, just with something soothing, a folk kind of melody (John is the low tenor), because Dave's head is too loud and he just wants to rest and if he can hold onto the thread of John's voice he can follow it back to a breath, to something real and solid and present and surrounding him with comfort

Plus, y'know, John has a great voice and he doesn't mind doing favors for a friend and a roommate, especially not when Dave falls asleep like that with his face set honest and serene

[2x2verse]

john: how many times has dave died to date?

EB: if you are asking about the game...EB: it is something i don't like to think about.EB: so i don't know.EB: he used to mess around with it his freshman and sophomore years of high school, but i think he stopped once he turned 16.EB: i hope he did, anyway.EB: it worries me too much.

[2x2verse]

Hey John! What lengths would you go to avoid the paparazzi?

EB: i was homeschooled through eighth grade.EB: i didn't go outside for maybe a year and a half after i turned thirteen.EB: when i wanted to hang out with anyone, they had to come over instead of me leaving the house.EB: dad got a protective order and threatened to bankrupt every media outlet in the country.EB: i just wanted to be a normal kid.EB: i only went to high school because dad forced me to.EB: and because by that time they built a set of schools for us.EB: the cherubs went to the academy, i think they might still be there.EB: the trolls had their boarding school.EB: and us kids went to our own school.EB: the security was really good!EB: no one was allowed in who didn't have a reason to be there.EB: so for the most part i went through high school ok.EB: i did a three years out kind of interview at one point and i think that eased the pressure.EB: i still get people at absu who want pictures or recognize me by sight.EB: and it doesn't help that i live with a perpetual attention seeking machine.EB: but for the most part things are much better now.EB: i feel like i have breathing room.EB: and if i notice anyone skulking around, i blow them off.EB: hehe, literally.EB: strike up little whirlwinds and get debris caught in the focal length so all they get is a blur.

[2x2verse]

Sorry, did I say "or"? I meant "and"!