10.09.'21 09:57 Uhr
When I was younger I had a balcony
right next to my room
and my balcony had a little privacy screen
and a roof
It maybe wasn't the best thing for me to happen,
but I sat there whenever I could,
smoked a lot of cigarettes
and escaped the world
I loved to sit there when the sun shined,
or when it was night
and the stars burned so bright
I loved to write there
and to listen to the pouring rain
No matter if I was alone
or spent some time with my friends
I used to sing there
and sometimes I even danced
It felt like a cure to all my diseases,
I wrote down every word I couldn't keep in
I miss the deep talks and everything
that happened there
I loved every moment I sat on my balcony
- sometimes that was for hours,
and for a long time that may have happened daily
To take a break from my life became
a part of my new routine
In that time I got addicted,
not only to writing and nicotine,
but to the sun, the stars, music and melancholy
I will never forget the feeling
of when it was rainy
but not too windy
The sweet reassurance after an exhausting day
The small steps I made,
from desaster to recovery
Every conversation I had,
and every choice I made,
every dream I dreamt of,
and every nightmare I escaped
I learned a lot of things,
and I'm sure I forgot the most of them
I cried a lot of tears
and forgave myself for the mistakes I made
I found the best friends
I made the best memories
and on top of that I felt understood again, finally
I've overcome pain
I survived floating in a black hole
And if I could now
I would run back home
