free
It started like any other tragic bachelorette story.
One started running and gained a lot of confidence with oneself. Enough to start trusting that she is beautiful. In the midst of it all, walked in a guy- who seemed eligible; and though not quite the deviliciously handsome Professor she was looking for, was charming enough and was ambitious. Someone as hungry as she is to see a change for the better in this godforsaken country. She admired his spirit, she was enthralled by his know-how and most of all; she felt that she can be herself with him.
She was caught by surprise when she realized she liked him a lot on that rainy day where she and a number of others huddled under the gazebo to escape the torrential rain. Holding on to wet purple balloons- she thought to herself- hey, this guy is something. Then of course they had to spend the next few hours driving around town to find this church where he was supposed to deliver a speech at. Tired, hungry and somehow surprised at that moment of charmed she had; she kept her ground. But she started to trust him. He was her confidante, he was her go-to person. They kissed in her car on another rainy night. Then he left the country for 3 weeks. When he returned, it seemed like she could finally be just a girl- tired of being strong, independent, and single- she fell into the abyss of bliss; believing that finally, finally, she understands what being together with someone is like. How it’s like to finally, be liked back. And then the doubts came. She tried to shut the white noise down. She believed him. He’s a good person. He’s nice. He’s working. He’s busy saving the country from the bigots who run it. Only for her to be burned by the truth.
And that is, she was just a sideshow. In the end, she was not chosen.
Tantrum. Anger. Angry texts. Tears, unfortunately. For she believed that she finally could be just a girl. She forgot that she is a woman made not for men. She’s a woman made to be independent, strong, and ruling the world alone.
The agony of realization was painful. But pain demands to be felt.
Pain demands to be felt. She felt all the pain that she can muster and more.
She is a woman. She is a good woman.
She is beautiful.
She is grateful.
She is free.