I made a slow, comforting start. And what I told them about my awakening interest and steady involvement in politics seemed to be normal behaviour, the only thing to do in South Africa! We whites who embarked on protest politics side by side with the Africans, Indians and Coloureds, led a vigorously provocative life. Our consciences were healthy in a society riddled with guilts. Yet as the years went by our small band led a more and more schizophrenic existence. There was a good living that white privilege brought, but simultaneously complete absorpotion in revolutionary politics and defiance of all the values of our own racial group. As the struggle grew sharper the privileges of membership in the white group were overwhelmed by the penalties of political participation.
R. First. 117 Days (1965:116).