#ruya.yaps

[ruya4four]

i honestly don’t even know where to start with this, but i feel like i just need to be real with you guys for a second. lately, looking at my dashboard feels so bad, and i have just been sitting with this overwhelming feeling that i am completely washed. i look back at my older work, the fics that you guys loved the most and my newer ones that hit those huge milestones, and instead of feeling proud, i just feel terrified. it feels like i created this version of my writing that i can’t ever top, and now i am just standing in the shadow of my own past success.

every time i open a blank doc, the words just don't feel right anymore. i find myself second guessing every single sentence, wondering if it’s good enough or if it’s going to be the thing that finally makes everyone realize i’ve lost my touch. i feel like i am running on empty and i don't know what to write anymore. part of me thinks that maybe jumping into a new fandom or hitting those big numbers just put this invisible pressure on me to be perfect every single time, and it has honestly sucked the joy out of the process.

i am so scared to post anything lately. the anxiety of potentially disappointing you guys is actually paralyzing. i know how much you all expect from me, and the thought of putting something out there that feels mediocre compared to what i used to do makes me want to just delete everything and disappear for a while. it is a really lonely feeling because i don't even know how to properly express what is going on in my head. i just feel like i am failing as a writer, and i am so sorry if it feels like i am pulling away 😞

[ruya4four]

seeing all the AI in the avatar x reader tag is so so so baffling. it's so bad for the environment and disproportionately impacts Black communities in the U.S. the most. it pollutes our water and kills our fauna and flora 🙁

guys please stop using AI generated pictures or AI writing for your fics!! it's okay if your graphics aren't aesthetic or your writing isn't up to par!! literally who cares it's Tumblr!!!

please think abt the actual artists on this platform <3

[ruya4four]

hi guys!

although i'm very, very, very grateful for all the support i get, including all the likes, comments, reblogs, i will not be posting/publishing any fics on Tumblr or be active on Tumblr until Tumblr addresses or reverses this reblog update.

I want to be in solidarity with my fellow artists/writers! I understand how important reblogs are to people, as most writers thrive off of interactions! myself personally, i try not to focus on how many notes i get, as that can be very very detrimental to one's mental.

here's a petition you can sign and please fill out a tumblr support ticket with the "feedback" category.

[ruya4four]

neteyam just fell in love with my mii on tomodachi life even though i’ve been trying to get him with aonung or my oc. mind you my mii and him haven’t even interacted once.

[ruya4four]

i just wanted to come on here and say that i am so incredibly thankful for all the support i’ve been getting lately, truly. it actually feels fake that i’m almost at 100k notes already when i only started this blog back in january. the growth has been so fast and i really do appreciate everyone who has stuck around 🥹🩷

but first off, i am in no way or shape condemning people who choose to write this stuff elsewhere, but you are not going to find it here, so please stop sending me requests for it. this isn't me trying to be a puritan or pull some moral high ground card, so please don't take it that way. it’s just that as a writer, i have very clear boundaries for what i’m comfortable putting my name on. i am not going to write content that is misogynistic, anti-indigenous, or anti-black. that means i need you guys to stop requesting things like concubine tropes, sex work au’s, white savior dynamics, or anything that is ultimately degrading to the characters or their cultures.

i am also adding stuff like taming the savage narratives, and certain kinks to that list. tumblr is unfortunately filled with these exact types of themes, and it feels like people have become so desensitized to them that they don't even realize how harmful they can be when applied to stories about marginalized groups. it feels like every other day i see colonialism but make it romantic tropes that completely strip the agency away from the characters i care about. i’m not saying you aren't allowed to enjoy those things in your own time, but i personally cannot read or write them. it’s been really draining to open my inbox and see so many requests that lean into these tropes, especially when they feel so dehumanizing and frankly, quite racist or sexist in their execution.

i’ve always been a firm believer in the "don’t like, don’t read" mentality, but we also have to acknowledge that fanfic doesn't exist in a vacuum. the stories we tell and the tropes we normalize have a real impact on how we view people in the real world. as someone who cares deeply about character lore and cultural representation, especially within the avatar and atla, i want to make sure i’m creating a space that feels safe and respectful. i am tired of seeing exoticism treated like a personality trait used to fetishize black & indigenous-coded characters. it’s gross and i won't do it.

i’m trying my absolute best to stay kind and keep this blog a fun place to be, but i have to protect my peace and stay true to my own values as a writer. i want to get back to writing the things i love, without feeling like i’m being pressured into writing content that i personally don't enjoy.

at the end of the day, i totally understand that fanfic is not that serious, especially when it comes to reader inserts. seriously, i get it. most people just mindlessly consume things to decompress and i’m really not trying to yuck anyone’s yum here. cause i also do write unhinged/freaky shit as well. i'm not the moral police. feel free to unfollow/block me!! please protect your peace!! <3

[ruya4four]

hii my loves, i sincerely appreciate all the support and requests i've been getting, but my requests are currently closed rn </3 i've should've been more clear about suggestions vs requests.

plus i just want to say, i don't post this much usually. what i'm posting, i'm not proofreading and writing on my phone. (my sleep schedule is bad and i just finished my last exam wuifoejfej)

and i just want to say i was highly motivated to write for toph cause i saw 0 fics for her. like... that's dada...

sorry for the rant, i just don't want to let people down aaaaaaaaaaaa

[ruya4four]

hi guys!! i just wanted to hop on and say thank you all so much for all the love and support recently! it truly means the world to me. 🥹🩷

I’ve decided to take a small break from the blog to focus on my mental health and work on building up my self-confidence again. writing is such an important outlet for me and i want to make sure i’m in the best headspace to share it with you all!!

when I come back, i’m planning to write a ton for you guys and finally reopen my asks!! i’m also super excited to officially get started on my actor AU series.

love you guys lots!! see you soon! 🩷✨

[ruya4four]

hi my loves 🫶

I’m very grateful for all the support recently and I’m so so shocked people actually like my silly atla fics!! so so surreal, I’ve been a fan since I was a child!!

but please know that I’m not leaving the avatar fandom, and leaving hate anon messages in my asks makes me really sad. I’m not switching up on fandoms or anything like that, this all started out as a joke

and also thank you for over 40k likes?? i saw the notification earlier and im almost at 2k followers as well?? 😭😭😭

please let me know in my replies or DMs or asks what you guys want to see from me. I feel like these a such huge milestones and I’m just so overwhelmed and grateful 🩷