#rvfael

[rafaelcasalpoetry]

MERMAIDS

ALL HAIL THE MERMAIDS WHO WATCH OVER LOST BOYS WHO WARN US OF PIRATES WHO BREATHE UNDERWATER _ WHO GLARE AT THE WENDYS WHO ASK US FOR STORIES WHO SAVE US FROM DROWNING _ WHO KEEP HAPPY THOUGHTS IN MY NEVERLAND AND GET WHY I JUST FLY AWAY SOMETIMES.

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[rafaelcasalpoetry]

THE PURGATORY OF BOYS

AFTER A FEW DRINKS MOST MEN ARE NOT WHO THEY SAY THEY ARE _ SOMETIMES WE BECOME THE SMILING BOYS OUR MOTHERS MISS BUT SOMETIMES OUR SHOULDERS FILL WITH BLOOD AND WE GET WAR CAUGHT IN OUR EYES _ PLEASE DON’T DENOUNCE US THE SUDDEN BOYS THE HUNTERS WHO DON’T HUNT PROTECTORS WHO CAN’T PROTECT LOVERS AFRAID TO LOVE AND PROVIDERS WHO STRUGGLE TO PICK UP THE CHECK THIS PURGATORY OF BOYS UNSURE WHAT MAKES US MEN _ BOYS OF TODAY ARE JUST LOOKING FOR A FIGHT WE CAN WIN AND BOURBON DOES WELL TO LAY THAT RIGHT ON OUR SKIN _ SO PARDON ME, BROTHER IF EVER I SHOT YOU A LOOK THAT SHOWED MY TEETH PARDON US, LOVE IF WE MADE YOU FEEL LIKE DIPPING YOUR TOE IN THIS BAR WAS LIKE POURING BLOOD IN THE WATER _ WE THOUGHT WE’D BE MEN BY THE TIME THEY LET US IN HERE TO DRINK.

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[rafaelcasalpoetry]

THE FIRST TIME I PRAYED

TODAY I PRAYED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A SMALL CATHOLIC CHURCH IN SAN RAFAEL AT THE END OF A DEAD END STREET. _ I DIDN’T PLAN TO WHEN I WALKED IN NO ONE ELSE WAS NO SERVICE WAS GOING I WASN’T BEING WATCHED I CERTAINLY FELT NO PRESSURE FROM ANY SANCTITY OF THE ROOM OR THE MAN ON THE CROSS THE KNEELERS WERE UP IT WAS AS IF THIS WAS NOT THE TIME TO PRAY. _ BUT I WANTED TO. _ I HAVE BEEN IN HUNDREDS OF CHURCHES HAVE SEEN ALL DIFFERENT SHADES OF CHRIST CRUCIFIED I HAVE WATCHED THE SAGE BURN BEEN HUMBLED BY CATHEDRALS BUILT BY MEN WHO BELIEVED IN SOMETHING THAT MY ADDICTION TO QUESTIONS ROBS ME OF KNOWING BLINDLY. _ BUT I WANTED TO PRAY SO I PRAYED FOR YOU. _ I KNOW YOU BELIEVE GOD IS LISTENING YOU KNOW I BELIEVE THE CLOSEST THING TO GOD THAT I’VE FELT IS LOVE AND I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE MY HEART. HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS. YOU MAKE ME FEEL I AM HOME. MANY FEEL AT HOME IN CHURCH BECAUSE THEY FEEL IT IS WHERE THEY ARE CLOSEST TO GOD. FOR ME, THIS IS WHAT MAKES YOU DIVINE SO I GUESS I JUST PRAYED TO YOU AND FOR YOU AT THE SAME TIME. _ BUT I WROTE THIS DOWN, IN CASE YOU DIDN’T HEAR ME.

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[rafaelcasalpoetry]

SATURDAY NIGHTS

“OK SOMEBODY LET THIS MOTHAFUCKA KNO THAT WHEN I RUN OUTA WORDS START ABBREVIATIN SHIT AND ASKIN QUESTIONS THAT DONT NEED ANSWERIN IT MEANS THAT MATURE ME HAS CHECKED ALL THE WAY OUT AND NOW U GOTTA DEAL WITH A VERSION OF MYSELF YOU MADE THE MISTAKE OF THINKIN DIDN’T EXIST.”

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[rafaelcasalpoetry]

WHEN YOU KNOW

I HAVE SEARCHED EVERY CAVITY OF ME FOR THE GREATEST COMPLIMENT I COULD GIVE YOU SURELY SOMETHING ABOUT HOW MY HIGH IS THE SOUND OF YOUR LAUGH SPOON FED TO ME HOT AS HEROIN HOW I WOULD DIE SMILING WITH YOUR NEEDLE IN MY ARM HOW I WOULD GIVE UP MY LAST MEAL TO LAND KISSES ON YOUR ABDOMEN OR HOW IF MADE TO CHOOSE I COULDN’T TRADE YOU FOR THE SUN I ONLY KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU LIKE A FOOL, MY DEAR AND LIKE A FOOL I BROUGHT NO BULLETS IN MY GUN SO I WON’T JUST TELL YOU I LOVE YOU AGAIN BECAUSE SO DOES THE UNIVERSE AND I AM JUST ONE OF A MILLION BYWAYS IT WILL LAY AT YOUR FEET TO RUN BUT I NEED YOU TO KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU DIFFERENT FROM ANY WOMAN I’VE EVER WANTED FOR I COULD LIVE IN YOUR SHADOW AND BE HAPPY.

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[rafaelcasalpoetry]

GUN AFFAIRS

“YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME THAT I MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE BUT YOU HAVE A BAD HABIT OF SETTING ME OFF WHEN YOU’RE ANGRY THEN COME TALKING LIKE YOU CAN FIX MY FUTURE LOVE, I’VE GOT A PAST YOU CAN’T ROMANTICIZE THE DEMONS OUT OF AND OURS NOW IS NO BETTER I AM LOADED WITH REGRET I HAVE ENDED MEN LIKE YOU I AM BUILT TO BE ALONE AND THAT’S NO CHALLENGE TO UNDO I GET THAT NO MAN WANTS TO HEAR THAT HE CAN’T HANDLE SOMETHING BUT DON’T MAKE ME THE CHURCH YOU PRAY TO I WILL NOT BE YOUR SALVATION I AM JUST A WHORE YOU STRAYED TO I AM FOR LOST SOULS AND LAST RESORTS AND YOU’RE NOT MUCH OF EITHER GO BACK TO YOUR FAMILY PEOPLE LOOK UP TO YOU HOLD THEM UP INSTEAD OF ME LET US NOT BE THE DEATH OF EACH OTHER.”

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[rafaelcasalpoetry]

MACBETH

LIFE LIKE THE THEATER WILL CAST YOU FOR THE PART YOU SEEM MOST FIT TO PLAY IN THE BEGINNING THAT MAY BE A ROLE WITH NO WARMTH OF LIGHT OR TALE FROM TONGUE JUST A SHADOW IN THE CHORUS OF THINGS WHILE OTHERS LUCK LANDS THEM NEARER THE MOB THE JOURNEY TO THE FRONT IS NO ODYSSEY OF DISTANCE BUT RATHER A RIDDLE OF THE SOUL HOW DO YOU LET THE WORLD KNOW YOU WERE BORN TO PLAY THE KING

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[rafaelcasalpoetry]

THE WALK

DON’T DISTRACT THE LOCAL BOY WHILE HE PRACTICES HOLDING HIS CHIN UP SOMEONE MUST HAVE TAUGHT HIM NOT TO LOOK TOWARDS THE FALL WHEN TIGHTROPE WALKING OUT OF ADOLESCENCE THAT A RAISED CHIN KEEPS THE HEAVY WIND BENEATH YOU AND THE FEAR FROM YOUR EYES A BOY WITH HIS CHIN UP IS JUST LOOKING FOR HIS FATHER IN HIMSELF, MOSTLY AND OVER THE OTHER BOYS WHO NEVER HAD FATHERS OF THEIR OWN WHO MAY NEVER BRAVE THAT TIGHTROPE WHO MAY GROW OLD AND DIE WITHOUT THE WISDOM EARNED FROM A FIRM SPINE AND A SOFT HEART IT IS A SPECTACLE TO BEHOLD WHEN A BOY DECIDES TO MARCH ACROSS THE HIGH WIRE OF HIMSELF PLEASE DON’T TEMPT HIM TO LOOK DOWN WHILE HE IS STILL TRYING TO GET ACROSS MOST MEN ARE TERRIFIED OF HEIGHTS AND DURING THE WALK IT DOESN’T TAKE MUCH TO MAKE THEM FALL

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