Alex closed the door to their apartment with a bit more force than usual, the keys clattering loudly as she tossed them on the counter.
"Hey," Casey called from the couch, where she was curled up in sweatpants, a blanket over her lap, the TV softly playing in the background.
She glanced up at Alex, frowning at her grumpy expression "What’s up?"
Alex marched into the living room, clutching a sheet of paper in her hand. "You know exactly what’s up."
Casey blinked, sitting up straighter. "Uh, no, I don’t."
Without a word Alex held out the paper, her lips pressed in a thin line. Casey took it, her eyes flicking down to the columns of text and numbers. It was a breakdown of conviction rates for ADAs across New York. The figures blurred for a moment until her gaze zeroed in on the part that mattered:
Casey Novak – 71%
Alexandra Cabot – 70%
It took a second to sink in. First, a rush of pride warmed her chest. A 71% conviction rate was fantastic—one of the highest in the city. But then the realization hit and her lips twitched into a grin. No wonder Alex was grumpy.
"You’re mad because I beat you aren’t you?" She teased, looking up at Alex, her eyes sparkeling with amusement.
Alex crossed her arms. "I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself."
"Oh, come on. It’s one point!" She waved the paper like it was a trophy. "But... still enough so I win! Scoreboard doesn’t lie babe."
"I hate you." Alex said flatly, glaring at her girlfriend.
"No, you don’t," Casey said smugly, leaning back into the couch.
"You're impossible," Alex huffed, refusing to sit next to her as she normally would.
Casey tilted her head, still grinning as she held out the paper. "Okay but seriously—this is good for both of us. We’re killing it out there. Top of the game."
Alex just scowled, though her eyes softened just a fraction.
Casey sighed, her grin turning gentle as she patted her lap "Come here grumpy."
Alex hesitated, clearly wrestling with her pride, but eventually let herself be pulled down onto Casey's lap. Casey immediately wrapped her arms around her, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I’m proud of you," she said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of Alex’s face. "Even if you’re only at 70%."
"Don’t push it," Alex muttered, though the bite in her voice was completely gone.
"Want me to show you some tricks? Maybe next year, you’ll catch up."
Alex gave her a half hearted shove. "You’re unbearable. I’m this close to throwing you off the couch."
"Sure you are," Casey laughed, holding her tighter. She placed another kiss on Alex’s temple.
Her frown softened a little, though she still muttered, "I hate you."
Casey smiled, leaning closer. "I love you too." She kissed her again, softer this time, her hand running through her hair.
Alex sighed, finally letting her weight rest against her girlfriend. "I love you," she admitted, her voice muffled as she nuzzled Casey's shoulder. "But... I still hate you."
Casey grinned, pressing one more kiss to Alex’s forehead. "Fair enough."
--
*affectionate* this is entirely your fault @commandermonalisa
--
i looked up Caseys conviction rate in the wiki and Alex`s rate is pure imagination for the fun of it
calex and its poor casey trying to drag her drunk wife home
I love the prompt, but I realized I might be a little out of my depth when it comes to writing about being drunk/tipsy. I tried! I really hope you like it!
thank you @habitsandbicycles for kickstarting my brain
Alex had nailed a big case that day, and there was no way Amanda and Olivia were letting her skip out on celebratory drinks. Meanwhile, Casey had decided to sit this one out, opting for a quiet night at home. She spent the evening finishing up some work before calling it an early night.
That peace didn’t last long. Her phone rang just after midnight, and when she saw Olivia’s name on the screen, her stomach dropped.
A call from a detective at this hour? Normally not a good sign.
She answered quickly. “Olivia, what’s wrong?”
“Relax, Casey,” Olivia said, her voice calm but clearly amused. “Alex is fine.”
Casey let out a breath. “What’s going on?”
“Well…” Olivia sounded like she was trying not to laugh. “Alex might’ve had a drink or two too many. Or, you know, maybe a few. I tried to get her to leave with me, but she won’t stop insisting she’s married. She keeps telling me she’s flattered but not interested.”
Casey laughed softly. “Yeah, that sounds like her. She doesn’t get drunk often, but when she does, she gets cute—and a little stubborn.”
“She’s definitely both right now,” Olivia said. “Think you can come get her?”
Casey was already pulling on her jacket. “On my way.”
When Casey walked into the bar, it didn’t take long to spot them. Alex was sitting between Amanda and Olivia, her laughter loud and full of energy. Amanda was animatedly explaining something—probably her latest misadventure on the job—while Alex was hanging on every word, occasionally chiming in with her own colorful commentary. Olivia, clearly amused, was trying to keep an eye on the situation.
The second Alex saw Casey, her face lit up. “Casey!” she called, practically leaping off her seat and stumbling over to her. “Look, everybody, my wife!” She grinned proudly, as if she’d just discovered the best thing in the world.
Casey smiled and wrapped her arms around Alex. “Hey, sweetheart. You’re looking... very happy.”
“I am happy!” Alex beamed, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. “I won a big case, and now I have this gorgeous woman with me!” She gestured to Casey dramatically. “See? Married. Very married. To her.”
Olivia raised an eyebrow and smirked. “We believe you, Alex. No need to keep reminding us.”
Casey kissed the top of Alex’s head, her voice teasing. “Alright, honey, time to head home. You’ve done enough celebrating for tonight.”
Alex immediately shook her head. “I’m fine. I’m not even that drunk. I want to dance!”
Casey’s eyes widened. “You? Dance? You’ve never wanted to dance in your life.”
“Well, I do now!” Alex said, her tone more determined than anyone could’ve expected.
Casey grinned, trying to hide her amusement. “Alright, we’ll maybe save the dancing for home.”
Alex’s eyes lit up in a way that made Casey realize she may have said something that could be easily misunderstood. “Oh, we’re definitely dancing when we get home,” Alex said, her grin mischievous and all-too-knowing.
Olivia and Amanda exchanged an amused glance. Amanda couldn’t help but chuckle.
Casey shot them both a look, half-amused and half-exasperated. “You two are trouble, you know that?”
Amanda shrugged innocently. “Not our fault your wife is so… charming when she’s drunk.”
Casey’s only response was a sarcastic thumbs-up before she gently steered Alex toward the exit, doing her best to keep things from getting even more entertaining.
Alex stumbled slightly as her heel caught on the pavement, but Casey’s hand steadied her before she could go down. The cool night air was a welcome break from the stuffy bar.
“You know, Case,” Alex said, her gaze soft and affectionate, “I don’t tell you enough how lucky I am.”
Casey chuckled, adjusting Alex’s weight. “Oh really? And why’s that?”
Alex blinked up at her, swaying a bit. “Because you’re beautiful. And smart. And patient… especially with me.”
“I’m still deciding if you’re drunk or just sweet,” Casey teased.
Alex giggled. “Sweet, definitely.” She glanced up at the dark sky. “The stars are so romantic. We should walk under them forever.”
Casey smiled but shook her head. “Maybe another time, but not in those heels and not this far. You’ll twist your ankle before we even make it a block.”
Alex pouted, dragging her feet. “But I don’t want it to end.”
Casey sighed dramatically, pulling her close. “Alright, how about this? We’ll take a cab now, but if you behave, I’ll make you a big breakfast tomorrow. Pancakes. Your favorite.”
Alex’s eyes softened, and she couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her face. “Pancakes?” she repeated, “Okay, fine. I’ll behave… for pancakes.”
She paused, looking down at her heels with a wince. “And my feet really hurt, Case. These stupid shoes... so not made for walking.”
Casey looked down at Alex’s heels, her lips curling into a fond smile. “Yeah, they’re killer, but you look amazing in them.”
Alex let out a dramatic sigh. “Glad you like them, ‘cause my feet definitely don’t.”
Casey smiled softly, wrapping an arm around Alex’s waist to support her more. “As much as I love how they look, I want to get you home in one piece more. Let’s take a cab.”
Alex leaned into her with a contented sigh, her head resting on Casey’s shoulder. “You’re just too good to me.”
Casey kissed the top of her head. “I’m just trying to keep you safe. Let’s get you home so we can enjoy those pancakes tomorrow.”
Back at home, Casey guided Alex into the bedroom, gently helping her sit on the edge of the bed. Alex was still talking, her words running together as she rambled about the evening. Something about Amanda’s terrible drink suggestions, Olivia looking like “a majestic hawk” (whatever that meant), and how great it was to have friends.
Casey chuckled as she knelt to slip off Alex’s heels. “Alright, sweetheart, let’s get you ready for bed.”
But Alex had other ideas. As soon as her shoes were off, she tugged on Casey’s hand, trying to pull her closer. “Hey,” Alex said, her voice a little lower and slower than usual. “C’mere.”
Casey raised an eyebrow. “What’s up?”
“You’re so pretty. Like, so pretty. How’d I get you? It’s not fair. You should’ve… run away by now. But you didn’t. You’re mine.” She grinned lazily. “So, let’s… you know… celebrate.”
Casey bit back a laugh. “Celebrate?”
“Yeah,” Alex said, leaning in, her nose bumping against Casey’s collarbone. “You said we’d dance. We could… dance here. Like, really dance.” She tried to nuzzle closer, her words slurring just enough to make Casey smile even wider.
“Alex,” Casey said softly, brushing her fingers through Alex’s hair.
“What?” Alex pulled back just enough to look up at her, her expression caught somewhere between mischievous and needy. “I’m serious. You’re… so hot. I can’t help it.”
Casey cupped Alex’s cheek, her voice warm and steady. “I love you. But not tonight, okay? You’re adorable when you’re drunk, but let’s save the ‘dancing’ for when you can remember it tomorrow.”
Alex blinked at her, her pout returning. “That’s so mean. I’m not even that drunk. I could… I could recite the Constitution right now if you wanted.”
Casey laughed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’m going to save us both from that. Arms up.”
“Huh?”
“So I can get you into your pajamas.”
After getting Alex into her pajamas, Casey helped her settle under the covers. Alex, already drowsy from the alcohol, snuggled into the warm sheets with a contented sigh. Her eyes fluttered shut, but she was still holding on to Casey’s hand.
Casey climbed into bed beside her, adjusting the blankets to make sure Alex was comfortable. She pulled her close and she nuzzled into her chest, her breath warm against Casey’s skin.
"You’re so comfy," Alex murmured, her voice muffled by the fabric of Casey’s shirt.
Casey chuckled softly and kissed the top of Alex’s head. Alex’s breathing slowed, becoming deeper and more even. Her face softened as sleep finally overtook her, and she let out a tiny, contented snore.
Casey grabbed her phone, quickly sending a short text to Olivia, letting her know they’d made it home safely and thanking her for looking out for Alex. Then, she snuggled closer to her wife and soon drifted off to sleep herself.
Casey stood in the kitchen, staring at the shattered remains of Alex’s coffee mug on the counter. A sharp pang of guilt twisted in her chest. It wasn’t just any mug—it was the mug, the one Alex used every morning. White ceramic, with bold black lettering that read:
“Trust Me, I’m a Lawyer. What’s Your Excuse?”
Olivia had given it to Alex years ago as a gag gift, and Alex had laughed so hard the first time she read it that Casey assumed it was special. Over time, it had become a quiet centerpiece of their mornings together.
Every morning, while Alex was still getting ready for the day, Casey would brew coffee and make a simple breakfast. By the time Alex walked into the kitchen, her mug was always waiting, steaming and ready. They’d sit together at the table or lean against the counter, stealing a few moments of calm before work pulled them in different directions. It wasn’t much, but it was theirs—a ritual that grounded them in the midst of busy lives.
And now, the mug was broken.
“Damn it,” Casey muttered, running a hand through her hair.
She swept the jagged pieces into a bowl and stared at them helplessly. Maybe it can be fixed? She pulled out her phone, scrolling through DIY tutorials. But the more she watched, the more discouraged she became. The steps looked deceptively simple—clean the edges, apply glue, clamp it carefully—but Casey knew better. She wasn’t exactly the queen of precision.
Determined to make it right, she searched online for a replacement. But her heart sank as she discovered the mug was discontinued. A few listings showed up on secondhand sites, but the prices were outrageous.
Casey chewed her lip. If she couldn’t find the exact one, maybe she could recreate it. She opened a custom mug design website and started playing with the text.
At first, it seemed easy—just type out the words, pick a font, and voilà. But none of the fonts matched the original. One was too sleek, another too childish. After scrolling through a seemingly endless list, Casey rubbed her eyes and sighed.
“This is hopeless,” she muttered.
Still, she wasn’t ready to give up. She tried again, painstakingly adjusting the font size and spacing until it looked close enough. She felt a flicker of hope—until she saw the estimated delivery time.
“Two weeks?!” Casey groaned. “Seriously?”
Caught up in her spiraling thoughts, she didn’t hear Alex come in until arms wrapped around her waist from behind. Casey jumped, nearly dropping her phone.
“Whoa, hey,” Alex said, laughing softly. She kissed Casey’s temple, the warmth of her lips sending a shiver down Casey’s spine. “Why so tense?”
“Oh! Uh—nothing,” Casey stammered, fumbling to hide her phone screen as she turned to face Alex. Her cheeks burned under Alex’s curious gaze.
Alex tilted her head, her brows knitting in concern. “Casey, what’s going on?”
Before Casey could stammer out another excuse, her phone betrayed her, blaring the chirpy voice of a DIY tutorial: “And with just a little patience and glue, your mug will look as good as new!”
Alex blinked. Casey froze.
Casey groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Okay, okay. Don’t laugh. I broke your mug this morning—your lawyer mug. I was trying to replace it, but I couldn’t find the same one, so… I thought I’d make one. But the fonts don’t match, and it’ll take forever to ship, and—”
Alex cut her off with a soft laugh. “Casey, stop. It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not! It’s your favorite mug,” Casey insisted, gesturing helplessly at the screen.
“Sweetheart,” Alex said, pulling Casey’s hands away from her face. “It’s just a mug. I only kept using it because you poured my coffee into it every morning. It wasn’t the mug I cared about—it was you. And the coffee. Together.”
Casey blinked, momentarily stunned. “So… you’re not sad?”
“Not even a little,” Alex assured her, her eyes sparkling with affection. She leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Casey’s lips. “Although, watching you get this worked up over it? That’s pretty adorable.”
Casey chuckled. “You’re impossible.”
“I’m also touched,” Alex said, smirking. “Though, if you’re designing a new one, I could use a sassier slogan. Maybe something like, ‘I object to mornings without coffee.’”
Casey snorted. “Noted. I’ll put it on the list.”
The wind howled against the window, rain pelting the glass in relentless sheets. Flashes of lightning illuminated the dim apartment, casting fleeting shadows across the room. Casey sat on the edge of the bed, half-dressed, her hands clasped nervously in her lap as she stared out at the storm.
"Hey, you almost ready?" Alex's voice broke through the tense silence as she stepped into the bedroom, adjusting the delicate straps of her elegant black dress. She looked stunning and composed, radiating confidence—everything Casey wasn't feeling right now.
Casey glanced at her and managed a small smile. "Yeah, just need a few more minutes."
Alex's gaze softened as she noticed how Casey's eyes lingered on the dark sky, her fingers twisting together. She walked over and sat beside her on the bed. "You okay?" she asked gently.
Casey hesitated, looking down at her hands. "I'm fine. It's just... the storm."
Alex tilted her head slightly. "Are you scared of thunderstorms?"
Casey let out a nervous laugh. "Not scared, just… uneasy." She took a breath, as if bracing herself. "When I was a kid, I got locked outside during a storm. I was drenched and freezing, watching the wind rage around me. Ever since then, storms have kind of… stuck with me."
Alex shifted closer, wrapping an arm around Casey's shoulders. "Why didn’t you tell me? We don’t have to go out tonight if you’re not feeling up to it."
"No, no, I don’t want to ruin date night," Casey replied quickly, shaking her head. "We finally got that reservation. I’ll be ready in no time." She slipped off the bed and moved toward the bathroom, determination in her steps, though Alex could still sense the lingering unease in her movements.
A few minutes later, Alex followed Casey to the bathroom, where she stood in front of the mirror, carefully finishing her makeup.
"Can you help with the zipper?" Casey asked when she noticed Alex.
Smiling, Alex stepped closer, her fingers brushing Casey's back as she reached for the zipper. Instead of pulling it up, she teasingly tugged it down a bit further. Before Casey could react, Alex placed a light kiss on her shoulder, sending a shiver through her.
"Alex!" Casey laughed softly, turning her head slightly. "You're not helping."
"I'm not sorry," Alex whispered, grinning as her fingertips traced the newly exposed skin.
"If you keep this up, we're going to be late," Casey warned, half-heartedly trying to step away.
Alex leaned closer, whispering against Casey’s skin, "We won’t be late, honey."
"Forget late..." Casey smiled, "we’re not going anywhere if you don’t stop soon."
Alex paused, searching her girlfriend's eyes in the mirror. "I canceled the reservation."
Casey stiffened slightly. "What? But the restaurant! You were looking forward to it so much, and it was hard to get in!"
"It’s all good, Case. I'd rather stay home with you tonight than drag you out into the storm."
Casey’s surprise shifted to realization as she turned to look into Alex’s eyes. "You did this because of me, didn’t you?"
"Because you're what's important," Alex reassured her, gently brushing a strand of hair behind Casey's ear. "We can go another time. What matters is that you feel comfortable. And honestly? I’m not opposed to spending date night right here."
"What about dinner?" Casey asked softly, caught between guilt and gratitude.
"I’m sure I’ll find something sweet to satisfy my appetite tonight," Alex grinned, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "And we can always order takeout later."
"You don’t want me to go out, but you’re willing to send some poor delivery guy through this weather?" Casey teased, even as a shiver ran through her when she felt Alex's hands slide up her legs, bunching the fabric of her dress.
"By the time I’m done with you, the rain will have stopped," Alex murmured, her voice low and husky. "And I’ll leave a generous tip, if that makes you feel better," she added, her fingers tracing delicate patterns on Casey's skin.
Casey’s resistance faltered, the desire in Alex's touch igniting her own. "I’ll make it worth your while," she whispered.
"I know you will, honey," Alex whispered in her ear, gently lifting the hem of Casey's dress over her hips. As her lips trailed down Casey's jawline, all coherent thoughts slipped away. The restaurant, the storm—everything faded. All that mattered was this moment, right here, right now.
Casey knew this night would be unforgettable—and she had a feeling she might just learn to like storms after all.
Alex had already made herself comfortable. It had been a long day, and she was more than ready for a little relaxation, some mindless TV, and a quiet evening with her girlfriend. The lights were softly dimmed, two steaming cups of tea were ready and the couch was a cozy nest of blankets and pillows.
While Casey was still enjoying a long shower, Alex flipped through the TV channels. Reality TV on what felt like every sstation. She didn’t quite understand the appeal of these shows, but she knew Casey loved them to unwind. For now, she could go along with it. Anything was better than the News or the weather channel.
She finally settled on a show where the contestants at least appeared to keep most of their clothes on and sank deeper into the cushions. Leggings and a soft sweater completed the comfort. It promised to be a perfect evening. She was ready to let go and shake off the stress of the day.
A few minutes later, the water stopped. She heard rustling in the bedroom, followed by footsteps. Now genuinely drawn into the chaos of the contestants on screen, Alex only noticed out of the corner of her eye that Casey was aproaching. It took a few moments before she truly registered what she was seeing. When she finally tore her eyes away from the flickering screen, her girlfriend was already standing in front of her, hands on the hips and a mischievous grin on her lips.
„Tada!“ Casey smirked. „So! what do you think?“
Alex blinked, visibly overwhelmed. Her gaze wandered from Casey’s head to her feet. And back up, until it got caught on her sparkling eyes.
„What…?“, she managed. It was rare for Alex Cabot to be speechless.
Colorful!
That was the first word that stuck in her head.
Colorful… and fluffy. And… was that a horn?
Casey chuckled softly when she saw her girlfriend’s expression. Wide eyes, slightly open mouth. It looked like someone had hit pause mid sentence.
„Isn’t it amazing?“ she giggled and spun around once. „Alex! you wouldn’t believe how soft this thing is. It feels like it’s made of clouds.“
Alex raised an eyebrow and let her gaze wander slowly over the colorful, shapeless something her girlfriend was wearing.
From the hood to the feet.
From horn to hooves.
„…more like made of a rainbow,“ she murmured dryly.
The unicorn beamed with satisfaction and dropped on the couch next to Alex with a dramatically contented sigh. Alex gave her a questioning look.
„May I ask what exactly possessed you to buy this… thing?“
„It’s a onesie babe“ Casey replied. „And you can thank Olivia for it.“
„Olivia?“
„Well… I was babysitting Noah the other day. We had a cozy movie night on the couch, just like tonight. And he was wearing this dino onesie. Alex, you should’ve seen him. The cutest little fluffy dino to ever roam the Earth.“
„I can imagine.“
„See? And then I did a bit of research and found out they make these onesies for adults too. And Alex, this one was even on sale. How was I supposed to say no?“ Casey gestured enthusiastically. „And look at it. It’s perfect. And so soft. And so… It was basically fate.“
„A unicorn, Casey?“
"You don't like it," she pouted, her bottom lip sticking out and her eyes widening like a Disney puppy’s as she looked up at her girlfriend.
Alex sighed softly, her gaze flickering over the suit again. It was truly hideous and looked like a rainbow had suffered a plush related accident. There was no way she'd ever wear something like that. But somehow Casey pulled it off. So cute, and so obviously thrilled. Alex loved to see her girlfriend happy.
She also loved catching Casey off guard. Leaning forward slowly she let her voice drop into a teasing whisper as she answered.
„…that’s not what I meant when I said I wouldn’t mind a unicorn in bed.“
Casey froze.
For a moment, she looked like her operating system had just rebooted. Her lashes flutttered. Her mouth opened, then closed again. Then she let out a half choked gasp as the words sank in.
„Alex!“ she squealed, cheeks flushing as she grabbed the nearest pillow and tossed it at her.
Alex caught it effortlessly, a smirk tugging at her lips as she leaned back, eyes sparkling with mischief. "you might want to aim a little higher if you're trying to hit me." she quipped.
Casey’s eyes narrowed, but there was a playful glint in them. "Don’t make me throw another one."
Alex leaned in closer, her voice teasing, "Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?"
Casey shook her head, muttering something about shameless lawyers with filthy imaginations. She tried to snuggle into her girlfriend’s arms, but the unicorn horn promptly bumped against her chin.
Alex couldn`t help but laugh "Ugh," she grumbled, glancing down at the horn with a smirk. "Could you maybe... disarm that thing? It's kind of... distracting."
Casey raised an eyebrow, a sly grin tugging at her lips. "Distracting in a good way, I hope?"
Alex met her gaze, a playful sparkle in her eyes. "Maybe …"
Casey giggled softly as she wriggled and twisted, trying to avoid poking Alex with the horn again. After a few tangled movements and near-acrobatic adjustments, they finally settled into a surprisingly comfortable position.
"There," she murmured, her voice soft and content as she rested her head against Alex’s chest. "Now you can tell me what you really meant by ‘a unicorn in bed.’"
Alex’s hand slipped around her waist, pulling her even closer, her voice cool but laced with intent. "Later," she said with a half-smile, letting her fingers lightly trace along Casey’s side. "First, trash TV. I want to see if these people actually get into a fight over cooking ramen."
When it comes to their daughter's school life, especially when conflicts arise, Casey is the more relaxed of the two. She has this casual, buddy-like way of interacting with teachers and other parents that naturally puts everyone at ease. If a problem arises, she doesn't jump right into it. Instead, she'll chat with the dads about sports or talk to the moms about school events, maybe even field trips with the teachers. Parents and staff like her because she's involved in the school.
This relaxed approach helps break down barriers, making it easier for people to open up and work together. By the time she actually brings up the issue, everyone's already more willing to compromise.
But every once in a while, a situation arises that even Casey can't handle. As much as it pains her, that's when she knows it's time to call in the big guns - Alex. Some people just leave you no choice.
Alex is very factual, friendly, and polite, but she's also firm when she needs to be. She has this amazing ability to lead a conversation in a way that makes even the most arrogant teacher feel small by the end. And she doesn't have to raise her voice to do it. In fact, the quieter she gets, the more dangerous she becomes. By the time she's finished, the other person is not only agreeing with her, they are practically thanking her for the opportunity to rethink their approach.
There's something almost mesmerizing about watching Alex in action. It's like witnessing a master class in diplomacy, but with a razor sharp edge. Casey has seen it enough times to know that when Alex gets that certain calm look in her eyes, it's game over for whoever's on the other side of the conversation.
Together, they make a great team and hope their daughter grows up with a blend of their strengths.
Click. Bright light flooded the bedroom as Casey flipped the switch on her side of the bed.
"Alex!" she whispered, gently nudging the spot where she suspected her girlfriend's shoulder was under the covers. "Alex, are you awake?"
A faint murmur came from the cocoon of blankets. She was ... awake would have been an exaggeration.
"Alex," Casey repeated more urgently this time. "It's important."
"Case ..." Alex's voice sounded sleepy and already on the verge of anoyance. "If you're not dying or there's a fire ..." The rest was lost in the pillow as she stretched and flipped the light switch next to her nightstand.
Click. Darkness.
Three seconds of silence. Peace. Almost enough for Alex to fall back into her well deserved sleep.
Click. Light. Mercilessly bright again.
"So ... did you know that crows can memorize faces?" Casey asked, ominous excitement in her voice.
2:46 a.m., Alex realized as she peeked at the alarm clock with one eye. She immediately regretted opening her eyes. Way too bright. Way too awake. Way too Casey.
She exhaled heavily, sounding suspiciously like someone desperately clinging to the last shred of mental stability.
"Casey, I swear to God ..."
"No! really, listen," Casey insisted, and Alex felt the mattress shift as her girlfriend sat upright.
"They recognize faces. Even years later. And they hold grudges. Like little winged mobsters."
It took Alex a few seconds to process the informatio. Then she slowly turned around, shielding her eyes from the bright light she blinked at Casey. Jittery, wide awake, full of expectation.
"Did a crow look at you funny today?" Alex asked hoarsely.
"I don't know!" Casey blurted out. A little too quick, a touch too guilty. Neither was a good sign.
"Maybe ... Well there was one at the courthouse, and I ... maybe I walked through her group a little … too fast. Not rude! Just ... efficient."
Click. Lights out. Alex turned around. Darkness. Silence.
Click. Casey wasn't finished.
"I read that they teach their children who to hate. Like ... a feathered feud. Over Generations. What if I'm Johnny Sack now, and the Soprano Crow family has marked me as their nemesis?"
Alex groaned into her pillow. "No crow is planning a vendetta against you."
"But what if they are?" Casey scooted a little closer.
"So! Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder? That's not even subtle!"
Click. Darkness.
Alex's voice came muffled from the pillow.
"I'm about to commit one ... on an overdramatic prosecutor if she won't let me sleep."
Click. Light on.
"They mourn Alex. For their dead! They hold real funerals! Or maybe they're investigating what or who killed their friend."
"Did you kill a crow?" Alex mumbled, barely audible.
"No! Of course not!" Casey almost sounded a little offended. Then, after a short pause:
"They bring presents, too. Shiny things. Or dead mice. That's either affection ... or a threat. What if I find a dead mouse tomorrow? Is that a gift or a threat?!"
Alex sat up. Her hair tousled, the eyes narrowed to slits and her voice low and dangerously calm.
"Honey" she said with a resigned sigh, "if a crow really does put a decapitated rat on your windshield then ... we'll deal with it tomorrow."
"But what if tomorrow's too late?" Casey whispered.
Alex flopped back onto the bed with a groan, pulling the pillow back over her head. With her arm she fumbled for the light switch.
Click. Light off.
Click. Light on.
"Plus! They can solve puzzles! REAL puzzles! They practically have their own escape rooms. They think ..."
"... so they're intelligent, petty and vindictive," Alex interrupted tonelessly.
"Exactly!" Casey breathed "They are me. In bird form!"
Alex peeked out from under the pillow with one eye.
"That's the most accurate … and terrifying thing you've said all night."
Click. Lights out. Silence.
Click.
"And magpies! Did I tell you about magpies?"
"CASEY!"
Click.
"Okay, okay! Lights stay off. But ... maybe we should get crow masks. Just to be on the safe side."
No answer.
"Alex?! Are you asleep?"
All that came in response was a muffled, resigned murmur from the pillow.
