so I had a though what if the Barbies and the Kens actually had private parts but actively avoided them (think, using etc)?
Like Barbies do have boobs and you can see that the Kens have nipples. Also dolls - as far as I remember - had panties, craved in, panties.
I believe in the movie they talk about how they don't have genitals. Though, let's say that they do have privates, what would happen?
Also ignoring the second part
Pleasurable Sin [Headcanons]
Yandere! Ryan! Ken x Fem! Reader
Tw: Smut/Nsfw, Masturbation/Jerking Off, Ken has a dick!
🔞18+ Content due to dark and adult themes. Read at your own risk
The Barbies are more sexually aware/have a sexual education
The only reason the Kens don't ALSO have a sexual education is because they don't take it seriously [Also, they're not really getting laid]
There are no diseases, STD & STIs, because there's nothing to give it to them if that makes sense?
They are humanized versions of their doll personas, meaning they have human bodies and need food, water, air, etc
The Kens are very sexual
Your Ken, Ryan, is always touching you and humping you, quite literally
The first time Ken jerked off he had no idea what he was doing
He grabbed the base/shaft and slowly moves up towards the tip. He slowly picks up the pace, which causes him to groan. He really liked the feeling and speeds up. He quickly speeds up when feeling his lower intestine tighten up and then cums all over his hand
He's out of breath and excited with this newfound pleasure
It makes him wonder if you also feel like this
He's completely clueless and thinks you also have a penis
"Well, don't you pull on it too?"
You look at him confused, before laughing at him. He blushes, embarrassed, feeling like a fool."
"We don't have the same genitalia, you know that right, Ken?"
"Of course I do... So what does it look like?"
Once he does figure out what jerking off and how good it is, he does it a lot
When you rub against him, it's like seeing stars
It feels better when you rub him than when he rubs himself
Man will do anything for you to touch him
He's very loud and cries during sex
He'll cover his mouth when your mouth is wrapped around him, because he doesn't want anyone to hear him
Suck him like a lolipop, it's like a treat for him
Barbie Dreamhouse Ken would care about your pleasure
Ken is so excited and sometimes forgets to please you
He moves so fast and energetically
Though, if you tell him, he'll be more cautious, because his biggest fear is you not loving him. So, when he does realize that he's been upsetting/displeasing you, he's scared
While he does enjoy the feeling of being inside you, if you show any discomfort, now that he has eagle eyes on you, he'll be quick to ask what's wrong
He's willing to do whatever you're up for
He's also really easy to turn on
If Boner Alerts existed, his would go off anytime you're near
You don't even have to do anything; You just talk a certain way/Lean into him just a little to far/ You look at him a certain way... Well, it all works and he gets excited
He gets really sad when you say no, but is willing to do it by himself. He'd rather you help him, but it's okay, he'll just use his imagination
Oh boy, does his imagination run wild
Good thing Porn doesn't exist in Barbie Land, because he'd be wanting to do it all with you
While he does love 'Love-making', he doesn't think about it constantly. Sometimes he loves the way you look in the sunlight. You look beautiful when you smile. Your laugh makes his heart beat and his skin gets those goosebumps. A shiver runs up his back when you look at him like he's the only man in the world
There's no one else like you. Yeah, the Barbies are pretty, but you are one of a kind and you're the only person who owns Ken's mind
"Honestly, I've been having a lot of problems with this account. I tried to order some education, some healthcare, and those transactions didn't go through. But genocide? I don't even--I don't even shop there!" 🤣🤣🤣
Ryan is among the incredibly talented people who have parlayed hilarious internet content into paying gigs (including the Emmy-nommed Last Week Tonight, in their case), and you just fucking love to see it.
When Jesus found out that one of his friends was going to betray him, he invited everyone over for a passive aggressive dinner. Jesus was one of the original Real Housewives.
