Yeji starts slow, lazy. The fingers on Ryujin’s stomach grow legs and learn intent, walking themselves across the exposed patch of skin with purpose. Her head slowly drifts up, off Ryujin’s chest, before spelunking into the crevice of her neck and shoulder. It’s an easy adjustment, one that makes Ryujin tilt her head back on reflex alone.
She lives there for a bit, covering the smaller girl like a blanket, before she goes further with her plan.
A swift kiss to her neck and an even faster response from Ryujin – the smallest, slightest of hitches in her breath.
Yeji notices because she notices everything about Ryujin.
She kisses her again, this time transitioning the kiss into the brush and nuzzle of her nose against the skin of her neck.
Yeji feels it in Ryujin’s stomach this time, the small tense and hardening of it before it relaxes.
But she doesn’t let it relax for long. Her fingers cross the boundary of Ryujin’s shirt to the cool skin beneath it. Her nails walk along the pavement of her torso, leaving shivers as footsteps in their wake. Her lips grow more daring, her kisses more forceful, her tongue and teeth joining in as reinforcements on the assault on Ryujin’s neck.
“Yeddeong…”
“Yes, Ryuddaeng?” The last part of her name comes out as a hot breath, causing Ryujin to shudder beneath the feeling.
“What’re you doing?”
A sigh tumbles out of Ryujin’s lips as she collapses onto the floor beside Yuna and Chaeryeong. She’s gripping a bottle of water that she promptly empties into her mouth the moment she’s settled next to her friends. With a sigh, she eases her back into the cool tile beneath her.
She inhales. She exhales. She repeats.
After hours of rehearsal and shooting, they might just finally be done with filming the dance practice video for Mr. Vampire. While waiting to be given the okay to go home, Ryujin does what she can to monopolize this small moment of respite. Head flat against the floor, she tilts it so she can look over to the leader of their group – the only one of them not a sprawled out clammy mess of a person.
A few yards away from them, Yeji is in talks with a few of the JYP representatives present at the shoot. Despite it all, she seems no worse for wear. Her hands and mouth move with the energy of a girl possessed, seemingly oblivious to the fact that it is the end of the day and not the beginning. She bounces with every word and gesture, so much so that even the producers are having a hard time keeping up with her.
Ryujin gets caught staring and Yeji responds by smiling at her the way only she can – with scrunched up eyes and dimples dotting her cheeks. It’s a brief, missable moment that goes away the instant one of the men besides Yeji addresses her, but it makes Ryujin realize one thing.
She misses her.
It reminds her of how far Yeji has come.
How far the both of them have.
It’s 8 years earlier and they’re in the same spot they are now – a hopeless Ryujin staring at a clueless Yeji from the safety of a doorway. She remembers the night her anxious fingers typed out dozens of introduction texts before finally settling on an awkward, if not precocious, inquiry about her age. She remembers the day after, how one moment she was looking at Yeji and the next she had her arms wrapped around her.
Ryujin remembers her name falling from Yeji’s mouth.
She remembers how she started falling for her a moment later.
And then, in real time, she watches Yeji fall right in front of her.
It’s 7:54 AM when Ryujin steps out of the elevator and into the basement of the JYP Entertainment building. Baggy sweats, a loose hoodie, and a pair of worn-out sneakers play the role of her wardrobe for the morning. A well-loved canvas bag hangs over her right shoulder while the two iced coffees in her hands jostle with every step.
When she arrives at the door to the practice room, she pushes it open with her shoulder. Instantly, she’s greeted with the sound of squeaking soles and music. She wasn’t expecting anyone to be there yet – the first rehearsal coming out of a weekend usually meant everyone lagging behind for one reason or another, but it all made sense when she saw who it was.
As always, she finds herself instantly captivated by the sight of Yeji dancing. Her eyes trail down the orange locks pouring out of the black baseball cap adorning the taller girl’s head. A small intake of breath accompanies the bellybutton peeking out from beneath the edge of a frayed white shirt with every pop and lock. Following down a matching pair of sweats – Yeji had thought it’d be cute if the both of them owned the same pair – Ryujin’s eyes land on a pair of sneakers that are even more run-down than hers.
It reminds her of how far Yeji has come.
How far the both of them have.
It’s 8 years earlier and they’re in the same spot they are now – a hopeless Ryujin staring at a clueless Yeji from the safety of a doorway. She remembers the night her anxious fingers typed out dozens of introduction texts before finally settling on one. She remembers the day after, how one moment she was looking at Yeji and the next she had her arms wrapped around her.
But mostly, she remembers everything after that. The gasp coming from the girl at the sudden embrace. The way Yeji tilted her head down to look at her and the way her lips curled and how readily she relaxed into the younger girl’s arms when she realized who she was.
Ryujin remembers her name falling from Yeji’s mouth a moment later.
She remembers how she started falling the second after that.
And then, in real time, she watches Yeji fall right in front of her.
It happens fast – Yeji’s foot hits the floor at a weird angle, sending her body careening down to the rigid surface below – all of it punctuated with a loud thud and a sharp groan.
“Yeji!”
Ryujin doesn’t remember running – she just knows that one second she was standing at the doorway and the next she was kneeling on the ground beside the other girl.
“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” She’s frantic. Words, eyes, and hands launch an uncoordinated assault to figure out what had just happened.
“I’m fine.” Yeji grimaces as she sits up. Her hand goes to rub her hip, the part of her that hit the floor first and hardest. There’s a moment when she’s just massaging her side, as if she doesn’t believe the words she had just uttered, but then she continues on. “It’s nothing, I just–” Her teeth clench and her mouth hisses as Ryujin’s hands reach for the traitorous foot that caused all this.
Ryujin’s eyes widen and the grip around Yeji’s foot loosens just so, making sure to stay secure enough as to not let it fall. “Is it your foot? Your ankle? Is it twisted?” She brings her face closer to inspect for any possible bruising or swelling.
“No,” Yeji shakes her head in response, though a frown is displayed prominently on her face. “It’s just that your hands are really cold and wet.”
Ryujin stops what she’s doing to look down at her. She looks at the two hands cradling Yeji’s foot. Then, she looks back to the iced coffees on the counter that she’s thankful she didn’t drop before rushing over.
Oh.
“Do you think you could help me up now?”
The words snap her attention back to what is going on – Yeji lying not-so-helplessly on the ground in front of her.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” She removes her clammy hands from Yeji’s foot and Ryujin can see her discomfort disappear before her very eyes. “I can probably find someone to help or–”
Yeji silences her by placing a hand on hers and squeezing. “I’m fine, Ryujinnie. I wouldn’t hide anything from you.” She smiles an honest smile and offers another earnest squeeze of her hand. “I just wasn’t being as careful as I should.” She chuckles warmly. “I mean, that’s why we practice, right? So stuff like this doesn’t happen.”
Ryujin doesn't answer immediately. Her heart is pounding and telling her to keep pushing the subject, that this cursory examination isn’t enough and that Yeji needs a CT, MRI or maybe even JYP.
But that same heart is having its strings tugged on by the way Yeji looks at her and holds her. The small scrunch beside her eyes when she smiles brings Ryujin home and the pad of Yeji’s thumb rubbing a familiar spot on the back of her hand makes it feel like it.
It’s that part of her that ultimately wins out.
Ryujin sighs and looks down at the hand on top of hers. Yeji’s is slightly bigger and she likes how they fit against each other. “Okay,” she says with a small, defeated nod. Ryujin flips her hand upside down so that she can weave her fingers with Yeji’s and gives her a squeeze in return. “I believe you.”
Yeji’s smile widens and her eyes scrunch just a little bit more.
That makes it worth it.
Slowly, Ryujin rises up from the floor and carefully pulls Yeji up along with her. The moment they’re both on their feet, she pulls Yeji close to her until their waists are kissing. The hand that was enveloping the other girls tugs it back until it’s resting on Ryujin’s hip, while her other hand snakes around Yeji’s midsection to keep them close. It occurs without conscious intent, the memories in her muscles too loud to say otherwise.
This gives Ryujin another moment with her, one where they trade the panic of seconds earlier for quiet breaths and longing looks.
Her eyes stay as scrupulous as they were previously. However, instead of looking for the odd scuff or scrape that might have possibly marred Yeji’s face, she’s simply taking a tour on the pale expanse she’s traveled a thousand times before.
Yeji’s own gaze is nowhere near as sturdy, her eyes flitting away every now and then due to the intensity of Ryujin’s stare. Her cheeks redden at a particularly embarrassing instance – when Ryujin lingers on the mole near her jaw and parts her mouth to wet her lips.
“It’s not like I landed on my face or anything,” Yeji says, breaking the silence. “I think I’m fine.”
Ryujin looks up from Yeji’s mouth to her eyes and she smirks. “I’d say you look a lot better than fine.” She raises her eyebrows as well, just in case her message didn’t come across.
The rouge on Yeji’s cheeks deepens, accented by an exaggerated roll of the eyes. She pulls back from Ryujin just a bit, just enough so that she can lean back in and bunt their foreheads against each other’s.
“Is that why you came here so early?” Yeji giggles. “To flirt with your unnie?”
The sound of Yeji’s laughter makes Ryujin smile and she loves how she can feel her body vibrate when she laughs. “If I wanted to do that,” she said with a chuckle, “then I would’ve given myself more than 5 minutes, unnie.”
“What do you mean? It’s only–” Yeji turns her head to look at the clock on the wall and Ryujin can feel the air between them grow just a bit heavier. “Oh wow…” Her smile falters. “I must have lost track of time.” She turns back to Ryujin and tries to lighten the mood with another laugh, but all that does is make Ryujin suspicious.
“Yeji.” She’s squeezing the older one’s hand as she speaks. “How long have you been here?” The accusation is hard to hide, so Ryujin doesn’t even try. She knows that there’s no one more demanding of Yeji than Yeji herself, that sometimes what she thinks is best for the group comes at the cost of overworking herself and ignoring her needs.
And Ryujin hates that as much as she loves her.
“Not that long.” There’s no conviction in her voice. Yeji’s a terrible liar, and so she never lies. But that just makes it all the more obvious when she’s trying not to tell the truth.
“You know we have that comeback show next week.” Yeji goes to take both of Ryujin’s hands in her own, as if this is some desperate plea or admission. “I just wanted to make sure I had everything–”
The distinct growl of Yeji’s stomach fills in the rest of her sentence. It says that she’s been here since before the sun had risen. It gives away that time better spent on breakfast was maybe spent on perfecting choreo instead. But most importantly, it reveals that the stumble from earlier wasn’t due to a freak accident or uneven floor, but carelessness.
A sigh tumbles out of Ryujin.
No, not carelessness. That would bely all the hard work Yeji’s done to drill into them how important a good night’s sleep and a healthy breakfast was. This was negligence – through and through.
Ryujin’s not surprised, but that doesn’t mean she’s any less perturbed. Yeji’s looking at her with the slightest lilt in her eyes and tiniest hint of a pucker on her mouth – a sign that she’s sorry for ignoring her own basic human needs, but that it will also totally happen again.
The thing is, if she forgives her now, as she always has, then Yeji will just keep on running herself ragged when there’s a deadline on the horizon and Ryujin is not okay with that. But before she can look into Yeji’s eyes and tell her that she forgives her and that everything is completely fine, the door swings open and reality comes flooding in.
“Morning everyone!!” It’s Yuna, bright and brash and bold. Unlike the two of them, she looks more ready to go shopping rather than dance practice.
Ryujin spares the girl only a quick glance before looking back to Yeji. There was a time when the two of them would’ve flown apart the moment the door opened, but their friends have come as far as they have.
It’s no longer a surprise to see either of them in each other’s laps or with their arms wrapped around each other. And as for anything a bit more intimate than that, they’ve also all learned what it means to knock on closed doors and lock them if need be.
But this time Yeji does pull away. She takes the first chance she can to get out of the conversation she was just in and Ryujin can do nothing to stop it. The switch inside of Yeji’s head flips from “her Yeji” to “ITZY’s Yeji” and Ryujin is left alone in the dark.
“Good morning, Yuna.” Yeji approaches the youngest with a practiced smile and instantly launches into a new topic about the cute jacket she has hung around her shoulders. It does everything it needs to do, leaving Ryujin standing at the sideline by herself.
Absence fills Ryujin’s arms and concern starts to pool in her stomach. She continues to watch the back of Yeji’s head until Chaeryoung arrives and they can all officially begin their day. They start with stretching – though Yeji doesn’t need it – and then go to talk about what their plan is for later. It’s the same schedule Yeji had sent them in the group chat the day before and the same one she talked about over Facetime the week before that.
The entire time, she sees Yeji avoiding any chance she can to look at her.
