#hotd#helaena targaryen#daeron targaryen#daemon targaryen#aemond targaryen
seen from Russia
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seen from United States
seen from Taiwan
seen from China
seen from Poland
seen from Iraq
seen from Maldives
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
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seen from Germany
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@two-bees-poetry, thank you for inspiring me to try contrapuntal poetry. I’ve been wanting to write one ever since I found your page, but spent a lot of time going in circles. I have huge respect for how you manage to do this so well!
Modern Monsters 2: The Kelpie
Me less than 24hr ago: “Don’t expect too many of these to be illustrated.”
Me this morning: spending far too much time on drawing the statue of Wellington in Glasgow for another illustration
Oops.
On to part 2!
The water horse (Each-Uisce in Irish Gaeilge, Each-Uisge in Scottish Gaelic) and the kelpie are often used interchangeably, but do have some differences.
While I’ve used the term Kelpie prominently here, that’s mainly because I think more people might recognise or at least remember how to spell that term. The creature in the poem is inspired by the more vicious Each-Uisge.
Both creatures are shapeshifters with an affinity for water, who like to take the shape of horses and so entice humans to trust them and climb up on their backs. This doesn’t tend to end well for the humans.
Skip the more detailed paragraph below if you’re squeamish…
The Each-Uisge in particular was said to allow humans to mount, only for the unlucky people to find that they had immediately begun to meld to the creature’s back. They would be dragged into the nearby river, where the creatures could tear into them at their leisure and throw their entrails towards the shore. In some stories several people (usually children) would try to ride the “horse” together, with the slowest only managing to get a hand on the beast before it ran off, taking his friends and his hand to the deep with it.
So.
How would this change to fit into the modern world?
Honestly… it’s intelligent, but it’s far more animalistic in lots of ways than some of the other monsters I’m looking at. I think the instinct to hunt and eat in its traditional way would never leave, and that while it would want to have plentiful food nearby, and therefore probably move to an urban centre on the river, I don’t think it would want any humans to know it was living among them.
It relies on attracting people to it then springing a trap, a bit like a carnivorous plant - it doesn’t tend to chase them down, although it does need to be able to carry them off underwater quickly once they’re stuck.
The horse disguise is a bit outdated, though, and the creature quickly learned that people would be much more likely to call in the authorities immediately upon finding a straying horse in town these days, rather than risk getting too close to a half-ton block of muscle and hard bits that could be spooked by a plastic bag blowing past.
Luckily, the lore doesn’t limit the Each-Uisge to only horse shapes, and it’s not hard to find a free space in the e-bike parking ranks.
If you’re ever walking past the river at low tide and spot a bike in the water, just be happy that it’s resting comfortably and probably won’t need to eat again for a while.
See you tomorrow!
Modern Monsters series - more & links to follow
Modern Monsters 1: Dullahan
Modern Monsters 2: Kelpie (here)
Modern Monsters 3: Kuchisake-onna
Modern Monsters 4: Cuca
Modern Monsters 5: Vampire
Modern Monsters 6: Dr Frankenstein
Modern Monsters 7: Frankenstein’s Monster
Modern Monsters bonus: Frankenstein, Monster
Modern Monsters 8: The Scissorman
Modern Monsters 9: Lesser Dragon (Dragonet)
Modern Monsters 9: Lesser Dragon (Dragonet)
The modern world has very little space for giant monsters to roam the land.
If any of the large sapient lizards - the greater elemental dragons, fire and ice drakes, wyverns, wyrms, or any others you can think of - still live today, they certainly don’t venture far from their inhospitable hiding places. Human settlements have encroached too far into the wild edges of the lands. Even the skies and seas are not entirely untouched.
However, just as the more widely-known living fossils like coelacanths and tuataras continue to survive, if one knows where to look, there still remain small populations of dragonets scattered across the globe. They have adapted through necessity to living on the quieter edges where human influence, though undeniably present, begins to fade into wilderness.
Like their larger relatives, these small creatures are sapient and have some influence over the elements. However, these lesser dragons branched off quite some time ago from their more powerful and more intelligent giant cousins. Even the most unusually large dragonets are no bigger than a small domestic cat.
Consequently, their abilities don’t quite match up to dragons of medieval lore.
Dragonets have a level of intelligence roughly equivalent to a young human child.
They understand human languages well but may struggle to articulate themselves fully, given that inter-dragonet communication uses an intricate combination of scents, pheromones, scale colour changes, and elemental flares such as barely detectable atmospheric pressure changes alongside any vocalisations. As a result, they only have so much patience left for polishing up their grammar.
It’s really anyone’s guess whether it’s the brain equivalence to a small child or the genetic link to greater dragons that makes them so temperamental and so keen to hoard shiny things for themselves.
The different populations of dragonets have started diverging into subspecies at this point, with different types showing different elemental affinities.
The pictured specimen’s tendency to leave trails of frost lacing from its path may seem to imply that this type throw ice magic out into their environment, maybe because they love the cold. The fact of the matter is, the opposite is true - they just like to keep warm, and their bodies absorb heat from around them to such an extreme degree that they drop the temperature of everything around them. They are far less snappy and more energetic in the summer when their bodies don’t have to work so hard to maintain their preferred high core temperature.
More than one shrewd hedgewitch has picked up on this, over the years.
The promise of a warm fireside for the winter, along with all the cat food pouches they can eat, has been quite effective in convincing frost dragonets to form a partnership of sorts.
They still need to be treated with respect, and they must have free access to the outdoors, of course; draconians of any size cannot tolerate captivity. However, they can bond with the right sort of humans, and those that do so quickly learn that they rather enjoy a ride in a shirt pocket or on a shoulder when offered.
It is also well-known among such favoured witches that dragonets are surprisingly good with their children, particularly their little girls.
A lesser dragon is still a dragon, after all.
And dragons do so love a princess.
~~~
This time around the picture came first. I just really love dragons, and wanted to dream up a way a pocket-sized one could exist. Once I saw its face, I knew I wasn’t going terribly verbose on the poem this time.
It doesn’t often talk to humans, but it’s trying its best.
I’ve also seen “dragonet” sometimes used to refer to baby dragons, so let me be absolutely clear that yes, I’m using that here as a separate species name, and this is a full-grown adult one ready to fight you for that shiny bottle cap.
I love bearded dragons, so I went straight to that as my baseline for the picture. Which I dedicated far too much time to, as usual, but hey, I’m pretty happy with this one.
~~~
Modern Monsters series
Modern Monsters 1: Dullahan
Modern Monsters 2: Kelpie
Modern Monsters 3: Kuchisake-onna
Modern Monsters 4: Cuca
Modern Monsters 5: Vampire
Modern Monsters 6: Dr Frankenstein
Modern Monsters 7: Frankenstein’s Monster
Modern Monsters bonus: Frankenstein, Monster (it’ll come some day I swear)
Modern Monsters 8: The Scissorman
Modern Monsters 9: Lesser Dragon (Dragonet)
Modern Monsters 6: Dr. Frankenstein
With thanks to the wonderful @purrlockholmesbooks, whose monster request inspired not one, but several further Modern Monsters instalments!
~~~
My brain: Did you realise you have a series of poems regularly featuring the phrase “I am a modern ____” and you haven’t made a single homage to “The Modern Major-General”?
Me: I don’t know if that’s a good-
Brain: GET IN LOSER WE’RE WRITING POETRY
Victor Frankenstein originates from Mary Shelley’s 1818 classic, Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus. The characters, in my view, are a seamless fit for the MM series. You can probably think of multiple other retellings and characters inspired by the scientist and the monster - what else are they, if not part of the folklore of our times?
Keeping it brief: in the original novel, Victor was hardworking, interested in the pursuit of knowledge for its own sake, and later horrified and guilt-ridden over what he had done. A bit obsessive, maybe, but not the typical mad scientist character. His work revolved around animation of non-living tissue by a process never detailed in the book. The monster was constructed from both human and animal parts. Spoilers - by the end, the monster kills its creator and then goes into hiding.
~~~
In the Modern Monsters world, not only did Victor keep excellent lab notes, but his intelligent creation’s guilt drove it to reproduce the process and resurrect its “father”. The reanimator became the reanimated.
Just as for his creature, the process did not bring Victor back entirely as intended. The obsession (and his ego) has only grown, and he has far fewer moral qualms now over using his skills, whether to keep himself alive for centuries, or for the advancement of science for its own sake.
He has moved from country to country under various aliases in the last 200 years to find and work with those who seem to share his passion, including making many two-headed dogs with Vladimir Demikhov and later Christiaan Barnard (before the latter moved on to pioneering heart transplants).
These days, he carries out transplant surgeries both above- and below-board in an English university hospital. Unsurprisingly, the wealthy, powerful and corrupt all find their way to him when their own looming mortality is knocking down their door. He makes a good living, but he still wants to see his work in journals and to watch his advancements change the world on a grand scale.
Unfortunately for him, the modern era comes with rather less maverick-ery accepted in research. He swears these nitpicking ethics committees will be the final death of him.
~~~
Well, that got long.
REC= Research Ethics Committee, HTA = Human Tissue Authority, and HRA= Human Research Authority. Terms that medical researchers in the UK are likely to have encountered at some point…
The illustration is a mishmash of some of the typical Frankenstein-inspired mad scientist aesthetic, with a deliberately off skin colour. He can’t find his preferred style of lab coat anymore, but for some reason this dress shirt really called to him.
Silly mouth is silly. I imagine “curse youuuu” was uttered.
~~~
Still just in time for Monday here in the UK! I will try to have the next instalment, the Monster itself, up tomorrow if possible, but if not, stay tuned.
I’m happy to keep making these for as long as I’m inspired and anyone’s interested, so, requests/prompts will still be welcomed well after the pumpkins have all gone to compost.
~~~
Modern Monsters series
Modern Monsters 1: Dullahan
Modern Monsters 2: Kelpie
Modern Monsters 3: Kuchisake-onna
Modern Monsters 4: Cuca
Modern Monsters 5: Vampire
Modern Monsters 6: Dr Frankenstein
Modern Monsters 7: Frankenstein’s Monster
Modern Monsters bonus: Frankenstein, Monster
Modern Monsters 8: The Scissorman
Modern Monsters 9: Lesser Dragon (Dragonet)
Modern Monsters 5: Vampire
I don’t think I necessarily need to do a lore drop about what a vampire is… nor would a vampire struggle to adapt to (un)living among people in the modern world. They were human themselves, once, and to be around for a while, they’d have to be pretty adaptable. There are plenty of vampire stories where they move near-freely among human society, just keeping the feeding part secret.
However.
After multiple media franchises about dangerous-yet-sexxxy vampires, our modern vampire has noticed some people were just making it weird.
Too weird. Kind of puts you off your meal, honestly.
He does however have a much better ability to identify blood vessels running under the skin than your average healthcare professional, can lift immobile bodies single-handedly without risking back injury, and never complains about back-to-back night shifts, so the local hospital’s emergency department is very happy to have him on board.
Happy enough to look the other way when he brings his own reusable cup into the room alongside the usual vacutainers. They’d be happy to give him a few of the sampling tubes for his drinks, if easier, but he doesn’t like the taste of anticoagulants.
This is all after appropriate discussions with the patient and signed paperwork to prove it, of course.
After all, one thing he has definitely learned from exposure to the vamp-chasers is the importance of full informed consent from both participants.
~~~
When I started thinking up the poem for this one, my mind was full of “ethical vampire” examples where a vampire lives off animal blood or blood bags because they just can’t face harming a human. It’s been done. But maybe there are other things that could put them off their food, like disgust at the sensations, the taste… or the behaviour of their donor.
Then I sat down to draw something and realised, shit, Helluva Boss kind of already did that angle.
So yes, the picture is a very deliberate homage to Blitz’s deeply-uncomfortable Kermit face.
In theory, this is the last one for now. (EDIT: Clearly I was wrong.) I have other stuff I should be doing, and I don’t have any further monster poems pre-written, so I can’t keep up with the current pace of daily illustrated posts.
However, I am really enjoying this whole concept, so who knows.
If there’s a monster you’d like to see featured in the future, feel free to drop an ask or comment - I’ll do my best to do it justice.
~~~
Modern Monsters series
Modern Monsters 1: Dullahan
Modern Monsters 2: Kelpie
Modern Monsters 3: Kuchisake-onna
Modern Monsters 4: Cuca
Modern Monsters 5: Vampire (here)
Modern Monsters 6: Dr Frankenstein
Modern Monsters 7: Frankenstein’s Monster
Modern Monsters bonus: Frankenstein, Monster
Modern Monsters 8: The Scissorman
Modern Monsters 9: Lesser Dragon (Dragonet)
Modern Monsters 4: Cuca
Okay, I’m going to stop saying anything about having no time for the art side of this since every time I complain I spend even more time fiddling with the next one:
Cuca (or Coca, Coco, Cucuy…) is a monster originating from Spain and Portugal and which spread to many Latin American countries. “Cuca”, from Brazil, refers specifically to a female monster, but there are male versions too.
In short, Cuca is a classic boogeyman figure to threaten your children with. She is always watching (from the rooftops!), and loves to steal and eat naughty children, so do what you’re told right now young lady, or Cuca will come and eat you!
In the world of Modern Monsters, the big change for Cuca is how much more everyone hovers around their children these days. She can’t just snatch and eat a naughty kid any time she gets hungry - not for lack of misbehaving children, but for lack of access.
However, modern childcare is in short supply and costs a bomb, especially if your children are a nightmare to deal with, and some parents were desperate enough to try unorthodox options.
Cuca has just adapted her traditional role slightly. Parents always used to use her to make their children behave anyway - now her role is just a little more direct, and in exchange for a living wage.
She actually earns very well now, having gradually picked up a Supernanny-like reputation for improving the behaviour of even the worst of the worst. Partly the traditional threat, of course, but she’s been observing children for centuries now - turns out she actually understands what makes them tick far better than any human anticipated.
Cuca has never failed as a nanny yet, but she might not be too broken up if one day she does come across a truly irreconcilable brat she can’t “fix” with her softer methods…
… she rather misses the taste, sometimes.
~~~
When I started thinking about a visual for the supernatural woman who has a thing for rooftops and steals children away, Mary Poppins immediately came to mind.
So, you get a picture of Mary Poppins with Cuca’s crocodilian face. Or Cuca in a Mary Poppins costume. Whichever works for you.
~~~
See you tomorrow!
And if there’s a monster you’d like to see featured in the future, feel free to drop an ask or comment - I’ll do my best to do it justice.
~~~
Modern Monsters series - more & links to follow
Modern Monsters 1: Dullahan
Modern Monsters 2: Kelpie
Modern Monsters 3: Kuchisake-onna
Modern Monsters 4: Cuca (here)
Modern Monsters 5: Vampire
Modern Monsters 6: Dr Frankenstein
Modern Monsters 7: Frankenstein’s Monster
Modern Monsters bonus: Frankenstein, Monster
Modern Monsters 8: The Scissorman
Modern Monsters 9: Lesser Dragon (Dragonet)
Modern Monsters 3: Kuchisake-onna
I’ve got to stop illustrating these istg I should be doing other things with the time
anyway, enjoy:
Kuchisake-onna is generally described as a malicious spirit in the form of a tall woman with her face partially covered - typically by a mask - who carries a sharp object such as a knife or scissors.
She asks those she encounters whether they think she’s pretty. Say no, and she kills you; say yes, and she will remove her mask to reveal her mouth is slit from ear to ear - how about now? Is she pretty now?
A no to that will, again, get you killed, while a yes will get you mutilated as she makes you pretty just like her. There are ways to escape her, such as distracting her, preying on her politeness, or saying she’s “average”.
In the Modern Monsters world, Kuchisake-onna is a savvy lady who hasn’t had to make a monumental effort to adapt.
Other monsters might have attachments to nature, or a need to stay hidden away from humans, but her tradition has always been to walk the streets and interact. A masked face, particularly during cold and flu season, doesn’t get too much attention when she feels like people-watching.
In keeping an eye on beauty standards, she has noticed the rise of aesthetic interventions over the years, and the shift in questions she gets from the people who try turning a question back on her when she asks them if she’s pretty:
“Do you think you’re pretty?”
“Do you think I’m pretty?”
“Is anyone pretty, these days?”
Nowadays, she’s changed her MO.
People come to her, she asks them (in more words) whether they think they’re pretty, and when they say no, she alters their face with various sharp objects…
… and they say thank you.
~~~
This is the only non-rhyming poem in the series so far: for this Japanese monster, the poem is in haiku format and the illustration loosely refers to the ukiyo-e art style.
If there’s an extra syllable somewhere I apologise, I’m chronically tired and my five-year-old can count better than I can some days.
~~~
See you tomorrow!
And if there’s a monster you’d like to see featured in the future, feel free to drop an ask or comment - I’ll do my best to do it justice.
~~~
Modern Monsters series - more & links to follow
Modern Monsters 1: Dullahan
Modern Monsters 2: Kelpie
Modern Monsters 3: Kuchisake-onna (here)
Modern Monsters 4: Cuca
Modern Monsters 5: Vampire
Modern Monsters 6: Dr Frankenstein
Modern Monsters 7: Frankenstein’s Monster
Modern Monsters bonus: Frankenstein, Monster
Modern Monsters 8: The Scissorman
Modern Monsters 9: Lesser Dragon (Dragonet)
