Samuel shifted uncomfortably in the creaky wooden chair, the busy environment doing nothing to help calm his anxiety. Looking around the cafe he could no longer recognise the small beautiful town he originally stumbled upon, ever since the news about Johnny being injured, nearly to death, he could now see cracks in Wrenbury’s facade. As he lifted his drink with a trembling hand he couldn’t help but worry about the safety of his husband Jasper, what if they were next? Can we even trust the residents living here? What if something happens and they have no way to contact each other? Samuel silently curses at the town's lack of attempt to join the modern age, shifting once again with nerves, Samuel looked over and couldn’t help but notice the only other person alone in the cafe was sitting at the table right next to him, “Um..e-excuse me, do you happen to know, uh the.. the person who was injured? Johnny Lewis?” Samuel said cringing at the sound of his shaky voice, everything was normally easier when Jasper was around to do the talking.
Hey look, it’s SAMUEL LEWIS! he’s a FORTY-ONE year old originally from PARK CITY. I heard he’s pretty PANICKY, but I think he’s so DOTING at the same time. While he’s terrified of being harmed, he’s perhaps more afraid of people finding out HE WAS MARRIED TO A WOMEN WHEN HE BEGAN HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS NOW HUSBAND. He had no idea what he was getting himself into when he moved to Wrenbury ➸ james ransone, gay, male + he/him.
TW; Homophobia, abuse, mental illness, death.
➸ Samuel was always a paranoid, anxious child, however, he could also be incredibly funny and sarcastic, he’d use his words as a means of protection but also to keep his true self hidden. Samuel used those personality traits to survive growing up in the small town located in Utah, Park City was notorious for stomping on anyone who expressed themselves differently and didn’t conform to society's expectations. While the town was swamped with narrow-minded people, the worst one that Samuel dealt with on a daily basis was his own father (his mother never being present due to her dying during childbirth) if he wasn’t being abused on what he was wearing or his interests he’d be listening to his father use an unforgiving amount of harsh vulgar words directed towards the lgbtq+ community, in particular gay men. While dealing with the extreme amount of internalised homophobia influenced by the town and his father, Samuel continuously spent the majority of his life at a mental war with himself always feeling he was broken and a lost unfix-able case. But there was happiness in his childhood, while the adults were horrible Samuel had a group of 5 that he could call his friends, even in the present time. Never knowing what he was truly feeling, scared to explore it, Samuel unconsciously harboured a burning crush for his fellow friend Jasper, each day growing stronger and no matter who he met or who entered his life, no one mattered as much as Jasper.
➸ Since becoming a teenager/young adult his father's pressure on him became worse, more constant, harsher, he spent every second desperately keeping an act up terrified that if he let it slip for a moment everything would be over for him and he would be torn away from what matters most to him (Jasper). The line that Samuel created that kept him thinking Jasper only as a friend was rapidly fading, scared that Jasper would find him disgusting and leave him, leading up to him graduating from college, Samuel made the rash decision to move far far away to Florida, from everyone, start new, scared that this part of himself that he has been keeping hidden since young would be revealed. Though he tried to convince Jasper to come, he was unsuccessful, leaving an upset Samuel feeling like he was physically tearing his heart into pieces, leaving so much unsaid and lost.
➸ In desperate attempts to keep the past buried and forgotten Samuel tried his hardest to move on with his life, start on a clean slate, he wouldn’t become one of those people his dad would talk about. It was soon he found himself marrying a nice woman named Emily, continuing to live a lie. The marriage was far from perfect, no love or communication, his wife still barely knowing Samuel or his past at all. Samuel when he should have been thinking of his wife always found himself thinking of Jasper, he always wondered what could have been, feeling like he lost him forever due to his own rash decisions. With unexpected news about his father's passing, Samuel found himself back in the place it all started. The world of lies Samuel built for himself began collapsing around him, the biggest fear/threat in his life was now gone and when he came face to face with the only person he has ever loved or felt anything for, Jasper, who never left Park City, in a flurry of emotions he made a instinctive move on Jasper, in his wildest dreams he never expected Jasper to reciprocate his feelings, without a second thought Samuel divorced his wife so he could move in with Jasper and begin a life he always dreamed of deciding that he’d been keeping the wrong part of his life buried, he swore and oath to himself he’d never mention his previous marriage for the fear of hurting Jasper or him leaving.
➸ Despite being happily married Samuel still struggles to fully let the world see the true beauty of his personality, while accepting his sexuality he’s still scared to hear other peoples negative opinions. He’s still a paranoid stress head unless Jasper is around to give him confidence. Once knowing Samuel you’ll see that he truly cares for the people he trusts and only ever wants to be accepted, he is fiercely defensive of the ones he loves but will struggle to defend himself. You’ll either catch him as a shaking ball of anxiety or a soft baby boy flushing furious shades of red influenced by his crazy lovable husband. He secretly loves musicals and if he has any sort of alcohol he becomes extremely flirty and careless.
➸ Favourite song is ‘Can’t help falling in love” as it was the first song Jasper preformed to Samuel and the song they did their first dance (at their wedding) to as a married couple.
➸ Disclaimer: I really want to emphasise that Samuel has only ever loved Jasper, it has ever been Jasper since was young, he is the only one. He tried to deny it and bury with lies, but his love for Jasper is limitless and eternal.
