ARADIA: sollux lets do it! SOLLUX: what. ARADIA: the corpse party! ARADIA: theres no better time and there are so many corpses here to work with ARADIA: is everybody ok with that? do you want to have a big corpse party? ARADIA: we can incinerate the remains in the sun it will be just glorious
No, don't!
Now, don't get it twisted - I can appreciate Aradia's passion for all things necromantic. But those corpses can be prototyped, and if Nanna can be brought back after thirteen years, our deceased trolls will definitely still be Kernelsprite-ready after a measly three, decay or no decay.
So - we have seven corpses, and four kernels. That's assuming, of course, that the Alpha Kids don't have anyone to resurrect themselves.
As much as I want Vriska to come back, I couldn't seriously argue in favor of using our limited resurrection slots on the murderers of the group. Let's assume, then, that our actual options are Nepeta, Equius, Feferi, Tavros and Sollux.
These five trolls are innocent, and should be given equal priority - but there are only four slots available, and that's a cold hard fact. If I had to exclude one troll, I'd probably nominate Sollux, a Doom Player who seems particularly at home here in the afterlife.
To be honest, what we should actually do is ask Aradia to locate each of the trolls' ghosts out in the Furthest Ring, and see which of them want to be turned into Sprites. We've dragged ghosts back against their will before, and it didn't go well.
ARADIA: rose! ARADIA: can you please explain to my friends what a human funeral is like? ROSE: Of course. ROSE: I would describe it as an occasion marked by a great deal of jubilation at the expense of one or more well dressed cadavers. DAVE: hahaha oh god ARADIA: i couldnt have put it better myself ARADIA: could you go into more detail?
I genuinely can't tell if Aradia is deliberately playing along with Rose's bit here. On reflection, I don't think she is - she seems too sincere for that.
ROSE: Well, in my experience, a loved one, typically an elder, arranges to have the departed placed in a small box, and then forces you to stand in the rain all day. ROSE: Then, presumably winded by all the deeply ironic catharsis, she gets drunk and passes out on the couch. DAVE: oh my god we are never going to stop fucking with each other are we
Needless to say, this is amazing. The potential of all these new dynamics really is limitless.
SOLLUX: will y0u co0l it on the c0rpse party shit for a minute? ARADIA: whats the matter? SOLLUX: i mean, everyb0dy here has just met, and i guess just went through a l0t of really heavy bullshit, d0 you think that maybe this isn't the best thing t0 harp on right n0w?
SOLLUX: not everyb0dy is as into death as y0u though. like, it's c0ol t0 see you s0 excited about s0mething, i'm seriously thrilled ab0ut that.
Even in her worst moments, Aradia wanted Sollux to be happy - and even in his worst moments, Sollux always returned the favor. Despite his crabbiness, he really is thrilled right now.











