#s31 ep5

[survivorjunk]

Oh your mother was sick? Well my grandmother died. And I also lost an aunt. And by the way, I had an injured knee. Abi needs a monopoly on the tribe’s attention. If everything’s not all about Abi, how does she even know she exists? When nobody supports her campaign for Victim-in-Chief, Abi adopts the same tactic as every other floundering candidate – she goes negative. Abi accuses Woo of being emotionally manipulative. If that’s not the pot calling the kettle manipulative, I don’t know what is. You have to give Tasha so much credit for the way she placates Abi. You can see the conscious effort it takes for Tasha to stop her eyes from rolling all the way back inside her skull.

[survivorjunk]

You have to repeatedly remind yourself that these people aren't in your life forever, that they're just transient bit players in the heroic story of You. Being forced to exclaim "I'm not here to make friends" is basically an acknowledgment that you are. The first person to ever utter those words on television, as Spencer pointed out last night, is actually our tribemate, Kelly Wiglesworth. It's a phrase that has unique resonance in Survivor, a game based on building alliances. When you're freezing and starving together in the wilderness, you simply can't build voting blocks purely on cold-blooded strategic calculation. You vote with the people you trust.

[survivorjunk]

Spencer, on the other hand, is here to make friends. Whether he's boating or he's voting, all Spencer wants is to connect. Spencer in some ways is Abi's emotional opposite. Where Abi can't control her overflowing id, Spencer is self-consciously emotional. He's like Haley Joel Osment in AI, a robot who just wants to be a real boy. I can attest that Spencer was extremely emotionally open at camp. He often talked about his girlfriend, his family and his personal aspirations. But how deep should your friendships be? It's a delicate balance.

[survivorjunk]

She told Kimmi that she wanted a girl's alliance, not realizing that Kimmi was close with Jeremy and me. Monica also came to me and suggested a "big move" – which could only in context mean voting out Jeremy – without realizing that he and I had a budding bromance.

[survivorjunk]

My only reservation with the vote was that we didn't tell Wigles or Spencer what we were doing. Jeremy was adamant about keeping them in the dark; he wanted to keep them nervous and fearful. And keeping people in the dark is the safest way to ensure that nothing goes wrong.

[survivorjunk]

My biggest fear was that I thought we were due for another tribe swap. I was terrified that I would end up on a tribe with Savage and Joe and be blamed for betraying Bayon. Savage would never believe that steadfast Jeremy or loyal Kimmi could have turned on one of our own. I was somewhat placated by the fact that Monica had always been at the bottom of the Bayon hierarchy. But I "joked" with Jeremy that if there were a swap, and we were separated, he had better yell over to Savage that I was a decent human being. Furthermore, Spencer was too good an ally to vote out, and even Wiglesworth seemed a part of our cohesive new Bayon unit. Monica could be a greater danger down the road.