𝒾𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓂 𝓈𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝒾𝓃 𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓈𝑜𝓃
or three times you pushed steve harrington away, and the one time you let him stay
s4! steve harrington x mayfield!reader
summary: as steve's ex-girlfriend and current co-worker, he was fully aware of all the shit life had thrown at you over the past three years. he's never been able to get you to open up; not when you were together and certainly not now. so what happens when your cold disposition cracks, and steve finds the pieces of the person he fell in love with? inspired by 'from eden' by hozier word count: 2.2K cw: requested! gn reader, ambiguous ending, hurt/ some comfort
Tensions at home were a little high. Neil had fled town, probably fled the state, and your mom now worked two jobs to sustain a semi-normal life for you and Max. It was a weird time for the Mayfield family. Mom wasn’t around nearly as much. Max had started her freshman year of high school, and here you were, ready for another shitty Saturday shift at Family Video. It didn’t bring in much, but it brought in enough extra to cover groceries or bills if Mom was short that month. It also didn’t help that you were also working part-time with your recent ex, Steve Harrington.
It was a muggy, grey late-September morning. Hugging your windbreaker closer, you took another hit of the cigarette as the familiar maroon Beamer whipped into the store parking lot. Steve stepped out, swiftly running his fingers through his already mussed-up hair. Yet no matter how many times he seemed to mess it up, his hair always seemed to fall perfectly into place. An annoying little detail you first noticed when you met him two years ago, yet it had grown into a familiar sight.
“Sorry for the delay. My alarm…” He tossed you a smile that begged forgiveness while carding through his key ring. There was still a touch of tiredness in the gravel of his voice.
You simply shrugged your shoulders, tossing the cigarette butt to the ground and crushing it with the toe of your shoe, “ ‘s fine, Keith knows you’re the one with the key anyway.”
Steve finally unlocked the door and held it open for you. His brown eyes flicked over your frame in concern as you moved inside, “I thought you quit smoking.”
“Just bummed one of my mom,” You called back as you shrugged off your jacket, “Don’t sound so concerned.”
While you made your way to the front counter, Steve was only a few steps behind, “But I am concerned for you— I mean, for you and Max. Between moving and school. Plus, it’s been three months since Bill—”
“I really don’t need a Steve Harrington pep talk right now,” You swiftly cut him off, the familiar Mayfield glare halting him when he attempted to continue.
Steve swallowed down his words, brown eyes falling to the floor. You couldn’t tell if it was discernment or disappointment, but you didn’t care to find out. He just nodded and tried to brush it off, “Right, I’m gonna go get everything turned on in the back.”
He prodded into the inventory room, leaving you to set up shop for the day.
— — —
October came, and with it, the first winds of the cold. Your mother’s drinking habits had become progressively worse. Max had freshly dumped Lucas and shut herself off from the world, while you were just trying to coast through your senior year of high school. Homecoming was around the corner, and you made a pact with your little sister to stay home and watch Top Gun instead. It was better than being stuck outside in the bleachers, watching the popular athletes and their girlfriends flaunt their idealistic relationships.
It was Thursday night before the big game. Robin had begged you to come at least watch the marching band’s halftime performance. You explained to her that while you would love to come support her, you and Max had plans. When she couldn’t convince you, she simply thanked you for covering her shift at Family Video tonight while she had band practice. You brushed it off, merely explaining that you need the money anyway.
You’re working with Steve that night, and it’s surprisingly dull for a Thursday. Usually, you’d have at least a family or two, maybe some young people picking out a date night flick, but this evening had only presented a series of returns. The most excitement you had was some asshole knocking over a cardboard stand-up when you informed him that Family Video did not have an adult section at this location.
“I’m just saying that we could probably close, like, thirty minutes early and everything would be fine,” You attempted to convince Steve while shelving a stack of returns.
Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes, “No, it would be just my luck that Keith or some customer comes by and we get caught.”
“Wow, you’re losing your rebellious teenage flair,” You smirked in his direction and shrugged, “Fine, I’ll just leave you to it. Punch out for me when you leave.”
You started to take off your uniform vest and make your way to the backroom. Steve slid around from the counter and blocked your path, “Why are you so eager to get home?”
“I like being home,” You shrugged in reply.
Steve’s brow furrowed, “Uh, yeah, right. You’ve never been a homebody, Mayfield.”
“Well, I’m just tired. Long day,” Your tone had a slight trace of defensiveness in it that Steve immediately latched on to.
He crossed his arms over his chest, clearly not convinced, “So you and Max are just planning to be hermits forever?”
“What?” You scoffed, “Don’t sound so ridiculous—”
“Cut the crap,” Steve held his ground, “Lucas told me all about how Max broke up with him when he came over to practice for basketball tryouts. And then I had to find out from Dustin that you dropped out of the Yearbook Committee.”
Your posture straightened at the silent accusation in his voice, “So you’re using the party to spy on Max and me? Don’t be such a stalker.”
“Yes, because we’re worried about you two,” Steve’s frustration boiled over, his large hand raking through his hair, “I’m worried about you.”
You steeled yourself, eyes cutting down to the ground as you remained nonchalant, “Yeah? Well, I don’t need your pity or your worry. We’re fine, Steve. I’m fine.”
With that, you brushed past him to exit through the back and biked home.
— — —
November had been the worst month. Mom nearly got a DUI, while Max had pulled entirely out of any extracurriculars. You were trying to forge a path ahead, a way out of Hawkins, which meant all your free time was spent on college applications. The school counselor and admins seemed to coddle you and Max, and it irked you in different ways. Ms. Kelly told you that it was okay to consider a gap year and that it might be an easier transition to stay in Hawkins and find a full-time job. You, however, thought it was bullshit.
“I just can’t believe that she thinks that I can’t go to a nice college away from this hellhole,” You seethed to Robin and Steve while rewinding another tape. You didn’t tell them everything, but you didn’t mind confiding in them with the little things. “I’m not holding out for Emerson or Notre Dame, but I could at least get into Tech. Any idiot can get into Tech.”
You missed the way Steve’s stance stiffened. Robin tossed him an apologetic look because she knew you hadn’t met it like that. It was supposed to be just a statement, not an attack on Steve.
While ignorant of their silent conversation, you ejected the tape from the machine and returned it to its sleeve. You swirled around in the chair, quite a few tapes in your arms, “Like, what does she want me to do? I don’t want to take a gap year, only never to leave Hawkins. I mean, who in their right mind wants to stick around here after graduation?”
Without a word, Steve dismissed himself to the break room. You shot him a look of confusion, eyes shifting to Robin once he was out of sight, “Is he on his period?”
Robin smacked her hand over her forehead, “Mayfield… I need you to rewind and think about everything you said in the past five minutes.”
Your brows knitted together in contemplation.
“Wow, you really— okay,” Robin sighed, and gestured towards the door Steve had left through, “You totally just back-handed Steve.”’
“What? No, Robin, c’mon,” You huffed but thought through your earlier sentiment, “I didn’t mean it like that. It wasn’t supposed to be an insult to Steve. He’s figuring out what he wants from life. I know that I want to go to college.”
The remainder of the shift held a strange tension. You didn’t know whether to apologize or simply act like the whole thing never happened.
— — —
December was uncharacteristically quiet. Mom had told you and Max that she would be working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for the overtime pay. Max informed you that she wasn’t in the spirit for decorating, or shopping, or anything really. At this point, all your college applications were completed, and you didn’t have anything else but work to occupy your free time. You accepted every shift offered whenever a co-worker mentioned spending the holidays with their family or wanting to go ice-skating or stare at Christmas lights. The only downside was that it meant more time with Steve and his own persistent silence…
It was a quiet Thursday night, and the same night as the Hawkins Tree Lighting, which meant zero customers. You were unsure why Keith simply refused to close shop early, but you didn’t press him. If you had to be stuck with Steve for another agonizingly slow hour and get paid for it, then that was just what you were going to do.
You were in the Kids section, placing tapes back on the shelves while Steve remained at the counter. He continued to click through the tv channels, refusing to put on another holiday flick after the last one finished. You swore he was at least on his third rotation through the channels.
“What are you even searching for?” You finally broke the silence, your irritation reaching its peak.
Steve sighed and leaned back against the countertop, “Hmm, I figured that the tree lighting might be on the local news.”
With a roll of your eyes, you marched back over to the counter, “We live in Hawkins, Steve. Channel four doesn’t drive out to hick-ville unless there’s a crime, a conspiracy, or both.”
He shot you a glare from across the counter, “Well, sorry for trying to bring a little joy to your shift. Do you even remember what that is? Joy, fun, happiness?”
Your brow furrowed at his jab, “Yeah. I do. But there hasn’t exactly been anything to be happy about lately, has there?”
Steve scoffed and turned the TV off, “Huh, sure. But you’ll get an acceptance letter from some fancy college soon, and just leave the rest of us idiots behind. Probably just run right back to California.”
Your posture straightened as the subject reverted to your frustrated rant from the previous month. You swallowed down your guilt, just hoping to make it through the conversation without fanning the flame, “I didn’t mean it like that, Steve. You… grew up here, and you like Hawkins, most days. I was forced to move here with my mom, and her shitty new husband, and his shitty son…”
Clearing your throat, you pushed yourself to continue, “It’s never been about going back to California or leaving Hawkins, I…”
Steve heard the crack in your voice and instantly knew you were trying to apologize and bridge the gap between you. He quickly rounded the counter, but stopped just a couple of inches from touching you. He didn’t want to press his luck. So he waited for you to continue opening up.
“I want to live without this… anger. Ever since my parents started fighting, I’ve just been so angry every day,” You hand shook as the words kept pouring out, “It got worse when they divorced, worse when my mom met Neil, worse when we moved here, worse when Billy died, worse when I cut you off, worse with Max shutting me out; it just keeps getting worse and I’m starting to wonder if I even deserve better.”
Sometime during your little rant, your shaky hand latched onto Steve’s for stability, rather than the counter. Your eyes trailed up to meet his, where he looked completely prepared to whisk you out of Hawkins himself. He remained silent while pulling you against his chest and into a tight hug. And somewhere in that silence, you felt tears prick the corners of your eyes before burying your face into Steve’s chest, allowing them to flow freely.
He could’ve hugged you for five minutes or five hours. Time seemed to move differently when his large palms rubbed soothing circles against your back, “You deserve the world and more. You deserve every drop of love and more. You deserve to feel peace. You deserve happiness…”
Your face nuzzled against the scratchy fabric of the green Family Video vest, drying your cheeks. A small sniffle escaped you, cracking Steve’s heart open a little further. With a tremble in his bottom lip, he continued, “And… I still want to be the one to show you happiness… to give you some semblance of peace.”
A sentimental smile teased at the corner of your mouth. You cocked your head to the side and released the breath you were holding, “I don’t know if I can give you the same things.”
“That’s okay,” He quickly replied, “I don’t need you to be perfect or at your best. I just want you back. That’s enough for me.”
His words sank in, but you knew that they were more desperate than truthful. He didn’t realize that there would still be trouble ahead, where you shut him out again. Still, you didn’t call him on it. Instead, you rested your head against his chest once more, hugging him closer — your silent answer.
a/n: so like... would a part two interest anybody? 💋