#sad pie

[misforgotten2]

The percentage of pumpkin found in canned pumpkin pie mix? Zero! Apparently pumpkin isn’t all that tasty so they use Boston marrow squash and/or Golden Delicious squash.  Either way I find it icky.

[thirdsisfics]

Cheer Up, Pumpkin: A Pie Recipe

Take the vanilla ice cream out of the freezer to soften and preheat the oven to 425.

That should buy you a few minutes. Go stand outside and  gaze melancholicly at the rain. Bonus points for bringing your phone and playing a song from the mopiest time of your life. I used Michelle Branch's "Goodbye to You" but you van sub in whatever you have on hand.

Break 2 eggs into a large bowl. Beat them with a whisk until they're a happy, mocking shade of yellow. If you're vegan, maybe don't do that. But you probably have your own egg substitute, right? You seem like you've got your life together. This probably ins't the recipe for you, Vegan-With-Their-Life-Together. 

Add 1 can of pumpkin, 1/2 cup sugar, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp cloves, 1/4 tsp nutmeg, 1/2 tsp ginger,  and 1 tspcinnamon to the bowl and mix well. I swear to god, if you just dump "pumpkin pie spice" in instead of measuring out your own, I will find you and give a withering glare. Withering, I say! *spices can be adjusted to taste.

Add the now soft pint of ice cream.

Stir. When all the colors and textures have blended, sigh heavily. It's time.

Take the crust out of the fridge. The one the one you prepared on a better day when you forgot the recipe made double.

Roll the crust out. Really roll your frustrations into this crust.

Place the crust into a 9 inch pie pan. trim the edges of the crust and crimp if you're feeling fancy. Save the little bits you trimmed, we'll make those into some fun shapes later.

Pour the pumpkin mix into the pie tin slowly. I say slowly because here is where you'll find out if your 9 inch tin was really 8 inches. Because of course everything you depend on lets you down in the end.

Gently place the tin into the oven. Cover with foil lest the crust burn. set timer for 15 minutes.

Crush the extra pieces of pie dough in your hand. Feel powerful for a moment. 

Roll the dilapidated ball into a nice neat circle. use a knife to cut whatever shapes you like: leaves, hearts, ghosts, tombstones. You know, just whatever you're feeling.

When the timer goes off, reduce the heat to 350.  Bake for 40-50 minutes. 

Realize it's time to move on.

In the last 10 minutes of baking, add the cute little pie crust shapes. When the pie is as done with this sit as you are, take it out of the oven.

Let cool completely.

Have a slice.  Remember that it's not all bad.  Reconsider leaving all your loved ones behind to start a new life. You can stay. For now. After all, you can't leave while there's still pie to be had.

[wwjend]

Venting.

I just need to get this out because I’m so frustrated and this is so very petty that I’d rather type my words than say them. 

I got new glasses a week ago and they have been nothing but a source of frustration and pain. I ordered the exact same frames as my old pair, just brown instead of dark blue. I was so happy to get my glasses because my eyes are getting old and I really needed this new prescription.

I picked up my glasses, they did a quick look at them on my head and sent me on my way. Two days later I went in for an adjustment because they were slipping off my face. I asked them to make the end of the arms (correct word is temple, but that sounds weird) bend in toward the back of my head. Instead, their correction was a sharp bend downwards. No matter how I explained what I wanted, they kept coming out of the backroom with the same result. I’m not good at confrontation, nor am I good at repeatedly asking for what I need without feeling like a nuisance, so I left.

Two days later, in much discomfort, I return for another adjustment. Again, a sharp turn down in an L shape, but now my glass lenses are crackled because they applied heat to the frames the wrong way. So! Now it looks like there is grease smeared all over my lenses while I wait for a replacement AND the arms are still cutting into my ears, so they are pretty much crap at this point. Not to mention, I felt like absolute dog shit because I had to point out to the lady who adjusted my glasses that she just made a $400+ mistake that needs to be corrected. Yay! new glasses.....not so much.

[callmebliss]

Two peas escaped from my chicken pot pie, so before I put it in the oven I let it have a face. I don't think it wants to be eaten.

[freakbob67]

I am so lonely 😔 I keep getting in talking stages where the other person doesn’t want a genuine relationship like I do. Either they just wanna flirt & be sexual, or they use me for emotional intimacy while saying they’re not ready for something real. It is so exhausting :( it’s my own fault for letting them in my heart. I need to be better about keeping people at bay unless they want the same things I do

[stridingsquids]

Y’ever find an exquisite piece of music, only to discover that the ~15 minute, 3-song EP from 2018 that it’s on is the only album that band has ever released? I want more!!

[secretsofgsb]

need attention :(

[nopalit0-blog]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh