Human!Castiel: It will be alright
Pairing: Human!Cass X Reader/Y/n
Pov: Cass
Warnings: sad, death of a loved one, fluff, feeling alone
Summary: Cass helps the reader through her mothers passing. “Cass what am I supposed to do?” “From what I remember your mother as a wonderful heaven waiting for her.” “I bet so!” “she loved you, She still loves you.” Her heaven is all about you, baby.”
Word Count: 1,445
Masterlist
Tag list:
Being a human is definitely an odd feeling. Emotions, hungry, a want, and a need. My now internal monologue with myself, and the war inside my head with my thoughts.
Maybe it was normal to say Y/n, but I had gone from being an angel to now, something that I had sat and watched for eons. It was an honor and alarming that I was human.
Now before I had my grace taken away in yet another fight. Y/n and I were together, an angel and human. Not that it was an outlandish relationship, it was just something that was unknown of.
I had fallen in love with Y/n hard, and fast. Her caring personality, amazing words, and entrancing smile. I fell for her mind, and then her body, but that’s not the point.
Y/n had always been close to her mother. Before I had ever met Y/n there was a point in my immortal life that our paths crossed. Of course Y/n, nor anyone knew I was there, but I saw her relationship with her mother. Their loving relationship like no other I had ever seen.
They spoke of Y/n’s childhood memories, of which I had the feeling that they both wanted to go back to. Of course both wanted to go back for different reasons.
Her youth radiating off her body. I silently watched her, and I fell for her. An odd case of coincidence. When I found out she was actually a hunter, her mother though had never been a part of that side of her husband's life. Y/n’s father taught her everything she knows now, and of course now since her and the Winchester boys have met. Y/n is such a fast learner, she grasps to something and she thrives in it.
Y/n had her mother connect was stronger than anything that I had ever seen. Even after coming to live at the bunker she still talked to her mother even with Dean saying that it would be too dangerous.
She’d talk to her mother during a hunt, keeping her updated on her health, and even ours. Her mother was greatly excited to find out that y/n was dating, according to Y/n her mother stated this. “I’m glad you’re dating the softer one out of the 3 of those boys. I can just feel that he’s good to you.”
When Y/n told me that her mother had said that I was still an angel, the notion that someone thought I was soft was a little offended. But after Y/n told me what her mother said yet again when I was human, it was a different feeling.
A feeling of being proud, a feeling of matter. A feeling that I was making my partner happy. She’d write her mother, send countless letters, Y/n would send what she said were ‘gifs' and some 3 second animated photos. Y/n would also send postcards from every town we visited and write little poems on the back.
She’d drive to her mothers to just sit with her for 45 minutes before having to leave to one back home. Y/n would do anything for her mother, but some things you can’t fix.
I wasn’t able to tell Y/n that her mother was sick, since I wasn’t an angel I couldn’t honestly feel that anymore. Her mother was getting sicker, worse by the day.
The thing about Y/n’s mother was that she... she had said she was ready “Y/n, you’re safe now, I know that. It’s okay if I go and be at rest with your father. “ She had said to her daughter one time she was visiting.
We had ended up having a few hard weeks of hunt with the Winchester boys and it forced Y/n to not be able to go to see her mother. And in that time her mother had ended up passing.
Like I said before her mother was pretty much Y/n’s everything, her whole world. And in the moment that Y/n had found out that her mother had passed on, it was crushed.
It was hard watching her melt into my arms. I couldn’t do anything to help or fix that issue, I couldn’t fly over and fix her wounds. I couldn’t fix Y/n’s wounds either. That was something that time was going to have to fix on it’s own.
Y/n is the strongest person I had ever met, she could walk through a hurricane and come out standing. I hadn’t seen Y/n anything like this though. Her normal booming voice was gone, instead it was replaced with a quiet shy demeanor.
One evening after a quiet day, Y/n and I lay in bed. The silence had consumed our room. She lay staring at the bedroom door, a blank expression upon her face. “Baby, talk to me?” I asked.
I was worried, it had only been a few weeks since her mother passed and she was still mute. Her silence killed me. My hand lay on her back in a comforting way I hoped.
After a few minutes of silence I placed my chin on top of her shoulder, I needed her to know that I was here for her. At this point she didn’t need to forget that.
She slumped into my chest, her breathing rapid and short. “First you need to breathe, and then we can talk, or we can just lay here together.” I stated. I felt her shaking her head, and dipped down to kiss the top of her head. We sat for what seemed like a few minutes before she moved her body, lifting her head and placing her chin on my chest.
“Cass what am I supposed to do?” She said a hiccup coming through her throat. “Honey, I don’t know what you are referring to.” I said, it was probably the wrong thing to say, but I didn’t want to assume we were talking about one thing when we weren’t. “About my ma Cass.” Y/n said.
“Baby, we are supposed to live life. We live like she is still here, you have to.” I said. Y/n smiled, it was shallow, and quick, but still a smile. “I don’t want to, I want my mother back.” She said as a few stray tears fell down her cheeks.
“I know, but that’s not how it works.. at least anymore. You know that if I was an angel still I would have done everything and anything to save your mother right.” I said making sure she knew just how much her mother meant to me as well.
“You know I know you would have done anything for her, and for me.” Y/n said her hand went to whip her tears away. “ From what I can remember your mother had a wonderful heaven awaiting for her.” I said trying to remember her heaven.
Y/n looked up at me with a confused look “What do you mean.” She asked. “I’m going to tell you a story now. This was when I was still an angel. But this is how I met you, how I fell in love with you. Our paths crossed, and when I saw your relationship with your mother, it was so amazing. A relationship that was all based on trust, and love was contagious and it only made me want it more. So I kept an eye on you from heaven. I watched and tried my best to keep you safe. I had also looked for information concerning your mother and her heaven.” I said
“Now this is how heaven works, everything you love and want is there, now that is ever changing but your mothers was always about you. Whether it was about your 8th grade graduation, or your senior prom, or even when you got your first job. Everything was ever changing from you to you. Her heaven is beautiful.” I said. My arms clasping around Y/n’s frame.
“I bet so. I just really miss her. I wish I could say I love you one more last time.” Y/n said her smile falling short of happiness.
“You know she loved you baby? She still loves you.” I said pulling her frame into my body and hugging her closely and tightly. And that when I felt a smile against my chest. “I love you know that right, Cass?” She asked and I slightly nodded.
“Her heaven is all about you, baby.” I said trying my best to calcify everything I had said previously.
Completed: 01/22/2021
