#saga-senpai

[nekoiiz]

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi - Chapter 26

[imagine-the-free-boys]

Omg this is the first time I read all the posts, they are so sdfghjk omgg ;o; congrats on the success of ur new blog!! ;w;

Omg, thank you, babe ❤  I love you so much! 

I’m really excited, because I have more than 100 followers right now and I don’t know what to do (and it’s been just a single day since I opened the blog!), I never expected that people would like my job this much! But this makes me happy ;u; 

Thank you, beautiful people following! ❤ 

[g-i-r-l-404]

[g-i-r-l-404]

[k-uros]

my perfect uke.

And you're my PERFECT seme, Senpai!~ ♥ 

[little-ritsu-blog]

'Forever'.

That day, a friend from my class called me out after school hours.

I stood in stunned silence as she broke down crying and hugged me close; saying that she needed a shoulder to lean on for a bit. We weren't particularly best friends, but I knew that the inevitable had happened in her family since she had talked about it before... So I just hugged her and whispered:

"I'm sorry."

I wonder...is it because human relationships are fragile that we need obligations or reasons to protect them? 

Her parents had tried their best to hang on for her and had joint ownership of their house, bank accounts and much more. They have been going strong for so many years, losing their feelings for each other bit by bit and allowing obligations to hold everything together. Yet like a broken mirror, their relationship can't be repaired; the ugly cracks will be seen each time they reflect upon it.

I cried too, but my tears were selfish. I wasn't crying for her but for Saga-senpai whom I knew was suffering all this while and who will still suffer from now on.

I was also frightened...

"Forever" is such a long time. The recent breakup has made me realize that obligations and things that tie a couple together can still be broken if time (or distance) steals their feelings for each other.

I want to be senpai's pillar of strength. I want to believe that it's possible for us to have a happy ending.

But what if I'm not strong enough? Or if one day, he decides that someone else can be that pillar of strength he needs?

Is this 'forever' we've always talked about, in actual fact just meaning "till the end" or "for as long as we last"?

This hard and slightly muscled body can't bear Saga-senpai children...nor can I marry him. Even if I were adopted into his family to change my surname, I'd only be his younger brother in name and not his husband. (It's really asking for too much, isn't it? I understand, but I'm so childish and stubborn that way...) I won't look good in a dress like a girl and I'm so awkward around him...

Without obligations and diminishing feelings, how long will we last?

When I think about it, I get so scared that I start shaking.

But he's never here to hold me anymore because recently all I've done is make him angry or upset. Saga-senpai has also not touched me since the day he left.

I want to see him, but I don't know what to say. 

It feels as if "forever" is coming to an end. 

[gold-on-ice]

“I keep telling you to open your mouth when we're kissing.”

[gold-on-ice]