Aug 10, 2016
Text: Wes? You awake?
Text: Yep! HOW ARE YOU?! I MISS YOU!!
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Text: Wes? You awake?
Text: Yep! HOW ARE YOU?! I MISS YOU!!
F2F: He clutched to her tighter and she didn't shy away, even if it bordered somewhere along pain. If she could give it, she would, Wes one of the few people she'd give everything to. Anything she could, she'd give it. "Always here for you," she murmured, clutching him closer, pulling him into her with no regard to the sand that surrounded him. There was no greater truth; even if she was half a world away, she'd come back to him for this, to be there. "You'll be okay," she whispered.
There was a feeling of comfort and safety with Sage being there. Even if Wes completely unaware of the depths of his pain that was pouring out of him this night because of how his mind began to shut down in a manner of protecting himself from the break becoming too severe, Sage’s words that he’ll be okay was all he needed in that moment. He needed someone he loved and trusted completely to hand that security back to him, the one he suddenly realized he lost with Chad no longer being with him. Wes was so exhausted, the emotions running through him all day, the tension and stress, then him breaking down had taken a toll. His eyes were heavy and now that he was in the calm after the hard cry, they started to close. She played with and stroked his hair just like his mother did and it pulled Wes right into a safe sleep on the beach where they were.
F2F: He said nothing and so she didn't again, the hand that wasn't locked tightly in his brushing down his hair, gently wiping away his tears. Sage understood and she didn't, but the important part was that he was hurting. Her heart was divided and Wes had a piece of it, even if she didn't know how big of a piece he held, still he did - he was hurting and so she was, leaning over to press a kiss to his temple. "I've got you, Wes. I'm here," she repeated quietly.
It seemed that when she reminded him that she had him, that she was there, that Wes somehow moved closer and held her tighter. In some ways she was life support at the moment, the water holding up the ship, and his heart was literally beating for her. She held it, that was for sure, the truest friendship and a love between them that he was no longer understanding. Though that wasn’t in his head at the moment, but he felt it. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he murmured.
F2F: She'd never experienced loss like his, but there was one thing she was sure of - if Thorn had been ripped from her tomorrow. "You're not without him. Maybe not in body, but in your memories, and your heart. Just because he's not here doesn't mean that he's not still a part of you. You're not doing anything without him." Any piece of him she could stroke, hold, touch, remind him that he wasn't alone, she reached for. "I'll let him know I'm here. It'll be okay, Wes. Somehow, it will."
Her touch was soothing and Wes fall slowly falling into some kind of catatonic state. The words spoken with love and care still reaching his ears but the rest of him seemed to be shutting down, like the mind frozen in the middle of a trauma. Wes was locked and staring at their hands, taking in just how hers fit inside his. He swallowed thickly, like honey was stuck in his throat and nodded slightly at her words, she was there and it would be okay. Wes just kept picturing Chad’s face and that big bright smile, trying to avoid the images stuck in his head on how he left this world. So violent and bloody, in a state of terror, and that was what he had kept so locked away. Afraid to feel or deal with that. He blinked and squeezed his eyes shut a moment, tears streamed down his face and he held her hand a little more firmly.
F2F: Sage was quiet as he continued to cry, hand rubbing his back and hair, until finally the tears slowed and words were audible. "I know ... I know it feels impossible," she murmured, tucking him closer to her as best she could, words intimate. "But you can. He'd want you to. I know I didn't know him as well as you did, but I know he would, because he loved you. You can do this, my love. You can."
Wes’s head completely fell to her lap, turning his cheek and resting it there. His body was slowing, the amount he’d cried and how hard had exhausted him and he was transitioning to the weird eerie calm state. Wes truly felt broken but Sage’s words were ringing through to him. Somewhere in his head and heart he knew she was speaking truth but it was hard to see through the dark clouds wrapped around him. Wes reached for her hand and held it, “I need him. I...I’ve never truly lived without him.” Chad had been there for him through everything, anytime he had fallen no matter how great the fall. Had supported Wes through the car accident and loss of his friends, he was Wes’s rock and backbone. His hero. And he was just realizing that it really was no more. Wes licked his lips and took a breath, feeling his phone buzzing in his pocket. “Simon was saying something about breaking curfew. Sage...” His wet, red, and puffy eyes finally met hers, “I don’t want him getting in trouble.” He brought her hand to his lips and placed a kiss on it and then another and another before snuggling it to him. A silent thank you even if he was out of mind.
F2F: She stayed quiet while he cried, just holding him, because it was a pain she couldn't understand. Hoped she would never understand. If anything ever happened to Thorn ... and to her, that's what she equated Chad for him, couldn't imagine the hole that lay inside of him. So she said nothing as he cried, just holding him, petting his hair, her own eyes tearing up at his pain. Because his pain was hers, just quiet murmurs of "I'm here," in his ear, arms wrapped around him.
The soft murmurs of her voice in his ear, reminding him that she was there eventually softened his crying. His head felt so light and Wes felt so tired, there was so much, almost too much to truly cope with when it came to the pain he felt. The loss suddenly really hitting him how real it was. “He’s really gone,” Wes croaked. “No,” he cried quietly, “I can’t do this without him.” His body crumbled and his head fell closer to her lap as he gripped onto Sage.
F2F: There were few people whose silhouette she could immediately recognize like Wes, X kissed goodbye for a moment before pressing forward to her best friend, arms immediately thrown around his waist as she dropped to the sand. "Wes," she murmured, not even sure what to say, just knowing she didn't want him alone in this pain, guilt threading through her limbs. "I'm here, I'm sorry. I'm here."
Unable to even remember how it all started, what had happened and how he had ended up on the beach. He left soon after the visitors arrived but walking through all the crowd and happy reunions, seeing some not so happy reunions play out online just put Wes’s head in a spin. Eventually the upset and everything he’d locked away for months came pouring out and it was like Niagara Falls once it started. He’d sheltered it all away and thought he had his pain stored away where it wouldn’t be dug up but boy was Wes wrong. Next thing he knew, Sage’s arms were around him where he had collapsed in the sand. Her voice was soothing him and he turned into her and wrapped her up tight, no words came but he instead cried right into her shoulder.
PM: I won't. I'll be there soon, I promise. Hang in there, please. I'll be there soon.
PM: Okay.