#sam!ponders

[insidesamevans]

…and gave him away as a team, with no hard feelings.

[insidesamevans]

So Mercedes and I made up our minds to find Mac a new home together…

[insidesamevans]

All the lonely looking old people at Kurt’s show reminded me that plenty of people in NYC would appreciate the company of a great dog.

[insidesamevans]

Which is why, even though my smart little doggy was givin’ us the back-and-forth-puppy-eye the whole time we discussed him, I was open to all her reasons for giving him up by the end of our talk.

I knew by that time that we’d have another McConaughey one day…

[insidesamevans]

I know Mercedes usually kinda laughs it off whenever I make marriage references… It’s like an inside joke for us; something we both like to laugh about.

**I’m like, the dude that fixates on that sorta stuff**

But even while she’s rolling her eyes, Mercedes knows deep down…that I honestly mean it with all my heart. And this was the first time she ever responded to it by letting me know she wants that future for us too.

[insidesamevans]

There was a part off that REALLY wanted to prove to my lady that I was gonna be THAT GUY for her someday. That a part of me already was. The idea that she couldn’t see it was really the worst part of the whole thing.

[insidesamevans]

So when we finally did talk, I let all my issues out. **lowers head** I mean, Mercedes was my girlfriend during the most crippling thing I ever went through with my family. And she never went a day without tellin’ me how proud I made her back then. Sometimes, her words of encouragement were the only thing keeping me going. **bites lip** And I know I’m not a perfect roommate these days, but shouldn’t Mercedes have remembered that anyway? Had all the years of separation made her forget about that Sam?

[insidesamevans]

Pooch Wars...

After Artie, McConaughey, and I cleaned up, my boy left and I got comfortable on the sofa with my dog to take a nap. We stayed there until Mercedes got home.

I knew she was gonna be a little pissy with me for not listening to her about giving up the puppy. And I also knew she’d be pretty frustrated by my stubborn attitude. But I was angry too, and didn’t care. I knew we’d be ok.

See, a lot of couples get to that level of frustration, shit builds up, and then they fight… And it never ends well. Somebody gets caught up in hurt feelings and says something they can’t take back. The other person responds with something THEY can’t take back, and it escalates.

But see, Mercedes promised me on the day she asked me to leave the brownstone, that she’d never to do that again. She told me that she’d try hard to not get angry enough to put me out of our bed or hit me with the silent treatment either. So I knew Mercedes and I would talk about the dog thing eventually.

Even tho she was still mad about Mac still being around… I knew we would work it all out.