Sacrifice
Sam Porter Bridges x fem!porter!Reader
Summary: When you and Sam get caught up in a fight against a BT, the porter steps in to safe your life - and sacrificing himself.
Warnings: changed timeline/plot? (I had to mix DS1 & DS2 things up a bit. Hope that's okay.), spoiler? If you haven't seen/played DS1 or at least started DS2, normal DS stuff, fluff/romance, pining? hidden feelings, angst - quite a bit, drama, a fight, guns, death (but not really, because you know why), BTs, mentions of scars and injuries, nudity? FLUFF
Word Count: 3,7k
a/n: Well... I never ever thought that I would be writing for a video game character at one point in my life, but here we are... And what can I say? I've been enjoying it SO much. I love Sam.
A shout-out goes out to @weirdoneattheparty , who inspired me to write this. And @savage-rhi , who sent me an idea, which I built into this fic. I hope y'all like this. I tried my best.
Pls go easy on me. It's my first time writing for Sam and DS in general. I hope I got this right. I'm not entirely satisfied with the story, but...
Masterlist
But you had to face reality. You and Sam wasn't going to happen. He had already lost so much in his life... His partner and unborn baby... His parents... You knew he would probably never be able to open up his heart again - let alone for a woman. He had taken too much damage; the walls around him thick and high. He was unreachable - figuratively and literally. The return of his Aphenphosmphobia was the result of damage and pain he had to suffer.
Friends. Good friends. That's all you and your fellow porter had been since years. And that's all you were ever going to be. Friends.
Not that you couldn't imagine being more than that, no... You definitely could picture you and Sam being way beyond the status of friendship. Perhaps you had even caught yourself daydreaming about it whenever you watched him pack his cargo from distance. Or talking to Heartman, Fragile or other porters.
Not falling for the man was an impossible task to accomplish for you at some point. You had seen it coming. Of course, you did. Knowing yourself well and having the tendency to fall for men out of your reach, it was just a ticking time bomb - bound to explode sooner or later. And it did.
Closed off, shy, introverted - that was the side of Sam you had met first. It had been intriguing. Exciting. Curious. An invisible string drawing you to the lone wolf. It had taken you months - years to gain his trust as a 'friend', but everything was worth it. You wouldn't want to miss him. Ever. Behind the tough shell was a kind, soft man, who found himself struggling more often in life than he was ready to admit. "Everything I touch, I lose." had been his answer to your question about his phobia and why it was existent. You didn't say anything; speechless about the harsh truth in his words.
By now, you had cracked his shell at least a little - well, you assumed you did. Unless he wouldn't have opened up to you, right? Showing you his more vulnerable side; trusting you to do so.
Sam Bridges - so easy to love and so hard to get.
A stone. A damn stone was enough to make you stumble and almost lose your balance. "Damnit," you cursed under your breath after luckily catching yourself to prevent the fall. "Eyes on the road, Y/N," you chided yourself while checking on your cargo - just to make sure. "Daydreaming won't get you anywhere," you mumbled. "And certainly not closer to-" "Hey, Y/N. You good?"
A shiver you couldn't shake off ran down your spine at the so familiar, dark and honeyed timbre. Speaking of the devil...
You looked up to see Sam approaching you; skillfully skipping past the rocks which caused you to almost kiss the grassy ground. "Hey, uh, yeah. All good. Just, um, checking my cargo." He gave you a nod. "Where are you heading?" You straightened up; now properly facing the handsome porter. "The Distribution Center South of Lake Knot City." The tiniest, probably cutest smile you had ever seen him smile darted across his face. "I'm going to South Knot City. We could go together - at least half the distance."
You had to fight hard not to blush at his offer. Spending more time with Sam than usual? How could you say no?
"Sure. I'd love to have some company in this lonely business..." You smiled bashfully back at him. Sam jutted his head direction south, "Let's get going. We have to cross a quite big BT area. Should probably get through that before nightfall." and started to march forward. You followed him. "Yeah. That was my plan, too."
The set in of quite heavy timefall signaled you two that you must be very close to the aforementioned BT area. And not just that... With both - you and Sam being DOOMs sufferer, you were able to feel it, too. You more than Sam. You didn't just feel them. You were actually able to see them - without the help of a BB. Of course, Lou felt them as well - like Sam's odradek told you and him. There was no need to check the weather map.
"Let's try to move quick and quiet," you whispered. "Can you do that, Mr. Bridges?" Teasing your friend from time to time was inevitable. He scoffed and walked ahead. "A piece of cake." You smiled - and once again followed him. You two moved quick and quiet - like planned, but nevertheless had to fight off a few BTs. Others you were able to 'dodge'.
Sam placed his hand on your upper arm.
But then something unforeseeable happened... A gate quake. A really heavy gate quake. An 8 on the scale as you both got so kindly informed afterwards. An information neither of you could concentrate on, because you and Sam suddenly found yourself ankle deep in tar with a huge, gigantic BT in the form of a whale flying above your heads. You had seen a lot of BTs in your life. Countless. But that... That was a first.
"S-Sam..." "Yeah, I know," he instantly answered; already reaching for one of his weapons. The man was way calmer than you were. Of course, he was. You knew this wasn't the first duel he had with such a 'monster'. "You got any weapons on you?" You nodded. "Get them out. We're fighting this together, 'kay?" You nodded once again with your eyes stuck on the danger ahead. "Y/N, hey." The call of your name managed to redirect your attention to Sam; turning your head to look into his blue eyes. He gave you a reassuring look, "We got this, alright?" and did something he never did before. Not in all those years you knew him...
"A-Alright," you managed to answer with a slightly shaky voice; trying to get your shit together. He gave you a nod - and as fast as his gloved hand was being placed on your upper arm, as fast was it gone again; leaving a burning, sizzling feeling of longing behind on your clothed skin. It felt like as if you had tasted a fragment of what you thought was out of reach for you. A glimpse of what could be.
It was a gentle touch. Shy. Timid. Precious. It caused your breath to hitch in your throat. You knew of Sam's phobia. Of his fears. You also knew that he started to lose this fear with the help of his newfound work and the connection to other people. Friends. He was taking slow steps into a once fearful direction for him - like a toddler.
You just didn't know that you had earned the privilege to be worthy of his touch yet. It was overwhelming - and unfortunately fed your romantic feelings for the very special human standing beside you even further.
Working together as a team, you slowly but surely managed to subdue the monstrous BT whale. But one moment of negligence turned the tables completely - in the worst outcome possible...
The haunting sounds of bullets flying ripped you out of the haze you'd been trapped in. Sam was already firing at the 'threat' looming above your heads. Forcing yourself to focus, you reached for your anti-BT gun as well and opened the fire; doing everything in your power to help Sam.
The creature fought back, of course, and gave you a very hard time to win the upper hand. Stomping through the tar to reach anything to climb onto for better aim and stability one second, dodging an attack the next. It was a kind of fight you had never experienced before with Sam definitely saving your ass more than once; telling you when to dodge, jump or 'run'.
It was the moment the BT had dived inside the tar under your feet; seemingly giving you a short break to catch your breaths and the chance to reload your weapons, unload old ones or get new ones. "You okay?" Sam panted; checking in on you. You nodded. "Are you?" "Yeah," he confirmed, then looked down at the pod attached to his suit. "Lou's a bit on edge, though," he said; stroking the pod with the cute Bridge baby inside gently. You smiled softly. "Understandable. This is quite nerve-wra-"
You had sensed it. Lou did, too. But you reacted too late - unlike Sam. The man quickly shoved you aside. "Run!" Was all he said before the tar opened up beneath him. You knew what it meant. Of course, you did. But you didn't want to believe it. "Sam!" You scrambled back to your feet. Entirely covered in tar, you tried to run towards him, but he stopped you; stretching out his hand. "I said run!" "But-" You started - wanted to argue, but gritted your teeth. It was no use. Looking at him for a moment - a moment you wished had lasted longer, you turned and started to 'run'; trying to get away as fast as possible, which wasn't easy. Tar was really unforgiving.
For you, it felt like the sudden, cruel twist of fate happening in slow motion, but actually everything flashed by within seconds. You didn't see how the BT swallowed Sam - but you could feel it.
Matter plus antimatter equals Voidout.
The 'explosion' caught up to you quicker than you were able to flee. The earth vibrating beneath your feet and throwing you off balance. Your body hit the ground once more. A loud 'bang' left your ears ringing. Searing whiteness settled over you and blinding your vision, before darkness swallowed you whole.
You took a hasty, rash step forwards - and almost fell; were barely able to keep the balance to not topple over. Your breath came out in ragged gasps. To your feet was a gigantic crater with a huge tar hand print right in the middle of it. The nature that was once growing in this place completely wiped out. It left you breathless - and not in a positive way.
The wind was cool against the tip of your nose; tickling you rather harshly awake. Slowly, you blinked your eyes open. Your brain needed a moment to catch up, orientate and remember what had happened. The BT, the fight, the Voidout, and - Sam. At the thought of him, you instantly shot to your feet; ignoring your body's protests. "Sam!" You screamed from the very top of your lungs, despite already knowing that it was in vein. Deep down, you knew that you'd never see him again. Hence, it was already a wonder you survived this.
"Sam!" You screamed again; looking around. Yours - and Sam's cargo was all over the place. Some most likely destroyed. The really important things hopefully still intact.
Tears flooded your eyes as they skimmed over all the damage this Voidout left behind - and because of the man it took from you. And just like that - within the blink of an eye, your life had become a wasteland. Losing the person who meant the most to you - and he didn't even know. You wanted to break down, curl yourself up into a ball and cry - but then you saw it. A figure in the distance. Something that looked very close to a human being. You narrowed your eyes in the hopes of recognizing more. The suit... It was familiar. Your pupils widened mere seconds later.
"S-Sam?" Could it truly be? No... It was impossible, was it? But then again... This world you lived in now was strange. You shouldn't be alive as well and yet here you were. So, could it possibly be that Sam was...
Your feet started to run on their own will; carrying you as fast as somehow possible over to the figure laying on the grassy, rocky ground. "Sam?!" The closer you got, the more you could make out his features. "Sam!" It was him. It was truly him.
You fell on your knees beside the man; hands reaching for his shoulders to gently shake him in the hopes of waking him up. "S-Sam..." You got no reaction. "Sam, p-please..." Nothing.
It hurt. A lot.
Tears rolled down your cheeks and dripped onto his upper body. "Please... D-Don't do this to me." You whispered; voice cracking. "Sam... I-I... I love you." You sobbed and cupped his cheeks within your warm palms; feeling the coolness of his skin and the stubble of his beard. Still. No reaction or response in any way. No sign of life.
"N-No," you cried; rocking back and forth on your knees, before lowering your body to press your forehead against his. He had sacrificed himself for you. You should be laying here. You. Not Sam. "I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I-I should've been more attentive."
You didn't know how much time passed. How long you had stayed in this position, but suddenly, you could detect movement from beneath you. Thinking you were absolutely going crazy now and hallucinating, you ignored it. Until Sam literally shot up from the ground with a deep wheezing breath; shoving you aside on the way. You landed on your ass beside him and watched with big, red eyes how he gasped for air and mere seconds later bend over to throw up... tar?
You didn't trust your eyes - stared at him open-mouthed. This couldn't be... It was impossible, right?! Were you all just dreaming this? Wishing this to happen?
"S-Sam?" You whispered in a shaky voice. His head snapped up to face you; beautiful deep blue eyes locking on yours. Slowly, almost hesitatingly, you crawled forward - inch after inch, to get closer to the man again. The remains of his phobia was the last thing your brain thought of in that very moment; too stunned by what was going on right in front of your eyes.
Cautiously, you reached out your trembling hands to carefully cup his cheeks once more. They weren't remotely as cold as before. Your eyes were still locked onto each other, as the man managed to sit up properly - not even flinching at your touch. Quite the opposite... His gloved fingers wrapped gently around your wrist. "I'm here," he whispered then - and you broke. The sheer relief you felt replaced the disbelief.
Unable to control the feelings which crashed into you like a wave, you leaned forwards to connect your lips to Sam's; bumping his nose on the way. Your eyes slipped shut as you finally kissed him. A last tear rolled down your cheek.
Sam was stunned. You could tell. Which made you realize what you were just doing. Retreating from the kiss, you shook your head and already inhaled deeply to voice your apology - but you didn't get to say even a single word.
The tickle of his goatee against your chin was a mere 'warning', before you felt his lips on yours once again. Your heart threatened to burst through your ribcage at how hard it was pounding; caused by this. You couldn't help but melt into the slow, chaste kiss. It felt surreal, heavenly, right. A soft pop stated the end (for now) of the quite intimate exchange. Your eyes were still closed shut as you brought your forehead into its previous position - pressed against Sam's.
"H-How?" You asked quietly after a few beats of silence; thumbs absentmindedly caressing the apple of his cheeks. Sam didn't say a word. Instead, he started to shift and move away from you - much to your dismay. Your hands slipped away from his face; eyes watching how he started to shed his backpack, odradek and BB pod following. You were utterly confused and didn't know what was going on inside his head, until he was sitting shirtless in front of you - a dangerous thing to do out here in the wilderness. Timefall could set in any time.
"Sam, what-" Then you saw it. The huge scarred cross carved into his belly. Your eyes widened. You had only heard of it, but never seen it before. "Y-You're a repatriate," you breathed out; looking back up into Sam's eyes. He gave you a nod. His hand gently cupped the back of your head to pull you closer to him once more and keep your forehead pressed against his. "You never told me..." "I know. I should've. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare the shit out of you, but... It was the only option I had. I couldn't let you die... I just couldn't."
His voice cracked at the end of his sentence - and your heart ached for him. You knew how much he had already lost in his life. He deserved so much more than just grief, frustration and sadness.
"Shhh, it's okay," you reassured him, "It's okay." and pulled him into a hug - something you longed to do for such a long time now. Sam melted against you; forehead buried in your shoulder. Apparently, he needed this as well.
You sat there together in the grass and dirt for what felt like an eternity, and you would've sat there way longer, but the rumble of thunder interrupted the moment. Timefall.
"We have to move. It'll start to rain soon." Sam nodded; was already working on getting dressed again. You moved as well and got up - feeling a sudden, very painful sting in your leg; causing a hiss to escape your lips. Only now did you notice that there was a blood stain on your thigh; the fabric around it torn. You must've hit something during the 'explosion' - or something hit you, but you didn't notice until now. The adrenaline level in your body had clearly been high enough to drown out the pain.
"You're hurt," Sam stated matter-of-factly as he came to stand beside you. "May I?" He gestured at your injury. You nodded. The man squatted down to examine the wound carefully. His hands were gentle and cautious to not accidentally hurt you. "It's nothing too bad, I'd say," he said and stood back up again with a grunt. "Did you have a PCC on you? Coincidentally?" "Y-Yeah. It should be laying around here somewhere." You looked around; trying to detect the object of desire. "I'll have a look." Sam took your hand in his for a moment to give it a squeeze. "You stay here, okay?" You complied and sat your ass down on the ground; feeling the pain numbing your entire leg. Luckily, it didn't take the porter long to find the PCC. "Let's build a safe house. We can tend to your wound, rest and escape the timefall. Besides, it's getting dark. Better stay here for the night." You couldn't agree more. You certainly didn't feel like walking through the night until you reached a distribution center or city. It was quite a distance to the next facility.
The safe house was printed quickly - just in time before the quite heavy timefall set in. Sam patched up your injury as best as he could. A good few hours of sleep helped the both of you to restore your blood levels and gather new energy.
With the first rays of sunshine, you hit the road again; leaving the safe house behind for other porters to use. Your leg didn't get worse - which was a good thing. It wasn't really better either, but at least you were able to walk. Sam looked out for you, of course; made sure you kept up and were okay with the route he took to get you (and him) to your destination. He even carried your cargo for you. Something you actually didn't want. "I can carry those. You don't have to do this," you had said, but Sam insisted. "I wanna," he had simply stated and started to shoulder your stuff.
Here you were now, on your way together to the Distribution Center South of Lake Knot City. Sam, though, made a little detour - as you noticed. You had walked this path before, so you knew. "Sam? Uh, where are we going?" "You'll see. Trust me." "O-Okay..."
Wordlessly, you followed him - until you saw some kind of smoke in the distance; emerging from a seemingly hidden place. You frowned but didn't question it. Yet.
"Didn't know you had one, either." The porter's voice suddenly cut through the very pleasant silence; eyes stuck on your bare upper arm. On the prominent scar there, to be precise. Your eyes followed his gaze. "Oh, yeah, this... Have it since I was a small child," you explained. "Much like yours." Sam reached out his hand to cup yours. "We both carry something from our past still with us, then." "We do. Another connection we share." You gently squeezed his hand; smiling.
It turned out that the 'smoke' was actually water vapor; rising from a hot spring - and that was exactly where Sam was taking you. "A... hot spring?" The man gave you a nod, alongside a low huff and started to shed his gear once again. "It's not just a hot spring, love. This is a healing spring," he explained while getting into the spring and letting the water submerge his body all the way up to his pectorals. "Come on in. It's gonna help your wound."
You gave him a soft smile, shed your gear almost entirely as well and joined him. You instantly felt the healing effect of the water; skin tickling. "This is nice. This is really nice." Sam smiled at you; visibly happy he had the idea for this little detour and was able to help you heal.
After taking a healing bath in the hot spring, Sam got you and your cargo safely to the distribution center. Before he left and moved on to his destination - South Knot City - he paid your private room a visit; not leaving without saying goodbye. Your heart fluttered in your chest as you saw him step over to the bed on which you sat. "Leaving?" "Mhm." You nodded; smiling up at him. "Be careful out there, okay? Repatriate or not... Just be careful. I don't want anything happening to you," you whispered the last sentence; lacing your fingers through his. "I promise," Sam answered, and bend over to press a lingering kiss on your forehead. "You be careful as well. I'll see you around. Soon as I get this delivery done, I'm picking you up here again, okay?" You squeezed his hand. "Okay."
FYI: @yas-yas-mimi @weirdoneattheparty @mvewtwo @jelly-terror @dixonsdarkelf
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