I watched the very first episode of Hannah Montana again after 14 years.
Ohh, I remember everything so clearly. I remember the feeling I had when I was 8 years old. The excitement, the thrill, the passion, the dream, the vision, the jealousy, and of course, the fangirling.
This quarantine really has rethinking what I want and I had to go back to my childhood, when I dream that I could be anything I ever want to be. The last 2 nights, I made a playlist of everything I listened to and reminds of my childhood. It got me thinking that maybe I should rewatch the shows since I never really knew how it all ended. I think it was last month when I watched all the Victorious episodes (aside from the iCarly crossover since it was considered an iCarly episode) and it really made me rethink my entire existence. However, tonight, I begin with Hannah Montana, my ultimate favorite show when I was young.
I remember in the past, maybe back in high school, I thought of watching the whole Hannah Montana franchise but I didn't go through with it since the show is still kind of fresh in my memory, maybe except the last season, but I definitely remember trying to watch the 3D concert at home. I even waited for the exact time for it to air only to be disappointed as I did not know what 3D meant but I as soon as I looked it up online, I guess I needed to buy something and the box was the DIY 3D glasses. I was so mad and sad during that moment because I guess it was only available in the US or our country's capital which I am far from. I even looked up how to make my own DIY 3D glasses and the results telling me to take red and blue cellophane which I have none in my house at the time. I ended just watching a few minutes of the concert and just listening to some of it because I was so disappointed and sad. I'm not quite sure if they had a rerun but I was too bummed out that I waited for the premiere and not being able to watch it. I also remember, I was still in grade school when The Hannah Montana: The Movie premiered and I told my family I have to watch it no matter what. I did watch it and I enjoyed it so much. I was a bit confused as to where she is in her journey because the Disney before didn't tell us when they'll drop a new episode so I kept just watching reruns and eventually moved to other shows. But, I was excited and happy that I got to watch the movie in the theatres to make up for the whole shebang for the 3D concert. I also remember performing Best of Both Worlds in front of my entire elementary school for P.E. and I didn't care if nobody knows the song, I was truly living the Hannah Montana life during that 2 minutes and 54 seconds. I was moving like how she did and dancing like I was her. It was truly magical.
Watching the very first episode again tonight, it felt like I was still the 8 year old girl who hoped to be like Hannah Montana in the future. All the feelings I had when I was just a little girl, I felt it all. I got excited when I see all the cast that I loved and made my entire childhood great. Seeing Miley Stewart enjoying a normal life at school and hanging out with her best friends, Lily and Oliver and having a double life, having a great time on stage, singing as Hannah Montana. I was so amazed at her that she was able to to that but also jealous because I wanted to be her. She was the first person I really stanned and still do. Of course, when I got older, I learned that they were actors and not what I saw was real. I followed the real actors, mostly just Miley Cyrus and I loved her since then. As a child, I didn't really know why Miley Stewart was struggling so much to keep her normal life. I thought the same way Lily did in the first episode and wondered why she wouldn't just want to be known as Hannah Montana. I was, and I guess I still am but for more artists now, a Lily and Oliver. I am a big fan. Looking back, I think that's where my fangirling started and where I actually got it from. Don't get me wrong, I still would wish to be Miley Stewart and Hannah Montana but after seeing Miley Cyrus grow up and navigate her life, I may have second thoughts before having my wish granted.
Nonetheless, Hannah Montana, the character and the show, has given me a lot of strength and confidence. They gave me wonderful stories to relate to, to admire, and to hope to experience in the future, the iconic songs and music that will forever move my heart and bring memories that I'll forever hold dearly.
I am only in the first episode and I'm already feeling a lot of emotions. I hope as I continue, I'll also be able to navigate my life and have a clearer vision of who I am and I what I want in life.