#sam's life problems

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Going to go try drawing now

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omg

i remember my eighth grade science teacher was so cool and being the awkward kid that i am i asked him while he was explaining tectonic plate movement on a map, i asked "don't you think Africa looks kind of like a brain?" He gave me the are you fucking stupid look. 

I don't know why this is so funny now, but i am cracking up.

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Titles test

Took a few first got the sylph of the heart >:(

Then took a more complicated one and got Knight of doom 

then took the first one again and got sylph of breath

Seriously that's my least favorite outfit, style check on isle 5

jk, but i still don't like it

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lame rant

Whether i agree with them or not, you're not gaining anything by pressing things on each other. If you disagree fine disagree! But don't call them bad people. I mean they are certain things that can not be compromised. I just wish there was some divine unbiased judgement in the world. 

Pro-lifers, please don't try to twist things to try to make pro-choice sound evil, respect every one opinion and that goes for everyone. I respect you beliefs but banning abortion doesn't respect mine. I know i am kind of picking on them, but that what i've seen that the issues i've been seeing too. Also i know everyone is different and there all not one person, i am not trying blame every individual in that group.

I am not going to name any names, but this one person with a particular radio show my dad listens to, and belongs to large political group started calling the youth of the opposite group mindless bloggers. This has been bugging me for the past couple of weeks. I know they were trying to get my goat though because another comment later they jokingly blamed certain things because the united states allowed women to vote, but that was so rude. Politicians resort to rude jokes to get attention and for an argument? Oh dear, faith in the world -10. (oh well you can probably tell who it is even though that wasn't the point.)

Its been very difficult to word this, again I'm not trying to offend anyone though. I'm sorry for some vagueness too. 

That's been on my chest and some friend drama. It feels everything with my online friends is just falling apart, admin stuff, I've been trying so hard to get the group up again and i am not even really into the fandom (not really considering myself apart of any) of Hetalia. (Fandom i like sometimes but its hard for me to be apart of something, especially where i don't agree with some of the stuff in there. But i like being apart of my group for some reason.) I feel like every time my friends or group meet up I am always dragged around (this goes way back though before i met all my current friends.) and i can't really say anything or add. I like my house though. 

Another thing with the hetalia group, i feel as if most of the members don't not who i am, or even i'm an admin. Only a select few that cosplay well know characters, and are have lots of charisma.

But back to friends, most of the time i just want to be quiet, or can't figure anything to talk about that isn't so over used or cliche! Yeah, and we all just need to meet and agree to, you know, maybe to forget about everything in the past? I get really paranoid that everyone hates me kay? Even when they it's fine.... Thats one of the things that ruined elementary school for me. I know that you shouldn't care about what people think, but these are my friends and it bugs me. We need all to play a game or something too, do something fun that we all enjoy. 

Also I've been just so lonely, really lonely okay? I have an issue in summer where its just the same thing over and over again and you don't really go out and do nice things with your friends. I use to look some much forward to things and kind if like Gatsby i bring myself down, fascinating about it and whatnot. So i don't try to look forward to things but i kind of expect feel better when i do this, i never do. Just an empty pit. I guess i shouldn't go all emo but in the past few years, i've never really been happy. I just keep chugging forward when i am not though, look for some kind of relief. I would never give up, that's not the kind of person i am. I've talk to serveal professionals about it, trying to hint at i may have depression of some sort. They either don't follow through on it, or try to pin it on something i know i don't have. I don't think it can be helped though, it is not within my beliefs to take behavior medication. It may not be depression though, i am not trying to self diagnosis myself or anything. Even though i think about it sometimes, i would never kill or harm myself. (besides an old bonk on the head for doing something stupid) The though of me doing it is seen as quitting or giving up (not to other people who done it or anything). I just want to appear a strong person as not such an emotional mess. The therapists always blame this certain event on my emotions but i am over it really, shed all the tears, the whole kit and kadoddle before it was all sorted out. 

There is more to it i guess, but i said way to much to be professional here. (Stop pouring you heart out on the internet Sam!) I'll regret this later.

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I walk a lonely road

its at the corner of butthole rd and aloneintinychat court

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a challenge

I must listen to all the homestuck albums without skipping any songs.

Here we go

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Good tidings