"What the hell is that thing?"
Red frowned in his brother's general direction before returning to the problem at hand. "it's a little shit, that's what it is"
There was currently a very small skeleton clinging to his neck as though he were a jungle gym, which didn't entirely feel good. But he couldn't tell the thing to stop without the use of his hands, which were currently occupied with preventing his asphyxiation.
"That doesn't really answer my question" Fell grumbled, still looking a bit more apprehensive than any 7-foot, terrifying, skeletal captain of the guard had any right to be.
"Well it's obviously a babybones" choked Red, attempting to both shut the door and keep the kid from dusting him.
"Well I can see that, but where did it even come from?"
"It's Comic's kid. He asked me to-ack!-watch him for the day"
"AND YOU SAID YES?"
"I couldn't help it, Boss, hes just so cute! You know I have no defense against cute things!"
"Are we talking about Comic or the kid here?"
Red's face lit up, not entirely from the fact that the kid was now pounding on his spine with his little fist. "Aw, shuddup. You know I was talking about the kid"
He finally succeeded in closing the front door, and he made his way towards the couch, trying to get the kid to let itself be held, instead ending up with its back pressed against his front with his arms wrapped around under his shoulders.
"Do you remember how to speak in hands?" He gasped out as the kid's kicking feet managed to nail him in the front of the pelvis.
Fell made a so-so motion, clearly enjoying the show in front of him.
"Do you know enough to tell him to hold still so I can put him down properly?"
In answer, Fell signed to the kid, who immediately stopped thrashing. Red set him down gratefully, straightening and arching his back to pop the aching joints. The kid ran over to Fell, signing with his tiny little hands "Who are you?"
Fell answered him "My name is Fell! What's yours?"
"Serif. Do you know my mommy?"
Red grinned as he sat next to Fell on the couch, enjoying the adorable conversation in front of him.
"Yes, I do!" Fell answered, grinning widely. "Your mother is my brother's friend, so he comes to our house a lot"
Serif looked confused. "Who is your brother?"
When Fell signed out Red's name, the little guy looked as though he had had his mind blown. He turned to Red and quickly signed "I thought you were alone all the time! Mommy told me you loved mustard like it was your family!"
Fell burst into laughter as Red fight to keep from grimacing. "Nope!" He signed back. "I'm stuck with this guy" He waited until Serif had been distracted again and muttered "motherfucker" under his breath, as though he was still afraid of being overheard by the child. He was going to kill Comic.
Fell scooped Serif up onto his lap and Red, satisfied that the kid was occupied for the time being, stood up and went into the kitchen to see what Sans had given him in the "babysitting backpack" he had been gifted with.
The answer, apparently, was applesauce. There were approximately 5 billion containers of applesauce in the main pocket of the backpack, along with a small first aid kit, some baby wipes, a change of clothes, a sippy cup, and a little bag of Cheerios. Then, in the bottom of the bag, there was a large bottle of mustard, "Thanks!" written messily across the back in red marker. Red smiled at the bottle for a moment before putting it in the fridge and packing everything back into the backpack as best he could.
Leaving the bag on the counter, he ventured back out into the living room, only to be greeted with an empty couch.
"Boss...?" Red called, peering around the room. No response. He frowned and made his way upstairs, peeking into Fell's room on the way to check his own. They both appeared to be empty. Then where...
"Shhhhh" the shushing noise was very quiet, but Red knew he had heard it, along with the accompanying giggles from Serif. Red looked back into the room he had just vacated, and finally, he saw the tips of Fell's boots poking out from underneath his bed. He heard more giggling, louder now that he was in the same room. To be fair, the kid couldn't hear themselves, and probably thought they were being much quieter than they actually were.
Red crossed the room in, well, a lot of steps, actually (he couldn't help that he had short legs, damn it!) and peeked under the bed.
He was greeted by the sight of his brother on his back with the toddler half on top of him, signing quickly for him to be quiet, they didn't want Red to--
"Boo!" Shouted Red, flapping his hands. Serif just squealed and flapped his hands back when he noticed, but Fell sat up quickly in fright and knocked his forehead against the underside of the bed.
As his brother groaned and rubbed his head, Serif crawled out from under the bed and hugged Red's legs tightly, still giggling. "It should be illegal to be as cute as you", Red said aloud, rubbing the little guy's head fondly.
Serif made a face so reminiscent of Comic that Red couldn't help but smile, then he dutifully tapped the place where his ears would be, as he had been taught to when someone forgot to sign instead of speaking.
Red smiled and signed "I just said you're very cute"
The little guy smiled as big as he could and let go of Red's legs to sign "I know!"
Red grinned back (who wouldn't?) and then said "what do you say we check on my brother?"
Serif nodded as decisively as a three-year old could, and then he crawled back under the bed. Red crouched down so he could see, and watched as Serif tapped on Fell's face. Fell had closed his eyes and had his jaw hanging open as though he was sleeping.
Red almost didn't catch him signing to Serif "I cant wake up my face is broken" but Serif certainly caught it, and he immediately started to cry. Fell quickly opened his eyes and tried to reassure him, but only succeeded in bonking his head again, which sent Serif into a new round of wailing.
"Red! How do I make it stop? I don't know how to deal with crying!" His brother's panicked voice was certainly a memory Red was going to have to pack away for a later date, but for now, he thought he'd best not antagonize him anymore. He reached under the bed and pulled out the sobbing babybones, who was closely followed by Fell.
Red held Serif close, bouncing him for a moment and thrumming his fingers on his cheekbone in a soothing sort of way like he's seen Comic do many times. "Sign to him that you're okay" he instructed his brother, who immediately stepped behind him, into the line of sight of Serif, to do so.
Serif had stopped crying within a few moments, and then he curled in closer to Red, clutching tightly to his shirt. Red knew he only acted like this because being held by Red felt like the same thing as being held by Comic, but he let himself pretend, just for a moment.
He set Serif down when he seemed to have calmed, and signed to him "what do you say we go try to make a dent in all that applesauce your mom sent you with?"
Damn, he really would do anything to make this kid smile, wouldn't he?
