i used to fucking LOOOOOOVE jesus and god and i was christian af and wanted to save everyone i met bc thats all i knew when i was a kid. we only listened to christian music and i wasnt allowed to watch a lot of tv at all, our version of christianity in my early years was like borderline Mennonite or smth. my older brother was like ‘you should try thinking for yourself sometimes’ and that was code for ‘im atheist lets get stoned’ and then i smoked weed with him like twice and was like oh CHURCH LMAO HELL NAH and thats how i decided god was ridiculous and that i was atheist.
i do want to add tho that i have nothing against christians and i dont judge ok we all need something to help us sleep at night, for some of us it’s knowing that god isn’t real, for some of us it’s knowing that god is real
Witch: If I could change one thing about me it would be my health habits. like i wish i genuinely gave a shit. but sadly i can’t make myself T__T
Nymph: When I’m by myself I contemplate all the things i said during the day until they drive me crazy and then I vow to never speak again bc im dumb and then the next day im like lmao nvm OH and also don’t laugh but sometimes when i am drifting off to sleep i pretend that its the future and i am beautiful and famous wow im a loser
Fury: The thing I dread hearing.. it’s so cliché but “we need to talk” or “can you come here for a minute” like YEAH SURE LET ME JUST HAVE A FUCKING HEART ATTACK RITE QUICK
Summary: Who is Kitty. and why did Michael not want Lindsay to come home?
(Team Jones)
Warnings: N/A
Words: 1174
Lindsay was worried sick.
It has been a full hour since Michael returned a text. She just went out to made sure that everything was all set and available for their first Christmas Eve dinner as Mr. and Mrs. Jones. She has promised that she will be the one to buy the groceries as Michael had stayed at home that day, but told her that he would be the one to cook. Knowing Michael, she was pretty sure that it would be a feast more than enough for the two of them, The thought always warmed her heart for the past few days, until now.
His last text was him saying that he was waiting for her and their usual string of sweet nothings, all perfectly normal.
She did her best to train her eyes on the road, but she kept on giving sideward glances to her phone, which was in a can holder in the passenger seat. She was willing to wait it out, thinking that he may have just fallen asleep waiting for her. Nevertheless, she picked up her phone to dial the person who knew Michael’s whereabouts second best to her.
“Hello?” Gavin’s voice blared over the speakerphone.
“Hey, Gav. Any idea where Michael is?” Lindsay tried to sound casual, hiding the evident worry that she had been nursing for an hour already.
“Nope. Isn’t he at home with you today?” The Brit replied. Lindsay’s mouth hung open in exasperation, about to launch into a tirade when a cheery “Hey, Lindsay” chimed in the background.
“Uhh… Hi, Meg. I’m on the road now. Supposedly, he’s at home. Merry Christmas then, you two. I’m sorry I disturbed you.” She was about to cut the line when Gavin spoke in a reassuring tone.
“Not to worry, my dear Linds. The awesome Vav will look for your Michael and make him barrage you with texts!” She had to laugh with that one. Gavin sure cares about Michael as much as she does, but in his own little way. Hopefully, he could be able to help her with her current dilemma.
“Thanks, Gav. Bye!” She quickly ended the call and went back to focusing on the road. However, just as she was building up her concentration, she stopped to see a traffic jam in front of her.
“No shit!” She exclaimed, not minding if the neighboring cars heard her. Then, she started beating her steering wheel in exasperation. What a great way to celebrate Christmas Eve, she thought. She rested her forehead on the wheel and took several deep breaths.
After staying in that position, her phone finally rang with Michael’s version of “You Are My Sunshine”, his assigned ring tone.
“Fucking finally!” She exclaimed again before she accepted the call and spoke in her calmest voice possible. “Baby?”
“Yeah, baby, I’m sorry. Gav had to call me to call you. I’m so stressed right now!” He did sound like he was pacing back and forth, his breath rapid.
“What’s wrong? Oh my god, I’m sorry. I’m stuck in a jam right now, ugh! I wanna be home soon!”
“No, no, no, please don’t be home soon.”
Whatever he said, it rang in her ears.
“What did you say?”
“Oh, I mean… No, not at this time… Kitty, stop doing that!” He said the last line quite loudly and it sounded like he put down his phone on a surface before she could even react. Lindsay cut the line abruptly and stared angrily on the congested road.
Who was Kitty?
Was Michael cheating on her?
Michael called again but Lindsay was too exasperated to answer. Instead, she put her phone on mute and tossed it into the glove compartment of her car. She wanted nothing more than to go home and go into the root of the problem. Thankfully, the traffic jam only let up a few minutes and it began moving again. Christmas sure did wreak havoc to everyone’s nerves, Lindsay thought.
Fifteen grueling minutes later, Lindsay came barging into the front door. The first thing she saw were red rose petals leading to the living room, which she followed. The trail ended on the bottom of the Christmas tree, but the only thing she found was a torn box and wrapping paper strewn everywhere. From there, the scene was dismal. Toilet paper and socks were scattered all over the corridor. Shoes were littered at the bottom of the stairs. It was a good thing that the kitchen was spared, but in front of the door was a blockade of chairs. Before she could go anywhere else, Michael shouted from the second floor.
“Oh my god, can you not stay still, you pussy???”
Lindsay gasped audibly at the remark and started sprinting towards where the sound came from, which was their bedroom. As she went, she went through a litany about having been cheated on and getting an unprecedented divorce. Upon reaching the door, she burst into her most commanding voice.
“Michael Vincent Jones, what do you think you are…?”
The door came flying open and only a loud thud was heard. There knelt Michael in front of the bed, hair dishevelled, sweat beading on his forehead, and a fresh scratch running from his left temple to his jawline. However, there was no one else in the room but him.
“Baby, I’m so sorry! I just...” Michael wiped the sweat from his brow. “It’s just I’m having a hard time dealing with...”
“With what? Are you hiding anything from me? Are you cheating on me?” Lindsay answered forcefully, emphasizing the last sentence. Michael braced himself to answer but before he could, a soft mewling sound came from under the bed. Lindsay stopped and walked slowly towards their bed. Kneeling down, she peered under it. That was when she had her realization.
Under the bed was a gray kitten, purring softly and wagging her little gray tail as it looked at her.
“Seriously, Michael? Is this what you can’t deal with? And is this supposed to be under the tree?” She questioned as she picked the kitten up from under the bed and nestled it on her lap. She pet the kitten gently and it purred contentedly.
“Yes, but, for the past hour, it did nothing but spite me! How…?” He dumbfoundedly stared at the sight of Lindsay and the kitten, his wife whispering affectionately at the kitten while she held it to her face. After a few moments, Lindsay stood and went over to Michael, the kitten cradled to her chest.
“That’s your fault, baby. You do not apply rage on such itty bitty lovelies.” She inspected the long scratch on his face with her free hand. and then proceeded to softly kiss it. “Thank you, Michael, truly! This is the best Christmas ever!” She exclaimed. It was as if the last hour did not happen at all.
Lindsay’s smile as the cat rubbed its head affectionately on her arm immediately dissipated Michael’s rage. Maybe she was right, this is their best Christmas ever.
