santos' conversation with mckay was like. painful to watch. a mess. but it was so well written. it's so chewy.
she said LAST EPISODE that she felt her talents and abilities as a doctor were put into question on her first ever day on the job. she said that she feels ostracized by her peers. mckay calls her over for help with a patient because trinity is 'good with the weird ones.' trinity is going to say no, dennis gives her a little encouragement, trinity goes for it. in her head, this is her giving ground. in mckay's head, this is just what is expected of you when asked nicely for something. she goes over and solves the case within a few minutes. mckay sees this as impressive, santos sees this as what is expected of her when told to do something. if there's a problem with a patient, you solve it. mckay comes over and subtly praises her. santos essentially rejects it. all of last season, the messaging to her is 'you are too cocky,' 'you aren't experienced enough to have this much confidence,' 'when you are assured in yourself and your talents, you're unlikable.' when she asserted herself based on her own convictions about patient care last season, she was met with "are you aware you have an aggressive energy, trinity?" so, santos rejects the praise, and mckay tries to double down. then santos doubles down on the 'its nothing, our patients are stupid and its not hard and i'm not being bigheaded' strategy. unintentionally making mckay feel like she's being called stupid for not catching it. mckay goes wow. santos realizes she seems like an uncaring doctor, she goes 'but don't worry, i'm glad they're stupid! i love having job security.' like she is trying to save the conversation while also being true to herself while also not being egotistical while also trying to finish up her hours of unpaid post-shift work. but we've already gotten a 🦋 mckay will remember this 🦋 pop up in the upper lefthand corner and she has only dug herself deeper in this hole
