seen from Israel
seen from Russia
seen from Pakistan
seen from United States
seen from New Zealand
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from Malaysia
seen from Singapore
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Yemen
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Nepal
seen from New Zealand
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Tunisia
seen from Romania
seen from Malaysia
seen from Romania
This is the longest that I haven't worked since the pandemic started. Finding things to do by myself while also grieving is close to impossible. And I need to clean my apartment so my sweet poor roommate wont be left with a disaster while I'm away.
Also too extra and have no chill most of the time anyway so what's the truth.
I feel like sometimes I'm too chill about my life and that's how I feel like I've ended up where I am now and I'm not chill about it.
I guess I came to the conclusion that no matter what state I'm in, I can't escape the awful bullshit that is my life. So I might as well stay in Oregon. Why put so much effort into going back home when I know I'm gonna hate wherever I live.
That feeling when you hate every aspect of your life and how the brief mention of a possible change gets blown up to the point of every family member telling me to move back home and my mom offering to pay my rent so I don't have to live in Oregon anymore but even then will I really be happy? Who knows.
Bi monthly regrets of staying in Oregon
I'm going back home in 10 days and I know for a fact that I won't want to leave. I miss San Diego so much. I miss my family. I miss easy access to downtown and my favorite places. Nothing and nowhere in Oregon compares. I wish it wasn't so fucking expensive to live in San Diego by myself because I don't think I'm digging on Oregon as much as I was when I first got here. The newness of the state has died out. I have run out of things to do other than work and school. I love and cherish the friends that I have made here and I don't have too many friends back home but I barely get so see my Oregon friends anyway so what's the difference? I think after I finish culinary school, I'm moving back home.
Dramatically listening to classical music at 4 am outside on my porch as I contemplate the meaning of love and cry about it. Someone stop me from being the piece of shit I am currently.
I keep forgetting I have a tattoo that's supposed to remind me to fucking chill when I'm panicking about things I can't control.
