Imagine if Reploids had eyes that were able to glow in the dark and help them see, so if it were pitch darkness all you would see are a bunch of eyes floating.
Bonus points if you imagine Zero trying to surprise X and X being like "Zero, honey...I can still see you
Extra bonus points if you include Zero's boob lights as glow in the dark
the funniest part abt wind and truth is that Kaladin starts genuinely forming a platonic bond with Szeth and even developing a brotherly/paternal protective instinct because like. youre telling me that this guy literally went from killing him to kind of thinking hes a messy freak of a human being to "despite his heinous crimes hes just a lil guy your honor. a poor little meow meow" in the span of 10 days / even less ?? maybe the real ideal isnt "i will protect even those i hate" cause im starting to believe Kaladin cant even hate anyone. perhaps the real oaths were the friends we made along the way
being aromantic and being in a romantic relationship is not mutually exclusive but im starting to think most people dont know how to engage in media if there's no canon romantic relationship
a totally serious Ivan Alien Stage analysis by yours truly, Sash @mobblespsycho100
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( Quick Disclaimer that I'm mostly going to use the word "love" here in a romantic context, but trust me, I am doing an inherently aromantic/anti amatonormativity analysis/interpretation of Alien Stage by virtue of being an aro doing the essayin. )
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The whole premise of this analysis is that in my opinion, Ivan, homotron 3000, king yaoi the 3rd, canonically does not recognize his feelings for Till as "love". And no, it's not just because the aliens don't have a concept for it or the way they were raised in Anakt Garden / by their pet owning humans (even though that's partly one of the reasons)– because we see Sua and Mizi sort of recognize that their feelings for one another are something akin to our modern definition of love – even if they don't have the words for it and even if it goes beyond that ('my god my universe')
So, why do I think this? a couple reasons! the main one being the Ivan centric comic we got after round 6, but let's start with the thesis of this analysis:
Ivan thinks his feelings are selfish, and does not consider the alternative that it might not be.
[ exhibit a: "thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions"
but i wont get into that yet (says guy who is holding back to not talk abt it right away) ]
We're going to the very beginning to psychoanalyze king yaoi the 3rd, a little prelude if you will: ALIEN STAGE (Sweet Dream) & Black Sorrow brief discussion !
Alien stage (the video not . not the name of the series) is basically our introduction to the series and it is a banger. What's really interesting to me is that in the Ivan centric scenes it shows adult Ivan singing in alnst and smiling & staring at till with those homo eyes. The only time he's shown as a kid is in the Anakt garden singing practice group shot.
We can infer that he is a guy who I think cares abt his image or appearance, he looks like a very stereotypical image of an idol. However, his smile never really reaches his eyes. even when hes looking at Till, neither of them are smiling. Ivan only smiles on the stage, as he is performing. The careful and deliberate way he showcases himself is easy to see. He's charming, hes the thumbnail of the prologue! What's interesting to me is that there's really nothing that striking about his character design aside from the fact that his bangs are half covering his other eye (and what I mentioned abt the smile not quite reaching his eyes). There is a distance between him and the audience, the stage persona, not Ivan the man but Ivan the celebrity. Just another handsome face in the game.
Now, that initial character analysis isn't actually going to be all that relevant in this essay unfortunately (though I could definitely go into that! Maybe in an analysis comparing Ivan and Luka), but I really do like how the lyric that shows up on the [Ivantill] frame is "Live in Darkness" because it goes to my next point, Black Sorrow Ivan whos singing about himself and Till (him as the pov character and "you" as till, but I'm stating the obvious here). I'm not going over every lyric because this analysis would be way longer but basically, Black Sorrow is about the grief of never being able to reach someone who you want to be by your side forever so badly. Ivan understands that the ending of this contest is not a kind one, there is no field of flowers waiting for them after they win, only bloodshed.
"To me , you are black sorrow" says by the guy who wears all black and has eyes filled with sorrow. Alright all jokes aside though, I do enjoy the most widespread interpretation of the animation itself, that Ivan compares Till's nature to stars or a meteor shower in particular because of how that image is ingrained in his mind since childhood. I also think that Ivan associates Till with more of a candle always burning up, a star that has fallen to the dirt. A meteorite if you will, rock that made an impact and left a crater in Ivan's heart. He was always fascinated by the light in the dark sky. It represented beauty and hope to him, that maybe theres more to life than getting hurt. That there's light in the ever growing darkness as cliché as that sounds.
Till makes Ivan curious, more than anything. He enjoys aggravating him, making fun of him. Mizi is Ivan's friend , because (and I'm just guessing here mostly. i love their silly friendship shown in comics, its very important to me. ) she's fun to talk to and shes silly in a way that just makes people gravitate towards her, but Till is Ivan's friend because it is funny to piss him off. Till is interesting to Ivan because hes entertaining. Someone so talented and beloved yet easy to target. Someone who stands up for himself. Someone who is so so alive, burning up like a short quick fuse. Someone who can't and would not be kept down despite the collar on his neck. It intrigues Ivan, this guy who sings with enthusiasm and passion, not just going through the motions. Like some comet striking in the darkness. A true artist.
But in his eyes, this isn't Love. Its fascination at best, interest sure, admiration ? perhaps. What Ivan wants isn't Till's happiness, what he wants is to see him react in a funny way. Everything Ivan does is not for Till's sake, it's for his sake. His amusement. Till makes him feel alive, and hes grateful for that, he's grateful to have a companion like Till. (OR SO HE THINKS). In the end though, although he is affectionate, I don't think it registers in Ivan's mind that whatever he feels for Till is love. This is simply their dynamic of push and pull, tug and shove, tease and cry. It's something, and also nothing at all.
But then he tried to save him. He thought he could be the one to save him. And it fails– badly.
(right this is a small tangent but how exactly did he know how to open the collar mechanism? this guy's really fucking smart. did he use a pick? how did he just unclip it so easily??? is he crazy? did he observe the anakt supervisor do that? what the hell Ivan Alien Stage. maybe I'm missing an explanation here . if anyone knows please share .)
Right okay so the whole running away together , escaping the garden hand in hand, this must be when Ivan realizes he truly loves Till, enough to potentially sacrifice his life for him right? WRONG. We all know how this ended. Black sorrow, out of reach, so close and yet so far. Till going back to Anakt Garden, gazing at Ivan, looking back. Conflicted. Till was always a beacon of light. Till was always rebelling against the Anakt. He's the problem child, surely he'll go along with it? Surely he'll run away with Ivan. He's freed him! He's out of his cage now! He can do anything he wants, and they can go anywhere together!
Till went back. He couldn't bear to not see his friends again. He felt wrong for leaving everyone behind. He doesn't want to leave anakt garden, and maybe Mizi is the defining factor, but I think even if it wasn't Mizi who was left there I think he would've gone back. He looks back like Orpheus and Eurydice. He looks at Ivan and his eyes are almost an apology, he runs back. Fire burns around them. Ivan smiles.
And he goes back too.
OKAY now im just writing a whole ass fanfic. back to the damn analysis section.
Ivan's thoughts toward Mizi and Sua are so damn interesting to me, especially how he feels abt Sua. He recognizes what those two have going on as Love. He's kind of jealous of them really, he won't ever understand the feelings he harbors fully. He sees them laughing with each other, truly embracing each other's company joyfully, looking at one another like they're looking at the whole world. Part of why he doesn't think what hes got going on with Till is "love" is because its not the same, Till won't ever look at him like how he looks at Mizi or how Ivan himself looks at Till (in his eyes but lets be real I think Till pining for Mizi woulda been obvious for Ivan so he cant imagine Till enjoying his company the same way as Ivan does Till even if theyre friends but tbf I DON'T THINK IVAN WANTED SOMEONE TO MATCH HIS FREAK i think he wanted to be the only freaky one. but i digress). Right — so this is what establishes Ivan feeling like his feelings for Till are "shallow" and also what makes him laugh at Sua and call her twisted and selfish and "you'll be nothing more than a trauma to Mizi" (wtf btw) when Sua told him (presumably. honestly idk . how did he fuckin know) abt The Plan to sacrifice herself in round 1. Because to Ivan that is selfish, that is imbalanced, something that isn't right because to him Sua is only thinking of her own feelings. He laughed at her, taunted her. He felt vindicated. So yeah, you truly are twisted like I am, I thought we weren't the same, but deep down there is something deeply wrong with you too! (okay . stop that)
To Ivan thats kind of like how he feels about Till, he's not thinking about Till's feelings when he acts. He just Says shit and Does stuff and likes to bother Till because of the love of the game??? (Honestly? I can't tell. His mind is too oopy goopy for my comprehension)
And he ultimately regrets the words he said to Sua right? He said he was relieved that Sua is "also twisted" but all he did was project his own feeling of being a selfish and twisted person to Sua, who had no clue what the hell he was on about. Sua believed that she was going to save Mizi from pain, because death is pain, because she's seen that before and she would not let Mizi die in front of her. And Ivan says "hey but thats stupid , in dying yourself you're going to make her feel pain because she actually *loves* you and would not want you to die.". Which brings me to the whole point of the analysis though, because this isn't a "did Ivan love Till forreal" analysis it is a "Did Ivan realize he was experiencing love or was he fucking stupid" analysis.
and the answer is that its kind of a mix of both, but mostly hes fucking stupid (saying this with love in my heart).
Because until the end he thought he was selfish. Until the end he thought it was shallow emotion (and maybe he was being sardonic towards himself, but lets be real he understands that he was punishing himself for his feelings. He knew he felt strongly, but he didn't think what he felt for Till was love because it did not make Till happy. "I could never love him, I let him go" "I don't love him, I'd rather leave him then see him gone because he would not miss me, Im sure of it.")
Sooo what was the point of all this again? The point is that. Ivan is stupid. im joking okay the point is that maybe round 6 wasn't about the doomed tragic yaoi kiss. Maybe it was abt doomed yaoi but not about Ivan dying knowing that he loved Till. Maybe it wasn't about Ivan getting shot 3 times and dying in such a way it changed the trajectory of my life forever. Maybe it was about Till deserving better than Ivan (which is probably Ivan's thought process but lets be real did he even think abt how this would affect Till. He literally went "nah it won't" but no its not the point once again).
Round 6 was Ivan beginning to realize that maybe he's never going to get what he wants, and thats okay, because there is something selfless about dying for someone. Even if his emotions are "shallow", even if his motive was selfish, even if he looked hot during it (sorry. sorry) (he didn't i just wanted to tack on a joke), maybe in the end this was a little bit of "love" like what it looks like in Mizi and Sua. Maybe even better, because Till does not love him. Till would not feel pain if Ivan died, because he does not feel the same way (OR SO HE THOUGHT). He's only sorry to Till because this will be his last memory of Ivan now, a farewell kiss, and his cold clammy hands closing around his neck.
(Speaking of the kiss, I wonder if it's something he learned from books? or his segyein? because apparently a kiss is not a well known or even established sign of affection in alien society right (idk I'm not in the vivinos patreon i just saw this from somewhere)? and the only other person who knows the significance of a kiss as a gesture of love is Luka.)
Now back to love.
Till never realized it until it's too late. Ivan has not realized it even in the grave. Because dying for someone is a twisted thing, especially when it's someone like him who is already a twisted person doing it for Till, who is his light.
Was it a good show, Ivan? Did he look at you at the very end Ivan? did you see his expression when you fell to the cold stage, Ivan? Was it tears or was it rain that fell down as you lost your balance? Did your vision go dark before you saw that light Ivan? Did it even matter at the very end? Are you glad you made sure of your demise? Did it guarantee Till's safety?
Maybe it did. Even at the very end. You got the reaction you loved so much right? Another one to add in the ever expanding gallery, even if it was in these horrible circumstances.
Anyway, in conclusion? Ivan did not realize that his feelings for Till was love because he thought love had to be some kind of perfect thing between two people and since he was a selfish person then it could only be "shallow emotions" and Till the recipient of his "shallow emotion" could only be a victim. It never crossed his mind to even think otherwise and think about how Till might feel about all this because it's already set in his mind that he's selfish, cruel, and vain and Till deserves better. Gah.
Rest in peace king yaoi the third fly high this has been my ted talk/hot take/analysis that may not be a hot take I just don't actually engage with the fandom takes all that much . Peacing out now this guy is so fucking weird (peace and love) (Ivan stans don't go after me I am aware of his autism swag. I too am also--) 🕊️
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Special thanks to you, the reader, if you managed to read all this :3 another special thanks to my friend group, crossover ✌️ especially E my good friend E. Alrighty idk how to end this
