#sashi rambles

[shrewdle]

Y'ever just say a sentence and then realise how fucking buckwild it is

Like "I just met my boss. Lin Manuel-Miranda"

That's a legitimate sentence I can say. What the heck

[shrewdle]

Taking some time away

Need to get my head straight.

Moots you know where to find me

[shrewdle]

Late night thought as im low key mad still about some shit.

If you initiate a conversation with me, and dont ask how im doing before going on about your shit, that conversation will end fairly fast because as far as im concerned that's not a conversation thats you just talking and expecting me to listen.

Similarly, if you tell me a time for something and you are then OVER HALF AN HOUR LATE before telling me you're running late, i will be fucking mad as you dont respect my goddamn time. I dont MIND the being late, just give me a heads up so im not sat waiting for your unorganised ass.

This has been a really passive aggressive psa from a tired grumpy gremlin

[shrewdle]

I just did a workout in the sweltering heat. I am a puddle but a proud puddle

[shrewdle]

Grad ball was wonderful and I'm honestly going to miss each one of them with all my heart oh my god i didnt ever think itd hit me so hard but im so fucking grateful to all the actors and to all my fellow tech who have been there for everything oh my god i will miss this place within an inch of its life and i have never been more grateful to a leap of faith because it has radically changed my life

[shrewdle]

I graduate from one of the top drama schools in the world today HOW DID THIS HAPPEN AHHHH

[shrewdle]

something i didnt expect

how much i fucking love my cast they're such darlings and so lovely and told me they loved me and im so fucking grateful to have been sm for them. this term has been such hell but this tour and hanging out properly with them has genuinely been worth it 💖💖💖

[shrewdle]

So today is world mental health day- Normally these kinds of days come and go and I try to carry on in my own way.

Currently though I feel that this is goddamn important to speak up about this.

So many people in my life suffer in some way/shape/form from mental health, as do I.

Depression and anxiety are absolute asswipes who love to say that I’m not good enough, that people hate me and that I’m a damn failure in all senses of the word.

Recently it’s been getting worse- I’m struggling to focus, can’t figure out even menial tasks and my brain wanders- my commute has tube trains…let’s just leave it there shall we.

When rational I can understand all of this and being a bad thought pattern and that it’s kinda bollocks (I mean I’m not perf but lets be real who is?) But when having a bad day/week/whatever it feels so incredibly real. Today was one of those days and I just broke before 10am and am convinced no one at school likes me.

I know that I'm currently in a bad spell and am aware things are sorta (definitely) taking their toll on me. I want to beat it and I want to get better in myself but it’s really hard to keep fighting when you’re taking 1 step forward 2 back.

So I guess the moral of this is please check in with people, and be kind to each other.

We all have baggage so help each other out to make it more manageable.

Be kind and be good to each other.

This has been dumb rants with Sashi x