#sasswithsugar

[gyronimo]

Thad Dinwiddie: So at the end of the aisle right next to the last one that leads into the back room, there's a display of Febreeze stuff that smells like Gain. I was sweeping the store and stopped at it to fix the display and said, in my best Thor voice, "THE POWERFUL SCENT OF GAIN" thinking there was no one in the store. I finished and came around the corner and he was just staring at me

Thad Dinwiddie: with that o_o face

jeen: OMFG

[gyronimo]

jaxisqueen said: I DON’T HEARA NY SOUND WTF

ARE SPEAKERS PLUGGED PROPERLY INTO TOASTER?

[gyronimo]

jaxisqueen said: PORN

YOU JUST WANT TO SEE ME TRY NOT TO LAUGH AND BE SUPER SERIOUS DON'T YOU

[gyronimo]

What any sensible person would yell into a giant cave on an island they just crashed their ship into. Walter is my spirit animal.

[gyronimo]

You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die? All I saw was my pathetic existence and every accumulative failure I've ever put people through.

I keep thinking that maybe if I'd been hurt or killed, I could have been fixed one way or another.

[gyronimo]

This morning a semi truck came off the highway and practically plowed into my far-right lane, taking my driver side mirror with it and nearly sucking my tiny Spark under it. The only reason it didn't was because I hit my brakes while laying on my horn {even though they didn't hear me, so they say}.

I've been regretting and cursing natural instinct since.

[gyronimo]

I present to you the many ways Mars could answer Jaxine.

The "are you fucking kidding me".

The "no I refuse".

And my favorite, the "never in a million years".

[gyronimo]

jaxisqueen said: {sylvester is the best ok}

{ except when i see him starving and being beaten and such }