💌 for a letter my muse would write to yours. (still doing these!)
dear yoojin,
i know i’m probably the last person you’d ever want to talk to. i wouldn’t blame you if i was. honestly, given our past, sometimes i wonder if i’m even worth communicating with. but, i felt like i at least owe you an explanation for what happened from my perspective. you can choose to reply or not. i don’t really know what to expect from you at this point because it’s been a while.
i’m sorry. for all i’ve done, i mean.
i’m sorry for not being the friend i should’ve been even after what happened between this. i thought that if i acted as if we were normal buddies that it’d ruin something or bring up a misunderstanding... in case there were any to come up after that.
i’m sorry i drifted off from you. i know that was a dick move on my part, especially after getting to know you and be close to you. that’s probably one of the biggest regrets i have about this. i still miss when we were close. when we had each other. when i would be able to go to you whenever i needed someone. even if i didn’t need someone.
yoojin, i don’t hate you. i never hated you. and i never stopped caring about you either. you mean more to me than you know.
the hills outside of seoul could be beautiful. minsu could be enjoying himself. he could bask in the soft night breeze and hold onto the boy next to him. he could be doing any of those things.
but he’s not.
instead, his shirt is sticking to his back in sweat and he’s fighting for his breath, shovel heavy in his hands.
instead, his boots are dirty and hoojin is upset. he’s upset.
not because of what he’s doing-- no, this was a long time coming.
he’s upset because hoojin is upset and he has absolutely no reason to be.
minsu takes a deep breath and perches himself on the edge of his open truck. it’s dark here, off the beaten path, no one would know. there are so many things he should be concerned about-- the fact that he’s an accessory to murder, that the sick soul who got it was his boss, the fact that it would be so easy to trace him to any of this, but the only real thing on his mind is hoojin.
“c’mere, baby.” it’s the first thing said between them in hours, since the other had called him crying and minsu didn’t hesitate to drop everything to come to his aid. nor did he dwell on the fact that it was him that hoojin called, just the bar bouncer he’s been messing around with behind his boyfriend’s back.
well, ex-boyfriend.
but he’s still stated when the other gives in to his request, gathering the other boy under his arm. it’s a bit chilly up here. “you did well.” which is not the sort of thing he should praising the other for. “i’m proud of you.” but he can’t let go of the selfish little curl of relief in his chest, the thought that now, there’s no one to lay an unkind hand on the other, no one to get in his way of tilting his chin up, pressing chapped lips against soft ones, no matter how uncalled for it was at the moment.
“he had it comin’“ is what minsu whispers when he takes just a second to breathe. “and i’m so proud of you for givin’ it to him.”
cal had always been someone who was sensitive. that wasn’t really news to everyone. though the boy always liked to make it seem as if he was strong, there are moments in which he wished he could be stronger. whenever he wasn’t shown appreciation for his efforts, he would get down in the dumps. hell, his past was already painful as it was solely because of the fact that he was affected for being a flaw to everyone else around him. and heartbreak was practically his number one enemy. having felt it a numerous amount of times in the form of rejection, one of his greatest fears, he obviously hated that feeling the most in the world.
it’s not the first time that cal had experienced heartbreak when it came to yoojin. but to be frankly honest, he had wished to never experience that again.
but this time, it came to its new form.
this fight wasn’t like anything he’s experienced in the dueling club, when he was still a member. hell, he doesn’t even remember going through a fight like this in dada class. with the preparation he had gotten, he wasn’t sure if he could win this fight against the dark wizard that was after him. he wasn’t even sure why this man wanted him dead so bad.
but he was getting weakened. that was obvious enough. he’s sure even the man’s minions could see that, as they were encouraging the other to finish him
this is it. he thought to himself. i’m finally going to die.
emphasis on the thought.
he closes his eyes, waiting it to be done with so that he wouldn’t have to witness the exact moment of it happening. what he does hear though is the sound of another person being struck and a familiar yelp of pain follow right after it.
he opens his eyes as he looks to see yoojin above him, slowly falling to the ground next to him. cal’s eyes widen as he watches the other’s eyes start to water from the pain and he weakly pushes himself to rush over to him. as he weakly makes his way to the other, his focus centers on him, barely even noticing his other friends trying to beat the shit out of the man who had done this to him.
“yoojin! yoojin, yoojin, please! please stay with me!” he says frantically feeling his throat close up the longer he looks at the other slowly losing his energy with each millisecond.
“cal,” he responds, his voice sounding feeble from the effect the move had done on him. “you’re okay.”
“shut up, moron! you’re not!” he shouts at him, tears spilling after he says that. “why did you do that?!”
“i d-don’t have much going for me,” he answers. “my parents are dead. everyone i know was waiting for this to happen anyways, right?” he laughs. “those people who always said shit about them or me... they’ll say that the world will be better with me g-gone.”
“fuck those people! i could’ve taken the fall for you, you asshole!” he says, almost choking on his words. “your parents would want you to keep on living on! you still are apart of the newspaper team! and the duelling club! people need you!” he sobs as he says the next words. “yoojin, i need you.”
his face falls when cal says that and the other begins to shed tears as well as cal holds him in his arms. “i-i’m sorry,” he winces. “i care about you too much to get you hurt. i-i,” he gasps for air. “i don’t have much time left.”
cal shakes his head as he holds the other tightly. “please... no,” he whimpers. “yoojin, please. don’t.”
“can you do one more thing for me?” he asks with what little strength he has left. the other boy nods at his response. “kiss me? before i go.”
cal doesn’t even think of it for a second as he leans in to place his lips on the other’s. he’s never kissed someone like this before. with as much desperation as he implores fate to continue keeping yoojin alive. and though it’s weak, his heart feels at ease when yoojin kisses him back, holding onto his arm tightly as well.
cal pulls away when yoojin’s hand falls to his side. no sound was louder than cal’s wails in agony.
