Apr 17
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Workplace Selfie Dump🤓
Darkbound Fan fic
... @hoodnot
Aasgo did not have many expectations for that afternoon. He’d listen to the sounds of the storm outside while reading one of his many tomes on forbidden dark magic. He’d have Saymore, his golem fetch him more of those tasty Dorito things and summon his two newest fighters into the room and watch them argue and possibly beat each other up (because live entertainment is a hard thing to pass up).
But instead, he watched as his newest fighter, Cici, the blind cyclops, frantically dashed around a room, tripping over furniture, smacking into walls and basically being the opposite of a skilled stealth killer like he knew her to be thorough his crystal ball, his crystal golem glowing a yellow green color with concern.
He’d heard random thudding for a bit and at first he thought it was some other hero trying to try to take him down, only for him to hear his second newest fighter Hearye, the deaf knight, shout, “WHAT ON EARTH?!”
Then he pulled out the crystal ball and decided that watching some live entertainment like this was okay too.
“FOR GOODNESS SAKES, WOMAN!” Hearye bellowed as he grabbed her arm, stopping her from slamming herself into another wall, “WHY ARE YOU CAUSING SUCH A RUCKUS AND SLAMMING INTO EVERYTHING, ARE YOU BLIND?!”
“YES!” she shouted back,obviously irritated by the question, “I TOLD YOU THIS EARLIER, ARE YOU DEAF?”
“WHAT?” He cried, “I CAN’T HEAR YOU, I’M DEAF!”
“You’re both idiots.” He groaned with a gnarled hand to the opening in his hood. Saymore hovered above him, ever silent, but ever obvious in his body language in his desire to go to them and break them up.
“Give them a moment.” He instructed, Saymore’s crystal head bobbed in understanding as they continued to watch. Cici pouted at Hearye, well, she could have been scowling, but her one eye was covered in bandages as always and it was difficult to tell sometimes... Also it had been awhile since he last had to decipher the facial expressions of one eyed creatures... well, other than their pained and tortured expressions anyway...
Not that Hearye seemed to notice, Aasgo didn’t need to be as powerful as he was to know that underneath that helmet and armor was a young man who was very dense. It would take some serious strikes to get through that thick skull.
Just as he thought that, Cici whammed her fist into Hearye’s helmet, “LET GO OF ME! I NEED TO GET TO THAT BABY!!” She cried as she struggled to pull herself free of his grip as he staggered, a bit dizzy from the impact of the blow to his helmet.
“Baby?” Aasgo repeated. gently tapping on his crystal ball to silence the exchange between his two idiots and listened carefully, his otherworldy powers allowing him to hear all over his castle...
When he heard an infant’s cry by the front door. How by the many hells and heavens did he miss that?
Aasgo hissed out some ancient swears and told Saymore to, “Separate the fools, I will attend to the baby.”
Saymore’s floating crystal head bobbed again as his massive crystal body flew out of the room.
Aasgo quickly murmured an old spell and appeared at his front door to see a wet infant howling in the blankets and the basket left on his doorstep... a line of ancient dark magic connecting him with the crying child.
“Oh...” he murmured, almost amused, “What do we have here?” He asked as he carefully picked up the baby from it’s little nest, the little one wiggling from cold, hunger and discomfort in his arms as he inspected the magic bond between them.
Their lives, their lifeforces and their very souls were connected by this magic and it didn’t take much to realize why this connection was there and why some fool had left the baby on his doorstep.
They had done this to kill him. They had connected his lifeforce to this baby’s to try and kill him, only to chicken out and leave the helpless creature at his door, hoping he’d simply off the baby and himself.
Ha! The fools...
Did they really think he wouldn’t notice the powerful magic they had used? That he would chose to end her and his own life so foolishly?
No. No, those pathetic ‘heroes’ had just left a chance at immortality on his doorstep and he wasn’t going to simply pass that up! He would care for and raise the child. Maybe he could raise her to aid him in his usual duties of spreading chaos, madness, death and destruction. That would be fun. Nice Daddy-daughter bonding.
He pulled the baby closer and watched as the basket sunk into a dark portal to an empty bedroom. He’d have the two idiots set it up for the baby later. He then walked back into the house and made his way to the kitchen to make her something to eat and dry it off a bit. He’d need blankets and clothes for her, but one thing at a time. He gently bounced the infant in his arms, cooing, “There, there, I know, I know, those people were dreadful. Binding an innocent little soul like you to a creature like me. But don’t you worry. We’ll have so much fun making them suffer, it will make up for all the discomfort they put you through!” The baby started to calm down a bit as she clung to him, Aasgo noticing that the baby’s eyes and hair were completely black, revealing the connection to him so clearly that he seriously had no idea how they would think he wouldn’t notice...
He stopped in a doorway where Saymore was steadying Hearye with one arm and holding a bloody Cici back by pressing her against his body with his other arm, “Saymore! I need to help that baby! The poor thing could die if they stay there for too long!” she cried as she struggled to free herself.
“The baby is fine, Cici.” Aasgo said, still bouncing the baby.
“Milord!” she cried, almost in tears with joy, “Thank you so much!”
“WHY IS THERE A BABY IN THE HOUSE?!” Hearye asked.
He smiled under his cloak as the baby began to make contented noises in his arms and several letters appeared on the wall, spelling out an explanation for his knight to shout out for Cici to understand as Saymore began to glow a blood red.
“THEY BONDED YOUR LIVEFORCE TO THIS BABY’S AND LEFT HER OUTSIDE THINKING YOU WOULD KILL HER?” He bellowed, his voice furious and even louder than normal.
“THEY WHAT?!” Cici blurted, outraged.
“WHAT?” Hearye said, not knowing what words just came out of her mouth, but knowing she said something because her lips moved. He could read lips a bit, but he had totally missed hers moving until the last second.
“Calm yourselves.” Aasgo ordered, the three wincing at the command, but obeyed.
“We will handle it in due time,” Aasgo told them, a new message appearing behind him, relaying the words as he spoke “But for now, I need the both of you,” He pointed to Cici and Hearye, “to set up a room for her.”
The two nodded vigorously and Hearye led the way to the rooms, grabbing the cyclop’s hand as he did so, “GOOD THING I MADE PLENTY OF QUILTS!” He shouted. Cici right behind him blurting out, “Wait! We need to make a crib first!” as they turned around the bend of a spiral staircase, their shouting echoing off of the stone of the castle walls before another pound of a fist against metal was heard.
“Saymore, would you mind making some warm milk for the child?” He asked his golem, who shined a bright giddy pink and zoomed towards the kitchen, eager to please.
Aasgo looked down at the little one in his arms, “I think you’ll do just fine here.” he purred as he bounced her again, getting a little laugh this time.
I OWN NOTHING BUT THE BLIND AND DEAF IDIOTS AND THE PILE OF LIGHT UP CRYSTAL!!
Everything else is @hoodnot‘s
@hoodnot I tried my best, Armor and weapons are not my strong suit...
I dunno if Cici or Hearye are technically allies or his followers, but since Cici doesn’t exactly show off her blind eye, often using bandages (i had them rip off for comical effect, but yeah, she always hides her eye) or an eye mask or her hair or whatever she can get her hands on to cover it up. And Hearye is a weirdo who is pretty much never seen without his armor. So no one can see for sure or not if they are followers or not. If they are, they were probably about ten times more loud and crazy before he added them to his roster.
I almost feel sorry for Aasgo if that is the case... almost.
Saymore is a crystal golem made by Aasgo, so it’s kinda gonna follow his orders anyway. It doesn’t need to be made into a follower or a servant, it will most likely kinda just die the moment he dies anyways since Aasgo made it. Either that or Saymore would wander the planet until the leftover magic Aasgo left in it runs out. Then it’ll die. Either way, Aasgo’s death = Saymore’s death, so it’s not all that different from being a follower.
And yes, Hearye’s voice is Morty’s shouting/screaming voice.
Summer 2026 Goals:
1. More Whimsy✨️
im literally just me.
Me.
ME.
how could you hate that?
oh, i know.
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