S. A. D.
I thought i had it all but i am still lonely. Maybe because it is human nature to crave for more, for that is where the drive to succeed comes from. As for my case, i cant point out where my sadness comes from. With everything that i have, melancholy still found its way to creep into my system which is unexplainable. Then i realized, i am alone. Have you ever had that feeling of 300+ phone contacts, 1000+ fb friends, 300+ twitter friends, 400+ ig friends, a boyfriend and a complete family but still feel left out? I always tell them, we are born alone but i cant walk the talk. What i want is consistency. I want something constant. I want someone to be there for me but it is quite tragic for i felt like everything is slipping through my fingers. With my age, i thought i am independent. But i started to hate goodbyes, last leaf of the book, the rain, the night, for it means i will have to be with myself again. I am thankful for the thousand blessings i received. I am beyond grateful for the people who surround me but i am disappointed with myself, with what i turned out to be. With what i have done with the blessings instead of cherishing it. I ask the divinity, do i really deserve all these? I am so sorry to say that i failed some people. I did unacceptable things but the people closest to me still embraced me fully. My thoughts are quite jumbled with the upcoming turn of the year, but i still want to take this opportunity to send the love i always want to give the people around me. Iloveyou all. Thank you for understanding, when i cant understand. Thank you. Sayonara 2016!