that feeling when

i hope someday you will find this space Tweets by mynameisella

[aropride]

the thing about autism is you end up struggling with understanding really basic instructions and tasks bc of how often something is "implied" but not stated and you're the only one who doesn't know that when you're told "do A, then do B," it actually means "do A, unless B is more important, which you will have to figure out on your own based on some implicit and unexplained rule, and also sometimes you don't even have to do B at all, depending on circumstances that have never been explained to you, and sometimes you also have to do C, but we aren't going to even tell you about C." and then you do something wrong and people are like "well why didn't you do this obvious common sense thing that nobody ever told you was an option." so you end up questioning everything because you never know what has some secret other unspoken stipulation or whatever. and then you end up spending half your life asking questions like 'if the prepaid return box says "no postage necessary if mailed in the united states' and i am mailing in the united states does that mean i don't need postage"

[neverthegoodguy]

Attraction isn’t something that only happens once, with one person. It’s part of what drives humans. Our attraction to each other, to art, to food, to entertainment. Attraction is fun. So when you decide to commit to someone, you aren’t saying, ‘I promise I’ll never be attracted to anyone else.’ You’re saying, ‘I promise to commit to you, despite my potential future attraction to other people.’”

Relationships are hard for that very reason. Your body and your heart don’t stop finding the beauty and the attraction in other people simply because you’ve made a commitment to one person. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re drawn to someone else, it’s up to you to remove yourself from that situation before it becomes too hard to fight.

[poems-and-word]

Poems & Words

[thehopefulquotes]

“She doesn’t want to hear that she is flawless. She wants to hear that she is loved regardless of her flaws.”

— charmingwinds

[poems-and-word]

Poems & Words

[ohgaylor]

castles crumbling 🤝 nothing new 🤝 the archer 🤝 dear reader 🤝 mirrorball 🤝 anti-hero 🤝 coney island 🤝 you're on your own kid 🤝 this is me trying

[ellathegreatest]

I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO SAY.

[taylorswift]

It’s here. It’s yours, it’s mine, it’s ours. It’s an album I wrote alone about the whims, fantasies, heartaches, dramas and tragedies I lived out as a young woman between 18 and 20. I remember making tracklist after tracklist, obsessing over the right way to tell the story. I had to be ruthless with my choices, and I left behind some songs I am still unfailingly proud of now. Therefore, you have 6 From The Vault tracks! I recorded this album when I was 32 (and still growing up, now) and the memories it brought back filled me with nostalgia and appreciation. For life, for you, for the fact that I get to reclaim my work. Thank you a million times, for the memories that break our fall. 💥🐉🏰  Speak Now (MY VERSION!) is out now. 

http://taylor.lnk.to/SpeakNowTaylorsVersion

PC: Beth Garrabrant 

[taylorswift]

I’m enchanted to announce my next tour:  Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour, a journey through the musical eras of my career (past and present!) The first leg of the tour will be in stadiums across the US, with international dates to be announced as soon as we can! Feeling like the luckiest person alive because I get to take these brilliant artists out on tour with me: Paramore, beabadoobee, Phoebe Bridgers, girl in red, MUNA, HAIM, GAYLE, Gracie Abrams and OWENN. I can’t WAIT to see your gorgeous faces out there. It’s been a long time coming 🥰

https://verifiedfan.ticketmaster.com/TaylorSwiftTix

[taylorswift]

Bejeweled video is out NOW! Directed by this tired tacky wench. Got to make this with my best friends The Haim Sisters, greatest of greats Laura Dern, icon of burlesque and glamour Dita Von Teese, genius and actual dame Pat McGrath and my partner in Midnights mayhem Jack Antonoff. Love you guys so much. Stay sparkly out there. 😘

http://taylor.lnk.to/bejeweledmusicvideo

[ellathegreatest]

📸 Ninang @brettiecatie_ (at Rockwell Center, Makati City) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXiyRtfvAdg/?utm_medium=tumblr

[poemswords]

[ellathegreatest]

I asked myself before, what if a tattoo artist was near me?

I got my answer this year.

[quotemadness]

“I love that word. Forever. I love that forever doesn’t exist, but we have a word for it anyway, and use it all the time. It’s beautiful and doomed.”

— Viv Albertine

[ellathegreatest]

New set of tatts and i'm loving it! 💕

Edited by: Jay Limwell

[ellathegreatest]

To make things short,I was tested positive for CoVid last 30 March 2021. My first reaction was to cry my heart out- and leave the place altogether. I am asymptomatic. I do not have any symptoms. I am here all alone in my apartment, wondering if I'll develop symptoms, guilty for anyone who I may have infected, scared by anyone who may have infected me.

So, now i barricaded myself and will be stuck here for 14 days. Today is Day 4 and I am physically healthy. I just look forward to small miracles, I have supportive neighbours who always check up on me, my bestfriend (who experienced the same thing) understands me, my family loves me, my kumare always did not ostracise me, my limited circle of friends whom I informed did not judge me, I am healthy, I am still able to live another day.

Then again, this pandemic has been terrorising the planet for a year already. I envy other countries for getting back to normal at this point, while my country is back to square one- no definite plans, using military to fight it(how the hell will guns save infected persons?), incompetent implementers, and a leader who does not lead and bothers himself with trivial things.

Suffice it to say, this government failed us. This government continues to hurt its people rather than save them. With the surge of "positive" people, and the time that passed to solve or the very least alleviate the problem, this government made things worse. How? By alienating those who really need the help, ignoring the pleas of experts in the health department who clearly knows better (mass testing anyone?) and inconsidering the people who are only barely getting by.

I am fortunate about the things I mentioned above, I would not blame anyone for me getting sick, but I blame the government for putting false advertisements that they are able to handle this shit. They did not! Our hospitals are full, people die because of lack of health care! To top it off, we loaned billions! Where it went? I do not know.

All we have now are what ifs.

They are accountable for what is happening and all we get are less than what we deserve. I cry for people who got it worse, I am not an ingrate, I am a Filipino citizen who cries foul for every wrongdoing done to our countrymen by people who do not deserve their positions. Please, next election, be wiser.

[ellathegreatest]

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!

It may seem off putting that I am celebrating this but in my 27 years, this is the first time that I left my comfort zone. It is scary as it is exciting and I am looking forward to the things I'll experience. So, this year, I signed my first lease! I wonder before how this is a big deal abroad and they do it at as soon as they turn 18?  Is it something to be proud of? I literally brought everything that I can from my room into the apartment I am renting and I still feel something's missing. 

I organized my room already and I can already visualize how I will fill it with things to make it more livable. As of the moment, it is so bare and I have more skincare products than necessities. I don't even have food! 

I am so thankful to Kuya Paul and Ate Shiela's family for guiding me all throughout the transition period. They helped me find the apartment, transfer my things and they even saved a space for my car to park. They are just like a family. They always think of my safety. I am so grateful and I love the kids in their household, Hailey, david, Dylan, Gabgab and tantan. (Don't tell them that my fave is Gabgab.)

I felt elated when I fixed my first electric fan. I thought I was able to assemble it and voila less than an hour later its fan broke because I was dumb enough to not know where the washer and screw go. Thankful for Kuya Paul for not letting me sleep in hell because he did all he can to find me  replacement fan! and now I am basking to no. 3 wind! 

I spent my first weekend at their home! The cool from their airconditioner is priceless because with the heat here? I'm gonna melt in no time. Like I just went down to meet the food deliverer and my sweat is more than I ever sweated when I was in Batangas. 

I am glad that as of the moment, the heat here is bearable. I was able to sleep (with little idiosyncrasies but will not tell because it will be TMI) but I am surviving :) I love this independence. Yes it is hard, I still cry with every lonely bite that I take. I even cried whilst driving last Thursday to get to my apartment. I'm still the lazy girl that I am glad Kuya Paul is unfazed by the dirt of my apartment when he delivered the water and fan. 

I am still adjusting to this new life. Solitude and independence are new concepts to me but I am thriving. With all the support that I am getting, I know I can and I must and I will.