Mid-summer Update (South Carolina)
So it's been about 6 weeks since I last posted... And it would be a severe understatement to say that a lot has changed. Honestly so much has been going on, it's hard to know where to start. Well, first things first, beach project has been one of the hardest things I've committed to in my life. If you know me on a relatively close level, you know that I rarely commit. I'm more into possibilities, strong whirlwinds of the star-studded unexpected. Committing to: spending 8 weeks with people I don't know, living in a cramped room with 3 other girls, working a full-time job requiring manual labor, bending to the authority of other college students not much older than me, adhering to a strict schedule demanding early mornings and late nights, living in the South, having a dress code........ It really hasn't been easy. Not to complain, but just to be honest, I've been challenged in ways I didn't expect. Which particularly rings true because I didn't have many expectations for project. That's not to say I wasn't excited for it- I just honestly did not know what it was going to be like. Committing to the mental, financial, spiritual, and physical demands before knowing just what they were... It's been a good lesson haha. But, the biggest lesson I've learned during my time here is how much being uncomfortable grows you. At Georgetown, sophomore year was a very bright time, abundantly... Fun, for lack of better wording. Over the year, I had stretched my roots out and fell into the soil of deep, rich comfort. Which definitely spoiled me a bit. Not that being comfortable is necessarily wrong- Georgetown has become such a second home for me, when I'm homesick here in S. Carolina, I yearn for it almost as often as I do my actual home in Maryland. I'm so grateful for all the experiences that have led me to call the Hilltop my second home, and my college friends my extended family. But, being uncomfortable is much more effective for spurning individual growth. It is so inherently valuable in how it forces you to reflect on yourself. As you juxtapose comfort and discomfort, you learn about what you lean on for security, what brings you happiness, and when you feel safest. As you try and pinpoint why exactly you feel uncomfortable in a circumstance, you become aware of your previous comfort and just how you've been living without change. I said earlier that I love possibility. But when I imagine new possibilities, I tend to forget that deep change is actually uncomfortable. Change is, at the essence, something new, something we have to adjust to, grow to fit, until we can become comfortable once again. At project I've been slowly growing comfortable, being more vulnerable, open to others. I've been growing in patience, compassion, generosity, and love. I've also been able to meet truly awesome people I otherwise would not have had the chance to get to know. There have been delightfully warm moments at project like sandy prayer walks along the beach and convicting time in Colossians, as well as strikingly painful moments, like my deep frustrations towards my roommates and dark desires to ditch project and sleep the rest of summer away. Through it all, I've been able to learn more about myself and, more importantly, about Christ. God has been faithful and I am elated to be in a place where so many others are seeking after Him. The building up of the Body is worth it.
