#scaramouchexfem!reader

[miiserableee]

( POLAR MYSTIQUE ) ▸ CINCO : ! ( quatro ) / ( cero )

scaramouche × fem!reader ! ( summary ) a finalizing shot shooted from your very perspective . the overall concoction of your every ions throughout the whole series alongside the closing of the curtains ! ( mentions ) of reader always being drunk these recent chapters smh x2 ! a very altruistic reader !emotional reader ! overly understanding of others reader ! ooc scara ! very very ooc scara ! ( 7.3k words )

𖥼 , WATER UP EM FLOWERS !

YOU WOKE up , finally . not to say you can stand anytime now soon though . not with him holding you so tightly like this . like his hold on the very first gift you gave him . a well earned wristwatch that until now , he still wore .

you never even knew he liked wristwatches . you just , liked him having them on . you liked it when he had rings on too . you liked whatever he wore , he knew how to style himself . you liked how he's very neat and maintaining of his everyday fit . how he would cuss whenever there's an abundance of crease on his overly pressed top . but wouldn't mind it when you hug those creases into a crumple scape of softness when you meet after a day or two of not being able to .

there wasn't much that you did that he disliked . yes , he would click his tongue and glare at you all jokingly but , it never passed by your line of sight , the streak of blush that appears on his face the moment he becomes conscious of how close you place yourself around him . no matter how deep or light , it never ceased to make you smile and grin to tease him more . you can't believe it , really . that this dude would actually end up liking you romantically .

when did you start to realize he felt that way ? you weren't dense , being raised having only one older brother who raised you all your life , you were pretty observant and particular about everyone who steps in your days and tries to be words in the chapters that creates who you are . you were quick to take on why he looks at you like that . why whenever you're together it's like you're the only one in the world his eyes can see . why when he has to hold onto you under the excuse of keeping track of you , his fingers found it reasonable to seep in between the gaps of yours . why no matter what nonsense you say , and he grumbles to shut you up , he still remembers every bit .

scaramouche is a tough nut to crack . he has this shell no nut cracker invented can make a dent on . you always figured that was alright . as his friend , you , just had to accept him and all he is . not that , that was any hard to do . completely not so when he's always doing so many things for you , in return .

maybe you noticed completely , just how big of a crack you made in his shell , during high school . you kept quiet about it . since you didn't want to seem , assuming . you weren't really sure anyways . how can he even feel that way about you ? as long as you've known , he's had everything . looks , brains , money and fame . your balanced bickering always consisted of him bragging . you were made aware of just how far his existence as a person is from you .

you pondered long and hard just how he could come to like you . you thought you'd stay pondering for as long as you can live by his side as some childhood friend , but it became hard to label his intentions about you vague when he acts like your boyfriend on several takes life had filmed you both in .

always , you two , were always mistaken to be lovers . you always thought you looked a lot more like bestfriends or siblings but perhaps not so much . what do you know about looking like bestfriends and stuff ? it's not like you've had that much friends besides him . your brother was also starkly different from scaramouche . scaramouche also despised being mistaken as your brother .

"In what ways do we look alike ?!"

he'd grumble to you after being told that in the campus for the umpteenth time every semester , when freshmen comes and wag their curious tails . sparkling eyes absolutely entranced into the dark path of flailing and wobbling , in an attempt to identify what you two are to each other . you would just feast on what he's bought for you and listen to him ramble away . his nose would scrunch at some moments , his eyes would look piercing one second and gentle next , his lips would be all moving , expressive as he is .

you loved watching him be himself .

you didn't think much of that those moments though . you didn't think much of how what he used as a fabric conditioner was your favorite scent . you didn't meddle on the idea that he bought a bed too big for just him and invites you over , subtly loves you being there but chases you out as soon as the moon peeks over . you just took everything for granted . as that's what felt , what you needed to do those times .

there was never a moment you were alone because he existed . he would always message you about things you were told , only lovers would text each other about . you'd only laugh at whoever commented and brush it aside . he was only asking if you're free this saturday and that he wants to buy something for you .

you were always a give and take person . so just as he showered you with all , whatever those was to him and you , you tried your best to give him some things too . like gifts and time , all your time . you were also there for him in his moments of hardships , you were there for him even when you didn't need to be there . just as he is to you .

at some point , you began feeling something you didn't wish you felt . greed . unnecessary greed . you thought it was an emotion so , murky and bothersome . like it was in a pot of green gooey stuff you couldn't identify but had to deal with . you were a listless sophomore and stirring that pot with a ladle of silver shining confusion , threads and slivers of unknown and unidentified emotions , was mixed and you were what's reflected above that abomination .

you were caught up in the steam and hit with the things you never thought of as deeply . what did you think of scaramouche ? what did you view him as ? what did you want him to be to you ? and , whatever , really did you want to be to him ?

before he was just some childhood friend that was conveniently always there . nothing more , nothing less . until that became the reason he became so much more and never near any less .

you wondered about it so much that it affected you quite a bit . your brother constantly asked why you were frowning , and to stop with getting your brows all furrowed . you just laughed it off and said it was nothing . but it definitely wasn't nothing .

then , came your moment of enlightenment . your shove away from the blinding blaze of the sun , what caused your densest arc yet . xiao's confession . xiao's confession was , unexpected . to you , at least . you have witnessed yourself just how close he is with venti , how in love they are , not that you cared much about that before as it felt normal .

he confessed to you , on a dazed dawn . it was as early as you can tell , you were even half asleep . when he told you , he loved you . love ? you remember just how your pitch black sleeping viewing glitched and the word etched in a nerve in your brain as you looked at him .

in those amber eyes of spring . you weren't one to be dense . yes . you weren't . you were just quick to judge and you're stubborn to your judgments . there was never a moment where you didn't feel warm around xiao . warm in a sense that you felt cared for . similar to how you feel with , scaramouche .

it's just that , there was something special in that warmth , scaramouche offers .

that you didn't waste a second to reject xiao , with not in mind his love with venti but with the feeling of warmth spreading along you from the very core of your body as you remember ,

scaramouche .

you finally understood the greed , the murky green in the pot is finally being mixed into something silky smooth . you finally , understood .

you love scaramouche .

that's why you felt everything to be in place when he's around . that's why you loved that he was always there . that's why even in your most vulnerable moment , you run to him and no one but him for help . that's why you never pulled away from his obvious , clumsy advances . that's why .

however , scaramouche ended up knowing about the confession . how ? who knows . he just did . xiao didn't give up and confessed one more time and , you rejected him , one more time . you didn't feel any sort of disgust with how he was capable of loving you as he so claims , while having venti's heart in his palms . you take it by rule to try and understand everybody you cherish , no matter how much or little you find in them to treasure .

you finally came to terms with your own feelings . now it was just , scaramouche . what does he think of you ? you weren't stupid , again , not dense either , well , not when it comes to other people . all those years , you knew you were something special to scaramouche . you knew you weren't just some academic rival anymore and you clearly , weren't some bestfriend he hits up whenever he's free . not when he's always the one loosening his tight schedule to squeeze as much time with you as he can .

you knew you were more than something simple to him .

you were so sure , until , he started suddenly dating more women , like more . he had this habit before of dating women completely opposite of you and showing them off , only to you . you never minded that though , meaning , you were still able to ignore the tugs at your heart whenever you saw a woman completely fitting of him , being with him . this was one of the reasons why you were never able to concrete that he loves you , the same way you just realized you felt for him .

you ignored it , you were attending so many dates every month with him , like an idiot of a third wheel , totally unneeded . you can't even decline , not when he asks like he'll die if you don't agree . you're the one feeling like dying whenever you went , though . it didn't seem much at first , but all the hurt you felt eventually turned into one huge ache that stumbled upon choosing to crash you too alongside the news of your brother , getting married .

truly enough , getting wed , married , settled , was never anywhere near being a funeral or a farewell . it was supposed to be a happy point in one's life , quite an important one too , your brother deserved to have those . you shouldn't be crying over being left in the house . you shouldn't be crying thinking about how there's missing pieces that complete everything . you should be weeping gleeful tears over the idea that , your beloved brother was starting a new puzzle in his new arc in life . him needing to take back his pieces is supposed to be a natural thing . what pieces will he complete his puzzle with if you're selfishly taking a hold of them ?

you weren't wishing your brother to stay with you for as long as you breathe and live . the sudden change just , hit you like an eight wheeler truck . similar to that time when you thought he was dying or dead in a deathbed in a hospital during high school . that was one heck of a moment . scaramouche was there for you then .

you expected him to be there when you slid open that door anyway . you were also expecting him to be there for you this time too . but there was this big lump in your throat . heavy rings on your fingers . you didn't contact him for days . remembering how you saw him smiling and all willy-nilly about a necklace he bought for his girlfriend , that girl with bleached fluffy hair , hoop earrings , and pretty stare .

you just , didn't want to bother him anymore . thinking to yourself that you were wrong after all . he wouldn't be in love with you , not at all . why would he be ? you have nothing for him . nothing . just as he's everything , your everything , to him you felt as though you were but a hollow of dim nothing .

drinking may have been a bad choice of distraction , it may have turned into a nasty habit . having stared at the same white foam countless of times despite having only drank out a handful of times . mindlessly chugging beers away and trying to run from drowning feelings . drinking is fun . something like a zip-line , going through one and screaming your lungs out cause damn ?! what if the safety gears broke or something ? what if you fall down the vast of water or land , whatever you had below you ?! but because of the inkling of being dragged to somewhere with ground your feet can feel , you just shout like there's no tomorrow and forget everything . for a moment , until you were no longer afloat mid air on a string and shit .

drinking was like that , for you at least .

yeah , you really shouldn't have taken up drinking . what's with that analogy ? you only drank in the bar xiao worked in . you have rejected him , yes , but he was still one of your most trusted friends . well , there's also the fact that he has this vehement feeling of responsibility to pay for every glass you chugged , to which your wallets sing hallelujah for , and besides , scaramouche would get furious if you drank elsewhere under no one at all's care .

how arrogant of you , to think that he'd actually care the same amount he nags . you weren't aware that venti called him to pick you up or whatever . you were too busy drinking and talking to the bartender—who you knew months later was named diluc who was also the owner—about stupid things like how you liked the color lavender and indigo to be the color of every flower and momentum of every sky you see in the world . he asked why so , so monotone , you , a drunk bastard that time , didn't care and only ever answered ,

that it was because those were the colors you see most whenever you're with the one you love . you'd love to be surrounded by the sight , reminded by his tangible existence , no matter where you are , how you are , and who you become .

diluc , you weren't sure if your drunk memory is serving you right but , there was a faint smile in his face . you do remember for sure how he commented on that being , cheesy or lame , something along the lines of that . you didn't care , you were drunk .

sobered with exhilarating sensations yet ended up drunkenly crying more when scaramouche showed up . looking , mad ? is that the right word ? he kept scolding you on your way to his car . his car that you helped pick out , that he deliberately bought after you almost got molested once on an unfortunate tired late night , in your routined public transportation . he went on and on , saying you were too young to be drinking and you shouldn't have at all . you were too sad , pained and aching at heart's every pumping artery to fully care for all he's had to say . it's hard to settle the raging emotions too when one of the complex substances of the mix was right beside you , holding your hand with blurring vagueness . the vagueness you once found the most comforting set of lenses to look at .

you wanted solace with the ever so calm kazuha . always just words in books and literature paired with , the most calm and peaceful thinking . voice ever so soothing . kazuha at that moment , was the most comfortable lap pillow . and you knew how he is as a person , always having a shoulder you can comfortably platonically plop your head on . absolutely all you had expected of him the moment he was introduced to you . the utter opposite of the scaramouche you've learned to love . almost like you , just , you weren't capable of achieving the latter part for , for yourself . how cruel .

scaramouche was cruel too , he didn't let you have your rest moment with the epitome of peace . you could only lean on the cold surface of the passenger seat , writhing in his coat and wondering , living in the moment that it smelt like him . though that was only the case after you pick apart the mixture scent of expensive cigarettes and alcohol all over it . must be , another one of those high-class days of his .

sigh .

you spoke of nonsensical things in the midst of all the thinking . it wasn't as though you wanted to talk a lot , you just , wanted out of your own tornado of thoughts . focusing on his click of tongues and cold answers , staring at the passing cars outside and the usual path home . home ? right . home .

you have to go home . in that place , the only place you've ever lived with your only family . what the heck . you continue saying whatever came to mind , you remembered it all , they weren't all so far from your usual ramblings , so you didn't pay it much mind . what cost all of your concern then ? perhaps how harsh scaramouche was with his rejection of keeping you , company . sure , you said you liked him . with snot and tears all over your face . with your hand on the hem of his sleeve and the most pitiful look of desperation .

but was it ever any part of his series of normals to deny heeding you of your wishes to be accompanied , even if just for a minute , a second ? when usually he was the one subtly inching you to stay with him every blinking minute in his breathing life . looking back , you also remember how a friend of your brother have said before , that humans imagine the unexpected so much , yet ironically the moment it befalls upon them they still ache as though they haven't invisioned its hits in every each way enough to take it . however , for you , the unexpected that you genuinely never had a reason and moment to even think of , thumped at your poor heart more .

you stayed bawling your eyes there for who knew how long , you were just , crying and crying , and crying again until you were sure you wouldn't have tears to shed in years time . in the back of your mind , you were waiting for the door to creak open and the hinge to squeak and for someone to caress each of your stained cheeks and tell you it's alright . you wished that someone would be scaramouche . no surprise in that drunken expectation , but no one came barging through the door that night , not a soul came to drip your ears with honey dipped words and feed you marshmallow comfort . what you had was yourself , in the very core middle of that old suffering small unit in an apartment complex you've lived all your years in .

the next day , you tried to act your best out of it . you talked to him like he didn't just tell you hours before at dusk that no matter if you pray to every shrine or not that he'd love you , it wouldn't happen . it wouldn't . you said you didn't remember shit that happened in your first ever drunk endeavour . even if the tone of his voice and the choice of his words have carved up its very own nest at the most dominant part of your brain . even if the carving has bled enough to make you pale at the face , have got you trembling internally whenever you met his gaze .

was that the right move to have been done ? you didn't know , you couldn't be bothered to figure out . a year passed soon enough and that incident , felt like it didn't happen . he was back to being who he was , a walking hot tempered yet gentle jerk who doesn't have anything else to whiff around than an abundance of mixed signals . you could only accept it all with gritted teeth and fisted palms . trying to keep an open mind .

just how much longer did you think you could pry your mind as open as you could ? did you ever stop and think it hurt you to do as you utmost can as long as you could ? it even came to the point where it pained you too much , that you just crouch down at times , wondering how long it has to go on .

you eventually , just learnt to accept it all , ignorance is bliss as some may say . you can't say you strongly approve of it but you don't go against it either . him laying off dating so many girls lasted a bit . it was always happening at the most random periods of time , it's gotten pretty tiring to guess when it happens and how long it'll last . you just , go along with every single whim , smile at every girl , and keep that smile until he drops you off at home .

you didn't mind that much anymore . you'd get sad , you'd mope about it at home , but that's as far as you went . you still hang out with him as more as you can and as you were already aware of how much you liked him those times at both ends , you found yourself falling for him deeper and deeper each passing day . quite a disadvantage when he always overdo the push and pull shit .

there were still times when you look at him for too long , you remember the words he said that night , and it'd hurt . it'd hurt so bad . you'd feel your heart clench , and breathing becomes the most alienated thing for a moment . and you'd ignore all his messages for a few days , only for him to barge in your home after a bit . frantic and absolutely looking like he's about to lose it if he loses you . holding all your favorite snacks and clutching at his keys , he'd often be on his motorcycle during those times . as if he had to be there by your side as fast as he could .

you wouldn't have kept the door open the first time , if he didn't look like a puppy so lost , standing there by the hall , the sun just about to rise and his eyes all baggy and his existence looking so edge-less . you hated yourself for not being able to resist him , and set him aside .

he'd keep asking you if something was going on , if you suddenly discovered you have a tumor or if you're dying because what the fuck could have been going on with you , to not , see him for more than a day ?

right , right .

you had to keep this stage of your relationship how it was years ago , no matter how much you wanted things to change , no matter how much you wanted your feelings reciprocated .

i love him .

three words that a part of you must have been whispering to all of you all those times you were with him . now the words that each part of you screams everyday . you've spent countless hours wondering if this feeling could ever disappear . you've spend numerous days wishing he was feeling the same . you wanted him to be yours , since you were long since fully his .

you think about him as soon as you wake up . wondering if he looks as groggy as the first time you've caught him freshly awaken . how did you do that again ? you wanted to surprise him with croissants your brother bought you , the croissants you've been craving for days .

those were the days you still weren't fully accepting of your feelings for him . yet there you were , ready to run streets to share fresh hot croissants with him . knowing damn well he could've bought the store your brother got them from . knowing damn well he knew that himself . knowing damn well that despite all that , he'd still eat it with you and listen to your grateful ramblings .

because that's just who he was as your scaramouche .

your loving scaramouche .

the only one you fit in every crevice of your heart . the only one with fucking constellations in their eyes . the only one you can never get tired of thinking and talking about . the only one you'd endure all this pain for . the only one you become stupid for . the only one you love . your one and only scaramouche .

you tried your best to never hinder him from anything . you would message first after just a day or two of not meeting . you would tell him everything , like he had asked you , that night , one page in your high school life , highlighted by dying streetlights .

you were everything but dating .

scaramouche didn't seem to want you that way . so you tucked yourself in and crossed your arms to hide away your feelings . you were sure you were contented with his small unreasonable outbursts of jealousy . you were sure you were contented with the exceptions .

you were so sure .

until he dismissed your mentioning of going on a blind date .

Yeah ? Wouldn't that be your first blind date ever ? he was so calm . you couldn't help your brows' twitching . your heart thumping down on the flat surface down your stomach . the butterflies swarming and wrecking havoc , tickling your lungs and racking your ribs .

he didn't care . maybe , maybe he never ever did .

Have fun . before , you had this cinch of believing that there was a chance , no matter how slim , thin and barely visible . you believed that there was a possibility that he liked you as you liked him . because , how else is he or anyone to explain all that he's been doing ?

believing , and believing , undeniably you were . hearing him single handedly turn you down , as if it's the easiest thing for him to do , as he stare off to the distance of the flowing river , as if what's uknown beyond there is more important to him than you'll ever be . you couldn't help the shattering of your poor heart .

he looked beautiful that night . painfully so .

that was the first time , in almost a decade of being together , did you not contact each other for more than three days . you didn't bother messaging , he didn't seem to mind . and you felt crushed , all over . your fragments becoming crackles in your pot , the stirring becoming eerie , you felt a distinct sense of neglect , beneath the very bottom of that searing well .

what's been cleared turned foggy again .

you kept your eyes on the mixture , begging it to be clear , begging to see reflections of your eyes stirred with hearts and sparkles again at the thought of him , but no matter how much you stirred , nothing changed . maybe this was really how it was supposed to be , maybe you were just destined to be left alone . maybe you were destined to that same spot in that same bar every same time , drinking about the same thing .

no matter how much you drunk . no matter how much you chugged . you couldn't forget his dismissal , you couldn't silence your thoughts , you couldn't ease your stinging wounds as the butterflies racked , not messing with your heart , but the nerves of your brain , tickling every vein into making you think this was supposed to be what's between you two anyways .

nothing .

no messages from him , no sudden house-visits , no calls during midnight , no picking you up after classes and shifts from work . maybe that's just how everything is supposed to be . maybe you should close the book already , perhaps it's the final chapter , the ending may not have been happy , but it is reality . you can never run from reality . you've known that way back .

reality does the chasing , you're always just bound to huffing and puffing , panting and out of breath , crying after getting caught by it .

you still remember how childish your antics were with xiao that night . you still remember how a part of it didn't feel that vivid and right . well yeah , of course you do , it all just happened last night .

and now , you stare at the big flat television . a familiar movie playing , lines and scenes replaying in your line of sight . you sit on the couch , lounging . like you own the place . you're wearing the clothes of the owner , so maybe rather than owning , you more so belong with the place , in the aspect of being his . it was past 4 in the afternoon . pretty late . you were wondering when the hell he'd wake up . about an hour ago .

you were also wondering if you should just head home . remembering how close he tried to keep you during his slumber though , you stray from the action and proceeded to just laze about his apartment instead . everything was almost the same as always . it wasn't that rare for you to be listless in his home , in his clothes , and with him rooms away or whatnot .

it'd check the list of being completely the same as usual if you two didn't have that confession to each other , hours ago . your brain still flashes through the drunken memory every few minutes or so . the fluffy pillows and encasing blankets smelling like him didn't help much either .

the ever so eternal monster swarm of butterflies have been warping a hurricane up your stomach and you can't do anything but let it happen . it's almost amusing how it seems to be heated by the rising temperature of your body as you remember his reciprocation . although late and paid with not just a few years of tears and ache , it was all worth it to hear , becoming your heart's favorite melody , beating to it's rhythm , being the butterflies' jam as it tickles you inside out .

how many times have this movie been replaying ?

"You really love this movie , huh ?"

your heart sure seems to like to party to his voice . it beats faster and faster and faster . you didn't turn to him , even as he starts to walk his way beside you on the couch . you only tighten your grip on the now-deformed pillow . scaramouche , sits beside  you . with the same distance as before all this happened , with his arms crossed , his leg stretched , right on top of his left thigh , as he usually would .

you bury your face more into his pillow .

"Is it your favorite ?" scaramouche , believe it or not , is a lot more gentle when you two are alone together . the smallest rise in his meter of annoyance usually meant you've gone and crossed a bit too far . you shake your head , disagreeing with him . "Nope , nope it's not ."

"You sure ? You rewatch it everytime you're here ." he was still half-asleep , or maybe a quarter-asleep . you stared at the movie playing in front of you , the lines the same as what little you have heard him reading to himself behind the flowerboard . the smell of the flowers with the sound of his voice , you remembered loving to experience it all every recess .

that was when you decided to set aside his puppeteer attitude and focus on how good of a wanderer he is in your mind , wandering here and there yet never leaving to be elsewhere .

who would've thought he'd end up wanting to challenge you over flowers you only cared for because of him ?

"Because it's your favorite movie ."

"So it makes it yours too ? Is that the effect of us always being together ?"

"In a way , yeah ."

"I didn't know . I always thought you liked the other one better ."

"Because I do ."

your eyes shut close . the memory glitching before pitch black transcends every string . you knew you probably sounded senseless to scaramouche . you could almost see how his brows furrows and his eyes glint . how cute . your heart continues racing . "You're making no sense , more than usual ."

you laugh , finally surrendering to every butteflies' spree of tickling . taking a breath in , you look into the movie yet again . "This movie's not my favorite . The way you look whenever you watch it , is ." the silence creeping within you two's distance , became intensely loud . you match it as you laugh out loud , again , purely genuine .

"That's ,"

"Weird ?"

he pauses the movie , the remote was nearer to you , your hands created friction . that little friction , as if you've never touched before . "No , not really ."

you still don't look at him .

"You just , sound like you like me so much ."

you dig more into your knees . you were sure you weren't just blushing . you have been faced with countless teasing almost same of line and context as this . but with his confession and yours as scoring under all those markings , you can't help but feel a tinge something different . perhaps not just a tinge but a bulldozer of a sprinkle instead .

"Intense , right ? Imagine if you knew in totality just how much I've loved you ." you mumble to yourself , hoping he wouldn't hear . but he did .

suddenly holding you by both shoulders and guiding you to finally look at him . you see him . scaramouche , bathed in the dewy lights emitted by the setting sun . as expected , his hair was a tad bit awry , his eyes were still dazed , his eyebrows were twitching , and he looked more displeased than surprised . you always wondered why his expressions are so off-set at times .

he was blushing too . if the red in his face standing out amidst this sunset lit setting had a say in anything . and with that warmth , the butterflies have called unto flowers , had them grow in you , and it tickled , tickled you to smile at him , despite having him just look at you with that face since over three minutes of passing .

"I wasn't dreaming last night ?" he finally asked , shaking you the lightest he can , the same way he does when he's waking you as you sleep in his passenger seat , clothed in his picked and bought cardigans . he thought he was dreaming ?

"If you were, then was it the best dream in your life ?" he plants his gaze on you impossibly deeper before nodding like a kid given too much attention . leaning into him , and hugging him close , no more distance of just friends putting you off , you tightly enclose your arms around his waist , leaning your head into his chest .

"I love you , Scaramouche . Yesterday , probably years ago too , heck especially today and even for all days next to come ." for once , his heart , felt panicked . it beat too hard , your own heart felt defeated . you stayed there hugging him until he yields his arms around you too . the trace of hesitation evident , the shaky breath there for you to hear , you loved it all .

it's the scaramouche you've never seen before .

not approaching you for competitions , not stomping over you to shatter you with excuses to infuse shyly desired interactions , not running after you , furiously envious , not the ever so almost uncharacteristically gentle . this scaramouche who have seemingly fallen apart with just a few more assuring declarations , holds you in his arms and buries his face into your neck , acting as though any minute now you'll disappear , vanish , like an exhale in the cold of winter .

as if you're not locked by his hold , much like you were this early dawn and all your life since you spoke . as if you're not in his clothes , wearing all that he's long since owned . as if you're not the one who's said iloveyou .

"Do you love me too , Scara ?"

"You know the answer to that already ."

"No shit , Sherlock ." you move away from the warmth of spring , the flowers are already falling off , it's long past having blossomed . "Tell me straight . It'd be unfair if only I did the confessing the second time ."

unfair you say , despite not really caring of that aspect . you just wanted to hear it again . one more time . to hear it from him now , with you as sober as you can ever be , would most likely tire the butterflies in your hearts , seemingly powered with infinity itself .

"But , I'm . . ." his hold gets tighter , and you wish you could pull away , just a bit , just to see how red his face has become , how much his lips are quivering , how much his lips seem to be shining , at the sight of you — as he confesses his love for you . his love he's been hiding all these years . but as you love him more as you love yourself , you merely close your eyes and imagine it .

he seems to believe if he's going to be embarrassing while being horrendously embarassed , it's only right for you to witness it . so he pulls you away , his hands on each of your shoulder . trembling , cold , yet still as gentle as it's always been .

his face is redder than when he's first accidentally yelped at the sound of a sudden thunderclap , and he believed he was alone in his apartment as he should be — but upon your dropping of your keys , he sees you there by the doorway , holding your stomach and lips from erupting the loudest laughter you knew you could muster given that situation .

"I love you , Y/n ."

his voice drags you back to reality and his words seemed to scald the butterflies fluttering in your very stomach and they wreck even more havoc . you stayed staring at him , counting the stars in his eyes , not at all noticing the tears dripping from your eyes .

he loves you .

scaramouche loves you .

you weren't just being delusional all those years . you weren't being foolish for wishing for more . you weren't being absolutely diabolical for feeling something he never bothered wording as he does now . you were elated . beyond words , beyond any reactions you could scoop up from your entire being . for a moment you felt your every vein numb , as you seemed to be injected with seemingly unreal glee . it felt electrocuting for his hands to suddenly hold both of yours . for him to press his lips on the back of one . and frantically ask what's wrong .

as if he hasn't done that for you so many times before .

who knew his simple declaration of love for you , albeit so simple , so anti-climatic , become such strong foundation for the absolute oblivion of your sanity .

"Hey , Y/n ? Please say something , and why are you crying , hm ?" you couldn't answer and you just stay there biting your bottom lip in an attempt to stop your tears . your hands aren't very much capable of pressing down on your eyes as they're held captive by youd beloved and you don't really wish to let him go . not now , not ever .

not when he's loved you all along too . not when he's always done everything he's done not merely because he can but he wanted to . not when he's here right now , kissing your tears away as he has no plans to let go of your hands he's carressed more than anyone have ever had in this lifetime . no matter how much it embarasses him as a man always unable to fully come to terms with his own inklings —

"Say something please ." he kisses a tear before it reaches your cheek before landing his head on your shoulder . he mumbles something yiu couldn't here .

"I'm literally about to die of absolute shit-ass embarassment here — I'm even more embarassed than that time you saw me cry when we first watched that film !" he determined points at the TV . his whining voice reminded you very much of your high-school days . and maybe that's why you were finally able to laugh in spite of all the tears .

"You'll never leave me right , Scara ?"

"I can't . No matter how hard I fucking try ."

"You shouldn't . You'll regret it ." you smile before sniffing , eyes closing , a bit pained with the sudden crying . "I definitely will . I should've confessed earlier . You wouldn't have been approached by those dumbasses before ."

you blink . no one's ever approached you before for romantic applications though ? if some do approach you for something of the sort , it's to be set up with him ?

"Have you been warding off every single individual that could've been my lover ?"

"Yeah . . ." so that's why you never really got any form of confessions or hitting up during those years . you always wondered if you were simply unattractive or unapproachable . your brother would mention it'd definitely be the latter — so he wasn't speaking of the fact that you had an aura that naturally deflects any openings for approaching presences — he was implying on the fact that scaramouche was always there to scare them off . and was most likely qute efficient with it too as you were always together naturally .

he suddenly pulls away and stares at you intently , eyes glistening up with residues of embarassed tears . "Wait , why are you asking , huh ?! Did you want them to have been given a chance to even approach you ?!"

you weren't , even if you had more options like him , and with that , it would've been so much easier to plaster your wounds caused by him , with gauze and remedies — you know you'd much rather continue being pained by him and watch every wound develop scabs only to be picked and to continue bleeding , than be with someone else .

you were still in deep wonders of how xiao was so lucky being able to pass the scaramouche-barricades though .

"You couldn't ward off Xiao ?" you must've sneered at him by mistake and realized it too late . his lips have quivered and his glare becomes impossibly sharper . "Don't get me started on that fucking fuckass . He had a boyfriend and was such a serious dickface that I was so sure it'd be more possible for pigs to grow wings and take humans for constant flights than for him to have feelings for you ."

"Fucking fuckass ." his favorite curse , and you laugh . "Xiao's a good guy , Scara ."

"I don't fucking care . He's a nuisance ." you shake your head , holding his cheeks as he's been looking away from you . "He just liked me ."

"You mean , he likes you ?"

"I'll reject Xiao and anyone for that matter . As much as it takes for him to get over me . And as I do that on the side , I'll continue loving you with all my heart as I've been doing these years ." you kiss his lips and you believed his frown would be replaced with a pout when you pull back . excited , you pull back — only to be pulled in yet again . kissed harder , deeper , yet still as gentle and loving .

when it was over . he looked more satisfied than ever . with the most noticeable smirk and the stars in his eyes gleaming over your shocked entirety .

"You better ."

you couldn't do much more than smile . knowing now that you've actually been stuck in such an unnoticed mystique , with your polar opposite . knowing now that this love will probably never end , after all and if ever it shows sign of being as so , you wouldn't be alone desperately stopping its happening , and that he'd probably do so so much more just to be alive knowing you'd be living by his side . knowing now that you're finally receiving the love you've been craving , from the man with no hesitation to kiss your tears , feel your fears , and build you tiers to be able to be with him .

"I love you so much , Scara ." perhaps overwhelmed by all of everything you'd never imagined having , you confess to him yet again . as if to confirm he didn't misspoke , and you didn't mishear , the words you've been desperately wishing for him to speak of with you in mind . he merely smiles and leans in for another kiss .

"I love you so much more than you could ever know ."

fin <3

SCARA-LiNE / WORK NAVi!

[miiserableee]

( 𖤘 ) ▸ my oshi graduates ! : scaramouche x fem! reader !

y/n have grown up comforted by vtubers and her childhood bestfriend and now boyfriend: kunikuzushi ! suddenly , a week before , her current oshi is announced to be graduating ?! what the hell ?! kunikuzushi strives to comfort and knock some sense into her !!

( !!! ) mentions of vtuber semi addicted reader ?! reader is very assertive and straight forward ! reader loves icecream , and is a crybaby ! scara here is mentioned to be kunikuzushi ! ooc scara !! they age around late 20s !! MODERN au ! 1.6k words !!

YOU CRY , LiKE BORDERLiNE wail-cry . "What are you crying about ?" the question was asked for your well-being , since well , you've been crying since you woke up this morning . how can you not ? after seeing the tweet of your favorite vtuber's agency . said vtuber graduating after a month !

your heart drops again at the thought , it shatters and you struggle to see where the shards have gone . you stay there in bed , bawling your eyes out . you see his fellow vtubers he's befriended throughout his journey , tweet their well wishes . wishing him the best , respecting his decision .

you know , you knew , that they were all meant to graduate at one point . they can't stay a streamer their whole lives . you've witnessed and known of these graduations before . it's not new and it's not supposed to hurt you . it's most of the time , the streamers' decision .

as for your favorite vtuber's case , he said he wasn't burnt out , he was just , done . he said he tried his best to get back on his two feet , he tried , he really did . but it didn't work out as well as he thought it would . he said he had accumulated the decision of graduating months before .

and almost everyone in his community have long since known .

you weren't that attached to him to begin with honestly , you were more attached with his other fellow vtuber in the same wave . he was just really close with that vtuber so he caught your attention . you had your shit tons of laughs with his loud menacing laughter . you bawled your eyes out in his serious talks of serious things on streams . you loved how he viewed all his achievements . you loved him for who he was on stream and out of it .

you were always ready to support him with your everything .

and you still support him with this decision , he was leaving to live his life as a person of the world . to take care of his personal business . that doesn't stop you from chowing down on this bucket of ice cream and continuously crying though .

you stare at your computer screen , your chin on your boyfriend's shoulder . his tweet makes you cry even more . the tweets from his fellow close vtubers makes you wish you could say something to him too . well , you could . you cry again .

something lumping right on the very edges of your throat . you feel it hurt . and so you sob . what will become of his group now that he's going to be gone ? it's not like it can't function without him , it's just that , it wouldn't feel the same without him .

"Hey , Y/n . I swear . . ." you ignore your boyfriend and cry more . you've been hugging him since this morning and you haven't been letting go . he's been feeding you the ice cream and hugging you through it all .

"Scara will be gone . Kuni , I can't , it hurts so much ."

you wail in his arms and he only ever pulls at his patience to just sigh and pat your back for the umpteenth time today . he really doesn't get why you cry so much over this matter .

he reaches out for your chin and makes you look up . wiping your snot and tears with tissues he struggles to reach with you clinging to him like a newborn koala . you finally look at him properly , he seems to like that , with how he finally flips his frown into a smile . which only leads you to crying more and more .

"I'll miss Scara so much ."

he has been hearing this since earlier and it's been grating at his ears and he can't help but feel a tinge of envy . though placid it is not why he feels as so with all the cloudy confusion . he simply hugs you again and wonders when you'll stop .

he knew how attached you were to vtubers . he's helped you through countless times as these when your favorite of a few years finally graduates . during high school , when your very first oshi decided to graduate after long years of being with you through as you say , your toughest times .

hearing you sniff more into his sleeves , he plops down and nudge you to roll unto his shoulder this time . you hug his chest while he caresses the top of your head . "Stop crying , Y/n . Weddings don't plan themselves , you know ?"

"Let me grieve , Kuni ."

"Scara isn't dead or dying , he's just graduating ." you shake your head and snuggle more into him . "I'm sorry , just a bit more . I promise ."

you've said that at least , 25 times now . how'd he know ? he'd prefer no one ask . truly , his patience is only ever so malleable with you . such exception you've always found natural to ignore as you've had it long since before .

vtubers have become quite a piece into your life . you weren't that blessed with the best family , not least bit decent either . always alone at home left with the freezing chills of the neverending cold war you've had with your parents for as long as either you two have known . he doesn't remember who exactly introduced you to vtubers , but someone did . and since then , you've been quite attached to them .

they were a comfort you placed all your solace in , like an idiot , completely aware of their often departing but never giving up hunting and searching . always supporting until the end and crying your eyes out when they announce their expected graduation .

as a person who's always been stubborn about dreams and hopes in life , to the point that it became a thorn between you and your beloved parents , you were quite devoted to your oshis . like they were your lifeline . after long days at school before , you would play a stream and just watch and listen . you'd do your chores and tasks with one played on the background . you cry when they cry . you laugh when they laugh . your smile never fades , it ever so brightens when they speak of their appreciation of the milestones they reach because of all the support .

if you weren't fussing over schoolworks and your planned life for yourself , you were busy hunched and watching streams trying to fill a hollow in you that you were born with .

kunikuzushi was with you through all of that . he was a bigger part of your life , as you claim yourself , but that's only because he chose to partake in being a part of the other big part of your life . he was with you when you argued with your parents , when you were in your room crying and wishing you were better so they'd trust you more , when you were wondering why you even forged yourself to be the person you are now if it's not liked by the people you love most . he was with you when you finally found what you wanted to be in life . he was with you when you were the happiest , almost every stream , he watched them with you . even if it was boring and he doesn't really like it sometimes .

he even tried to be a vtuber himself for you to look at him the same way you looked at your oshis .

he did well , he hid it from you , coincidentally he even became your oshi . he learned a lot of things from being a vtuber , he was happy there , as much as he wouldn't really admit it .

when he told you . you were over the moon . he also proposed to you next and he saw it with his own eyes , how you seemed to just sit there above the moon afloat and unbelieving .

when you heard he was graduating , as scara mouche of 6WIRL of Genshin , of course you were bawling your eyes out in dismay and utter pain .

sure , you've met the rest of the members in real life . they all congratulated you two . they even said all the best things about kuni . they felt okay with everything . but it all felt hollow for a moment . scara was still your oshi of 2 years . add how mad you are that he hid it from you . you always thought the voice was merely a coincidence and him being busy was just because he was busy with his taking over of his mother's business . you should've known , really . but can you blame yourself ? kunikuzushi never sounded like he cared for vtubers to ever attempt and be one .

"Scara is just getting married . You know this ." he says and you sniff . yeah , getting married , to you . "Do you really want me to choose that career over you ?" you punch his arm with a glare .

"Damn bro , you gotta hit me with that , huh ?" you sit up , finally and wiped your own tears , wrists wet and cold . "Thank you for choosing me , Scara ."

as he looks at you look at him , like he's all you ever wanted to be imprinted in your eyes , he laughs . finally . finally he's got what he's always wanted .

"It'll always be you , Y/n . Always ."

"Are you sick ? You're too sweet—" he sits up and hugs you , chuckling as you began to laugh yourself . "I wish you all the best , Scara ." he scoffs and ruffles his hair before he did yours too , messing it up like the chords amess on the floor in his streaming room .

"Kunikuzushi , you mean ."

you kiss his cheek , to stop the ruffling . "Yeah , Kunikuzushi . I love you . My very last oshi !" he turns his face , showing a smirk you're way too familiar with . kissing you deeply until you can't remember anything but him . and how he gets you feeling , things .

"I love you too ."

SCARA-LiNE / WORK NAVi !

mysta rias is graduating next month , im crying my ass out rn . AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA what more of me when bebe shu graduates ??? anyways , thank u for 163 followers and half a thousand notes on youre too loud !! you all rock !!

[miiserableee]

( 𖤘 ) ▸ you're too loud : scaramouche x fem! reader !

troubled , tired and sleep deprived you opt to crashing at your boyfriend's place for the night . frustrated at the persistent chokeholds of your own cheap-apartment issues . turns out you shouldn't have expected peace when you never even tried asking for it .

( !!! ) mentions of popular gamer scara ! rich scara ! loving scara ? ooc scara ! touch-y scara ! soft scara ! with sleep deprived reader ! stubborn reader ! supportive reader ! modern!au , 2.3k words !!

YOU HEAR HiM CUSS . "Fucking fuck ." he somewhat repeats . that was the only phrase he's uttered this middle of the night that you actually register in your mind , the reason being its the one standing to be the most decent-sounding out of all he's exploded out . how did u know , despite having been seemingly drifted to wonderland until now ? you were one heck of a light sleeper .

a broke one at that .

giving up on tryin to tune out whatever harsh profanities he's spouting , you shuffle to move up a bit from where you lay on your side in his huge , soft , luxurious bed . you've always slept here like a baby and tonight is one of those rare times where the luscious softness do nothing against your lover's harsh mutterings . he was being noisy . very noisy . and as much as you are in no state to actually complain , you still will , indirectly , that is .

an independent person , that's what you'd like to be . or at least , that's all you've ever been called for never at all leaning on anyone for any sort of help at all . scaramouche , probably with his persistence and actual capability of being leaned on is one of the few that you ever ask for favors . but maybe its because you're still not used to asking anyone for anything . that even when the real issue that you decided to sleep here , you yourself initiating — whereas on other days it's him to drags you here — is all because you just couldn't handle the loud rambling of your neighbor anymore .

even harsher and louder profanities and cussings , insults and slurs , everything comes out of your neighbor at such unbearable volume that streaks at your eardrums late at night , you'd wake up at 3:34 and just stare at the walls that connect your home to theirs . fucking walls so thin , you know the apartment itself is cheap and you were the one that insisted on getting it , but just how lucky you are to have this kind of neighbor move in .

you have told the landlord , the old lady just shrugging at you to deal with it , but you knew she wasn't that cruel as you heard her trying to talk it into said noisy neighbor . this neighbor is the one cruel , spouting such indecency to such nice lady , you couldn't even do anything anymore with how lethargic you were feeling , lack of sleep getting to you , just like how the earplugs stopped serving its purpose , so did your whole entire body system , just as thoma noticed and gorou worried about .

they even offered to let you slip in their apartments and they can stay at yours for at least a night , but as stubborn as you are you only shake your head with that stoned smile . using your lover's stage in your heart , scara would kill me if he hears I slept in some friends house , a male one at that . which is actually true . with how possessive he can be atop those millionaire insecurities , its not that much of a far fetched scene for you to visualize him doing some yandere bullshit for you to be his and his only .

as toxic as that may sound , you liked the idea idling at the back of your mind . you felt your right shoulder numb , you've been laying down on it since earlier , you suppose . darting your faltering eyesight at the clock right beside you by the bedside drawer , the numbers glow a faint violet and cascading at your irises are numbers , 3:01 . holy fuck . do the timeframe 3 - ??? despise you ? you always wake up in the middle of a good slumber at such timeframes back in your home as well .

the neighbor clamoring the cause . now it's your boyfriend's clamoring . can't you catch a break ? maybe you really should've just gone at thoma's , he would've cooked you something nice too .

you shake the thought aside and lazily stood up to where you sat by the edge of the white mattress . you notice how he's cussing again , even more now , even louder . that usually meant he's on a losing streak . which is unusual . since he's always been one to win easily , always just silently announcing his victory with even more enthusiastic cuddles at you , or giving you more kisses and flashing more small smiles . who in the name of heavens could have been plummeting at your boyfriend's silent cute display of affection for you , you should give them a piece of your mind .

you say nothing though . you know he couldn't hear you . probably forgot you were there too . if he hadn't , then he wouldn't be being that loud , he knew how much of a light sleeper you were . if by chance he was ever listening to your abundant complaints about said built in feature .

you went to his fridge , its filled with things you both liked as usual . you grabbed whatever drink is nearest of your reach and dunked it down in one standing . sitting is such a hassle , you would've fallen asleep once you've got your rear landed . then just horribly awoken by your boyfriend's raging streaming . now that you think about it , maybe that neighbor of yours is streaming too .

you latch eyes at him as he raged more in volume , you could almost see tick marks floating around . fuming , he may be . you didn't know , you drink in on your second take on whatever beverage you could hold on .

"BASTARD !"

he shouts and your head cliche-ly tilted to the side , your ears stinging at the sound . you finish your drink , he doesn't seem to be going off stream anytime soon . you walk to him , the bottle of your drink now down the dustbin . his expensive gaming-edition everything always get you at awe . from his headphones to his chair , computer , keyboard , mouse , mousepad , where does he get all these money .

you pat at the end of his sleeve under the black desk that you knew wouldn't be seen by the ones watching him right now , as soon as he brings a hand down to most likely , scratch at his thigh . you catch glimpse of multiple fangirlings holy—EVEN WHEN MAD HE'S STILL , NO ! EVEN MORE HANDSOME . WAIT A SEC , EVERYONE IN MY DISCORD GOTTA SEE THIS . RAGING-KUNI ! WE LIVE FOR THIS ! and a few calm ones , dont mind dont mind , you can get it on the next one , go go go go ! fanboying , some may be doing that too .

the chat is lively , that wasn't such a surprise .

he must have planned to ignore you , since he didn't even bat an eyelash with your silent calling , but he dare not flick away the tips of your fingers at the back of his clothed wrist . you clutch at his hoodie now , fingers pinching at the cloth and you almost drag him across the carpeted floors . "Babe ." you try one last time , if he doesn't respond at all then you're either walking out at that door , or suffocating yourself with his smell-drenched pillows . voice as small as whatever earring you lost the other day .

he turns to you , though just his reddening eyes . you could almost feel the weight of his eyelids , you would've rubbed the area gently if you weren't so against being seen on his live streaming . simply for the reason that most of the reason why he's still somewhat popular despite his rare live streaming would be because of his pretty face — you bet half of his fans are legitimately just in love with the way he looks , or you know , just colorblind , like you .

biting at the inner edges of your bottom lip , you were too busy thanking the gods for his unimaginable popularity despite the lack of actual consistency to notice the rising of one of his brows . "Do you need something ?" he finally asks . he must have been itching to go on a final round at that point , or maybe it could also be because you called him babe , when you aren't really one to have habitual calling of your lover on any sort of endearment . being called by that by you , usually only meant one simple thing ,

you need his attention . his full attention . and as clingy as that may sound , he can only count the times you've ever called him babe or love , not even sweetheart , honey or darling come out of you by a slip of a tongue . if only you weren't one to associate your love for him by giving him a lifetime supplies of pecks and kisses then he would've thought that you only saw him as a pal .

the idea of intruding his game play got to you the moment you snap out of it , you lightly bite at the tip of your tongue . feeling your planned words receding each second that go by , you could see by the side of your eyes the fastened flashing of chats . you shake your head , though slow and hesitant , you succeeded . "It's . . . nothing ."

"Spit it out . It's clearly not nothing ."

his words have always been rough , but you felt hurt this time . you yank back your hold on his sleeve . attempting to shake your head again and repeat the same thing and retreating to the bed , you'd bear through it , just one more night . maybe you should ask ayaka if she'd let you stay for a few nights—

your thoughts get pulled along with almost the entirety of your body with just a pull of his hand at your wrist . "Tell me ." you squint eyes at the way he look to be pleading . is that normal ? for him ? or are your eyes too hazy to see clearly . you shake your head again , "It's really nothing , go back to playing—"

he pulls you closer , you feared the screen would catch vid of you and you try to retort with pulling back more but he's already got your arm shown to the screen as he ponder why you're being more stubborn than usual . after much struggling , he gets you to finally get down on his lap and you just sit there . staring at his face , arms laid along his shoulder . you hesitantly turn to the screen . oh holy shit the chats blowing up .

you turn back to him . he's busy laying his head on your chest . "I'll go now , I'm not in need of cuddles—"

"I am ."

you shush . not knowing what to say so you just move yourself at the huge expanse of the screen again and damn the chats' exploded . multiple chats questioning who you are and what you are to scara are popping up , some are there saying you look pretty , some are squealing over how scara got his arms wrapped around your waist securely .

"Did you , forget about the stream ? What if your popularity drop ?" he has this sleepy look of a what the fuck are you talking about ???? as he lifts his head a bit to press a kiss on your nose .

"I didn't and it wouldn't . I'm just taking a break ."

"How about we shut the computer off then ? You call it a day , you know ."

the silence got you more conscious of your position in this act of sitting . isn't it too obscene ? though you more so wonder how he picked you up earlier by your hips to place on his lap . funny enough how instinctive were your whole body accommodating to him , arms around him right away . body pressed and breaths almost shared , he didn't seem to care as he pushes back his head and lets his eyes close for a moment . he doesn't answer your question , had the audacity to ask you one of his own instead .

"Was I being loud ? Did I wake you up ?"

"Obviously , Scara . Obviously ."

your grip at his shoulder blades getting a bit tighter as he laughs sternly against your collarbone . "How direct of you ." he moves his chin to rest it on the crook of your neck and slid you even more into him , silently staring at the screen . "Scara ?" you call out to him .

bless my ears , even her voice is pretty !!

we're collecting crumbs rn people !! GATHER AROUND !

shet who is this hawt babe , oml , CAN WE GET A BETTER LOOK ??

PILAHAN NA THIS MGA TOL !

his eyebrows furrow and he feels you stopping on your quest of hopeless struggling and just falling limp into his hold . he ends the stream and shuts his computer off . you noticed as much as the lighting it emits finally disperse and the nightlamp by his bedside is the only source of brightness around .

"Are we going to sleep ?" he stands and you butterfly your legs around his waist , your hold on him much tighter now . he held at the back of your thighs as he nuzzle into your cheek and hums , "What do you think ?" nibbling a bit at its meat before stopping for a yawn . he walks you to the bed just carrying you like so .

letting you down and covering you both with his white sheets . you stare at him , already dozing off . he's got both arms around you . some of his hair closing off some parts of his face . you were sleepy too . but you want one last thing to get out of his limited edition blessings , pressing your lips into his and not at all expecting how he decided to deepen it .

lips crashing a lot more sensually , but you were both too tired to do anything more . just heaves breaths after since he seemed to suck out all of yours . he speaks into your lips , "Do you want me to deal with your noisy neighbor ?"

how he knew , when you've uttered nothing about it , you're betting thoma accidentally spoke about it with kazuha and kazuha found it reasonable to casually mention it to scara . either way , those guys really are quite loose-lipped . you push back a bit , "How ?" he shrugs , pulling you in for the hug again . "You really wanna know ?" you tap at his shoulders with a light chortle instead , "Nope , I'm all good now . Thanks ."

SCARA-LiNE ! / WORK NAVi ! @chickynn , ⊙^⊙ uwaaaaaaaaaaa , i feel like they all just on repeat—do tell me whenever u want the tagging-ish removed <33

[miiserableee]

( 𖤘 ) ▸ treat me right : scaramouche x fem! reader !

a love bloomed within a fucked up fuckboy and a desperate simple girl ( you ) , witness just how well you fuck each other up with misunderstandings and lack of actual deep concept of talking built even after 7 years of being together <3 .

( !!! ) mentions of sexual interactions ! contains adult / mature content ! cheating ! toxic & fuckboy scara ! ooc scara (?) cheating again ! potentially can be but i dont think so ; angst-y oneshot !! MODERN au ! 3.4k words !!

HE iSN'T THAT NICE OF A MAN . to be honest , he was the worst to have ever been your man . but he was the only one that ever stuck around . and it was foolish , when he first caught your eye , after splashing him a pint of your juice , during lunch break . it was foolish , when you started becoming more visible in his indifferent sight . it was foolish , when your heart skipped a beat , when he told you how much he hated your guts as he kissed a different girl in front of you . it was foolish how your heart skipped a beat at that . was that how desperate you were for someone , anyone ? enough to have the guts and accept his shitty self ?

he thought nothing of it when you confessed . mostly because you made it out as a joke , he didn't laugh at all . couldn't . he figured why you could laugh about it like that would be because you've already dated almost every guy in your class and even some in his . he thought nothing of it when you beamed at him when he said he wouldn't mind playing around with you . he thought nothing of it when you kissed him at your highschool graduation , but he kissed you back .

he thought a lot of you after you moved in together though , college days rising with each sunrise . he didn't have any problems with you . he liked how you did everything to please him . it irked him how even so you still went and hung out with those other guys at your older brother's chem class . it irked him how you reeked of different men's cologne as he pulls you down to enjoy some hot soak in the bath . it annoyed him how you'd wake up at night and stealth away from his grasp to write something down as you laugh at the chats that kept coming in your phone . it frustrated him how you would immediately stop when he groans and half-opens his eyes and open his arms wide to signal you to get back here which you take seriously and crawl back to his chest , all giddy .

you were that perfect .

you were that easy to bend . so easy to swish at his words . but you were also hard to keep in place . you still went with other men and hung out with them , he didn't know what exactly you did with them , he never asked . he just hated how you were not aware of how they liked you , how they looked like they'd steal you from him any moment they can . he could never try and tell you to stop doing that , stay with him , never go to other men even if its just for fun . because , you've set up a deal , no , he did .

he said that , he better have the right to still fuck around and get intimate with other women even if you two were together . at first , that was to try and get your feelings away and gone as he didn't want anything to do with them , but in the end , it came out as one of the deals you both had up , as your relationship which he didn't think would last that long , lasted years .

he never actually got intimate with anyone anymore after you two officially dated . he still went to mixers and bars and kiss-to-leave but never any more than that . he also never did that anymore when you two bought a home , the home you always gush about .

he noticed how well you were able to guide him to be your ideal man . he noticed how his heart drops to his stomach when other guys , your friends that are guys , would latch on you with hugs and friendly kisses . he noticed how without you , every night was colder , every day was longer . he noticed how , he didn't want you with any other guy anymore . he noticed that after you graduated , you were growing apart . he noticed that even though you two already bought a house , you were rarely around . he noticed how sad he had become , how that sadness turned into irritation , then downright rage .

he regretted how he called up some random chick and banged them stupid . he regretted how of all places it had to be done by him in the couch you loved . he regretted how he felt like it was alright to do , foolishly believing its the same act you commence with the guys you call your friends .

it pissed him off , how as he pleasure himself with another he was busy hallucinating it was you under . it pissed him off how a thought cross his mind how someone else could probably be seeing you like this . it pissed him off how you entered the house with a smile and walked through the halls silent , how he didn't even hear you . it pissed him off how his body completely froze from its seemingly neverending fervor , when he saw you standing there and staring at the scene , smile already gone and blank expression painted anew .

he felt impelled when you didn't try to run away right away or anything . he felt impelled when you just darted away your gaze and walked into you two's bedroom only to lock it . he felt impelled to notice the snack you both loved just there in the table as he fishes up his shirt and zipped his pants and chases the woman out . he couldn't even remember her name .

he knocked at the door so hard , he had the key , but he couldn't bring himself to open it . he watches as you did leave the room with bags packed . he remembers the horror that dawned on him when you smiled with glossy eyes . he gulped so hard when you gave him his gift in a box , a cologne , the same he's been eyeing since a few months ago .

"Happy Monthsary, Love . I'm sorry , I can't even ," it ached at his heart when you slowly looked down and started to cry , your hand holding out the gift , you tossed it somewhere in the house , started bawling your eyes out . he didn't know what to do . why were you so upset ? is he wrong to think that you do this with other men too ? don't you get fucked stupid by others when he's not around ? "I can't even look at you right now ."

that was the very first time you ever said anything that made his heart ache . you only ever comment how pretty he is . how perfect he is . how kind he is even when he's doing the bare minimum . he couldn't believe it when you stormed out .

you didn't show up at all even after two years passed .

you seem to have cut connections . 7 years of love down the dustbin . none of your guy friends knew where you were , not even the few girl friends you had around . you just disappeared like that . he had hoped you'd come back . crawling . crying . begging for his forgiveness for storming out . but the fact that that all crossed his mind , may be because he knew he should be the one doing that .

you changed him a lot . living with you felt like a dream come true that he later on realized after your absence of three days that turned into months and led to years . he kept searching , for your social medias , calls and messages to your parents , to everybody . but you weren't anywhere to be found . he was so near losing his shit . he was so near just having you filed out as a missing person for some organizations to find you for him . he was so near crying everyday as he lay in your big bed , where you were no where near his arms .

you weren't around anymore .

not there when he wakes up in the middle of the night , not there to see you writing things down on your notes , not there for him to open his arms at . not there when he wakes up . not there when he showers . not there when he eats . not there when he feels tired . not there , not there anymore .

he was in denial of it at first .

he couldn't have possibly been that attached .

but he was , he was . he figured that he should atleast cut himself some slack and remove those things that reminded him of you . but to do that , wouldn't he have to erase all things he favored ? he figured that having to settle with selling the house and just buying another somewhere would be a good start to this impossible quest . he had enough savings since he didn't have to spoil you anymore with things you never asked for .

he sold everything , from furniture to everything else . he already found a new place , already built and ready for him . that place was big enough for the two of you , maybe even bigger . he wasn't sure why some people found that odd until he remembers you weren't around anymore .

yeah , you're not supposed to be included in the picture but he forcefully shimmy you in . hoping that you'd come back to him one day , or he'd find you , he'd like it more if you two met somewhere along the way of you coming back to him and him looking for you .

though that seemed impossible .

he was sweeping off as some men started carrying things out . they took the tv , couch , refrigerator and all those heavy things out . they were already sold , those things were pretty expensive so they were sorted to different people easily . his bank account was filled heavy again . he sweeps off the dust and other things and was about to do the same to what was kept under the refrigerator , but there was a small folded antique-looking paper there , with other miscellaneous things he could probably pile in some box and label it lost and found .

he wondered what that was , it was a bit thick , dusty and dirty , so he took tissues first to wipe it off . it was kept closed with a string of dark brown , it was of same color scheme as the last box of expensive cologne you've given him before you disappeared .

SCARA ! Happy monthsary !!! Can you believe it ? We've been together for 7 years ! You didn't leave me at all , amazing ! I have been thinking very well of what I should give you this month . You always give me expensive pretty things . Even when it's no occasion at all , I wonder where you get the money and time to think of what to get , or do you just buy whatever ? I would want to do that too but I doubt you'd want something I chose on a whim , I also doubt you've liked anything I've given you thus far . That's not the point ! Anyway ! I decided to get you that cologne ! I also wanted to spend more time with you tonight ! I've been working on multiple shifts with my brother's friends because I needed cash for my planned gift for mom's birthday !!! I'm finally taking her to Switzerland ! You know the one I always talked about . It took long years of overwork and all but it was fun ! My older brother saved up a lot too so maybe we can stay there for a week or two !! His friends helped me a lot ! Bringing me to different gigs ! They were all innocent and good gigs, don't worry . Why am I rambling about this THIS IS YOUR GIFFFT AAAAAA , AHAHAHAH I guess I've never really written a letter and got off track .

Anyways Scara ! I'm so happy , I didn't expect you to stay with me this long but I loved it all ! I'm sorry I wasn't around much these past few months , I was doubling up on the rackets to get more cash since you know Mom's birthday is just a day away from our monthsary !! I should've told you , but you looked so pissed these last few days so I couldn't , I'm sorry . I'll let you have the bed tonight and I can sleep on the couch if you want ! I know you hate it when I cuddle up at you . I hope you know that I love you so so much . Thank you for always being here for me . Thank you for never leaving me . Thank you for helping me earn for my dream house as well . Thank you for everything Scara , you're the best . You may be kinda stingy and rude , but your hugs and kisses are aaaaaaaaaall worth it ! I'm sorry if this finds you in a bad mood though . Tell me about what's been going on with youuuuu . I'd love to help you out . I love you .

Let's have fun today . We can watch a movie you like . For once . You always let me choose , then don't let me hug you for days when it was a sappy romance one . I'm happy you watched it with me though . People always say I'm bad at picking movies . Well , whatever . Cheers to another month in our 7 year love ! I love you !!

Was this too long , I don't know .

he read the letter through . your handwriting just as mid as usual . his heart sinking again . he couldn't believe he was the only one in the wrong after all . he couldn't believe that he wasn't paying attention enough . he couldn't . he regrets everything even more .

he didn't cry that quickly . but he eventually did . it was an odd thing for him to do . everything he had done with and for you was always odd . the way he stuck with you , the way he cherished you , the way he couldn't let you go even after two years .

"Woah , you're crying . Whaaaat ."

it was clichè . how he froze for a second . how he turned the next . how his indigos widened , at the sight of you , with your pretty attire , laid down hair . e/c eyes boring at the paper he held as he struggled to keep his sobbing in place . "Oh , don't tell me this is the first time you're reading this ?"

he couldn't answer . his throat closed . he felt , immense , shrill . seeing you beside him . "Fucking some random gal and looking so regretful , even crying , after reading my letter . Don't tell me you misunderstood everything , and thought I was fucking the men that were helping me earn cash ."

". . . What are you doing here ?" his words were barely that close to being a whisper . he mentally cursed at his tongue , how could he ask that . he's supposed to be thanking you for being there .

"I heard you were selling the house . I was shocked and didn't believe the news and remembered it was you so maybe it can be legit so I came with that in mind . Nii-chan said you'd have probably missed me . He only thought that because he didn't know you fucked the waitress at the restaurant we went to , for our seventh year anniversary . Why did it have something to do about our anniversaries ? I can't believe you even got her number too ."

you were in pain . when you saw everything . you were broken . shattered . completely unbelieving . you weren't expecting anything when you came home that night . but you still kept silent in the halls because you didn't want to be noisy until you see him . but there he was , fucking some lady . right on your monthsary . how could he . how could he . how could he .

after making you believe that he's changed from the fuckboy asshole he is . after making you believe that he's changed to suit your ideals . after making you believe that the last 7 years would be a mark for much more .

"I felt so stupid . Did you fuck other girls that well too when we were dating those 7 years ? Did they moan that loud too ? Did they scream your name that slurred too ? Was it good ? Did you feel as good ? You fucking piece of shit , I thought you loved me too ."

when you decided to stay in Switzerland where your brother is . you made an excuse that scaramouche and you just had a fight and your brother understood and let you stay . he didn't expect you to stay there for so long that you decided to live there . telling people to never tell scaramouche where you are .

it hurt so bad when he looked more shocked and confused than guilty and regretful when you caught him . did he think you fucked other people too ? did he think you were cheating with those guys that helped you achieve your long-life wish of getting your diabetic mother to her dream-place before she turned blind ? was he that unbelieving of you ?

sure you agreed to the deal that he can still fool around with also being able to date you but at that time ? that deal was made atleast 5 years from then ! had all his actions of changing and being more to your liking just a way to fool you ? have you been that ignorant of everything ?

he was a jerk , you knew . but you thought even as a jerk , he had started to love you as you loved him . he was such a jerk and you were that idiot that went through his landmines to be with him . he was such a jerk and you were stupid enough to fall for him .

fallen so deep that even after long two years , you were so happy to hear that he was looking for you . that the new house he had made built had enough space for the two of you . you were so happy that you heard that he was going nuts , drinking , and drinking and losing his shit . you felt like the jerk at that time .

you came here , not expecting him to be clicking his tongue and hugging you so tight . fitting snug in your body as he continued to embrace you . ". . . Let me go , you asshole . I trusted you ."

you started crying too .

"I trusted you . . . How could you do that to me ."

he hugs you tighter . "I'm sorry ." he says , "I'm sorry ." he repeats , "I'm so so sorry ." he kept on going on about that as you broke down completely in his arms . you wanted him to let you go , to explain and let you know . but he was crying too . crying so hard for you . he was the cold , ruthless , bastard that caught your eyes , he was kind when you dated , but never did he ever say sorry this deeply , or cried in front of you so meekly .

"I was wrong . I didn't know . I should've asked . I should've let you know . I love you . I missed you , I felt like I couldn't live right without you so please ," he was gritting at his teeth as he exhales a breath , "Give me another chance ." he was practically pleading and you just continued crying .

"No , no , no , I didn't , I didn't come for t-this . Let me go , Scara—" he shakes his head , your tears staining at his shirt , "You're going to leave me again . Don't do that . It hurt so bad . You weren't anywhere . Nowhere of my reach . Nowhere for me to drive to , nowhere ."

"And now that you're finally back , you're gonna leave me again ? Y/n , I know I was wrong . Please . Give me another chance . I'll be better ."

he has never said anything of this level to you . never cried and begged you to stay . never have he ever admitted he was wrong in any way . never . not even once .

"You liar." you sob . "You're just gonna go around fucking other people again . I hate you ." you were struggling to not want to hug him back . you missed him too . you missed him so much .

"I won't . I never did anyone other than that last girl when we were dating . It was the biggest mistake ever , I know . I never did when we broke up . I love you , Y/n . Give me another chance . I'll make it right . I'll love you more . I won't ever do that again . Believe me . Please , I'm begging you ." he locked away from you , only to gaze through you with his indigo orbs that were still glossed with his pretty tears . you shook your head , you wanted to say yes . succumb to his promises . he has never said anything like those before . he had never said i love you to you before , atleast not when you force it out on him .

"Scaramouche . Do you love me ?" relief dawns in his usual sadistic eyes as he nods , "Yes ." you look away . "Since when ?"

"I don't know ."

you purse your lips . "I can't just , forgive you like that ." of course , who can ? giving someone another chance , is a lot harder than it looks . "I'm not expecting to be so easily forgiven ." he wipes his tears away . "I'm also not expecting for you to immediately date me again ."

he smiles a small one , as he wipes your tears with his slim fingers , and you leaned in on his touch . "I'm asking you to give me another chance . To set it right . I'll court you if you want me to . I'll wait for when you want me back . Don't , just don't discard me again ." he kisses more tears as they start pooling at your eyes again . he was so gentle , docile , and it was surprising . but It's all you wanted to hear from him .

as in one movie you heard , if you were already falling ? why can't you just jump in ? try and trust him again , get hurt and cry again , he was a jerk since the beginning . and now that jerk is here , begging . this is a miracle in it itself already . lets just hope more comes your way .

"Scara , I don't need any of that . Just treat me right this time ."

SCARA-LiNE ! / WORK NAVi !

[miiserableee]

( 𖤘 ) ▸ like a baby : scaramouche x fem! reader !

with you cramming to finish a work with a deadline due the next day , and him who awoke amidst an episode of sleeping , what do you think would become of you two once you collide again in bed ?

( !!! ) mentions of flowers ! weird house and specifications with the reader ! mentions of past bad deeds of scaramouche's ! sort lf like a timeskip to treat me right ! add the usual ooc scaramouche ! modern au ! some cussing ! 2.3k words !

YOU STARE . at your laptop's lightened up screen , your sight hasn’t left the flat surface within minutes that turned into hours . you shake your head , rubbing your eyes . can't even exert anymore demise . not like you had the right to complain any more than you have earlier this midnight . the given time to have this multiple paged position paper done wasn't just one night , you've been given a whole ass week .

to save you some slack , you weren't really at complete fault , said week you've been given was quite the busy course of seven days after all . events and responsibilities piling up on each other , you had quite the hard time climbing atop it's built mountain and sticking your flag to consider it done and over with . you almost forgot about this paper and other works to be done too . you wouldn't say you were ashamed , it's normal that you cram . you get things done .

today's paper had you in quite the slump though . you couldn't even count anymore the moments you pause and your mind go blank , fingers that were the fastest suddenly brought in the quickest halt . you'd even say it was a miracle you got it done .

pressing on the dark blue button with its text submit . the button you've been pinning eyes at since earlier . having clicked it now felt like a miracle as well . you swore you could hear a chorus of some angels' cappella , going their way in your ears once the slide of you've submitted blahblahblah ; pops up next in your screen . finally . you could finally rest that hunched back of yours . true , the living room have always been your favorite , with the lenient sunlight or consoling moonlight passing by the huge wall windows , and the comfy couches of monotone colors , the fake plants , a variety of those . the shelves and the pretty table you've picked out yourself . but right now , the bedroom at the second floor at the very end of the right corridor is the only place you wish to be .

"It's late . Are you done ?"

your e/c eyes darted to the side , your lover standing on the door frame with no actual door aside , got your breath stopping for a bit of a while . he states his words with much groggy-filter to suffice the fact that he probably just woke up . he leaned there by the white of the walls with his arms crossed to touch his elbows , his hair somehow a bit unruly , his face not that seen clearly . you notice the clock atop where he stood . 2:30 . somehow the heat of your laptop rested on your lap , felt even more hot . you put it away , as if fearing your skin could get any sort of scalding .

you don't answer to him . he probably doesn't need you to . you place your laptop somewhere in the living room's table , beside the clear vase and its lilacs . scaramouche changes those flowers every day . where he gets his tattoos , a good flower shop is near . some pretty man works there so no matter how he loved the flowers and want it somewhere in your house ; fresh and alive no matter the time of day , he would never let you go get it yourself . he wouldn't say it aloud but he didn't like how long you stared at that guy with his weird red streaked pale hair . you really just thought the florist's vibe fit his part .

you stood from where you sat with a few taps at your thighs . exhausted couldn't even described what state you're in right now . you were about to tell him that he could go back to sleep if he wanted , and you'll be there after you wash up . you might be assuming , but you'd rather try and piece up an assumption than not even show any consideration for his sudden awakening . you assumed that he awoke since he couldn't feel you on the bed by his side . he did say he was having trouble sleeping these nights and you did mention that you'd help him sleep well . you have been doing just that , until this day .

when you were about to pass him , with a small peck on his cheek . he grabs at your wrist , sliding his fingers between the gaps of yours . "I'm gonna wash up . You can go back to bed , I'll be there soon ." he says nothing , just staring sleepily at the way his hand fit snug against the small of yours .

". . . I'll wait ."

you didn't think of it much and just nodded . heading your way to the bathroom to get it all over with , you just needed to wash your face and brush your teeth anyway , you've done all essentials earlier before these late hours . with him .

he doesn't let go of you . when you were about to brush your teeth and tugged at your hands that held each other , he opens his eyes lazily and sees you motioning how you couldn't squeeze the toothpaste out and hold your toothbrush at the same time . he closes his eyes and grabs the toothpaste himself , putting some for you and gesturing you to hurry up . he didn't have a choice but to part and relax his knuckles though , when you had to wash your face . he just rests them on your waist as he statues himself behind you .

he's being awfully handsy .

you don't really mind . after you were done , he even pats your face dry for you , brushes your hair even though you didn't intend to do it . after all that , he's got you in his boxers and a loose white t-shirt , since your earlier tank top got wet with the washing of the face incident . he mentions how you shouldn't wear a bra when you sleep and shimmy you out of it himself . you let him do what he thinks he needs to do . when he hugged you after slipping you into his big shirt , you were wondering if he was planning to carry you to bed himself .

but he doesn't . he just grasps at your hand again .

not letting go again . climbing in the bed first , and putting out space and lifting up the covers . his bent arm failed to keep him up any longer and it stretched out the space he's supposedly given you . as if the bed wasn't big enough for you to roll around in . you do as unmentioned . slipping your own arm somewhere under his chest area since he seem to be up for some big-on cuddles .  what you didn't expect was how he slides and rests his head on your chest . your arms slumps on his shoulders and you hear him groan .

the room is indeed cold . the air is conditioned to have it the most coldest room out of all the other rooms , especially during nights . since scara supposedly likes it cold . you like to think that he likes it cold enough that he wouldn't feel hot under the thick blankets , which you liked , and the cuddling of your body against him , which he liked .

scaramouche is a cold person . he's rude . he's arrogant . he's sometimes even immoral . he has this naturally sharp tongue , accompanied with his resting bitch face that practically screams fuck off , don’t bother me unless necessary , i'll destroy you and your pathetic life , and more things that everyone would gladly point out for you to turn your back to him like how they all did . all these have brought him no good anything , only ever those backhanded compliments and sometimes just straight insults . he's so handsome , too bad he got that shit of a personality . if only he was nice . have you heard ? he's rich as hell too ! no wonder he's so fucking arrogant !!

when you started dating . you didn't care at all , just like how you did now . you weren't hurt by his knife-sharp words , they came to you as dull and tacky . you weren't that affected by his roughness , mentally , at least , physically ; you get bruises and marks and he'd cuss at himself internally . gritting his teeth as his whole face , for a second , resort to such show of regret and worry . while you didn't really mind since you figured the reddish purplish bruise on your wrist looked much like a bracelet , and it looked cute .

he cares a lot . so much , too much . he gets worked up when you look more tired than usual . he hated it when you crammed for things . he's used to you being idle and aloof while he does everything . he is subtly affectionate . he isn't as bold . he masks his acts of love with excuses , even if he uses your insecurities and incapability to his wits . he's still training his tongue , though you doubt the teasing remarks will stop .

he makes time for you . even if your schedules are always like those misunderstanding-trope in novels , wherein your schedules sometimes overlap but your free times just don’t match up , your idle-moments never incline at any given time . he gets you dinner . he prepares the bath . he washes your hair , combs it , dry it , you name it . he kisses away all worries with his pretty lips . 

many would deny that he loved you as much as you loved him ,  but they weren't you . they couldn't see this ‘him ’ . they couldn't , no , wouldn’t . if they can , then maybe they'd shut up for once .

be that as it may . he isn't usually this clingy . his hold on you is much tighter than usual too . his legs locking yours , his muscles tense up when you caress his nape like he did with your lower back and that's when you wonder if he was alright .

"Neh , Scara ," you call out . he doesn't say anything , so you close the small half inch keeping your body away from him . hugging him back , his hair is a bit wet . you washed it yourself , each lock reeked of lavenders . like the scent your home diffuser bursts all around . you still ask , "Is something wrong ?" he immediately clicks his tongue and pulls you closer , "Nothing is . Shut up ."

you still at his response , taken aback but that's his usual choice of words , the way he said it is quite rougher too . you try to pull back and have a look at his face he keeps burying against your breasts . he may have mistaken you for being hurt and pushing him away so when you tap and try to push him by his bent arms , he kisses your chest thru his thick shirt . "Sorry , I didn't mean to say that ." despite the lack of sincerity , you felt satisfied with the way his lips trail up from your chest to your collarbone . he's looking at you now . chin pressed where his nose once was at .

it's rare for him to say sorry .

you kiss the side of his lips , relishing in the state you two are in . "I'm not mad . It's alright . Old habits die hard ." putting your hands on either side of his cheeks , you noted he looks a lot sadder tonight . you wonder why . "Was it a bad dream again ?" he's been having those a lot these days . his eyes moving away from yours and his hold securing more came to you as a silent yes .

you slide back some of his bangs and looks at him thru his indigo eyes , before putting a kiss at it's very edge , which got his breath stocking on the hollow of his throat . you smile . "Does it have something to do with me ?" one more kiss and he seemed to have wanted to stop you smiling so much to his flushing cheeks , he then scoots his head on the crook of your neck . "You left me . Again ." he sounded like he was spitting the venom he sucked out of his own wound . you sigh , hugging him back , patting at his hair . he's acting like such a baby . and as much as it's cute , it's quite worrying .

"If you don't do any more of those shits , then you won't have to worry about anything . I won't leave you ." he smacks his lips gently and grunts . "I know ." seemingly liking the way you played with the strands of his hair . you laugh at his answer , so he knew .

you feel him rubbing circles on your back . "Does it hurt ?" he knew you were stuck in that hunched position since the time he was persuading you to just sleep and until he woke up amidst said bad dream . "It does ." hah . you've always been honest , he liked that .

"Here ?" he traces the lower regions , you hum , encouraging him . he presses on to it gently . after all that , he was sure you've gotten your tense body relax more against him . like jelly were you between his arms . you didn't know if he said it thinking you were already asleep , "Love you ." but you were sure he didn't mean for you to hear it with that hushed voice he used as he kiss at the side of your neck . you just pat at his back and answered anyway , voice coarse but he probably didn't mind . "Love you more ."

you could feel his lips forming into a light smile that'd probably look smug in your eyes , he hums . hugging you even more . like a baby , that's how he acted . so cute and feeling small against you , seemingly trying to hide beneath your skin . somewhat wishing to be held . yearning for the love and affection that'd lead him to learn . to be better . to not hurt you in any way at all . not anymore . he can't do the same horrible thing again .

when you awoke , your paper was renowned to be so great , and even with his somewhat noncaring reaction , as you informed him of so , he still sits you in his lap and showers you with kisses and small praises . short and sweet . you couldn't ask for anything else .

"Eat , we'll get what flowers you like today ."

SCARA-LiNE / WORK NAVi !

A/N : special thanks to mah pal / bro / ex / prend / sensei / idek nemore ; @bwompbomp ! helped me proofread and adjust sum shits vsisnqk aigoooo thank u sm <33 luv u bro :') !! and as said this is somewhat like a peek of y/n and scara's second take with their relationship after all that happened in treat me right ! im not vvy sure if the tag-permit is still valid but @chickynn ! im sorri if this isn't all dat great but agen , tyvm for even asking to be tagged on my scara works ! i hope u enjoyed this scarashot !

[miiserableee]

( 𖤘 ) ▸ love you enough : scaramouche x fem! reader !

y/n went through a lot with her past relationship , you can even call it a relationshit ! she harbored quite the few negative inkling with her , but that doesn't mean she's still hung up on him ! it just , hurts , the hurt enough to stick in for scaramouche , to deal with !

( !!! ) mentions of indirect suicide attempts ! uhhhh traumatizedreader ?! reader loves icecream , afraid of thunders ! kind & loving scara ! ooc scara (?) cheating again ! potentially can be but i dont think so ; angst-y oneshot !! MODERN au ! 3.4k words !!

YOU HEAR THE DOORBELL DiNG . you immediately pull your tongue back in before you could even bite it . shutting off the laptop with one considerably harsh slam , you tossed it on the mess atop your bed , hurrying to get your coat and sprinting to the front door to slip in your shoes , mouthing multiple just a minute !  for the person on the other side to hear . he simply stops the continuous dinging and you felt your breathing slowly pacing itself back to usual .

breathing out one more time , you clutch at your purse and whispered . "One more day , Y/n . One more day ." pushing the buttons to enter the code by what machinery sorcery there was by the door , you hear the usual clink in which signaled for you to turn the knob to the side . Certain pair of indigos burying themselves into your e/c , you flash him a smile . "You're here early ."

rolling his eyes , he steps back , scoffing . "Are you ," he started , his usual sharp voice of knives and small daggers somehow melting into a putty puddle of melted iron . "Hm ?" you urge him on , "We can just stay in today ." he finally says , which you immediately shake your head at , hands waving at front of his face as if to further push in your declining of the idea .

"No , no , no !  Didn't I promise we'd finally be able to get to spend some quality time together today ?" as odd as it is that you're dating him , it's odder for him to be considerate . even to you , his girlfriend of 3 years . though of course , you were undeniably tired , having nearing graduating and cramming for a thesis , and as reasonable as it is to him to consider letting you have some rest instead , it was evident enough these last few weeks , raging to nearing the count of amounting to a month , how little time it is you two have spent together .

of course , he comes by your apartment to give some barely even there  moral support sometimes , but it doesn't change the fact that even though that sort of visit lasts for almost 8 hours , all that ever occurs during those turn of 60 minutes , is him not being able to be spared even a glance from you whom got your head all stuck on the screen .

he eventually stopped coming over around a week of the same thing happening . you miss his frequent calls , and when you do have time to call him , he's already sleeping . the last time you got him finally caught within your grasp , sight and ears all of that aligned , was two days ago in the uni . after passing your parts to your leader to the thesis , coincidentally he was having a nice leisure talk with some woman by the fountain .

you think nothing of the woman at all despite how he was smiling , a whole lot at her . which is again , oddest of the odd , he rarely ever smile . maybe it was because you weren't able to have proper sleep or even meal those times that you didn't even have the time and fuck to spare to think about that .

he doesn't say anything about how you two barely connected at all for a whole month , waved the girl bye with a smile . and that kinda rips your unfortunate indifference apart . why was he smiling at other women like that ? he used to say he hated doing that the most , makes you feel special because even with such statement , the moment you wake up beside him , that small smile graces your wokening .

you suddenly remember how impulsive it was to ask him out on a date then and there that day . and how he looks somehow reluctant of it until you laid out all the possible reasons of why , how , what makes it important to go on a date as soon as possible . he ended up agreeing to it in the end . though grumbling and totally denying of the idea at first .

"Cinema ?" you mouth , the date have been agreed on to go by his plans . he hasn't given you a hint at all of what you were going to be doing or where you would be going but you didn't at all think it'd be the cinemas of all places . he hates crowded places . he has already gotten that fact dug on your mind so well throughout the years . with that , you look at him , a look of worry and wonder mixing like mochi into your eyes , sticky and persistent as it gleamed enough for him to feel it by the side of his eyes . "Hn ? Yeah , cinemas . Didn't you say you want to watch this shit last time ? Here we are ."

pointing at the poster of some animated movie you did say you wanted to watch , he speaks of it like he had no prior plans at all and just dragged you here with that in mind to make up for it . still , it felt nice to know he listens to your pointless random ramblings . "You don't want to ?" he tilts his head a bit to meet your dazed gaze , hold on your hand tightening . "I'm just , super happy you remember I said that ."

"You're worth the trouble ."

though so monotone , the flat of his voice calmed your ferocious oceanic waves of anxiousness as you sigh . "Hm hm , love you . Let's go ? We'll miss the trailers ." he nods , as you walk ahead and he hold the popcorn on one free hand . not expecting how you started slowly running to said destination , "You'll trip if you run—"

you just laugh at his scolding .

"Don't fall asleep , we're barely reaching the main characters' boring family's introduction ." you nod as you lean into his shoulder , your head have been there since earlier and he hasn't been saying anything about it . you regarded that to be a signal of him not minding . you were initially so hyped about this movie . but you've seen millions of spoilers now on tiktok , since you spend most of your 20 minute breaks scrolling , and the app seem to be stalking your private life , your fyp have been filled with spoilers of it and as stubborn you are , always just handing the responsibilities to your future self , instead of just scrolling past it to avoid any more spoilers , you like , save and even put it on your favorites . not at all expecting the algorithm to then flood your fyp with the same content .

you kind of already knew how the guy gets his whole arm mangled enough that you see his bones , and how the half zombie girlie ends up eating the guy she's been burdening since the start of said movie , what a , fucking tragedy . yet it gets you tearing up , the guy sacrificing his everything , even his survival for some girlie that he's been one sided-ly inlove with , since fuckening birth , the idea just hurts .

seeing it now for like , the 100th time though , it just seems downright stupid , idiotic , foolish . though somehow still understandable and pitiful . blame the spoilers for the negative add of perception . scaramouche puts his arm around your body and settles his hand on your tummy as he sighs , leaning into your head too . "This is shit , Y/n ."

"Hmm . . ." you still stare at how lovey-dovey the two of them deem to be right now though . in that screen , big and huge , you wonder if love can really bloom within such short span of time . perhaps , yeah , perhaps .

when you awoke , credits was already on . the amount of names getting pulled up into the black of the huge screening , you squint eyes and feels scaramouche rubbing against your stomach a bit . his palm pressing on it lightly , pressing a small kiss on your head too as you noise your way into his perceiving as awake .

"Sorry , sorry , sorry , I feel asleep . I ," he only ever nods , your waist and stomach feeling cold now without his arm . "It's alright , didn't you also say you wanted to go to that manga cafe a station away from here ?" he didn't , look mad . even just a smidge of irritated . even though you fell asleep , even though the idea of being able to talk about the movie had gone to waste , even though you were the one pressing on that you wanted to spend more time with him . in the end , you just slept . he gets you up , by one hand . staring at you as you bite at any inner part of your lip you could reach . he makes you sip on the still cold coke and freed your lips in the process . "You're such a bother sometimes , give me a kiss ."

you still a bit , gazing at the way he leans into your height , is he being for real ? not knowing the answer but also not wanting him to stay like that any longer , you went in for it . the taste of cola on your lips transferring a bit on his . he just looms over you once you were done and smiles a bit , looking like a smirk on one sense , a sweet smile on a made-up one . "You're being . . . way too nice to me today . Are you planning on dumping me when we get home—"

flicking your forehead , after he immediately holds both your hands and glares at you , jokingly , not as icing as what he first gave you , still intimidating though . knowing the context , cutely intimidating ! "I wouldn't have watched that boringass movie if I was only gonna dump you . Stop saying that ." you nod , hesitantly . "You really won't , bro ?"

"Really won't ."

in the manga cafe , you both settled on that closed space , he got you laying down on his lap , you were wondering why but he keeps on fixing your lips shut each time you try to pry for an actual answer . "Just , read . You haven't read the latest volume right ? The girlie you so preach about there is gonna get ," he pauses himself as you look at him , the manga only ever lowered enough for you two to meet sights . he laughs a bit and dips a hand down to pinch at your cheek . "Want me to continue ?" you shake your head right away and he chuckles , small chuckling , until he went back to his reading himself .

one hand on your head , massaging your scalp . his other hand occupied with that one manga you were rambling about a few weeks ago . supposedly , it was a manga that makes all reader weep after the 20th chapter to its 50th which is the ending . but you see him on the last chapter of the last volume , barely any pages in but stoic face he keeps up still . you wonder if it's because it doesn't have much impact on him because he doesn't really get sentimental over this things or if you're just too emotional sometimes .

he hasn't said anything , only the sound of pages turning and his occasional sipping of tea heard around . you hold on his hand , his massaging gets you sleepy . he doesn't say a word and lets you sit up again , but in the end , you lean on his shoulder much like you did in the theaters . you read silently a bit more and you see him reading something else already . he didn't cry at all . he holds on your hand like you wanted .

and was making this small humming noises .

for someone with such spine shivering voice , he sure sounds soft and mellow . no no no , you can't fall asleep . what will he say when you fall asleep again ? you didn't make him come out on a fairly windy winter day to just sleep whenever you're both seated and rested with cushions on your backs and bums . you shake your head and blink again and again . but in the end , the comfort dwelling in you , with his warmth seeping into yours , render you incapable of any sort of humane control . your eyelids , felt heavier than any lead , and your body felt all soft and light . a small thud resounding before the flimsy sight of the mini room starts glitching and beep , it was dark all over , warm and soft .

jolting up , you were covered in white fluff . looking around , scara was just beside you , on his phone , turning to you soon after . "Oh , morning , slept well ?" he fixes himself up on his elbows and slowly went to you . "I'm having food delivered . You're hungry , right ? There were no sundaes though , the ice cream machine near the store we go to really don't love you , huh ? They're never working when we order . . . Aaaand you're crying ."

you could see the way his lips coil and he clicks his tongue , staring at you first as you cry your eyes out . you don't know why , can't tell so in an understandable matter . but it hurts to see him caring so much , what if he's just doing this to unload the burden of any guilt he might be feeling as he plans to leave you after all of these ? what if he's getting tired of you always being busy and unavailable , and what if he's finally found , someone else ? you've been denying it all day long , that he's being considerate of your situation . he isn't supposed to be . he isn't . it's scary when the people you've been burdening doesn't lash out at you and even comforts you in their own way , it usually , ends on a very permanent parting , when they get too tired . you shake your head and looks down .

that guy always had that dreading , distasteful and annoyed look whenever you cried . what if , scaramouche has that exact face right now ? why did you have to fall asleep , why why why why why , you were trying so hard not to . trying so hard to at least make up for what you've been lacking on the significant other department so why ? aren't you already aware of how much it hurts to be left because of your lacking ? have you forgotten just how much it teared you up and pulled you down ? have you ?

the idea of it happening again hurts . it does . it hurts more to think that scaramouche would be the one leaving this time . you're being such a doll he has to drag around to be of any mere presence . your lips tremble as you bite it down , you can't make noises . you can't . he'll hate it too . it'll deem you more of a nuisance than you already think you are .

"Y/n ."

you shake your head even more . you try to wipe off all the tears but they just wouldn't stop coming and dripping and going . you hear him sigh and it's almost as if , all you've been building have gone , crashing down , down to bits , along with what scaramouche have pulverized to dusts , along with the memories of that guy , and all he's done . you didn't want that to happen , that can't happen . it shouldn't .

it's all your fault .

"Y/n , stop it ." you don't , you can't . "You were tired , you needed rest ." but if you rest , then you're just adding to the pile of actions you've been doing , been neglecting him as so . "Don't cry , you're gonna complain later again how it hurt your head ." it wasn't the afternoon anymore , it was late midnight . he went ahead and gave up on getting you to look at him . you were still crying , crying so hard . you didn't cry at all having to do so much for your research and being taken advantage of again and again , having to do more than you alone can manage . yet you're breaking down now , all because you're afraid that you're losing him . he pulls you in for a hug . which you didn't have the strength to latch away from . he settles his arms on the back of your waist , and lets your head rest on where his shoulder and neck meet . you're getting his t-shirt wet .

"Are you scared ?" he asks , pulling you close when you try to pull away . you nod , answering as you sniff and hugs him back . "Don't be . I won't go ." he sounds so sure , so steeled to such statements . "I won't . I really won't . I fucking cherish you too much to leave you alone . You're already pathetic with me here , what of you when I'm not ?"

you wish he said that too , on that day when it was thundering all over the city . the you who'd be under the blankets and lulling yourself to sleep , afraid of those clapping , grating sounds , was too busy crying beside your lampstand and a handful of pills on hand . staring at the note you've already left for everyone you love to see and crying a bit more , ignoring how much you've made your lips bleed . how could he do that to you .

your mother fucking died . how can he go and lash out on you , all drunk and high , saying you're too busy to have any time for him . how could he say that , when he wasn't the one caressing your slumped shoulders as you cry aimlessly beside your mother on her deathbed . how could he , say that ? and what came over you , to blame yourself ? what ? why ? how ? it doesn't make any sense . each thought and normal prejudice and moral you own shredded on a shredder and you were too busy trying to fucking breathe from all the tears and sobbing and begging to not be left alone to try and piece any of those things whole anymore . he still left in the end .

said that he wanted to fix things , that he's been putting too much for you , that he's done everything already , that you weren't cooperating at all and that nothing would work . but you begged still , begged and begged and begged , you gripped on his pants with tears welling up your eyes saying countless sorry and multiple dont leave me , not like this . he was your first love . he , he was . maybe that's why it hurt so bad . maybe that's why you couldn't hate him . maybe that's why all spite you have that you wanted to let out , you just kept within . maybe that's why , that's why no matter how 2 years have passed its drilled in . that people come and go . no matter how harsh or gentle the parting is , it still , and always will , hurt .

that's why , you should always grip tight on anything , everything . that pain is too much after all , it's too much , it hurts , it's suffocating and infuriating and utterly , painful . you didn't want to feel that way again .

you love scaramouche .

with all your heart , you do . he came in your life around the time you have cemented yourself to live still , even by yourself . he came in your life , became the best guy there ever was , no matter how much of a dick he can sound like . he came in your life , and started slowly mending at the cracks you've got everywhere . just , what will become of you without him ?

"Y/n ." he gets you to look at him , a hand on your chin , looking at you silently . "You were tired , no ?" you hesitantly nod your head . though aware that he wouldn't leave you , you're still afraid . and you hate it that you are . shouldn't you believe in him ? shouldn't you ?

"What am I to you ?"

"My boyfriend ."

he smiles , smirks , whatever that curve on his lips is supposed to be called . pressing a kiss on your lips , you were glad your voice didn't croak . "Yeah , a boyfriend ," he coughs , "Needs to care for his girlfriend . No matter how much of a bother she can be . Which you aren't , completely . I wouldn't have agreed to be your boyfriend anyway if I didn't know what I was signing up for ." he shrugs a bit , and stares at you .

"You went through a lot ."

you nod your head .

"And to be honest , I've met that guy before and I wanted to , execute him so bad but you said you didn't want me to so I perfectly and welldone-ly preserved it in . You know how hard that is ?" you nod again . he laughs lowly before grinning up at you . "I'm not him . And I won't be like him . I'm not planning to be either ." you kiss him this time .

the tears have stopped .

he breaks off the connection and tries to speak more but you just kiss him again . "Sorry ." you say between your kisses and he just hums to your lips and deepens it more . he probably didn't want to go all out tonight , considering how tired you still look , he pushes you gently away from him . you wanted more .

"Sorry ?"

"For being such a burden to carry ."

"I don't like kissing burdens ." he smiles , beams even . you squint your eyes at this and your lips part as if to speak . he knows you wanted more of said kisses . acting as if he wanted to stand up and leave you alone on his bed on one of his shirts , you press him on the bed and glares at him , "I've long been a burden but you've always been kissing me ."

laughing a bit , he rolls his eyes . "That just means I've never seen you as a burden , just a dumbass , a needy , crybaby , dumbass ."

"You really like saying that ." you just kiss him to seal his lips itching to tease you more . "I love you , Scara ." you feel him smile as he kisses back , a lot more passionately than you did . "Hm , love you too ."

you sniff again , "Why didn't I meet you sooner ?"

"World's your number 1 hater , probably ."

"Rude ."

"Pft ."

SCARA-LiNE ! / WORK NAVi !

[miiserableee]

( 𖤘 ) ▸ get to the point : scaramouche x fem! reader !

in which he fucks up , you fuck up , then you two make up <3 .

( !!! ) mentions of scara being in a past relationship with mona ! cussing ! lotsa cussing ! benefit of the doubt ! college modern au ! fluffly oneshot , pretty short too ! ooc scara ! crybaby reader ! 1.69k words !

HIS FOCUS iS ON HIS PHONE . the whole day . not like you minded . you do it all the time too . when you're bored of studying and wish for a break even if the what you think hours you've spent is actually just a dozen of minutes flat . he'd often be there to pull the phone away and tell you you're gonna get stupider if you don't study well . he helps you study at times , but most of more common whiles , he expect you to be able to do it yourself .

either way , he would be cuddling up at you sometimes if you decided to study on the floor of your living room . sometimes he'd go out after you're done studying for 3 or 4 hours , bringing you back snacks and saying that he was just hungry thus why he bought them . he'd lay down on your lap and sleep too if he wants . sometimes he'd forget what he came by your side for and would twitch eye and correct your wrongs in your practiced equations ; this only ever happens with chem though .

all said this and that , it's common for him to always stick by your side whenever he can . it's weird when it's subtle and surprising when it's bold , but it's never uncomfortable .

today though , you've been studying for five hours and he still hasn't even looked at you at all . you haven't eaten lunch and he didn't ask at all when he came prancing in from wherever place he went to . just up and sat on the corner and started scrolling hours away . not being his usual glaring at you jokingly self whenever he can and trying to tick your nerves for an excuse for a fight to erupt .

"Scara !" you called out from where you were in the living room and where he is in your bedroom . "Y/n !" he shouts back and you sigh . "Can you come here ?" you ask , in a smaller tone than usual . he didn't come running as you wished , "Come here instead ! Take a break !" he shoots you with that instead . well , atleast he knew you were studying .

you shouldn't have expected that much from him anymore anyway . you left the mess of papers and walked to him , just as he says . he already has his phone at side one arm bent to the side . to open up the space in his chest all wide as he leans back on the headrest with his legs out stretched and atop one another . you just stared at him though . which he found eerie since usually you'd immediately glue yourself to him the moment he allows or initiates it .

"What's wrong ?" he asked , sounding a bit irritated , maybe it was because you left him at that position too long or it was that dead fish look in your eyes . you shrug , walking up to him and latching your arms around his waist and nuzzling up to his chest which he hums smugly at .

you didn't say anything though . he was waiting for you to ask him what he was doing , how he was doing , or that you're hungry and you missed him , if you two can take a bath together or if he can turn of the lights so you can head on to a deep slumber . nothing of the like at all . you just stayed snug against his chest and resting your eyes . "Did something happen ?" he asks again , a lot calmer this time . free hand rubbing circles at your back as if to ease the pain of having it hunched back for hours . you didn't answer . "Y/n ?"

"No . Just hungry ." there we go . he smiles a bit , relief a part and amusement the other . "I bought you what you like and I placed it on the table . Eat it ." you nod , "Eat with me ?" looking up at him like that but he was still looking at his phone . much to your heart's painful throb .

"Later at dinner . I already ate lunch with Childe and Mona earlier ." he says , still scrolling and you just look down dejected . you know how he hates eating twice the normal amount . you stopped yourself as you almost sigh . "Okay , I'll eat now ." he didn't hesitate to let you go . you almost pout and all but you'd rather not with your brain already toasted to the core .

have you been getting used to him spoiling you so much ? it's been a while since he didn't please you . even if he denies that he does them for you most of the time .

you crawled out of him and didn't spare him a look or peck him with a kiss on the cheek , or somewhere near his eye . you just up and went and even as he still scrolled , he noticed that .

after more rustling and realizing you've changed into different clothes , he wondered where you were going to go . sitting up and turning off his phone to watch you quietly grab yourcopy of keys and the bag of whatever he bought and threaten to exit the door . he asks as he stood there at the doorframe of your room , "Where are you going ?" arms crossed and eyes almost scorching your entire standing . you flash him a smile . "Out ."

"Why ?" you just look in front of where you stood , calmly looking at him with your smile never fading . "To eat ." your answers were irritatingly short , he's used to your rambling and oversharing .

"With who ?" and as he never really asks that something was different with you today . he had a feeling that you were trying to do something . it's probably not just gonna be with amber and eula today . "Lumine and Kazuha ." his tranquil gaze have already set up a hell-like blaze as you said the last name .

"Kazuha ?" he repeats , jaw clanking at the harsh way of speaking , "Mona ?" you mention , using the same tone as his .

"Y/n ." he glares at you . as your boyfriend , he never liked it when you carelessly hang out with guys that you didn't know , have a thing for you . "Mona is just a friend ." he was explaining when you didn't ask him to , you've probably heard him say that countless times too . "A friend you've been with since elementary ? A friend that became your girlfriend for two years when you were in highschool ? A friend that you've kissed more times than you did me ? If so , then Kazuha is also just a friend ."

oh , you were ready for him to glare daggers at you again . or to scold you . tell you that he hates it when you bring up things you said you were okay with . "Kazuha is in love with you , Y/n ." you turned aside , "Kazuha never said that himself ."

"Of course he wouldn't ! You're dating me right now !" he raises his voice at you . is he mad ? what face is he making right now ? he shouted loud . maybe you shouldn't have dragged it out too long . but he was pissing you off too .

"For fuck's sake , Y/n . You know very well how many times he tried to confess to you before we started dating . " he seethe a breath in . "Don't even tell me that you don't ."

he was right . out of all the guys you're acquainted with . scaramouche only ever told you to be wary with kazuha , even though his possessiveness is second to none . he also always told you before that mona is just a friend now . he said that he didn't have anything romance-sense to do with mona now . he said that , but he's always still with mona when you weren't around . but you should've trusted him . it wasn't like he would ever lie to you . he still sounded mad , grumbling even . you just stayed there staring at the floor for a while , minutes turning into ten until you gave in at the thought of him being mad at you for too long .

you slump down , a tear leaving you as your smile faded completely like clouds at overly sunny days . he sighs at the sight . "Don't start fights and be the one to release the first cry ." he walks to you and wipes at your tears as you just sniffed silently . "I'm sorry ." you mumble .

"No , it's alright ."

"It's just that , you've been on your phone the whole day . Not even asking me if I've already eaten or how was I doing . Then I hear you went out with Mona and Childe again , how could you leave me out of all the fun . I didn't , didn't want to eat alone , so I thought I could give you a taste of your own medicine and go out with Lumine and Kazuha ." you kept on trying so hard to keep the snot in as more tears started flowing . "My head hurts so bad . I know I should've just asked you why you were just on your phone but I couldn't because I didn't want to feel like I have to plead so hard for you to care for me . And now I'm crying here . What the fuck ."

he sighs again . cupping your cheeks to bring you to look at him . "You could've just told me what you fucking wanted or inched more on it like you usually do . I could've given it to you . I was busy looking at resorts we could go to after you finish your exams , dunce . Stop crying ."

you just nod , even if you were still crying . "I won't go to Mona or to Childe , or to them both without you around anymore . I wasn't ignoring you . I thought you'd like it more if I gave you some peace and quiet ." he moves away strands of your hair that kept sticking about as he then goes down for a kiss on your cheek . "Don't go digging up on history anymore ."

"Didn't know you've gotten this needy ." he teases and kisses you , real sweet . "Now , tell me the plans with Kazuha—"

"And Lumine ." he almost forgot about her , good thing you cut him off to remind him <3 . "Those plans are a joke , right ?" you shamelessly nod . "I was planning on just eating at the benches alone if you let me go . Then dump your ass and chase you out once I'm done ."

"Harsh , but that's my girl .." he kisses you one last time . "Let's eat ?"

you nod at him , "Yes please ."

A/N : this one is a lot lighter than the last , its kinda short and boring but i couldn't get it out of my mind AHAHAHA . tmr or maybe the day after that is the next one ; here with you ! a zombie au , its all clichè but dishes washing me says yes , so i shall comply to mahself <33 if ever u are one of the few but still there ; ( dream for me ) readers , if u wish to know when the next update shows up , you can follow its tag #dreamforme!scaraseries! for this short oneshots , you can follow the tag #scarashots! im kinda new with posting scara-stuff on tumblr and wow 40+ notes on treat me right ! i was too stunned to have an actual sane-like reaction , tysm !

SCARA-LiNE ! / WORK NAVi !

[miiserableee]

( POLAR MYSTIQUE ) ▸ UNO : ! ( cero ) / ( dos )

scaramouche × fem!reader ! ( summary ) everything have always been going his way and no way else , until your stone-cold self transferred into his school . ( mentions ) of reader having an older brother , being perfect , smart athletic u know the drill , scara being ooc ! annoyed scara ! reader also have dead parents ! reader kind of a bro-con ! ( 5.3k words )

𖥼 , BEEN FLOWERING THINGS UP FOR U !

HE , WAS THE PERFECT PUPPET ; he acts easy , yet pulls your strings at ways he desires . he liked the feeling of being above . just chilling along the wired nets of strings owned by people he acted like he adored . he wasn't that good guy that'd do his best to impress anyone , he'd do his all to satisfy himself . maybe that was a complex people never noticed which just added to how proud he feels for being able to hide it well enough that people couldn't tell at all . well , he provided the best projection after all .

friendly , nice , kind, rich and smart to boot . who would pass up on a person like that ? he might not say it much unless he needs to use it as a scapegoat when teased to someone he doesn't necessarily like to be teased to , but he definitely isn't ugly . if anything , he'd say he's good-looking . he got em cash too .

the perfect guy . that one hotshot at school loved by literally everybody . disregarding genders and all that . teachers , classmates , schoolmates , everyone looked up to him as that great rich genius that isn't too boasting or boring .

no one ever beat him to anything , looks , grades , sports , wealth ; you name it . he's that perfect . that even he himself could just bow down and praise himself . it wasn't until some girl came in their class , came in as they begin the fifth grade . to be quick , it was you ; you who didn't seem to be any different from any girl that transferred first to their class . they'd start looking all dull and then looking all glammed the next day once they see him .

he eyed you carefully , the way you stood and the way your eyes looked at him the moment they locked . he smiled warmly at you , of course . welcoming you out and inside he so knowingly said to himself , oh , this girl's not gonna be pretty at all even if she dress better .

almost confirming already what you'd look the next day but you just blinked at him with a nod , putting your focus back not on him but on everybody . in your mind , you also seemingly replied , man , that smile's so forced , does he need to take a crap ? 

it wasn't long before he wondered why there were no reddening on your cheeks , both at that time and as well as when he was pointed out to be the one you'll be sitting next to . "I'll be in your care ." only that and you were seated . just calmly listening to homeroom afterwards . weren't you gonna give him what he expects to be given ? a simple blushing or attempt of an approach ? maybe you're the type to only budge when he approaches first ? but he had done that already . were you trying to play hard to get ??????

"Scara-kun ! You got such a high score again ! Just a bit more though and you could've gotten first !"

"Yes , thank you very much—Pardon ?"

he blinks up at their teacher , tilting her head as she wondered why he asked her to repeat her words twice . she's a new teacher at their school so she wasn't so aware of the normal occurrence of only one student ever placing the highest , every exam , quiz or test ; that student being scaramouche himself . she seem to not speak a word though and just got lost in the paradise of his face so he spoke out himself ; "Who's first , Miss ?"

she chuckles to herself , she's so glad she got assigned to this class . "Y/n !" said teacher had no expectation of what reaction almost everyone had . much like you who had no idea what was happening cause you were half asleep , perked up when your name was called , and upon remembering after a few screwing of screws loosened by lethargy , you remembered your test papers were being given back . so standing up you did , walking to get your paper , flinching unnoticed when everyone released a chorus of ; "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ?!"

similarly done by scaramouche but he kept it to himself and remained a neutral look as front . catching glimpse at all the papers handed back to you . you , still in aftershock of the loud reaction , didn't quite know that you were first or if that was in any way , worth a reaction a class should give . you just caught up when your name was called . you fanned out your papers like you'd do with cards when you play with your older brother . seeing rows of 100's and 99's , you spoke with a small smile , "Nice ." those flowers drawn around your scores were so cute , your joy just heighten . your brother's gonna praise you so much again . will he buy some yummy cupcakes this time ? you'd preferably like chips more but your brother said they were no good for an everyday snack .

lost in your own clouds , not aware of how almost everyone were left there frozen , including ; scaramouche . immediately checking his papers right away after catching stolen glimpses of yours . his had more of 98's and 97's .

he studied well though ? placed in his mind all he could to ace these tests ? how could he have gotten mistakes at that point ? he swore his answers were all right . how could this be possible—and great heavens , it didn't stop there . you were better at sports too , faster and more agile , you were particularly good in sports that involves your legs , but that didn't mean you sucked with those that revolved around the use of arms or hands , fingers or brains , whichever of those . having been able to beat him at things people always knew he could only be best at , people naturally swarmed to you . the same way they did when he naturally overpowered whoever was on his shoes back then .

it was like that , for a long time . most of people he knew would only ever crowd around him , crowded around you sometimes too . even with all that , you didn't have friends that you always have around . you were sometimes sleeping through classes . you'd apologize politely yet so monotonous-ly when you're scolded . you'd look so in your clouds . you would be known as a loner if only you weren't one to talk decently when people do talk to you . you weren't an outcast , you just cast yourself aside . he sure hoped you've done that with your academic performances too . set the scores aside , preferably under , under his marks . right where they should be .

he's been watching you so much , he noticed a few times that you weren't at your seat sleeping during lunch time , and that was odd since that's all you ever do . it happened more often that he started to wonder where you even go . so he trailed you once .

and there you were . just crouched , staring at flowerbeds and looking so much more awake than whatever sort of state you're in during any classes or time of day for that matter . it irked him how simple flowers fascinated you more than the actual more fascinating thing you did which was ; surpassing him . in everything he thought no one can ever throw him out of first place in .

he can't remember why he said it , not anymore . but it stuck to him , cause that's the first time , you looked at him , with those shining eyes he didn't know your eyes can even do .

"Those flowers should've been mine !!"

he was referring to those flowers drawn around the 100 marks of your papers . he hated how you got them when all you've been doing was sleeping during classes and put little to no effort to anything yet still perform them best — that's so unfair . you came out of literal who knows where too .

you didn't flinch like you did the time everyone shocked themselves to death when you were first scored with the exams and not him . you answered , still , though not looking .

"Hm ? I never said they were mine ."

you ended up looking at him , the awake look there as a result of having been blessed by the pretty flowers , a form of glint in your eyes that he'd forever remember . waiting for his answer now looking back at him , finding it rude to not do so when he's talking to you . despite how what was really rude in that conversation is how he started it —

"They're the school's ." you pause , looking aside the scrunched of his brows , "Or maybe whoever actually took care of them . I don't know . Try growing flowers of your own ."

what you said next , and that grin you so had to flex ( which was probably because you found it a bit funny how you right away thought that it's the school's flowers ) all of those , embarked their way so deeply in his mind .

"Then by then , those you grew , can be yours ."

he interpreted that as , try better next time , goober . even if deep inside he knew what context you had in mind . his anger just blew him up so nicely that it fueled his will to regain the first the next time the exams come around .

"Mom , I wanna go to the best cram school in our area ."

he remembers well the look of : what ? his mother gave headlong after what he so says and he knew why . he had always been doing well , too well , at school already without said assistance of some cram school so why would he need that ? nevertheless , she signed him up with a paying of few questions answered .

it was quite the surprise to him just how hard studying hard can be . don't get him wrong , he studied well , how else could he have passed the tests with the highest marks back then if not , right ? but maybe the added hits of not just understanding the lessons but actually aiming to memorizing it was what got him in a chokehold—and as if that's not enough , he had cram school to attend to and when it's time to head home , oh , there's no rest rest thing going down . he's up rereading everything again , from his notes to the books . with that much effort ? he can't possibly lose now .

he wasn't really aware that all those work he so put on to regain his place just took a toll on his body and was there up to drag him far lower . he had succeeded in ignoring what one may say as his fatigue and sleepiness , and was more focused on all the knowledge he's absorbing . but the price to pay was a hefty burden . he even lost his way home after cram school and somehow wasn't aware of it . he passed out too right on some unfamiliar commoner street . after all that dizzy thinking , stress and pressure of actually having lost for the first time . he was corrupted enough that all exhaustion created a forceful conclusion .

just rest .

the choice of place for said resting wasn't the best option but the malfunctioning of his entire being couldn't care any more about both that , and his pride and sense's continuous urging that he should at least pass out on a bench or something—much better than collapsing at the middle of the road , of course . awaking at the house of the cause of all that , wasn't that good of a thing to him either . if he so dive deep into his memories then he can remember the smell of homemade cooking , the warmth of whatever it was you were stirring , getting to him as he laid on the floor with a flimsy blanket and a barely fluffed pillow . your house looking like that of an old themed place with hints of modern all around .

"You're awake ? Sleeping is good but I don't think it's normal to do that on roads , streets . I called your parents . They'll be picking you up soon ."

you broadcast for him to hear , he was still half-asleep and still unable to process whatever it was that you were saying . he tried to blink it away but it didn't help much . so instead of just listening up on what you were saying , he just ended up questioning .

"Where are we ?"

"At my place . It's almost dinnertime ." you were too calm , in that black apron , obviously too big on you that you tied it at some areas to fit you . "Would you like some ? I'm not that much of a cook but this probably edible . I think ."

even if it sounded like you were okay with him not eating , you already had two plates ready , down on the table and pushed one in front of him , as you sit across where he is . he watched you do as you do . settling soon and thanking for the food and diving in . "You cook your own meals ?"

it was odd , shouldn't your mother be doing that ? aren't you just the same age as him ? young , a kid . true enough that you are all thought how to cook at school but that shouldn't in any way mean for you to actually be doing it yourself . "Not all meals . My older brother cooks most for us two . Since he kinda will be getting busy the next few school years , he's teaching me to cook a few dishes ."  how could you have time to learn about cooking ? shouldn't you be just like him ? studying your butt off until you just gives in ? "Your parents . . . ?"

he don't see any smidge of proof that those parents are gone , dead , in this average place you call your home . it's either they're too busy to care for you and your brother that you fend for yourselves , or they're overseas . "They're dead . Why are you asking so much questions ? Eat up already , it's gonna get cold ."

for a kid his age to just so emotionless-ly say that ; my parents are dead . it could either mean that they died before you got close to them or , you were just that void of emotions . he kept silent though . taking spoonfuls of that fried rice . "This doesn't taste like anything ."

how blunt . you just nod though , "I know right ? My older bro say the same thing ." he guessed you were actually really that down to earth of a person . not taking his insults that for him was just actual descriptions to heart like how others do .

"Don't you go to a cram school ?"

you shook your head , "No , we're low in cash . I can study on my own . Big bro helps me out ." you must be really close to your brother . seeming as he's the only family member you have left then maybe that's natural .

"Too bad . I'm rich so I don't have to worry about things like that . I even go to the best cram school in our area ."

you just looked at him , boasting like that while eating what food you made which he also said was tasteless , rather well . he's never had something like that before . something so simple and lacking . maybe that's why he couldn't stop eating .

at some point he was hoping you'd find him off with his intentional provoking of your way of living in the most indirect way possible with that sweet voice and smile of his . but well , you learned to show little to no reaction to everything not including your beloved older brother so you just nodded at him , a pathetic excuse of a response leaving you next ,

"Nice . Good for you . Want seconds ? I kinda made too many . I doubt my brother will be able to finish it all ."

he gritted his teeth with a warm smile and handed his bowl that he did clean up nicely , to ask for seconds obliquely . that was the first meal he had at your place made by you . after that little incident he found himself talking to you more and more . you both ended up kind of close since he keeps on clinging to you . be it by being annoying and bragging at times when he scores a bit higher than you or when he does better than you in anything really . you couldn't care less though . either way , your brother would still be praising you for doing so well at school . you didn't need to be perfect . your brother loved you for whatever you had to offer .

he ended up entering the same middle school , high school as you . you never get on the same classes with him during middle school then though . and when you pass at halls , all you ever do is give him a nod . it was nerve-ticking to not have any sort of connection with you anymore . having been sticking to you like glue , maybe he got used to having you around .

luckily for him , even if you weren't of same class , you were still of same lessons and teachers . the nicest coincidental shits he was ever so happy about . he made up excuses to meet up with you . something like , I wasn't able to take down notes so let's meet up in the library and let me borrow yours . or sometimes it'd be you approaching him , I didn't get a bit of this , teach me .

either way he found himself liking spending time with you more . even if your walls of iron were taller than his standards . he liked it when you asked him for something , liked it when you didn't bother him , liked it when you don't think much of his unintentionally said words that may seem insulting .

it wasn't long when he kind of wished for more .

more than you just using him as a trolley for your endeavors at shops during sales he never had to bother with . more than you just regarding him as a friend since you were kids . more than you just being nonchalant over his existence and unknowingly done advances .

to you , he was somewhat five steps behind . to you , he was nothing but a regular human . to you , he wasn't that perfect , kind , nice guy . to you , his looks weren't to die for . to you , his wealth wasn't his but his family's . to you , he's just him .

he's just good ol scaramouche , that somehow keeps on sticking himself with you . scaramouche that may get too arrogant or sharp-tounged . scaramouche who would often complain yet still perform to as you favor or say . scaramouche who is always there when you need him . scaramouche who doesn't stop competing . scaramouche who you can lean on . scaramouche who's your only friend .

as he so got himself unable to let you go , for a reason he so himself would like to know , to you , he also became important over the years . it's phenomenal , that he doesn't know of any of that . well , how would he have known ? with that heart of yours so set in stone ? so calm and stoic . how could he have known that he was one of the most important people to you ?

he never thought he'd be given a chance to actually know either . he was already a bit gleeful ( though he'd never admit to it ) that he was able to get into a class with you right after the start of high school . after chasing you for 3 years with no such achievement , finally , a school year with you .

he remembers particularly better than all else , how you walked out and excused yourself as your phone rang . the teacher at the time was kind enough to not mind the sudden interruption and let you take care of it out the class . he had a look of great boredom as he watched the teacher continue his discussion , and as he was pausing to check over his lecture papers , you slid the classroom door .

he still remembers , how you just stood there . ignoring your teacher's questioning of what was wrong and why you aren't heading back to your seat . your eyes just roamed about the room . looking for someone . out of all the girls that approached you and you talked to and you so sufficiently reply to or anyone really that had him thinking that he was just a normal friend , your glistening wide eyes only ever looked at ease as soon as his indigos were what it caught on sight . ironically , the moment you found him , was what got your front breaking , your hand was gripping at that small device he helped you pick out . you were so near to crying .

the reason ? he didn't know why that time . but his body was quick to cover your panicked state . it was a light commotion , since everyone was busy flipping their books to a certain page . he didn't know he could move as fast as how he did that time . immediately pushing you back out the halls as you finally let the tears go , down on your cheeks and his chest . he remembered how he could feel his breath shorten bit by bit , your tears a source of pain that had him thirsting to know what caused it .

"What's wrong ? Speak up , Y/n . I won't be able to help you if you don't tell me . Did something happen ?"

you looked so helpless as you held unto his uniform's blazer . pathetically speaking of what news you heard from whoever had called .

all of what happened next couldn't become a blur at that point . he remembered how he excused both you and him out of class speaking to the teacher of the emergency and came rushing to the hospital . you calmed down right away , when you probably realized that crying wouldn't do much . he held your hand through the drive , and unlike how he'd expect you to just ask why he was holding your hand , you just flipped it up and held back tight .

it seemed like you were calm again for a bit until you did see your brother on the bed , casted was his right leg . foolishly chuckling at you as you cried again as you held his hand at the side of the bed . your brother was hit by a car , but only his leg got injured . which was such a relief to you , that you cried again .

to be honest , scaramouche didn't understand at first why you were already crying just when you were told that your brother got hospitalized . a person like you already assuming for the worst when the possibilities could've been endless ? you weren't told that your brother was at death's door and all was said really was that he got hit by a car . a person like you , was what he believed ; wouldn't be panicking so hard over it that a new expression he's never seen you make would straight out appear of clear trace .

he still remembers how he was busy ordering food for the three of you's lunch , as he couldn't at all dare walk out when you looked so relieved that you seemed more aloof than usual , that you had slept at the side of your brother's hospitalized bed , when your brother suddenly started saying , "Sorry for the trouble , Scara . I haven't been able to go home because of work for three days now because I had to keep staying for overtime , and she's probably been staying up waiting for me those days because I didn't have time to tell her . Maybe having not much sleep , not seeing your only family member for more days than usual , and then being told that they're hospitalized , was too much to handle even for her ."

all he did then was nod , well that explains her deep sleeping at 11 in the morning . your brother pets your hair and pinches at your cheek . just at first glance , it's understandable that you yearned so much for his affection . this kind of brother gives you too much of it , that you can't help but ask for more .

"Our father had a sudden death too by getting hit by a truck . Ahhh , I'm oversharing again , sorry sorry . Just , thank you so much . Please don't think of her as that much of a bother . She's a good kid , despite that hard to decipher ; emotion-lacking face ."

his eyes shot wide , he turned right away to your brother , looking unbelieving . your brother just smiled . another clear trace of pain and light bitterness present before he voices next , "She haven't told you ? Figures . Y/n never really says anything unless you ask her things . She didn't show it that much too when Father did die , but I bet she was lonely . Really lonely . Mother died too giving birth to her so all she ever had was me ."

your brother was one hell of a talker . smiley , nice and easy to talk to , so unlike you ."Putting that aside . What are you to Y/n ?"

he knew both your parents were dead . he just never figured that it affected you in any way at all . maybe the effects rendered you as to what you are now ? barely capable of any big on expressions ? he blinks his thoughts away . none could be labeled accurate unless you say it is .

"Just a friend of hers , Sir L/n ."

"Ahahahah , no need to be so formal ! You can call me Big bro too if you'd like !"

said brother had him walking you home . scaramouche was initially planning on doing so though , since it was already late the time the chattering and all that ended . you two went by taxi again until just a few streets away from your place . you kept on inching that the fee for the taxi would be too big and you also had to worry about the first ride and the meals he bought for you so you really just wanna get off and have some fresh air and conveniently lessen the fee too—

in the end your stubbornness won to no fault . he ended up walking you though , which you just made this disdained look at as if , if he stepped you to your house's door then your debt would get bigger .

he couldn't care less though and just pulled you out of the taxi and paid . nothing you can do anymore than just follow him . "I'm sorry about that crying incident , Scara . I'll pay the fees for the taxi too and for the meals too . Must've been pricey since you bought them off delivery . Sorry—again ."

he turned , glaring at you . looking pissed . oh , how long has it been since you've last seen that look . you were expecting something like ; Shut the fuck up , I get it , okay ?

but all he did do was walk closer to you , that same look out for you to see . once he was close enough . he got a hand cupped around your cheeks . holding it with a mien you couldn't quite grasp until those eyes of his ; glowing despite the dark of the place void of any light-pried a shallow understanding in you . what he said next were confirmations that got your stinging eyes beg to have tears come out of them again .

"Stop apologizing . It's fucking alright . Stop making it seem like I'm going to pin you down for any payments either . What I spent on you today is nothing to what I have on my credit card . You know that ."

what he said weren't in any way soft or gentle . it wasn't what anyone would want to have as a channel of comfort , it would have been that way if he wasn't who he was . even at situations like this , you knew well to drift away from his insults and pry at his inner context . those that kept you hanging at his thorny existence . apart from his hold you yanked at his wrist to assure he doesn't so end it there , just yet .

"I still wanna pay you . You know I hate having to owe you ."

he knows alright , it was such a bother when he insisted to pay for your first mobile phone to finally get rid of the old model you have , so old he could say he's never seen one of it's kind in ages . you hated having things paid for you . unless it's done by your brother cause he's the only one with the unlimited exceptions .

"I don't need money  .  Much less any that comes from your pocket . Wouldn't it just be paid bit by bit too ? Wouldn't that just be a trouble for us two ?"

you just held at his wrist more . "What ya want then ? I can pay with anything , excluding perverted shenanigans , cause that's bad , with that said , I can pay with promises , pacts , innocent laborious service , you name it ."

you were sure then that he could never really stray away from whatever grip you have on wherever part of him . he'd just keep coming back even if he was the one that tried to leave , just like how you know you would with him .

he didn't seem to be thinking , was just looking at you .

"Okay , I choose ; pact from your given variations . What's in the pact include , one and only thing , be grateful ; you tell me everything from now on ."

"Everything ? In what sense ?"

"Why do you have so many questions ?"

"I am a woman of a lot of thoughts and our understanding of things differ at times , so I need confirmation ."

he sighs . moving away his hand completely . yours laying limp on air as he so moved it away , circling at the wrist you held as he rubbed it in a circular motion with circled index and thumb . as if to rub your warmth deeper on his skin .

"Just , important things . For example , like how I didn't know your father died getting hit by a truck , you should've told me—"

you could almost smile . moving back your body as you eye at his face so pretty . under that post light and night scenery . who knew he could get prettier .

"In other words , you wanna know more about me ?"

"Stop twisting it , dumbass ."

"I think I'm straightening it though ?"

"I swear , Y/n—"

you remember how you laughed at that lightly , before pulling out a hand in front of him , which he didn't know what meant until you said that a pinky promise would be too childish and you'd want a handshake instead .

"The payment feels too little compared to the ka-ching you spent ." he just rolls his eyes , "We already did the handshaking , shut the hell up ."

with the pact in mind , you started talking more . you also started being a lot more emotional over things , still too nonchalant about most but better than your past dismissing of everything . you started dressing jazzier as your brother started gifting you more pretty clothes , pins and decided to spoil you by dolling you up real nice , now that he got a job that pays well .

scaramouche had a hard time glaring at the guys that tried to approach you during lunch or any time he walks with you around the school. he was glad you were just as passive over the sudden confessions as you were with the love letters . little did he know , you learned it all from him .

you still always surpassed him at everything , and your name would always be at top and unlike then when you'd just act like you didn't care , you'd actually look a bit proud of yourself that has him wishing to crumble that sort of look on your face to millions of pieces-he doubts that you'd mind being at second place . well , sucks for him , he never really succeeded .

just like that , highschool also came to an end . college was just near the rear bend , and another segment of the story of you two has started . where you'll find yourself , with new seeking and wishing , and actually start accepting just how he's been inadvertently chasing .

SCARA-LiNE ! / WORK NAVi ! @chickynn hmmmm im , im bout to cri , your responses are always so , so inspiring—wait what—anywhoo , shems im so glad u aren't asking to not be tagged nemore aaaaa and ahm , yes ! filipino din po ako ! and im so glad u seem to have liked the previous oneshot <33 and uh yes ! this is actually ano , chapter one of a scaraseries ? a really short one ! and i , was wondering if you're up to being tagged on the next chapters or if you'd like to not be anymore ?