Part 3
Disclaimer: I have changed certain things from the series and the book regarding Hannah’s suicide and what she leaves behind. There are no tapes in this story.
Enjoy!
1 month later
Over the span of a month Alex and Scott had become very close friends. This was at first shocking to almost everyone who knew them but once they were able to witness how well the two got along everyone understood why the two were such good friends.
Alex and Scott walked into Liberty High together and made their way to greet their friends. Justin looked up the moment he heard Alex laugh and gathered his bag and textbooks before darting for the door, slamming into Scott’s shoulder in the process.
“Dude, What the fuck?” Scott yelled after him.
Justin simply raised his middle finger without looking back and walked out the door.
“What the fuck is wrong with him?” Scott asked.
Alex shrugged as they reached Zack.
“What crawled up his ass?” Scott asked again.
Zack shrugged his shoulders and quickly replied, “he always seems to be having a hard time these days.”
“Right,” Alex said.
“Yo,” Zack ruffled Alex’s hair, “you two coming over tonight?”
“Yeah, who else is coming?”
“Just a couple of guys from the basketball team.”
“Sure,” Scott replied and nudged Alex’s shoulder, “we’re in, aren’t we?”
Alex nodded and pulled out his phone to check his instagram feed. He scrolled mindlessly until a photo that Justin had posted the night before came up; in the picture Justin was wearing a white t-shirt, his varsity jacket, and a blue snapback that Alex was certain belonged to him at some point.
Scott noticed that Alex was no longer paying attention to the conversation and decided to sneak up behind him. “You should just talk to him if you’re so in love with the guy.” He whispered in Alex’s ear, effectively scaring the life out of him.
“Fuck off, Scott,” Alex shoved the other boy away and began walking to class, half-expecting him to follow. “It’s not that easy.”
“I think it is.”
By the time 8:00 o’clock came around Alex was driving to Zack’s house when he received a text message. He waited for the next red light to quickly read it and type out a reply. Scott was letting him know that he may be late or not go at all. Alex sighed and continued to drive until he finally reached Zack’s house.
Stepping inside Alex felt out of place; Zack was always kind to him and they got along very well but somehow being in his house makes him feel smaller than usual. Although Zack’s house is big, it’s not the size that makes Alex uncomfortable; maybe it’s the way Zack always seems too stressed and worried about everything staying in its rightful place that makes Alex uneasy.
Alex was wearing a light gray sweater and had tossed his black denim jacket over his left shoulder; he pulled on the sleeves until his fingers were covered as he walked into the living room where he could hear the other boys playing video games and their loud laughter.
Almost everyone in the basketball and baseball team seemed to be present; everyone except Scott and Bryce. Some of the guys were in the kitchen sipping on whatever expensive liquor Zack’s parents could afford. Others played poker at the dining table and a few sat on the couch playing video games. Alex noticed a figure sitting on the steps leading to the backyard, behind a large glass sliding door. Alex quickly recognized him.
He decided to look for Zack to say hi, Zack was slightly tipsy and offered Alex a drink from his own red solo cup. Alex shook his head and pushed the boy’s hand away.
“Scott not coming tonight?”
“He said he might not make it.”
“He alright?”
“Yeah.”
They engaged in a few more minutes of small talk before Alex made his way to the sliding door. The boy was still there. He slowly slid the door open and stepped outside. The cold air caused him to shiver slightly as he sat on the steps next to Justin, who was currently taking a drag from a cigarette.
“You smoke cigarettes now?” Alex asked.
“What do you care?” Justin said. He dropped the cigarette and put it out with the toe of his boot.
“Right.” Alex said. He grabbed his jacket and offered it to Justin as he looked at the boy currently only wearing a thin black t-shirt. “It’s cold out here.”
Justin shook his head and looked straight ahead at the distance. “Then you should wear it.”
“Seems like you need it more.” Alex placed it over Justin’s shoulders and sat sideways to look at the other boy. “It was yours anyway. You get to keep it.”
Justin turned his head slightly to look at Alex. He bit his lip, nodded his head, and quietly said, “thanks.”
Alex had been so busy trying to avoid Justin for the past month and a half that he didn’t notice he wasn’t the only one hurting. Justin had deep dark circles under his eyes, his cheeks looked sunken in, he didn’t style his hair anymore, he usually kept to himself, and had apparently also picked up a smoking habit.
“Are you okay, Jus” he asked cautiously.
Justin looked back at him almost incredulously then shrugged his shoulders indifferently.
“You don’t look too well.”
Justin huffed out a laugh, “thanks.”
Alex smiled and bumped his shoulder. “My balls will freeze soon so c’mon,” he said and stood up, “let’s go inside.”
Alex extended out his hand for Justin to take while the other boy simply looked back at him as if he had grown a second head.
“Do you need me to pick you up and get you inside? Because I’ll have you know that I’ve been working out and can totally do it.”
Justin laughed and stood up. He reached for Alex’s hand and interlaced their fingers together. They both walked back inside hand in hand, Justin looked around ready to snap at anyone who dared say anything but no one seemed to pay them any attention.
They found an empty couch and sat together as they talked about anything they could think of. Justin’s laughter filled the small bubble they had created and Alex felt a sense of pride he hadn’t felt in a long time. They talked and laughed most of the night until Justin suddenly looked up and saw Scott approaching them. His smile immediately fell and Alex looked back to see what had upset him.
“Hello, boys.” Scott greeted them.
Justin nodded his head and stood up; Alex looked up as he properly put on the denim jacket and made his way out the front door.
“Did I interrupt something?” Scott asked.
Alex let out a deep, frustrated sigh and rubbed his face with his hands, “I don’t even know anymore.”
“You could go after him, y’know?”
“What’s the point?”
“Just let him know that whatever he thinks is going on isn’t actually happening.”
Alex looked at Scott and smiled slightly before standing up and going out to start his car. He drove around for a little while and eventually found him near the exit of Zack’s neighborhood. Alex parked the car and walked quickly to catch up with Justin.
“What the hell do you want, Standall?” Justin asked sounding bored.
“Why did you just leave?”
“You should go back before Scott comes after you.”
“Why do you care what he does? Or what I do for that matter?”
“I don’t”
“Really?”
Justin turned around, causing Alex to almost crash against him as he had been following him closely, “really.”
“Good,” Alex shoved Justin away. “You didn’t care before, why should now be any different?”
Justin looked hurt by his words.
“Oh, don’t give me that face. It was you who cheated on me and fucked everything up.”
Justin looked taken aback. He exhaled and ran his hands through his face and hair. He walked to sit on the curb.
Alex followed him and sat beside him, “sorry.”
Justin looked up and Alex saw the tears pooling at his eyes, threatening to spill down his cheeks. “You’re right. It’s all my fault”
Alex didn’t respond.
“You look happy.” Justin whispered and the tears finally rolled down his face, “happier than when we were together.”
“I am happy.” Alex looked up and stared at the night sky. He felt the cold seeping through the thin fabric of his sweater but at the moment nothing mattered but themselves and the stars above.
“I’m glad he’s making you happy.” Justin sounded resigned as he uttered those words and Alex could hear the pain in his voice as it cracked slightly.
“I am happy,” Alex repeated. “But it’s not what you think. There’s nothing going on between me and Scott. We’re just friends, so stop looking at him like he’s done something terrible and being a dick to him all the time.”
“Sorry,” Justin whispered. “I wouldn’t blame you if there was something going on.”
“Are you saying you like Scott Reed for me?” Alex bumped his knee against the other boy’s thigh.
Justin laughed even though he was still crying, “you deserve to be happy.”
“So do you.”
Alex offered Justin a ride home; at first he denied but eventually gave in and told Alex he was staying at some cheap motel off I-84.
They drove in silence, peacefully listening to old rock ballads on a random station. Justin anxiously tapped his finger against his thigh and periodically snuck glances at the blond boy beside him. Alex looked good. He hadn’t gotten as skinny as he had and Justin was glad for that; yet when Justin took the time to really study the younger boy’s features he noticed that there was something intriguing about his face. His eyes no longer shone as bright as they had before, his smile looked the same but the wrinkles that usually appeared at the corner of his eyes were absent. Maybe Justin wasn’t the only broken one after all.
Justin remembers how hard Alex was on himself after Hannah Baker’s suicide. He blamed himself for not noticing soon enough to do something to save his friend. Hannah appeared normal until the very end, no one would suspect how bad things were in her mind because that’s the way she wanted it. Alex had made mistakes in the past but they didn’t make him the monster he thought himself to be. Alex had looked hollowed out, void of emotion at the time. He was just empty. Justin hadn’t seen that in a long time but tonight he did. Alex wasn’t okay. He looked just as empty.
Alex was supposed to take exit 43; the motel was only a couple of minutes away. Instead he pulled over on the side of the highway.
Justin looked at him questioningly.
“Let’s go somewhere else instead,” he suggested skeptically. Then he started talking and it was as if he couldn’t stop himself from trying to find a reasonable excuse for why he wanted Justin to spend time with him before he went home. “I don’t really wanna go home right now and I had already told my dad I was gonna stay at Zack’s even though I never really intended to. It’s okay if you don’t wanna go. I can still drop you off, I just thought that maybe talking would be good; but like i said you really don’t have to come if you don-”
“We can go wherever you want.” Justin interrupted, eyes never leaving Alex who simply nodded and started driving again.
They ended up at the beach. It was empty apart from a homeless man lying in the sand while he clutched a bottle of whiskey. At first Alex didn’t say anything and Justin didn’t push him to speak. They just walked together, side by side, until they came across a lifeguard tower. Alex climbed up first, he decided he needed to be higher and made his way up to the seemingly unsafe roof. Justin followed after him a moment later.
“Why are we here?” he asked.
Alex shrugged his shoulders and pointed at the sea, “it’s beautiful.”
“So you brought me here to appreciate the ocean’s beauty?”
Alex hummed in approval.
“It is pretty nice.” Justin agreed.
Alex smiled and laid on his back to look at the night sky, “I used to love going to the beach with Peter and my dad when I was little.”
“Really? What was that like?”
“My dad would go with a couple of his friends and he always brought us along. He never let us go in the water alone even though Peter always said he could take care of the both of us. He always told Peter he was sure that he could but he just wanted to swim with us as well. My mom was always busy at the hospital so she rarely ever went with us. Still, they’re all good memories.”
“Sounds nice. At least your dad was around to do those things.” Justin said sadly. He wasn’t upset that other children got to experience nice things with their parents, he was glad that Alex was among them. “If I ever have a kid, I’d bring them to the beach.”
Alex wanted to reply but all he could do was close his eyes and he could almost envision a future with Justin, a kid, and a god perhaps; having a picnic at that same beach but the memory was short lived as he instead said, “we need to talk about Scott.”
“Uh,” Justin said and stood up. He jumped down from the roof onto the creaky wood planks that made up the lifeguard tower. “No, we don’t”
Alex stood up and followed after him, “yeah, we do and we’re gonna talk about him right now.”
Justin huffed out a breath and jumped to the sand. He began to walk away and was stopped by Alex’s slim fingers wrapped around his bicep.
“It’s about Jeff,” Alex whispered.
Justin slumped his shoulders and exhaled, “What does Jeff have to do with anything? I thought we agreed not to bring any of that up.”
“Scott thinks Jeff was drunk.”
“So? Everyone thinks that.”
“It’s not true.”
“It’s not up to us to say anything, Alex.”
“He hates himself,” Alex spoke softly. “Scott hates himself because he thinks he let his best friend down. And he’s angry because he thinks Jeff lied. You and I know Jeff didn’t lie.”
“Alex,” Justin sighed his name as a plea for the other boy to drop the subject. He didn't.
“Scott needs to know the truth.”
Alex’s tone was firm. At that moment Justin understood that he wasn’t being asked for permission or even for his opinion. A decision had been made and nothing he could ever say would persuade the other boy otherwise.
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Hope you guys enjoyed. I will upload the end soon!
If you haven’t read parts 1 & 2, here are the links to both:
PART 1
PART 2
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