Some very specific whump aesthetics swirling around in my mind right now. Something so appealing about holding someone captive in an everyday location with a dedicated, non-imprisonment, non-torture purpose, and hurting them with the very quotidian, innocuous, useful implements that it's outfitted with. A macabre way of recontextualising the mundane. All of this to say you should lock your whumpee in your garage-slash-tool shed and tie them up with tow rope and then break out the hammer, or gardening shears, or power tools...
It's finally time -- Flipside is ready to be knighted. He has squired long, learned his tenets, studied and memorized his prayers and names. Now he is given a quest: travel to the abandoned Chapel of Rising Voices to fill a gap in Memory's Great Recollection.
What ensues is a test of skill, a test of faith, and a single question asked worth answering: are all things meant to be remembered?
we get up early. excited smiles finding each other in the dark. the sky, a thick, deep sea blue; the cat asleep at our feet. the house’s lone light on our street. we move quietly from bathroom to closet to kitchen to bedroom. I could have sworn we packed better, we whisper in laughter, eager and unhurried. you bring a quilt I can curl into from the passenger seat. I brew two full mugs of coffee; grab the half-empty candy bag leftover from Halloween. I meet you in the car, the street rain-slicked and sparkling. a few early-morning commuters to the city roll sleepily by, misty fog carrying the red stain of stoplights. “Ready?” you ask, key in hand, hovering by the ignition. The grounding thrill of the drive ahead of us, radio switching on as the car shakes awake, a grin grabbing at every corner of my face. “Ready.”
Okay this stuff is pretty much all just surface-level stuff, so if you are in the drafting stages, you have my complete permission to ignore it (not that you need anyone's permission to do anything in your WIP).
Good? Good.
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The main thing about worldbuilding on the page is making it feel real, feel present for your reader. The main thing you'll hear is using your five senses. After all, they're how you experience the world in real life. And not only that, but unless your POV is very different from most things you'd experience on Earth, they're going to be naturally equipped with at least some of the five senses.
The trick here is that no one percieves the world in the exact same way. Sometimes, it's a difference in physical ability, such as if you're blind, you're not going to rely on sight, but a lot of it is about personal history and backstory. For example, I'm a swimmer. One of the most notable things (beyond the humidity) is the smell of chlorine. If I were somewhere and I smelled something similar, such as bleach, I might describe it similar to the smell of chlorine because that's what I'm used to. But say someone really never swims, and they're a janitor. They'd have the association of mopping floors, and swimming might never cross their mind when describing the smell. These associations will also have memories attached, and memories invariably come with some kind of emotion.
So the above example was pretty much the gist of my whole post, but I would like to go into a little more detail about how to a) figure out what’s worth describing, and b) how to describe it from the perspective of your POV.
An oft-cited guideline in writing is that each time you move to a new location, you have to set the scene. The extent of that set-up will vary based on how many times we’ve been to that place, and how observant your POV is.
Regardless, there are a few pretty universal questions for setting each scene:
Has the POV been to this place before? If so, how much time have they spent here? This is going to influence a few things. First, if they’ve been here often, they’re likely going to gloss over the familiar, and focus in on anything that’s different or that’s changed. They’re also going to have more memories attached, meaning you have the opportunity to describe things through the context of those memories (”the windows were pristine as always. The pane Emerie had smashed with her textbook last summer was swiftly replaced - the evidence wiped away.”). Because they have memories of the place, they’re also going to have emotions surrounding it. These emotions are going to influence the comparisons they make and what they call attention to, as well as word choice. If they haven’t been here before, they’re probably going to be comparing it to places they have been, and memories and emotions are going to be based on those tangential experiences.
What is their emotional and physical state going into wherever this place? If it’s their first time going into this place, their state will drastically alter their first impressions and how they describe whatever they notice (ie: word choice: are words veering positive or negative?). If they’ve been to the place before, their current state is going to color what they notice, but they’ll have a baseline. If there’s relatively muted emotions connected to the place, it might override those emotions. They might channel their emotion through their reactions to the place. For example, if they’re angry, they might be really pissed that the chairs were moved because they liked the original setup. If they’re excited, they might not be bothered by the usually annoying grey walls. If they’re exhausted, they might not notice as much. If they don’t want to be here, that’s going to make a big difference
Beyond that, things start to get more specific to the circumstances.
Consider the character themself:
What is the character’s reason for coming here? This will influence what they focus on.
Is there anything major on their minds? See above.
Where do they spend a lot of their time? What are some of the most memorable things from their life to them? What places have they been that were similar to the place they’re currently at? All of these will influence what comparisons and descriptions they’ll use to describe where they are.
Also, consider the details of the setting:
Where are things spacially?
What’s the color scheme? What is visible immedietly from where the characters are entering, or from where the narration starts? What do things generally look like?
What can be heard? Are some sounds almost too quiet to hear? what are the louder ones? What do the sounds sound like?
What smells are there? Is it a mix, or is it overwhemingly one thing?
What about feel? What’s the air like? Is it warm or cold? Is there a breeze/air flow, or is it more still? What about textures?
If there’s something to taste, what is it? what does it taste like? Is there anything that might be described as taste, even if it isn’t really?
Even if you don’t use all of this detail when you’re setting up the scene (and you probably shouldn’t), it’ll give you good material to choose from to keep things interesting.
For the details you think your character would notice first, or at least notice and think were important, how would they personally describe it? Are they deeply familiar with that smell, or do they have to resort to something else from their life it reminds them from? Or is it so foreign they only have adjectives with no memory attached to it to describe it? Is it something they find uplifting, or is it foul?
A final note is to think about words and/or lingo your character’s learned. If they’re specialized in an area, they’re probably going to have picked up field-specific words, and be able to call items associated with the field by their proper name without really thinking, or they may use slang. For example, my main character has been a part of a secret military branch, and refers to pretty much all non-military individuals as civilians as her go-to word.
So. This has been long, but I figured I’d end with some actionable steps. Each time you set the scene, go through and see how you can personalize it specifically to your POV character. Think about their experience with each element you’re trying to describe, and think about what experience they have with that element already, and use word choice and/or small snippets of memory or opinion to describe it as your character would.
Your writing is so incredible! Just beautiful and full of emotions. I really wish I was able to write like you like it actually is like I’m watching a movie when I’m reading your fics it’s mind blowing. Do you have any tips you can share for making a scene feel so real and flow so perfect? If not it’s okay I just wanted to say that you are one of my favorite writers and I admire your writing style so much. Okay I’ll stop bothering you now 😆 I hope you have a great weekend!
Hi, anon! Thank you for saying this - and for reading what I’ve written on here.
The fact that you think my writing is involving enough that it makes you feel like you’re watching a movie is ... a huge ass compliment.
I’ve shared a couple writing tips on here, and this post on my Ko-fi before, but don’t think that I’ve ever hit what you asked head on. So a few things off the top of my head?
- Make sure what happens is realistic. For example, if the characters are in a bedroom or a living room, think about a smaller amount of space, the placement of furniture, the way that others in the same room would change it. Typical characters won’t have mansion sized spaces to work with, and having characters do things that aren’t possible won’t make sense to readers, and can be distracting. This includes smut positioning, use of strength, bodily functions ... etc.
- Use the surroundings to help readers focus on what happens with the characters. I try to include other things - outside sounds, carpet, furniture, lighting, time of day etc - to help set the mood. Even though the focus is usually on the people in the stories, drawing attention away from them briefly can help to bring attention back to them in the end. For example, when characters are watching TV in the dark, your readers will be able to imagine the way the light bounces off of their skin, or how the low volume in the background changes the way they speak. Or, if they’re in a crowded place, they’ll sometimes have to lean in closer to be heard, or walk closer to gether, or lead each other.
- I know that fic is about making things happen that might not actually happen ... but that doesn’t mean that things should seem unbelievable. This includes everything from regular interactions to smut. It’s possible to write without actually experiencing something, or having been somewhere ... but it’s so much easier to pull from actual experiences and tweak them to suit the story. Most of the places I’ve written about, I’ve been. Vegas, the Bahamas, Chicago, Los Angeles, Disney ... When you’re not making up every single detail, it’s easier to paint a picture for everyone else.
- Be willing to ask for and accept advice and assistance from other people. If you’re going to be sharing your work in the end - or even if you won’t - but still want feedback, ASK. I have a few people on here that I ALWAYS turn to when I’m unsure of a scene or dialogue, or if I have questions about character behavior. It’s helped me so much to know what works or doesn’t, and even when I’m told that something is absolutely out of character or impossible, no matter how disheartening it is at first, I am grateful in the end that I was able to change it for the final draft.
** This includes reaching out to people (like you did with this message) and asking questions. Most writers are more than happy to answer questions and give tips and advice to other people, because the more people that write, the better. **
- Edit. Proofread. MAKE CHANGES. Each chapter or story that I write gets edited MULTIPLE times before it’s posted, and I think it helps a TON. Sometimes, what we have in our heads doesn’t translate well when we put it on “paper” - and needs changes. So, even though you may type something out and it makes sense to you because you’re the one that envisioned it, it might not be as coherent or logical or flow as well when someone else reads it. You can fill in the gaps - others can’t always do the same.
Writing isn’t an easy thing to do. I have a leg up because I’ve been doing it for YEARS both professionally and for fun, and I’ve learned a lot in that time. Don’t get discouraged if you feel like something you create isn’t “as good” or “as complete” or “as detailed” as what other people write, because people shouldn’t have the same styles. You need to find and create your own voice, because that will keep things new and exciting no matter what you write.
I am OVERLY critical of my own writing, even though I’ve gotten messages like this before. That’s normal, I think, for most writers ... but you can’t let it keep you from creating. Everyone’s process is different, because everyone has a different story that they want to tell. Good writing takes time, and as long as you’re willing to put that time in, you’ll see improvement.
Thank you again for sending this message. Thank you for the compliments. It’s things like this that make it all worthwhile, especially when put up against the crappy anons like the one from last week. Am I the best writer on this site? No. Not even close. But I’m so thankful that there are plenty of people that enjoy my work anyway. And I’m having fun ... which is all that matters.
You are NEVER bothering me. Please feel free to send asks whenever, and as long as Tumblr doesn’t eat them, I will answer as best as I can. I hope you’re having a great weekend, too.
