#schmidtsource

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April Showers

What a month, ladies and gentlemen.

At the time of writing, I’m forty-six days into my isolated quarantine experience. I’ve definitely found my groove and morale is still in good shape all things considered, but there’s a profound sense of loneliness that I’ve been having a tough time trying to describe. I don’t need to put words to it today, though, so I’ll keep soldiering on and taking notes on how I’m feeling to fuel creative exploits to come. The last couple years have been a notable descent into despair, and being alone with my thoughts has given me a lot of space to dwell and dissect my experiences. As I’ve prattled on about for months, though, I’m doing so in what I’d like to think is the healthiest manner I can with net gains in mind!

I think I’m on the mend now, but a few days ago I started feeling unusual pain in my dominant hand. While it appears that I’m healing and can potentially attribute this discomfort to a minor lid-twisting snafu, extensive editing with a trackpad was at the forefront of my mind when it first manifested. It’s funny how I processed that possibility, though. I kind of just accepted it as another sacrifice I’ve made in the pursuit of passion and thought, “this is happening a few years earlier than I would’ve expected”.

Now that it’s looking likely my hand will recover and I’ve processed that experience, I’ll be looking to ease myself off trackpad editing to slow down any damage to my hands long-term. I can’t duck out of this marathon, so I need to stop treating it as a sprint and take strides towards persevering my ability as long as I can. That mentality needs to be applied across the board!

The corporate promise I was extended held true and I’ve signed a new contract with my current employer, so I’m officially transitioning from contractor to “permanent” employee as of the first day of May. Now when we enter a post-pandemic society, I won’t be paying out of pocket for that wisdom tooth surgery and subsequent dental appointments for however long this chapter of my life lasts. I haven’t felt any pain, so at least I can say my wisdom tooth hasn’t bored through my molar yet.

We’ve continued to keep Super Battle Buds chugging along over the last few weeks. We’ve updated our layout and panels, and have an audio solution so both Will and I can stream together! Animal Crossing and Nintendo Switch Online’s SNES library have proven to be effective at keeping our content consistent, and it’s been a good time so far.

I opted for entertainment over extra exertion this month. The projects I outlined at the end of March have seen modest progress, but I chose to invest a lot of those hours into playing Final Fantasy XV instead. This pandemic has done wonders for reminding me that I should be mixing up my distractions, and it’s been worthwhile. Let me tell you, I cried from at least four scenes going through FFXV. I’m a ridiculously emotional fellow, but I feel like I can chalk some of that up to quarantine time taking its toll and making me more susceptible to feelings. Let me tell you, folks: April Showers were certainly experienced at the Schmidt Suite! What’s important, though, is that this kind of catharsis really fuels me. I’m really glad I took the time to indulge in that game, and I came out of my playthrough satisfied, inspired and more driven for content creation than ever!

If I only accomplish one thing before this ridiculous ride is over, it’s that I want to create an experience -- whether it be passive or interactive entertainment -- that leaves at least one viewer with the hollow sensation that comes from a moving work of fiction. If I can make someone cry and cherish an emotional journey they’ve had with one of my future works, that’ll make this humble nihilist feel all sorts of fulfilled.

When it comes to the new channel trailer, Patreon overview and personal introduction video, I focused on diving deeper into the second. I’ve been trying to lock down how I can bring more value to my page before I write up a script, and I think I’ve settled on some ideas. RiskyPixels proposed I offer some of the assets I use in my videos, which I’m inclined to do going forward, and I’m considering an exclusive Let’s Play series for patrons to watch. I need to put that concept through its paces and develop a complete run before promising it, though, and that means it’s going to take time to get there. I just have to keep that marathon mentality!

I wonder if quarantine will have an end in sight by the time I write my next entry. I think we’ll have a clearer picture at the least, but I don’t intend to get hung up on that. My marathon needs my full attention, and I have some catching up to do!

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The Next Chapter

It’s time to retire my monthly posts, folks. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’d like 2022 to take shape, and while I’ve been consistently putting out these posts since 2015, I think it’s finally time I retire this humble, little blog to double down on what I want to accomplish. There’s a chance I might bring it back one day, continue them offline or make them an annual activity, but I'll be putting a pin in them for now. I keep a daily log on Instagram, and I think that does more than enough for publicly sharing my life. Go follow me over there if that strikes your fancy! Happy New Year!

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Budgets & Boosters

It’s the last day of November at the eleventh hour, folks, and that means it’s time once again to review the last few weeks and commit my thoughts to the screen. Was it a whirlwind as much of the year has been? You know it! The Omicron variant is officially here after it was declared just a couple days ago, but at the time of writing we’re still in the dark as to whether its many mutations spell disaster for us. It seems poised to be the next dominant strain, but until we have more time and data, it’s just a lot of educated guesswork right now. All I can say at this point is I cancelled going for a spa day with my chums to wait on what the scientific consensus is now that it’s in Canada, although in the grand scheme of things, I hope I regret that decision and this variant isn’t too intense or effective at circumventing vaccines. I’ll be eligible for my first booster come January, so if it’s resistant, we’ll be finding out at an uncomfortable time for me to gauge if I get it in January or wait until a specialized booster is made available. When it comes to the pandemic, there’s always something new to stress about, eh?  On a lighter note, I got all my holiday shopping done well in advance compared to last year, and I had it all mailed to the village to minimize my luggage for the trip home. We just got word that our carpool plan is downgrading from three to two since plane tickets to Ottawa are much more expensive than Timmins, though, so one of our members is taking a different route and space won’t be the issue I anticipated.  I’m glad that chap will be spending notably less on this excursion, but it’s a shame that’ll also be boosting up our car rental price since it’ll be split two ways now. That isn’t too big of a problem on its own, but after factoring in some bonus expenses of both the bad and good variety that cropped up this month, my budget for this holiday window has definitely ballooned beyond what I planned to accommodate. That being said, I also took home an extra paycheck this month that helps offset everything a bit! The editing contract I took on actually wrapped up just a couple days ago, which proved to be a longer undertaking with a higher payout than I was expecting, so it all worked out well in the end. With everything I’ve been juggling lately, though, it’s been a pretty stressful month, and I’ve really been feeling like I’m running on fumes charging towards the homestretch before the holidays. Fortunately, my time to rest is coming with December on the horizon! Despite the looming threat of the pandemic and my lingering burnout, there’s a lot I’m excited about when it comes to the next month and year ahead. I’ll continue to internalize it all for now, since I’d like to talk more about everything when it’s in the rearview mirror, but suffice it to say I have a good handle on my optimism at the moment and I’d like to think it’ll stick for a while. Here’s to a healthier budget and workload ahead!

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Balancing Defeats & Triumphs

It’s Halloween, folks. The final day of October is here and that means it’s time to write! The trouble with saving these posts for the last day of the month, though, is that the tone is dictated by however I’m feeling at the time. That’s not necessarily the case for scripts or works of fiction, but for introspective pieces like these, how you’re feeling is really the driving force behind why the text ever meets the screen. I guess that’s my way of saying I’m feeling a little low this evening and that’ll sort of define how I look back on October as far as this monthly entry is concerned, but there’s definitely cause for celebration and optimism from this month, too. In the interest of balance, we’ll do some alternating between the good and the bad. For the former, I checked off something on my resolutions checklist I thought was a lost cause: I’ve claimed a new desktop PC! It was part of a render farm before being decommissioned in favour of Google’s Cloud solution, so I nabbed it at a marvelous discount. The fact I jumped on it without a second thought proved to be the right move, too, because the next day after the deal was offered and I picked up the machine, all ten units were sold.  As for the latter, I’m officially back to office life. Fortunately it’s only once a week with filming tasks that warrant my physical presence so far, but with the nature of this job and the times we’re in, I don’t see that trend continuing after [REDACTED] and it’s back to what can all be done remotely like the last two years. There’s certainly jobs I’ve held before that could justify frequent office days, but with this one being typical tech fare, I just don’t feel it here. The pandemic doesn’t help either. I don’t sleep the nights prior to those shifts, and when the commutes feel like courting death with the days following plagued with anxiety over COVID, it feels like defeat. Back to the positive side of things, I took on a new editing contract this past week that’ll see me paying off that new computer lickety split. It’s still in the early stages, but despite the fact I’m still kind of burned out and shouldn’t be taking on more work right now, I’m having fun with it. I’ve also been diving back into AfterEffects tutorials, and I can see how this project might pull me into more before it’s through. Video editing and plotting out productions is such a fantastic thrill, let me tell you!  I’m not sure how much I’ve talked about it in my monthly posts to date, but there was a side hustle I was involved in the last year that looks to have buckled under external pressures. It’s set me back a fair bit and proved to be a lesson I don’t feel like I needed to learn, but I’ll just have to make peace with the time that was lost and forge a new path forward with the hours remaining on the clock. There’s a milestone I want to hit in 2023, and although this setback really pulled it off the roadmap, I’m ready to do a little off-roading to make it happen at a smaller scale. In the interest of clearing more of my resolutions and working on my personal development, I also kicked off therapy with two introductory sessions through a counselling service this month. I’m still deciding if and when I’ll take the next step, but that pair proved helpful in different ways. The first was notable for sharing my thoughts, providing context for my perspective, and seeing where the cracks were exposed. Hearing where my voice would crack during certain statements and not others, as well as noticing what thoughts I shared caused the therapist to fumble over her words in response, gave me a lot to think about after the session. The second, though, reminded me why I prefer to tackle matters of the mind myself: talking to someone can prompt some new perspectives to get the gears turning, but I generally get more value out of my own inner monologues and don’t necessarily need to pay someone to hand me prompts I can find myself. We’ll see, though. I’m still thinking of exploring this a bit further to ensure I’m totally satisfied with abandoning this direction or ultimately embracing it. I usually wonder if keeping this sort of public log is really worthwhile, but I think there’s a few compelling reasons to do it. Having a sizable snapshot gallery of my thoughts, feelings and experiences could prove to be insightful or interesting to folks who want to know about a quirky character like me going down the path that I’m on, or could be helpful for anyone mourning my passing one day and wanting to skim through my journey. One thing I’ll always appreciate about taking the time to write these monthly posts in the present, though, is that they have a habit of turning my mood around. I kicked this off in a somber state and climbed my way to a more upbeat headspace here at the end that I’ll carry into the homestretch of Halloween. While it’s not always the case, defeats usually come out looking less heavy than they felt going through them and the scales are ultimately weighted more towards the triumphs. With that in mind, I’m heading into November with the right dose of humility and confidence! 

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Turn the Page

Another September is coming to a close, folks, and with it ends my longstanding streak of remote shifts as I return to the office in October. While there’s still a window of uncertainty about how that’ll feel, I can at least say that I’m quite pleased that it didn’t kick off midway through this month!

I think I made notable progress when it comes to my public comfort levels, though. One of my weekend hangouts this month marks the first time since the pandemic began where I didn’t feel on high alert after the proceedings ended. I’m usually anxious about infection for a few days after a social session, but that wasn’t the case for once. Although seeing people for an extended period of time drains me way faster than before, even my social endurance is seeing improvements. We’re not at pre-pandemic levels, but I’m pleased with these strides. I’m just hoping office work doesn’t bring me any steps backwards.

While I don’t want to dwell on the subject for too long, my day job saw a surprising development this month with 3D modelling being added to my responsibilities. You could say I have a pretty diverse selection of hats to shuffle between now! The last time I really tackled 3D modelling is almost a decade ago now, so there’s been a lot of rust to shake off, but I managed to find my bearings pretty quick and can find my way around well.

When it comes to content creation, I’ll keep it brief as usual since I have Patreon posts for the particulars, but suffice it to say that it was a hefty month behind the scenes. The Patreon for the channel should be seeing its overhaul in October and I’m looking forward to offering some nifty little bonuses to folks interested in my work.

That channel has been running for over four years now, and it’s library feels like a time capsule of experiences for me. When I look at the lineup, I remember what chapter of my life was being written at the time and it’s a bittersweet timeline. I’m sure I’ll feel that even more deeply once I finish all the fighter overviews I’ve been doing since 2018: that’s only a couple months away.

I’m definitely drafting this out in a sentimental mood tonight. The Christmas break has been plotted out, and while the duration is the same, our carpool is larger. It’s looking like a few things are going to be different this time around. Hopefully for the best, but we’ll have to wait and see. All I know today is that there’s only a couple months to go before I see my family again and I’m eager to get there and turn the page on another year.

Before I can, though, there’s still plenty to tackle before the year is through. I think I might shed some light on my resolutions come December to weigh how I did going into a year knowing the score with a pandemic in effect. There’s still a few items on that checklist that I still need to clear that are in the realm of realism, so having a tight timeline remaining should serve as solid motivation to power through! As always, though, we’ll have to wait and see how it all comes together!

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Returning to the Road

It’s been another rollercoaster of a month, folks, but there’s been nothing quite like the July incident, so comparatively it’s been a tame time and dare I say a splendid affair. I’m more than happy to take wins whenever I can, so that works for me! Pending any surprises over the next couple of days, it looks like my return to office life will resume in October rather than the mid-September date that was determined last week. I’d like to think that’ll either give me the time I need to ease into society again after a hefty hiatus, which is seemingly essential since that revelation was met with shaking hands that lingered for over half an hour after word was delivered, or give us a decent window to find out how bad the fourth wave could be in a month’s time to gauge the risk from a more informed position. Regardless, the more time the better when it comes to feeling out this fourth wave! I was also close to securing my first vehicle from a family member earlier this month, but unfortunately it wasn’t in the cards. After a couple weeks of researching insurance providers and getting in gear, it failed its safety check on the homestretch with a rusty frame, so that steal of a deal just wasn’t meant to be. I was really getting comfortable with the independence a vehicle would offer, but that’ll have to wait. I claimed a new pair of glasses this month, and spent way too much on Ubers making that happen. Caution comes at a price, you could say. Additionally, I finalized all the vertical videos for Short September on the Super Battle Buds channel, so that experiment will kick off tomorrow when the calendar flips over and the first of thirty automated uploads is released. I’m ready to see those results through some new lenses, let me tell you! August saw more traction when it comes to socializing and regaining my footing. I spent two weekends with a household of chums, attended an outdoor party wherein I quickly skedaddled when it moved inside, and went for a walk with someone in a park. Did some of these experiences heighten my anxiousness and prompt my first COVID test? Sure, but I’d say it’s progress all the same. I can officially say I know what a nasal swab feels like now, too, so that’s something. I don’t personally recommend them! My physio regimen is continuing to go well, and I think I’ll be making a transition to biking at some point next month to gauge my endurance. Although winter is coming, if I can avoid a few public transport trips to the office when the time comes by pedaling my way over, I’m definitely game. On the recreation front, I’m happy to report I’ve been getting back into a good rhythm after a bit of a break following AI: The Somnium Files in July. Now I’m picking away at the Great Ace Attorney Chronicles and dabbling in a few other titles along the way: Yoshi’s Crafted World, Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair, New Pokemon Snap and Pokemon Unite come to mind! It sounds like a lot of time is going into gaming based on those titles, but they’re largely from the weekend outings and an hour or two in the evenings of recent weeks. I’ve also found a way to watch the latest season of Better Call Saul, so overall I can say it's actually been a good month for taking my mind off work. As for the month ahead, there’s a lot I hope to get done between personal projects and gearing myself up for a return to physical office presence. I’m hoping I can overcome my pandemic anxieties, but I’m very much treating it as a process, and fortunately I have the time to do so. Here’s to what’ll hopefully prove to be a productive and promising September!

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Burned Out

July was an experience, folks. It’s not something I enjoy revisiting, but it’s worth taking time to document in this humble, little log of mine. I had another traumatic incident that bore a resemblance to my experience back in 2013. You could say I quite literally, physically burned out. The evening of my second vaccination, I experienced what paramedics described as a severe headrush that was brought on not by the dose itself, but by dehydration. I wandered around my apartment, struggling to hold onto my consciousness for about five minutes. I slipped into states of complete confusion a lot during the ordeal, but I managed to keep myself from collapsing while my vision blurred and limbs convulsed. I spent that time totally convinced I was going to die, and I’m pretty sure it could’ve gotten dicey if I hadn’t managed to regain control of my breathing and drink a lot of water to level myself out.  The reason I remember the rough duration is because I checked the time when I had stood up, a few seconds before it began since quick movement like that is typically the trigger for headrushes, and my Discord message to my friends to call for help came about five minutes after that. I opted to delegate calling an ambulance, because by the time I had my wits about me enough to reach out, I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d still be conscious to stay on the line. Five minutes is a long time to believe you’re about to die, though, let me tell you. As I mentioned earlier, the paramedics said it likely had nothing to do with my vaccination, but the doctor I talked to a couple weeks later thought otherwise. That doctor also prescribed me Gatorade for my lingering side effects, though, so I’m more inclined to trust the paramedics who checked my vitals the night of the incident. I personally think the truth lies somewhere in the middle, because my headrush was ultimately caused by dehydration, which was surely spurred on by overheating from a mild fever from my vaccine, sunburns I got on my arms and neck during the journey to my appointment and the simple fact I was engrossed by a movie and hadn’t drank water much while I was lying down for a couple hours. A recipe for disaster! I don’t think you can have your brain short-circuit like that without some lingering side effects, but they seem to have subsided at this point. I still find myself replaying the experience in my head whenever I’m not caught up in anything that claims my focus, but I think that’ll simmer down in due time. As an existential nihilist, experiences like these take a pretty heavy toll, and I know I technically never stopped thinking about the 2013 incident, but keeping close calls at the back of your mind tends to maintain some perspective, and these events influence me for the better despite how deeply they disturb me in the moment.  Anyway, that’s enough about my interpreted brush with death. Let’s look on the bright side for a bit! I went out with a chum for my first Costco trip since the pandemic began last Friday, and this weekend I’ve formally broken my isolation streak just shy of eight months by heading out for a sleepover bonanza with some of my closest companions for the long weekend. Unless the Delta variant gets out of control or mutates and throws us for a loop, I’ll be easing back into socializing again now. Time will tell if we can keep it up, but at least this weekend is assured!  I’ve also been having a good time juggling between my video projects and game development tasks I dove into at the end of June. I’m spinning a lot of plates, but I’m still overflowing with joy at the fact I’m still alive. That’ll be my fuel for quite some time, so the stage is set for August to be a splendid affair!

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Just a Little Longer, Folks!

I feel like this month was the perfect middle ground between what happened in May and what’s to come in July. That transitional period I considered May to be feels like it stretched on into June in a lot of ways, and I’m super glad to say that things have been building up in the right direction the last couple weeks that really make July feel like an exciting time!

My first vaccine dose has been successfully injected on the fourth of June, and supplies in the province seem to be in good enough shape that it was announced that accelerated second doses would be permitted. With the Delta strain standing as the strongest candidate for mutations that’ll render the current selection of vaccines moot, this is at least good news for the immediate future here in Canada.

I woke up right when the floodgates opened for accelerated appointments on the twenty-eighth, and claimed the earliest date I could, so I’ll be fully vaccinated well before my next monthly post. This isolation streak of mine that’s been in effect since December 31st 2020 is going to end soon, and I’m still navigating my complex, conflicted thoughts on it! My impressions are still the same, though: the pros outweigh the cons and this is good news!

Schmidt Times’ fourth anniversary is going to be kicking off on the first of July, and with it marks what I hope is a thrilling new chapter for the channel. The plan was to already be there with just the final remaining Smash Fighter overviews being Kazuya and whoever claims the last slot, but there’s still three more from the base roster I need wrapped up, too. 

Super Battle Buds also has an ambitious project planned for September that I’ve started picking away at, and I’ve kicked off a project that I’m hoping to have wrapped up early on in 2023 that I’ll surely be discussing more as the month’s press on. Suffice it to say, though, I won’t be walking that road alone like I originally anticipated. My creative output is going into hyperdrive now, and paired with my inevitable vaccination, I’m feeling renewed in all the right ways!

My phone being broken ended up being a greater hassle than anticipated since the first delivery of a new device didn’t arrive and I had to wait on an investigation before a second one was sent to me. Fortunately, I still got it well in advance of when I needed access to my disabled accounts and needed to call an Uber for my latest dental appointment, so everything worked out. There was a day mixed in there when a fuse blew in my apartment and I got to experience what being completely cut off from the internet and communication felt like, and I think that’s something I’ll be carrying with me for quite some time, but we’re through the thick of it now.

I have a new poster courtesy of Kurzgesagt, which is effectively a Death Calendar, where you check off weeks as it descends through the years of your life. It’ll be an existential motivational tool going forward and provides a tangible presence to what’s always going on in my head. Especially after a pandemic that’s locked me down for so long, the passage of time is felt even more potently than ever, and I want to ensure I’m always using that despair as fuel.

My resume templates have also been formally overhauled and converted from classic Word docs to Affinity Photo projects that enable far more efficient organization and management. When it comes to my career, I’m feeling well-equipped to jump on application opportunities as they crop up!

We’re officially at the halfway point of the year, so the timing of everything falling into place couldn’t be better. There’s a lot of hard work ahead of me, but I’m eager to take it on and see what comes of it! Pending any surprises, I’m optimistic July’s post is going to be the start of some serious momentum. Just a little longer, folks!